Unlikely Lover
by Zalawyn
Summary: Hawke visits the Chantry after her return from the Deep Roads expedition. During her visit she fortuitously encounters an intriguing resident of Kirkwall that quickly turns into more than just an acquaintance.
1. You Had Me From hello

_**Disclaimer**__: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p_

**A/N –** This chapter has been updated and is hopefully better and more detailed than the original. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcomed.

_You had me from hello  
>I felt love start to grow<br>The moment that I looked into your eyes, you won me  
>It was over from the start<br>You completely stole my heart  
>And you won't let go<br>I never even had a chance, you know  
>You had me from hello<em>

~*~ _You Had Me From Hello - Kenny Chesney _

**Summary**: This story begins just after the end of Act I in the Dragon Age 2 plot. Hawke visits the Chantry after her return from the Deep Roads expedition. During her visit she fortuitously encounters an intriguing resident of Kirkwall that quickly turns into more than just an acquaintance. _Rated M for future chapters._

It was quiet in the Gallows as Knight-Captain Cullen walked through the keep. He took his time as he strode through the long well-lit corridors, enjoying the near silence of the morning as he made his way to his post in the courtyard.

"Good morning, Knight-Commander... First Enchanter." He greeted, nodding to each as he passed their offices.

"Ser Cullen, I need you to do something for me", Cullen sighed quietly, "There goes the peaceful morning", he thought to himself grimly. Halting his steps he slowly turned around and walked back to the doorway of Knight-Commander Meredith's office, "What can I do for you Knight-Commander?"

"I need you to deliver this letter to the Grand Cleric for me and it needs to be done right away."

"Of course, Knight-Commander", he replied with a nod.

Cullen took the letter from Meredith and turned to exit her office with haste. He considered himself a proud member of the Templar Order -always willing to serve and with honor-, but Meredith made his skin crawl. The woman's icy demeanor made him nervous and it took great strength of will on his part to hide his uneasiness in her presence. Cullen stepped back out into the hallway and was greeted by the presence of First Enchanter Orsino now standing in the doorway of his office across the hall.

"Knight-Captain, would you allow me to accompany you on your trip to the Chantry? I would appreciate the chance for a walk outside of the Gallows and some fresh air", Orsino stated. He didn't really desire to visit the Chantry himself, but any provided opportunity to get out from under Meredith -even if only briefly- was well worth taking.

"I don't mind, First Enchanter, as long as the Knight-Commander doesn't need you here." Cullen replied. He learned during his time at Kinloch Hold that mages were an incredible danger to themselves as well as everyone around them, but Orsino had earned his respect rather quickly after his arrival in Kirkwall. If for no other reason than the simple fact that Orsino dealt with Meredith nearly all day -every day- and he has yet to go insane.

"I do not. Take him with you.", Meredith called from behind him. Cullen barely managed to contain the chuckle that tried to wrestle forth at her tone, "take him with you so that I don't have to deal with him"was what he imagined she was thinking.

Orsino glanced back into his office and eyed his staff leaning against the wall. He knew he probably wouldn't need it, but he didn't like leaving it behind if he didn't have to. Reaching in and grabbing it quickly he stepped back into the hall and pulled the door closed behind him. He then slipped his staff onto his back and the two proceeded towards the Gallows courtyard and onward to the boat that would take them across to heart of the city.

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><p>"Good morning, Your Grace." Hawke announced with a slight bow as she approached Grand Cleric Elthina. She had always avoided the Chantry as a child, but this was only one of the many things that had changed for Hawke since arriving in Kirkwall. Her visits had begun several months ago after a trying day that left her feeling the need to pray for guidance. She had given her word to a Dalish Keeper that she would ensure Merrill -the Keeper's First- made it to Kirkwall safely, but it was not until after making that promise that she discovered Merrill was a blood mage. Malcolm Hawke, her beloved father, had taught her many things during her life, but two of his most earnest lessons had caused her great inner conflict that day. "Honor is the only thing a person has that can not be taken away by another. Never sell your honor, always be honest with yourself and to those around you, and do not make a promise you do not intend to keep." he had said. But he had also told her, "Blood Magic is forbidden for a reason. It is an art used by fools and cowards. Any who choose to sell their soul and honor to a demon -no matter their reason- does not deserve life." Those two lessons had played over and over in her mind. Merrill was a blood mage and therefore deserved death, but she had given her word to the Keeper and she was honor-bound to keep it.<p>

"Good morning child. I have not seen you in awhile. Have you just returned from your expedition into the Deep Roads?", Elthina asked with her usual gentle and matronly tone.

"I returned a few of days ago, Your Grace. I would have visited sooner, but my mother was distraught when I returned. My brother decided to join the Templar Order while I was gone and she is worried for his safety."

"And what of you child? How do you feel about his choice?"

Hawke wondered -not for the first time- if somehow the Grand Cleric knew what she was. Why else would she ask such a question so pointedly as if she expected a particular response? Pushing away her worrying for the time being, she smiled at Elthina, "I am proud of him. He needs to build a life of his own and if being a templar is what he wants, then he has my full support."

"Your brother is very lucky to have your love, as well as your acceptance of his chosen path." Elthina said with a gentle smile.

Mentally willing herself not to bristle at the implications she heard in the Grand Cleric's words, Hawke replied, "I may not agree with all of the Chantry's teachings, Your Grace, but I do have faith in the Maker and that He has plans for all of us. We make our own choices in life, but we can not control what fate has in store."

Hawke's attention is suddenly drawn to movement in her peripheral vision and she turns to see Ser Cullen walking towards her. With her already worrying thoughts, the appearance of the Knight-Captain made Hawke incredibly apprehensive as she watched him approach. Taking a step back, Hawke felt her heart speed up and the sound of it pounded in her ears. If he was here to take her, she would not fight, but the thought of being locked in the Gallows was not a pleasant one.

"My apologies Serah Hawke, I did not mean to interrupt." Cullen stated as he drew near.

Not wanting to test her luck, or his previous oversight of her lineage, Hawke chose to excuse herself swiftly, "Not at all Knight-Captain, it's nice to see you again... Your Grace, I will take my leave so that you may speak with the Knight-Captain. I will speak with you again soon."

"May the Maker guide your steps, child."

Hawke quickly turned to leave, but her haste to escape was all but forgotten when her eyes fell on the mage that accompanied the templar. He was a tall and slender elf, with beautiful large green eyes, and his graying hair was slicked back neatly. He wore an elegant black robe with red and gold trimming, and the ornate staff on his back was intricately carved to appear as a three headed snake at one end.

Noticing her pause, Cullen spoke once more, pulling Hawke thoughts away from her shameless ogling. "Hawke, I do not believe you two have met... This is First Enchanter Orsino of the Circle of Magi here in Kirkwall."

Regaining her composure, she smiled at the mage, "You are correct Knight-Captain, I have not yet had the pleasure. It is very nice to meet you First Enchanter."

"A pleasure to meet you as well, Serah", Orsino replied as he reached out for Hawke's hand and laid a kiss to her knuckles. Hawke felt her cheeks warm at the gesture and she bowed her head slightly as she slowly drew back her hand.

"Knight Captain, may I be allowed to walk Serah Hawke out of the Chantry? I will wait just outside for you," Orsino requested. Hawke noticed that his eyes never left hers as he was speaking to the Knight-Captain and the intense stare caused her cheeks to blush further.

Cullen hesitated for a moment, considering the possible ramifications of letting the two speak in private, but he decided to trust the First Enchanter for the time being, "You may, First Enchanter."

Orsino extended his arm and Hawke took it appreciatively. The two then made their retreat from the presence of the Grand Cleric and Knight-Captain and hastily departed the confines of the Chantry's walls.

"It is an honor to finally get the chance to meet you, First Enchanter. I had thought to seek you out before now, but I did not think it wise to draw any _extra_ attention to myself." Hawke stated as the large doors closed behind them.

"I will admit it is a bit of a surprise to see one such as yourself in the Chantry. Even more surprised to find that you are acquainted with the Knight-Captain." Orsino replied as they approached the stone railing over-looking Hightown.

"Yes and unfortunately he knows what I am, but for some reason he has chosen not to mention it. I suppose it could be because my friends and I saved his life when we first met, or perhaps because we located a missing templar and killed the blood mages responsible for the kidnapping. I had expected to be locked in the Gallows when I reported our success, but they have not come for me as of yet."

"It is not safe for you to remain in Kirkwall, my dear. Even if Ser Cullen doesn't turn you in, the Knight-Commander will not hesitate to have you thrown into the Gallows -or worse- if she discovers your presence in the city", Orsino said with a frown.

"I am aware of that, First Enchanter, and I appreciate your concern, but I can not leave Kirkwall. I have my mother here to take care of and my little brother...", Hawke sighed and leaned over, placing her elbows on the railing and looking out on the people bustling about below. "I have been running from templars and the Circle all of my life and I am tired of running. If they come for me, so be it. I will join the Circle and at least know that my family is nearby."

Orsino leaned down on the railing next to her and she found herself once again drawn into his entrancing green eyes as he spoke, "I do not wish to see you brought to the Circle if it can be avoided. I have heard your name mentioned a few times already, and something tells me that you will do more good for the city -and it's mages- if you remain free instead of being locked in the Gallows. I will do what I can to keep your name from being dropped on Meredith's desk."

"Thank you, First Enchanter. I appreciate any help you may be able to provide.

"Please, just call me Orsino when we are speaking privately."

"Very well, Orsino", Hawke said with a smile, "and please just call me Haw..."

"Hawke!"

Hawke stood and turned toward the source of her name being called to find Anders walking towards her, "Anders? What are you doing here?"

Anders glanced at Orsino and frowned at the elder mage before looking back at Hawke, "I went by your uncle's house looking for you and your mother told me I would find you here. If you have time, I could use your help down in my...", Anders cut himself off and glared at Orsino once more before continuing, "Could you come give me a hand?"

"Of course I will Anders, and this is First Enchanter Orsino of the Circle here in Kirkwall, by the way. Orsino, this is my friend Anders." Hawke introduced the two, though she was fairly certain Anders would not approve.

"Nice to meet you, Anders", Orsino said and offered a hand for Anders to shake.

Instead of shaking the elder mages hand, however, Anders crossed his arms in front of his chest and grimaced at elf, "Hawke, we should go. It's not safe for us to be here."

"Anders, speaking to the First Enchanter is not..." Hawke began, but was cut off by Anders once more, "Hawke, we should _go_." he said stubbornly.

Before Hawke had a chance to argue with Anders Orsino placed his hand gently on her forearm, "He is right, my dear. _I_ am not a threat to you, but the templars are another matter. You two should go before the Knight-Captain returns."

"Of course, First Enchanter", Hawke conceded with a sigh, "it was very nice to meet you, perhaps we shall have an opportunity to speak again soon."

As they descended the steps in front of the Chantry Hawke hit Anders in the arm with the back of her hand and frowned at him. "You didn't have to be so arrogant, Anders. The First Enchanter was civil and did not deserve your rudeness."

Anders frowned back at her, "Hawke, I don't want to argue with you... The First Enchanter is just as dangerous as the templars and you should be more careful."

Hawke rolled her eyes at Anders' paranoid ramblings, but said nothing further. As they approached the stairs to Lowtown she glanced up at the railing where she had previously been standing and smiled as she saw Orsino looking at her. He waved down to her and she waved back just before stepping out of sight.

Hawke set her bowl on the table and took a seat across from her mother, "Good evening Mama. How was you day?", she asked as she took a bite of her soup.

"I had a wonderful day dear. I was finally able to meet with the Viscount and he has agreed to sell us back the Amell estate. How was your day dear? Did that mage friend of yours find you this morning?"

Hawke eyed the bread on the table for a moment before deciding to tear off a small chunk. "His name is Anders, Mama, and yes he did. He needed my help in his clinic today, that's why I didn't come back this morning like I had planned." She dipped a tiny piece of the bread in her soup and ate it before continuing, "I also met the First Enchanter of the Kirkwall Circle today. He seemed very nice."

"Are you sure that is wise dear? First Enchanters are usually loyal to the Circle. You are not concerned that he may turn you in?"

Hawke rolled her eyes "What is it with people that support mages, but ridicule the First Enchanter simply because of his position?" she wondered to herself. "No Mama, I do not believe him to be a threat. He even said he'd do what he could to keep the Knight-Commander off my back. We've already had this discussion, though. I am not hiding anymore, if the templars come to take me to the Circle then so be it, at least you and Carver will still be close."

Leandra sighed at her daughter's words ,"Darling, don't say that. With Bethany gone, and Carver joining the templars, you are all I have left and I don't want to lose you too."

"Mama... It's not something I want to do, but I want to build a life for myself and I can't do that if I am always running and looking over my shoulder. I will not allow the templars to force me to live a life of fear simply because I am..."

"Leandra! Would you _please_ keep your daughter's dog out of my room... Oh, you're here." Gamlen yelled as he exited his room and glared at Hawke when he spotted her at the table.

"Maker's Breath, why do people keep interrupting me today...", Hawke muttered under her breath. "Zedicus, come here boy, and stay out of Uncle's room." She flashed a dark look at her miserable uncle before turning back to her food. Once she finished her meal she stood and walked over to give her mother a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to take Zedicus and go over to the Hanged Man for awhile. I'll try not to be too late, but don't wait up for me. We'll go see about purchasing the estate first thing in the morning."

"Be careful dear. You know it worries me when you wander the streets at night by yourself."

"I will, Mama." she replied as she grabbed her long cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Come on, Zedicus." she called to her mabari. Hawke grabbed her staff and the two made their way out the front door.


	2. Name

Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p

* * *

><p>AN - This chapter has been updated and is hopefully better and more detailed than the original. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcomed.

_Scars are souvenirs you never lose  
>The past is never far<br>Did you lose yourself somewhere out there  
>Did you get to be a star<br>And don't it make you sad to know that life  
>Is more than who we are<em>

_You grew up way too fast  
>And now there's nothing to believe<br>And reruns all become our history  
>A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio<br>And I won't tell no one your name _

~*~ _Name - Goo Goo Dolls_

**Summary**: This story begins just after the end of Act I in the Dragon Age 2 plot. Hawke visits the Chantry after her return from the Deep Roads expedition. During her visit she fortuitously encounters an intriguing resident of Kirkwall that quickly turns into more than just an acquaintance. _Rated M for future chapters._

_**Two weeks later.**_

Hawke sat at her desk, slowly thumbing through the pages of an arcane text she had discovered in the cellar of the Amell estate. She was especially fascinated by one of the techniques described within the old book, using magic as a means of travel. A rune can be drawn at a desired location, then a mage is linked to the rune with a binding spell. Once this is done the mage can teleport to the location from anywhere. Not only that, a mage can be bound to multiple locations which meant one could potentially teleport to, and from, a location with little effort.

"Darling, Carver asked me to give this to you", Hawke jumped as her mother approached behind her. She had been so entranced in her reading that she didn't even hear her mother return. Putting down the book, Hawke took the letter her mother held out to her. Eying the wax seal on the back closely she frowned, "This not a templar seal... did he say who it was from?"

"No, but he indicated that it should not fall into the wrong hands. I would guess perhaps it's from someone in the Circle.", Leandra said with a questioning look.

Hawke shrugged, "I don't know anyone in the Circle except..." a smile began to form on her face, "the First Enchanter." Suddenly feeling a bit like a giddy teenager, Hawke quickly peeled open the seal and began to read.

_Serah Hawke,_

_I hope this missive finds you well, my dear. I have wished to contact you in some way since our meeting two weeks ago, but I have been far too worried for your safety to attempt sending a letter to you directly. It seems the Maker chose to provide me an opportunity, however. You can imagine my surprise when I was introducing myself to some of the new templar recruits and met a young man by the name of Ser Carver Hawke. I made the connection immediately, knowing he must have been the brother you mentioned. I told him that I had met you a couple of weeks ago and asked if he knew how you were doing. He told me that last he had heard, you were doing well. I then decided to write you and ask your brother to convey this missive to you. _

_I would greatly enjoy a chance to speak with you again, but I am afraid that I am rarely allowed to leave the Gallows without an escort. I also do not like the thought of you risking coming here to see me. I hope that I am not being too forward by admitting that you have crossed my mind every day since we first met. There is something about you that I feel drawn to - even though I know so very little about you. I'm sure I will regret writing those words before this letter even leaves my desk, so please don't mind an old fool's ramblings._

_What school of magic do you specialize in? What about your friend that I met outside the Chantry? I was very glad that I saw no signs of the use of blood magic from either of you. The last thing we need is more corrupt mages running rampant in the streets of Kirkwall. It brings me no small amount of joy to know that there are at least two free mages in the city that are trying to help people rather than harm them._

_I was thinking about how you said that you had helped Ser Cullen, and it occurred to me that the blood mages you were referring to must have been Idunna and Tarohne. I had no idea who they were or what their plans were when I was informed of their deaths, but I am glad you were able to put an end to whatever they were attempting. _

_In my many years as First Enchanter I have come to the conclusion that Kirkwall has the highest number of blood mages outside of the Imperium. In the correspondence I have received from First Enchanter Irving in Fereldan, it seems the templars are much harder on the mages here than they are at Kinloch Hold. I have to wonder if the templar's actions cause more mages to turn to blood magic, or if the high number of maleficar's causes the templars to act as they do. Perhaps it's just the Knight-Commander..._

_I'm sorry my dear. I did not intend to burden you with my idle musings. I will conclude this letter here and I look forward to the chance of seeing you again in the future. Until then, stay safe and out of the templar's view as much as possible._

_Sincerely,_

_Orsino_

Hawke folded the letter and placed it inside the cover of her book with a smile on her face. While reaching for a piece of parchment and a quill, she noticed her mother was still hovering near the door.

"Do you need something, Mama?"

"No, I was just wondering what the letter what about, dear. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to", Leandra said with a slight grin.

"He was telling me that he was surprised to find out that my little brother was a Templar, but he likes that it gives him the ability to slip letters to me without others' knowing. The rest of the letter was mainly asking about a job I did awhile back... you remember the one where I saved Ser Keran from those blood mages? Anyway, he just says he'd like for us to be able to speak again, but that it is safer this way for the time being."

"At least he appears to be trying to keep you out of danger, just be cautious, darling." Leandra turned and left the room. She recognized the look on her daughters face and was well aware of what was happening, even if Hawke didn't realize it herself. As much as she wished to warn her daughter away from the path she was heading down, Leandra couldn't help but to be happy for her.

Hawke folds the return letter and drips a few drops of wax on the back to seal it. "Perhaps I should have a Hawke seal made now that I own the families old estate" she mused idly to herself. She stood from her chair and grabbed the book she had been reading, before exiting the study. She climbed the stairs and entered her room. She placed the book on her bed and grabbed her cloak off the back of a nearby chair. Wrapping it around her shoulders along the way, she made her way back down stairs. "I'm going to see Aveline, Mama. I'll be back shortly", she called out as she opened the front door.

Exiting her estate in Hightown, Hawke crossed the street and climbed the many stairs leading up to the Viscount's Keep. She greeted a few guards she recognized along the way, as well as a couple of nobles that had come by the estate to welcome them after their move. Upon entering the keep she made here way to the barracks and stopped outside the Guard Captain's door to knock on it softly. It was only a moment that she waited before the door swung open and she was greeted with a smile.

"Hello Aveline, how is the lovely Guard Captain today?" Hawke asked as she took Aveline's silent invitation and entered the office.

Aveline closed the door behind Hawke and walked back to her desk, "I'm doing well Hawke, what brings you here? Do you need my help with something?"

"Well, sort of..."

Aveline laughed at the sheepish grin on Hawke's face, "What do you _sort of_ need help with, and I'll see if I can _sort of _help", she replied.

"I received a letter today from First Enchanter Orsino. I wrote him back, but I do not want to risk trying to deliver it myself. I need someone that can deliver it directly to him -or to Carver- so that it doesn't end up in the wrong hands." Hawke said with a slight pleading look.

"Give it to me, Hawke, and I will deliver it for you now while I am not busy."

Pulling the letter from her robe Hawke placed it in Aveline's outstretched hand, "Thank you, Aveline. I'll try not to make a habit of asking this of you."

"Oh don't worry about it, you've gone out of your way to help me more than once. Delivering a letter is a simple enough favor in return. Want to grab a couple of drinks tonight?"

"I'll be there, and your drinks will be on me", Hawke said with a nod. "Thanks again, Aveline. See you tonight", Hawke replied as she swung the door open and exited the Captain's office.

Entering the Gallows courtyard Aveline took a quick look around. Not seeing Carver anywhere she made her way over to Ser Cullen.

"Guard Captain", Cullen bowed his head slightly in greeting, "congratulations on your promotion, by the way. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Thank you, Knight-Captain.", Aveline bowed in return, "I need to speak with the First Enchanter if he is available."

"Of course, Captain. Follow me and I will show you to his office."

Aveline walked next to Cullen in silence through the Gallows, taking in the place as they went. She was surprised to see how much the Gallows really did look like a prison on the inside. "Perhaps mages have good reason to fear being locked up in this place"_,_ she thought to herself. She was so caught up looking at her surroundings that she nearly ran into Cullen as a he came to a sudden stop in the small corridor and knocked on the door in front of him.

"Come in", she heard from the other side of the door. Cullen took a step back and gestured for Aveline to enter, "I appreciate the escort, Knight-Captain, I can find my way back to the courtyard", she said, praying that he would go back to his post and leave her to speak to the First Enchanter in private.

"My pleasure, Guard Captain, and let me know if I can ever be of assistance", Cullen bowed his head once more before walking back down the hall in the direction from which they came..

Aveline opened the door and entered the small office, closing the door behind her. "First Enchanter Orsino?", she asked as she looked at the elf now standing behind his desk.

"That is correct, and I can see that you are with the Guard. How may I help you?" Orsino asked cautiously. It was not often that he spoke to a member of the Guard, and never without the Knight-Commander joining the conversation and breathing down his neck for information.

"I am Guard Captain Aveline Vallen -but you may call me Aveline- and I am here on unofficial business. I was asked to deliver a letter to you by a dear friend of mine."

"Well thank you, Aveline, and you may call me Orsino. Would that friend of yours be a young lady by the name of Hawke?", he asked with a smile.

"It would indeed, Orsino", she replied as she handed the letter to the elf. "I do not know what the two of you may be discussing, but I will warn you, if you do anything that brings any harm to Hawke, so help me..."

Orsino's smile widened at the Captain's threat, "A true friend indeed, Guard Captain", he said with a nod. "I assure you I am doing all in my power to ensure her continued safety in the city." he continued earnestly.

Aveline relaxed slightly at the elf's sincerity, "That's good to hear... she gets into enough trouble on her own, without any help", she replied with a small chuckle. "I will take my leave. I'm sure I will see you again if Hawke continues writing you. Have a nice day, Orsino."

Aveline opened the door and Orsino spoke once more, "Thank you again, Aveline. I am glad to see that she has such trustworthy friends looking out for her." Aveline smiled and nodded, before closing the door behind her. Orsino sat down at his desk and his long slender fingers gently peeled open the wax seal on the letter.

_Orsino,_

_Thank you for the letter, it was very nice to hear from you. Things are a bit quieter for me now since returning from my expedition into the Deep Roads. I bought back my grandparent's estate and we are just about settled in. My mother seems to be very happy living back in the house she grew up in; I am just relieved to be out of my uncle's squalid hovel. I'm really enjoying working in the garden behind the estate, it reminds me of our home back in Lothering before we had to flee the darkspawn._

_I am not surprised that you have met my brother, though a small part of me had hoped that you would not put it together so quickly. I should have known, however, that a man of your intelligence would not miss such a detail. Most people in my position would probably be angry at their sibling (my fellow mage friend was quite furious with the news), but I am very proud of my brother. I think that the Order needs more people like Carver. He knows first hand that magic is potentially dangerous, but he also knows that it is not inherently evil._

_Tarohne and Idunna are indeed the mages I was speaking of. Nothing infuriates me more than blood mages. Why do so many turn to the forbidden arts in the name of freedom when all they are doing is proving the Chantry's point? Tarohne was determined on turning Kirkwall into the next Imperium and though I do believe mages should have more freedom, they do not need the power claimed by Tevinter Magister's. An elven friend of mine is an escaped slave of one such magister, and it makes me ill hearing the things he witnessed and endured there._

_As for magical studies, my friend and I are both spirit healers, though we do have some skill in other schools as well. I met him about a year after I arrived in Kirkwall. I was thrilled to meet another mage outside of the circle and even more amazed to find that he was a healer like myself. _

_I too, would like to speak with you again. Please do not regret your words to me or ever feel that you are being too forward, it is a refreshing change to have someone speak to me so honestly. I am also happy to know that you have been thinking of me as much as I have thought of you since our first meeting. I would really like the chance to spend some time with you, to get to know you better, perhaps even receive your advice on how to improve in some magic areas that I struggle with. _

_I will close this for now and see if a friend will deliver it to the Gallows for me. I look forward to your next letter and to seeing you again when the opportunity arises._

_Sincerely,_

_Z. Hawke_

Orsino refolded the letter and slid it into his robe, before returning his attention to his work. Knowing that he could not send her another letter safely until next week, he'd have plenty of time to think of a suitable reply in the coming days.


	3. Livin' On The Edge

Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p

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><p>AN - I am fairly new at writing fanfiction and this is the first story I have decided to post for others to read. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome. I hope you all enjoy.

_There's somethin' wrong with the world today  
>I don't know what it is<br>Something's wrong with our eyes  
>We're seein' things in a different way<br>And God knows it ain't his  
>It sure ain't no surprise<br>_

~*~_ Livin' On The Edge - Aerosmith  
><em>

Summary: This story begins just after the end of Act I in the Dragon Age 2 plot. Hawke visits the Chantry after her return from the Deep Roads expedition. During her visit she fortuitously encounters an intriguing resident of Kirkwall that quickly turns into more than just an acquaintance. _Rated M for future chapters._

* * *

><p>Hawke paces the floor of her bedroom waiting for her mother to return home. She finds herself somewhat dismayed at how eager she has been all week waiting for Orsino's next letter. He has been on her mind more and more the last few days and she is not entirely sure what to make of her growing feelings for the elven mage. She longs to find a way to see him again, but she is not quite desperate enough to risk walking into the mages prison for just a few stolen moments of his time.<p>

Hearing footsteps on the stairs Hawke turns and sees her mother standing in the doorway, a letter in her outstretched hand. Hawke grins and closes the distance between them, taking the letter into her hand and placing a kiss on her mother's cheek.

"How was your visit with Carver, Mama?"

"It was a nice visit. The Knight-Captain says he is doing well with his training, and he looks so happy there. I wish you would have gone with me to see him today."

"I want to, Mama, I just don't think it is a good idea. It's too dangerous for me to go to the Gallows any more than I have to. It is also a risk to Carver, it is his duty to turn me in. I won't risk causing trouble for him if I can avoid it."

"I know darling, that is why I made different arrangements for our next visit. Carver will be coming here for lunch next week."

"That's great Mama, I look forward to seeing him... and thank you for the letter as well."

"You're welcome. Your dear mother may be getting old, but I still have my eyesight. I saw how anxious you were this morning when I left", Leandra said with a knowing smile.

Hawke grins at her mother and settles herself on her bed before peeling back the wax seal of the First Enchanter to reveal Orsino's elegant handwriting.

_Hawke,_

_It was such a delight receiving your letter today. It was obvious to me that your friend thinks very highly of you (and is very protective of you as well). I am so very happy to know that you have such trustworthy friends watching out for you, I even told her as much. I was actually quite surprised to hear from you so soon. I had thought that you would wait and send a letter with your mother next week, but it appears you are rather resourceful. _

_Your brother seems to be an honorable young man and I also believe he will serve well as a templar. Most here do not view the mages in such a way, the Knight-Commander being the worst among them and she has many devoted followers. It brings me comfort knowing that there are people like you and your brother in the city. It makes me feel as though there is hope for some changes to come in our future. It is very late and this old man needs some rest, I will write some more before your mother's visit next week._

_I apologize for my handwriting being a little shaky tonight, it has been a very trying day. Meredith had the templar's bring in one of my apprentice mages for questioning. He was accused of using blood magic and even though Meredith had no evidence supporting this claim, still she demanded that the unfortunate apprentice undergo his Harrowing immediately or suffer being made Tranquil. I tried to reassure the poor lad, but he was terrified... he should not have had to take his Harrowing so soon. In the end I watched the boy fail the trial and fall to a templar's blade._

_The rest of my day was spent listening to Meredith go on about how she knew he was a blood mage and that failing his Harrowing was proof. It did not matter to her that the boy had not yet completed his training. This is the first time she has pulled such a stunt and it worries me that things will only continue to get worse. I must rest, my dear. I will write more tomorrow._

_Today was a quiet day, thank the Maker. I was surprised to learn that you are a spirit healer, even more so that your friend is one as well. Spirit healers are somewhat rare - it is a school that very few can comprehend, let alone master. I am even man enough to admit that your healing abilities probably well outshine mine. My strength is in the Elemental arts... fire specifically. As for your statement about receiving my advice, I believe we could probably both learn much from each other. I would be delighted to discuss the various schools of magic with you at any time._

_It lightens my heart to know that you did not think my words to you were too brazen. In all of my years I have never been so enraptured by another as I am with you. I can not decide what it is about you that entices me so... I suppose I can only continue to hope that eventually I will be provided the opportunity to discover the true nature of these feelings. _

_I find that writing to you brings me a bit of peace in the evenings, a way to relax after the annoyances of my day. I do so wish that I could see you again soon, emm'asha. Perhaps soon I will be able to devise a way for us to meet safely. Until then, I look forward to your future letters._

_Sincerely Yours,_

_Orsino_

Hawke sighs as the folds the letter and walks the distance from her bed to her keepsake chest. _This letter just makes me long to see him even more, _she thinks as she places the letter in the chest with the previous one. She exits her room and descends the stairs to find her mother sitting in front of the fire. She takes the seat next to her and tries to think of a way of meeting with Orsino without endangering anyone.

"Did the First Enchanter have anything interesting to say, dear?" Leandra asks with a knowing smile.

"Yes," she replies with a grin before creasing her brow in concern, "he worried me a bit, though, with some news of the Knight-Commander's recent actions against one of the mage apprentices. She accused the boy of using blood magic and forced him to take his Harrowing too soon, and it ended with the boy failing and being slain. Orsino is worried that things are only going to get worse." Hawke sighs again before continuing on, "on a brighter note... he also said that if we can ever find a way to meet regularly, that we could learn a lot from each other. He would like me to help him improve his healing skills and he offered to help me improve in the elemental arts. I think I would enjoy that. I am trying to think of a way for us to meet safely, but so far nothing has occurred to me."

Hawke sighs once more and then raises an eyebrow at the contemplating look on her mother's face, "What is it, Mama?"

"I do not know how you will arrange future meetings, but I may be able to help you get a little time to speak to him."

Leandra smiles at the hopeful and curious look on her daughter's face, "I will send a letter to the First Enchanter with an official invitation to join us for lunch when Carver comes next week. I'll also send one to Carver letting him know that I sent the invitation. They should allow it since he will be accompanied by a templar, even if he is just an initiate, the First Enchanter position is usually trusted more than the other mages in the Circle."

"I would like that very much Mama, but are you sure you're okay with having him here? I know you've had your reservations about the First Enchanter."

"I believe if he intended to turn you in, he would have already done so. I also recognize the look in your eyes whenever he is in your thoughts. It is obvious that you are interested in him and I would like to give you the opportunity to see how much so. I don't particularly encourage you to follow in my footsteps, but I know first hand that it is nearly impossible to deny what your heart wants."

"I'm not sure if that's what this is really. I am curious, yes, perhaps even intrigued, but I have only had the luxury of spending a few moments with him. Plus, he is bound to be nearly twice my age if not more... not that you would know it by looking at him - elves age very well after all", Hawke muses. "Oh who am I kidding... each day I find that he is on my thoughts more and more. He has admitted that he thinks of me often as well, and in this letter he wrote a word that I assume is probably elven. I should to go see Merrill and find out what it means."

Leandra laughs lightly at her daughter's rambling, "I may not fully approve of your attraction, but I must admit I have never seen you like this before. You do so much for everyone else, but you rarely ever do anything for yourself. You deserve to be happy, dear, and if he makes you so, I will support you."

"Thank you, Mama, that really means a lot to me. Growing up as we did I never allowed anyone outside of the family to get close. Over the last year I have made a few friends that I have come to trust and rely on, but Orsino is the only person I have ever had these feelings for... I think I will go visit Merrill and then write another letter to Orsino. Let me know when you receive word of whether he will be able to come or not. I will greatly enjoy seeing them both next week," Hawke said with a grin.

"I will, dear, and please be careful visiting Merrill. She is a very sweet girl, but she is dangerous."

Hawke frowns at her mother, "I'm guessing you have overheard me and Anders speaking about her... she would never hurt anyone intentionally, but I have yet to convince her that the road she is traveling is going to cause someone she cares about to get hurt one day. Anyway, I will be careful. I'll be back in a few hours."

Hawke stands, leans over to kiss her mother's cheek and heads out into the city towards Lowtown.

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><p>"Hawke! What a pleasant surprise! Do you need me for something, or did you just come by to visit? I haven't seen you since before you left for the Deep Roads and I wasn't sure if you would come by or if should come see you - but I heard that you moved and I would probably get lost in Hightown trying to find you and... I'm rambling again, sorry."<p>

Hawke chuckles as she replies, "It's okay Merrill, I came by to see how you are doing and I was also wondering if you would perhaps teach me a few words in the elven language."

"Of course, Hawke, I'd love to. Is there anything in particular you would like to learn?"

"Well first, can you tell me what emm'asha means? I'm not even sure if I pronounced it right..."

"You pronounced it perfectly, and it means 'my girl'." Noticing the grin on Hawke's face Merrill asks, "May I ask _why_ you wish to learn the language of my people?"

"I think I am being... courted, by an elven man. That word was written in a letter he sent me and I wanted to know what it meant. I also thought that I might surprise him by learning a few words without having to ask him to translate for me."

"Oh! Is he Dalish?"

"No, but he obviously knows at least some elvish."

"I see. What would you like me to teach you?"

"I suppose, for now, just a few terms of endearment... I'm not sure how serious he is about me, but I realized today that I am interested in seeing where this will lead. I would even go as far as to say that I care for him, but Merrill, I beg of you not to mention this to anyone else. I would prefer to tell people myself when I am ready."

"Of course, Hawke, though I am rather curious as to who this mysterious man is."

"It is no one you know, Merrill. I'll tell you what though, if things progress to anything serious you will be the first I tell."

"Okay Hawke, "Merrill says with a grin, "let's get started."


	4. Somewhere In Between

Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p

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><p>AN - I am fairly new at writing fanfiction and this is the first story I have decided to post for others to read. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome. I hope you all enjoy.

_I can't be  
>Losing sleep over this<br>No I can't  
>And now I can not stop pacing<br>Give me a few hours  
>I'll have this all sorted out<br>If my mind would just stop racing_

~*~_ Somewhere In Between - Lifehouse_

Summary: This story begins just after the end of Act I in the Dragon Age 2 plot. Hawke visits the Chantry after her return from the Deep Roads expedition. During her visit she fortuitously encounters an intriguing resident of Kirkwall that quickly turns into more than just an acquaintance. _Rated M for future chapters._

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><p>A knock at the door draws Orsino's attention away from his work. "Come in.", he groans, expecting yet another visit from the Knight-Commander. He is pleasantly surprised, however, to see the Guard Captain enter his office and close the door.<p>

"Aveline? I apologize if I sounded rude, the Knight-Commander has been harassing me this morning. What brings you here today?"

"Another letter from our mutual friend. She seemed... different today. I'm not sure if it was the letter, or something else, but whatever it is, it's a good change."

"What do you mean by _different_, exactly?"

"She looked... happy. Truly happy. I have never seen her that way before. I can't help but to wonder if you have something to do with that. I still don't know what you two are talking about, and I will not ask. If she wishes to tell me she will do so, but I will say that if what I saw has something to do with you... just don't do anything to take it away from her. She has suffered much and she deserves whatever happiness she can find."

"Thank you, Aveline. I know very little of her past, I have not wanted to ask her anything that might bring up painful memories. I will admit, even though we only met a few weeks ago, I find that I have come to care for her. You can be assured that I will never intentionally do anything that might cause her pain."

"I can tell you a few things about her if you'd like, she might kill me for it later, but it might help you to know which subjects are likely to be touchy."

"I would appreciate that very much. Please, have a seat, " Orsino says as he gestures to the chair at the other side of his desk.

Aveline settles into the chair considering where to begin and takes a deep breath, "Let's see... her father, Malcolm, was a mage here in the Kirkwall circle, but he escaped with the help of a templar. He and Leandra eloped and fled to Fereldan, constantly moving to avoid being captured by templars. They had three children, Hawke is the oldest and Carver and Bethany were twins. Hawke and Bethany both inherited their father's magical talent and he trained them both. He died three years before they fled from the Blight. My husband and I met the family while fleeing the destruction of Lothering. My husband was injured and we decided it would best if we all fought together to escape. Bethany was killed by an ogre and I lost my husband to the taint... we all almost died that day. We were completely surrounded by darkspawn and things looked grim, I suppose the Maker, however, had other plans for us. We were rescued by a high dragon that soon revealed itself to be a witch from the nearby swamp. She helped us reach Gwaren after Hawke agreed to do a favor for her once we reached Kirkwall. The Amell family once held an estate here in Kirkwall, but Gamlen Amell gambled away the fortune and estate that was left to Hawke's mother. Hawke and Carver were sold into indentured servitude to the Red Iron Mercenaries for a year to cover the cost of our entrance into the city. I suppose that's pretty much it since you already know what Carver did while she was in the Deep Roads."

"So her father died before they fled and she lost her sister to the darkspawn horde... who is this witch you mentioned, is it the same one that supposedly saved the Hero and her fellow Grey Warden? What favor did she ask of Hawke?"

"It is the same witch... in Fereldan she is known as Flemeth – the 'Witch of the Wilds', an old Chasind legend - the Dalish call her Asha'bellanar. I was not with Hawke when she went to Sundermount, but from what I was told she had to carry an amulet to an alter high on the mountain. A Dalish joined her in this task to perform some kind of ancient ritual for the dead, and the witch arose from the amulet. Hawke didn't seem to completely understand what had happened herself, she only knew that she carried 'a piece' of the witch in the amulet and brought it here."

"She is not an ordinary mage, to be sure. I have never seen such magic in my time. Thank you for the information Aveline. You have provided many answers to questions I have yet dared to ask."

"She does not trust many people Orsino, but she trusts you... I just hope that you see the value of that trust." Aveline stands and walks to the door, "I should return to the barracks. Have a nice day, First Enchanter", and she exits, closing the door behind her.

Orsino stares at the door, Aveline's words streaming through his thoughts. With a sigh and a shake of his head he peels the letter open and begins to read.

_Orsino,_

_I hope this letter finds you well, or at least allows you a moment of peace._ _My mother tells me that you will be joining Carver when he visit in a few days. I am overjoyed by the news and a bit restless - the days can not pass by fast enough. I yearn to see your face again... to hear your voice. I know that we have only known each other a short amount of time, but I find that I am beginning to care for you in a way that I have never experienced before._

_I find the news of Meredith's actions to be quite disturbing. Is the Knight-Captain aware of what she has done? He seems to be an honorable man that truly understands his purpose as a templar, whereas Meredith seems to forget (or ignores) that she is supposed to protect mages just as equally as she is to protect others from them. I have had the privilege of meeting several templars in Kirkwall that genuinely care for the mages under their protection and I find it hard to believe that they would not speak out against such cruelty. I can only hope that they will stand against her if things get worse. I fear for your safety in the Circle as much a you worry about mine outside of it. Especially since you have to deal with Meredith so closely and on a daily basis. _

_I'm afraid I have to end this letter here. Aveline has offered to deliver if for me and she needs to leave now, so I will leave you with these words... Dareth emma vhenan, and I shall see you soon._

_Emma na,_

_Zalandra Hawke_

Orsino smiles as he folds the letter and places it in his robe and he replays her last words through his mind... _Be safe my heart, and I shall see you soon. I am yours, Zalandra Hawke._ With a sigh he mutters aloud, "Whatever this is, it has definitely evolved past a simple friendship."


	5. Whenever You Call

Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p

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><p>AN – Sorry this chapter has taken a bit to finish. I have been working on re-writing the first four chapters to add more details and background to Hawke's character. I hope to have the re-written chapters up by next weekend as well as chapter 6. Also, I apologize for changing to past tense this chapter, it's just easier for me to write. I don't currently have a beta reader, so please pardon any mistakes I may have missed. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome.

Dalish translations:

Emm'asha – My girl  
>Emm'arla – I am home<br>Emma na – I am yours  
>Emma vhenan – My heart<br>Dareth – Be safe

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><p><em>Love wandered inside<br>Stronger than you, stronger than I  
>And now that it has begun<br>We cannot turn back, we can only turn into one_

_And I will breathe for you each day  
>Comfort you through all the pain, gently kiss your fears away<br>You can turn to me and cry  
>Always understand that I, give you all I am inside<em>

~*~_ Whenever You __Call__ – Mariah Carey_

Hawke stared at her reflection in the full-length mirror in her bedroom. The soft silk material of the dress conformed to her curves in a pleasing manner and the beautiful emerald color perfectly accented her radiant green eyes and pale skin. The front sections of her long red hair were braided and pinned back, allowing the bulk of it to hang freely. The flat slippers she wore were an exact match to the color of the dress and she found them to be quite comfortable, despite feeling so different from the boots she was accustomed to. "Thank the Maker that Mama has such good and sensible taste" she proclaimed aloud to the mirror.

Satisfied with her appearance, Hawke stepped back from the mirror and exited her room. She descended the stairs one by one and was greeted at the bottom by her mother's delightful smile.

"You look stunning, darling. Do you like the dress?"

"Yes Mama, it's perfect," Hawke replied, returning her mother's smile.

"I'm glad you approve. I just knew that color would look wonderful on you."

"And I am glad that you are so good at picking out things that don't make me feel awkward."

Leandra laughs lightly, "Yes well, I still remember some of the hideous things your grandmother used to force me to wear. I try my best to choose things for you that are simple and comfortable, yet beautiful..."

Both mother and daughter turned at the sound of a knock on the front door. Leandra noticed a sudden, but brief, tension in her daughters shoulders before she relaxed once more, "Shall we go greet out guests, Mama?"

Leandra nodded and rubbed her hand reassuringly across the back of her daughters shoulders as they walked through the estate. She still recalled that excited, yet nervous, feeling all too well and to see it in her daughter, even if only for a moment, made her smile.

As they entered the foyer, Hawke's stomach flipped as her eyes fell on Orsino. He looked just as she had remembered and she couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips when she noticed how his eyes widened slightly at the sight of her -a small smile forming on his own lips.

"Orsino, thank you for joining us. I am delighted to see you again." Hawke said as she placed her hand in the one he extended to her.

"I am pleased to be here, my dear, and you look positively enchanting.", he replied and brushed a kiss along her knuckles. Hawke felt her cheeks blush -just as they had done that day in the Chantry- and she once again ducked her head slightly in an attempt to hide it.

Hawke's attention was quickly pulled to their second guest at the sound of him clearing his throat. She grinned up at her brother, "Hello Ser Carver... Will the big scary templar strike me down if I attempt to hug him?"

"Of course not, Sister", he replied with a smile, "come here."

Hawke wrapped her arms around Carver's neck and placed a quick peck on his cheek, "You look well brother... it's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too.", he replied. As he took a step back, Carver looked at their mother, "Mother, this is First Enchanter Orsino... First Enchanter, this is our mother Leandra Amell Hawke."

"It's a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, First Enchanter, and please just call me Leandra."

"It is an honor to meet you as well, Leandra. I would also prefer if you all just call me Orsino. Titles have no place in such a setting." Orsino replied.

"Very well, Orsino.", Leandra replied with a slight bow of her head. "Carver would you walk with me to the dining hall? I'd like to hear about your week." Carver nodded his head in response as he offered his arm to his mother and the two walked side by side out of the entrance hall.

Hawke's attention returned to Orsino as soon as they were alone, "I'm glad you're here. I was afraid that the Knight-Commander would not allow you to attend."

"She was rather curious about the invitation when I told her about it, but your brother must have said something to placate her concerns."

"I shall have to thank him then for the chance to see you, even if it is only for a brief meal."

"I will have to thank him as well... and I must say again how lovely you look today - even more captivating than the day we met.", Orsino said as he extended his arm to Hawke.

"You are quite the charmer, Orsino.", she replied as she intertwined her arm in his, hoping that he wouldn't notice the slight nervous tremble of her hand.

Orsino chuckled fondly as patted the hand she had rested on his arm, "I can say the same of you, my dear. I'm not sure what you think you see in me, though. I'm sure your younger mage friend would suit you better than I."

"You give yourself too little credit, First Enchanter. You are an intelligent, charismatic, caring, and attractive man who is too humble to admit any of those things, even to himself. You also have the most beautiful, expressive eyes I have ever seen."

Orsino stared at Hawke for a long moment before finally rediscovering his voice, "Thank you, my dear. No one has ever spoken such kind words to me before."

"I only speak the truth, Orsino.", Hawke said as she began leading him through the estate. When they arrived in the dining room Orsino stepped around her and pulled out the chair across from Leandra and motioned for Hawke to take a seat. Once she was seated comfortably Orsino took the seat to her left. Carver fixed Orsino with a somewhat threatening stare as he seated himself across from the mage. He knew that the First Enchanter had been talking to his sister, but he did not like how close the two seemed to be today.

"What have you been up to, Sister? Varric sent me a letter a few days ago and he mentioned that he hadn't seen you in a couple of weeks."

"I've been spending most of my time helping Mama get the estate settled. Aveline came by this morning and said that everyone was getting together at the Hanged Man tonight for Wicked Grace, I told her I would come join them for a bit."

"Have you seen that Dalish girl lately?", Carver asked with a frown. He knew that Hawke had been torn with what to do with the elf when they had met her, but of course she kept her word and brought her to the city. He also knew his sister well enough to know that she would continue to watch over the naive and stubborn mage.

"The Dalish girl's _name_ is Merrill... and yes, I saw her a few days ago. She's having a hard time getting used to living in the city. I think Varric and I are the only visitors she ever has. Anders and Fenris won't have anything to do with her..."

"You shouldn't either", he grumbled, "Anders is already more trouble than you need."

"_Carver",_ Hawke said with a warning tone, "I may not agree with Merrill's methods, or all the choices Anders has made, but they are both good people. I really don't want to have this argument, especially not in front of our guest."

"Okay if you don't want to talk about _that_... what is going on between you and the First Enchanter?", Carver asked with a scowl and a glare at the elven mage.

Hawke sighed and frowned at her brother, "Carver, I know you are just trying to be 'protective' and I do appreciate your concern, but _that's_ not really any of your business."

"You are my _sister_ and he is the First Enchanter of the _Circle_, which we spent our entire lives trying to keep you out of, so _yes,_ it _is_ my business", Carver replied with a stern tone.

Deciding to try to stop an argument that Hawke obviously did not want to have, Orsino attempted to calm the fire before it grew,"I understand your concern, Carver, but I assure you that I am no threat to your sister's freedom. She can do much more good for this city if she is not locked up in the Gallows. I have been -and will continue- doing all in my power to keep the Knight-Commander from knowing of her presence in the city."

"I'm glad to hear that Orsino, but you'll excuse me if I don't find your reassurance comforting. I still want my question answered and if one of you doesn't answer it now, I will ensure that you answer it later when my mother and sister are not there to keep me calm."

Hawke pressed her fingers to her temples, but Orsino brushed her hands away and replaced them with his own. Soon she felt the familiar sensation of healing magic washing over her and all traces of the oncoming headache disappeared. "Thank you, Orsino" she said quietly.

Hawke couldn't believe that her brother had just threatened Orsino in such a way and she felt her anger beginning to rise. "Carver, there is very little to tell.", she said calmly, "Orsino and I met -purely by chance- at the Chantry about a month ago. It was about two weeks later that he met you and asked you to get a letter to me. We have exchanged a few letters since then, but this is the first time we have seen each other since that initial meeting."

"I am aware that the two of you have only been sending letters, but it is fairly obvious that there is something more going on than just two mages talking secretively to avoid the templars..."

"Maker's breath, Carver. Your sister is not foolish, and she is not a child. Please let her be." Leandra interjected.

"Mother I'm surprised at you... that you would allow - whatever this is - to continue, and under your own roof no less."

"Oh for Andraste's sake, Carver," Hawke grumbled. "Though I still do not see how my personal life is any of your business... I care for him. _Yes_, Mama is aware of my feelings. _No_, she doesn't approve, but she also understands and _accepts_ it, and you could at least try to show the same courtesy" Hawke's voice was steadily raising as she continued, "You know very well that I have never allowed myself to get close to anyone. I deserve the happiness that he brings me. It's the very least I deserve, as a matter of fact, and it would be nice if you didn't try to ruin it for me..." Hawke trailed off as she realized she was near screaming. After regaining her calm she stood from her chair, "If you will please excuse me... I'll be back in a few minutes," and she swiftly exited the room.

Carver stared at her empty chair for a long moment before he sighed, "I'm sorry, Mother. I shouldn't have...", he shook his head, "I'll go talk to her." After standing from his chair he turned his gaze to the elf, "Orsino, I don't approve, but it is not my choice to make... she is right, if you make her happy I will learn to _accept_ it, but Maker help you if you break her heart..." He continued to stare at the mage a moment longer -to ensure the elf knew that his threat was utterly sincere- before heading out of the room in search of Hawke.

He found her a few minutes later in her bedroom standing in front of the fireplace, "May I come in, Sister?", he asked gently. Hawke's only response was a nod as she continued to frown at the fire.

Carver approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her and he felt her stiffen in his embrace. "I'm sorry... You have had it harder than any of us since Father...", he sighed, "You have done so much for Mother and myself -as well as your friends- and you never once asked for anything in return. You never complained, or hesitated, or questioned, and you've always just done what you thought was right. You deserve to be happy and if Orsino brings you that happiness, I will _accept_ it... that doesn't mean I have to like it though."

Hawke chuckled lightly and relaxed in her brother's arms, "No, you don't have to like it... but it is my choice to make, not yours. I've never felt this way about anyone, Carver, and I'm not going to ignore these feelings just because it is dangerous. I know that it will probably end horribly, but I have to try, I have to see this through to whatever end fate has in store."

"I will do what I can to help, even if it's just continuing to pass along letters - but I beg of you to continue being cautious. Don't let your feelings cloud your judgment and put you in unneeded danger."

"I won't.", she replied as she turned around and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, "I love you, and thank you."

"I love you too, Sister... Come on, let's go eat." Carver extended his arm to Hawke and escorted her back to the dining hall. Upon their return, Orsino stood and pulled out her chair and once again made sure she was seated comfortably before returning to his seat. "Thank you, Orsino", she said quietly.

"You're welcome, my dear."

Hawke glanced at Carver -who now looked much calmer- before looking to her mother and smiling slightly. It was only a moment later that Bodahn appeared with the food and she thanked him before he disappeared once more. The four ate their meal and carried easy conversation about Kirkwall and events going on within. The Hawke's discussed the differences of living in the city compared to the small farm town of Lothering, and Orsino shared some of the more pleasant experiences he has had as First Enchanter of the Circle.

Once they all finished eating Leandra stood from the table and looked to her son, "How long do you two have before you have to return, Carver?"

"The Knight-Commander told me to be sure to have the First Enchanter back by dusk, so we still have a few hours before we must leave."

"She must have been feeling unusually generous this morning...", Orsino muttered mostly to himself.

"What can I say", Carver replied, "I have a way with people."

Hawke chuckled. "Yes, if you count your uncanny ability to infuriate people as a _way_.", she teased.

"Hey! I got _him_ here didn't I?", he said pointing at Orsino, "She flat out refused at first, but I got him away for half the day... you should be thanking me," Carver argued playfully.

Hawke continued to smile as she replied to her brother's playful grumbling, "You're right brother, I'm sorry. Thank you very much for convincing the Knight-Commander to let him come with you."

"I should thank you as well.", Orsino said, "The meal was lovely, and I have enjoyed the time away... not to mention the company here is much more pleasant."

Leandra placed a hand on her son's arm to get his attention, "Carver, why don't we go to the study and allow these two to have a little time to themselves before the First Enchanter has to return." Carver opened his mouth to object, but noticing his sister's pleading look he conceded with a nod.

As she was left alone with Orsino once more, Hawke felt nervous. Not only had she never had these feelings for anyone before, but she had never felt this nervous around anyone before. She had been extremely confident and forward about her feelings in the last letter she sent him, but now that he was here -not really knowing if he felt the same way or not- she found herself unsure and somewhat hesitant.

Orsino must have noticed her conflict because he stepped forward and offered his arm to her once again, "Would you be willing to show me the garden that you mentioned in one of your letters? It's not often that I get the opportunity to see nature's beauty and I wouldn't mind the fresh air."

"I'd love to.", she replied as she took his arm and led him through the estate to the back door.

Closing the door behind them, Hawke took her time leading Orsino through the garden. Following the stone pathway, Orsino would stop occasionally to take in the view. Each side of the garden was lined with rose bushes of varying colors. In the center was a very small pond circled by a colorful assortment of various types of flowers. Just on the other side of the pond stood a descent sized willow tree and a bench sitting beneath it. He also spotted a small herb garden growing in one corner of the garden which consisted of mostly elfroot from what he could see.

Orsino guided Hawke towards the bench -ducking slightly under the edge of the tree- before sitting down and pulling her down next to him. Neither of them spoke for some time, but Hawke had now had enough time to reflect on her reaction to her brother's incessant prodding that she was embarrassed. Staring at the ground she spoke softly, "I should apologize to you for my outburst earlier. I don't generally lose my temper that easily."

"There is no need to apologize to me, my dear. If I had not made my attention to you so noticeable, your brother probably would not have said anything."

"No, Orsino. He needed to know the truth... I just didn't expect him to be so rude about it, and when he threatened you, I..."

"Hush emm'asha. You have several people that care for you and only wish for your continued safety. I do not begrudge your brother, or anyone else, for that. In fact, having people threaten me and my intentions, has become somewhat of a common occurrence.", he chuckled.

"Who else... _Aveline._", Hawke groaned with a shake of her head and a grin.

Orsino's smile faded a bit as he remembered the last conversation he had with the Guard Captain, "Hawke..."

"Zalandra...", she corrected and looked up at him. As soon as her eyes met his, he lost his train of thought. Even in the shade of the tree the sunlight seemed to make her eyes glitter. His hand slowly raised to cup the side of her face, and he suddenly found himself dangerously close to her. Hawke stared back in to his eyes as she realized how close Orsino had gotten. A slight tilt of her head would close the distance between their lips, but she noticed how he hovered - saw the uncertainty in his eyes. She lifted a hand and gently touched the side of his face. "Why do you hesitate?", she asked softly.

"This is very unwise, my dear. It is too much of a risk to your already limited safety."

"Perhaps... but the risk is mine to bear. Will you not allow me to choose whether it is one I am willing to take?"

Orsino cleared his suddenly dry throat, but before he was able to respond Hawke gently brushed her lips across his, causing him to sigh in protest. "You are intentionally making this more difficult.", he groaned.

"I'm sorry.", she whispered as she brushed his lips again.

A quiet chuckle escaped Orsino at her false apology, "You are not."

"No... I'm not." Hawke replied and smiled against his lips as she slid her free arm over his shoulder and her breath caught as Orsino's other hand came to rest on the back of her neck.

"Are you absolutely certain you wish to pursue this?", he asked quietly.

"I am.", Hawke whispered and she felt Orsino relax as he pulled her closer, his lips pressing more firmly to hers. Slowly she parted her lips in a silent invitation that he eagerly accepted, causing both to moan quietly in delight as their tongues met. The kiss was soft and deliberate as they explored, and enjoyed the taste of the other. Hawke felt her bones turning to jelly as she melted into his tightening embrace. Several minutes passed before they reluctantly broke the kiss, each still clinging to the other, not wanting to let go.

"I fear that this will only end in heartache... but I will see this through -to whatever end- if it is truly what you wish.", Orsino acquiesced.

"I've spent my entire life running in fear from templars, Orsino. This... Y_ou", _she corrected, "are the only thing I have ever desired for myself. I want to _live_ my life and -if you care for me as I have come to care for you - I want you to be a part of it."

Orsino closed his eyes and placed another gentle kiss on Hawke's lips, "We must remain cautious, emm'asha, but I do care for you deeply. I will not deny you my affection when you so readily give me yours."

"Emma na, Orsino... I am yours.", she whispered softly into his ear. Her breath across his ear caused Orsino to shiver slightly and a devious grin spread on her lips. Hawke gently ran a finger along the edge of his ear and he sucked in a sharp breath as she reached the pointed tip. Smiling to herself once again, she moved her other hand to his opposite ear and drew him into a deep kiss as she continued running feathery touches along his ears. Orsino groaned into her mouth and his grip tightened around her. When she broke the kiss, she rested her forehead against his, "I take it these alluring pointed ears of yours are sensitive?"

"Notice that did you?", Orsino chuckled softly before releasing a soft sigh. "I am still trying to think of a way for us to see each other safely beyond today. There is a secret passage that leads into my private chambers, but you would still have to come to the Gallows courtyard in order for me to take you through it."

Hawke pulled back a bit further, grabbing his hands in hers and resting them in her lap. "I may know a way...", she said tentatively. "I've been doing some research on an old tome I found in the cellar of the estate. It contains a lot of old magic that is not widely known of."

Orsino lifted an eyebrow and looked at her curiously. Noticing his interest, Hawke continued, "The one that may help us see each other is a form of teleportation. It seems straight forward enough, place a rune at the selected destination and bind yourself to it. Then you can use a spell to teleport there at any time. You can also be bound to more than one place so you can quickly travel between your binding points."

"What do you have to do to bind yourself to the rune?" Orsino asked.

Hawke shifted uneasily, "That's the part I would like your help with. The rune has to be _on_ the mage as well. There is a spell that has be cast to... _brand _the rune into the mages flesh. I'm not bothered by the thought, I'd just prefer not having to do it alone. Once that part is done, it's just a simple binding spell that has to be cast inside the rune you wish to bind to."

Orsino contemplated her words for a moment before finally responding, "If you are sure this is something you want to do, I will watch over you as you cast the spell. I don't much like the idea of you doing something like that without having a healer nearby anyhow."

Hawke nodded and squeezed his hands, "Thank you. Shall we go up to my room where the book is?"

Orsino nodded and stood, pulling her up after him. The two walked hand in hand through the garden and re-entered the estate. Once inside, they quietly made their way up the stairs and into her bedroom where she quickly closed the door behind them and locked it. "I also found a spell that forms a ten foot globe of silence. I wasn't sure how painful this might be..."

Orsino grabbed grabbed her shoulders to turn her around and pulled her into a kiss. "I am here and will do everything I can to ease any pain you bear.", he said against her lips.

"I'm not afraid of a little pain, Orsino, but thank you.", she said with a smile.

Hawke withdrew from his embrace and walked over to the chest she had stored the book in. Orsino watched as she placed her hand on the top of the chest. A blue glow surrounded her hand as she whispered, "Emm'arla", and the chest popped open. Hawke grabbed the book and walked toward the bed, noticing the look of surprise on Orsino's face she grinned, "Found that in this book as well."

He was not completely surprised by the magical ward -the same sort of magic protects the secret passage to his bed chamber-, what surprised him was that it is ancient elven magic. "Do you read and speak elven?", he asked.

She looked up at him and grinned, blushing slightly, and shook her head. "I only know a little bit, of which I learned after your second letter. I didn't want to have to ask you what the word meant, so I had some help."

"Once again you prove how resourceful you are, my dear.", he replied with a smile.

Hawke flipped through the book until she found the page she was looking for. The rune would have to be put in a place that would not be seen by others which meant she would have to expose more skin than was strictly appropriate. She chuckled softly to herself at the thought and felt her cheeks blush once more. "What's so funny?", Orsino asked softly in her ear. She had not realized that he had moved so close and the feel of his warm breath caused the hair on the back of neck to stand on end.

"I do not want the rune to be visible, so I will have to partially... undress.", she replied quietly.

"I will turn away then so you have some privacy...", he began.

"That's not necessary. I asked you to be here because I trust you.", she said as she unzipped the back of her dress just low enough that the top portion could hang loosely. She felt Orsino's hands hesitantly slide up her exposed back, up over her shoulders and continued down her arms, pushing the dress down as he went. She sighed at the feel of his gentle touch, but kept her mind on the task at hand, it was too soon to allow this to turn into something intimate.

Hawke took a deep breath and released it to clear her mind. Closing her eyes she reached out to the fade, summoning the silencing spell. Once it was in place she looked over her shoulder at Orsino, "The silence spell is active." Orsino nodded, "Go ahead when you are ready, my dear." She nodded in response and leaned back a bit to place a gentle kiss to his lips before turning back to the book. Confident that she was prepared she closed her eyes and reached out to the fade once more. She placed the palm of her right hand in the center of her chest just below her breasts and summoned the spell.

The hand on her chest began to glow bright red. She could feel a warmth growing under her palm that rapidly grew in intensity. After several moments the intensity grew to an oppressive burn and she felt tears welling in her eyes, then suddenly the glow was gone and so was the burning sensation. She slowly pulled her hand away and looked down, there was nothing there. "I... don't think it worked." she she said softly. "I could feel the burn and then it just left and the rune isn't visible..." As soon as the words left her mouth an overwhelming pain shot through her and she fell to her knees and screamed in agony. Orsino grabbed her shoulders and lowered her down onto the floor, distress filling his features. Smoke began to rise from her chest and he looked at the spot her hand had been, he watched as the rune slowly began to burn through her flesh from the inside out. The wails and tears pouring from her ripped at Orsino's heart and he held her as tightly in his arms as he dared.

After what seemed like hours the screaming stopped abruptly and she went limp in his arms, unconscious. He reached out into the fade immediately and searched out with his healing magic to see if she sustained any other injuries. When he didn't find anything he gathered her up in his arms and sat her on her bed, leaning her limp body against him. He slid one arm at a time back into her dress and then worked it back up on her shoulders before reaching behind her -sliding her hair out the way- and then pulling the zipper back up. Once she was properly dressed he gathered her back into his arms, sat on the bed and leaned against the headboard. It weighed on his mind that she would not wake before he had to leave and he could not rightly leave her here like this. He held her close to his chest and ran his fingers through her hair, "Please wake up, my dear.", he whispered against her cheek. Several minutes later she jerked and sucked in a harsh breath, immediately throwing her arms around Orsino's neck and holding on for dear life. He continued to hold on to her, rubbing comforting circles on the small of her back. "Are you okay?", he whispered after a few minutes. She didn't give a vocal answer but she nodded and relaxed slightly. They were both silent for several more minutes before she finally spoke, "I'm so sorry, Orsino. If I had known... I would have never asked..."

"Hush emm'asha, I am grateful that I was here if the alternative was you suffering through that alone.", he replied.

Hawke released her grip and leaned back to look into Orsino's eyes. He frowned when he saw the fresh tear streaks down her face and reached up to wipe them way. As soon as he pulled his hand away she leaned in and whispered, "Thank you.", as she drew him into another passionate kiss. She jumped when something banged loudly on her door. "Sister, are you in there?", Carver called through the door.

Hawke smiled sadly at Orsino before pulling out of his arms and the two rose from the bed. She closed the book she had been using and then checked her appearance in her mirror, before walking over to the door with Orsino at her side. She unlocked it and pulled the door open. "Is it time for you to go already?", she asked Carver.

"I'm afraid so, Sister.", he replied as he glared at Orsino.

Hawke ignored his glare and just smiled back at her brother, "Very well. I'll walk you to the door." She started to walk forward but was stopped by a hand grasping her arm. "Carver if you would, we'll meet you downstairs in just a moment.", Orsino said to the retreating templar. Carver stopped at the top of the stairs and frowned, but nodded his assent and continued on his way.

Orsino leaned down and spoke softly in Hawke's ear, "I know that you said you were going to meet your friends this evening, but do you think that you could meet me later tonight? Around midnight perhaps?"

"I... would like that very much. Should I meet you in the courtyard?"

"That would be easiest, but only if you are certain you can make it there safely by yourself."

Hawke nodded her head, "I can."

"I'll meet you near the entrance from the dock then.", he said and placed a soft kiss just below her ear. Hawke nodded once more and turned to give him a gentle kiss on his lips before taking his hand in hers and leading him to the entrance hall. When they arrived at the door, Orsino brought her fingers up to kiss her knuckles, "Dareth, emma vhenan... until we meet again."

"Dareth, emma vhenan.", she said with a smile. Hawke then turned to her brother and closed the distance to give him a hug. "Take care of yourself, Carver. I hope to see you again soon."

"I will, Sister. Do try to stay out of trouble.", Carver replied as he returned the hug. Backing away he opened the door and waited for Orsino to exit before stepping outside himself. Hawke stood in the doorway and waved to them both as they headed off towards the docks. Once they were out of sight she closed the door with a sigh and returned to her room.


	6. It's My Life

Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p

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><p>AN – I had trouble writing this chapter, but it is finally done. I have also updated chapters 1 and 2. I hope to get 3 and 4 updated by the time I finish with chapter 7. Hope you all enjoy, and again i still don't have a beta reader, so I hope my grammar isn't too horrible. I'm am trying to get better at catching mistakes as I write them. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome. Thanks to all of you that have reviewed or sent me pm's since this story was posted. Yours words have been a constant encouragement for me to continue telling my story. :)

Dalish translations:

Emm'asha – My girl  
>Emma vhenan – My heart<p>

_This ain't a song for the broken-hearted  
>No silent prayer for the faith-departed<br>I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd  
>You're gonna hear my voice<br>When I shout it out loud_

_It's my life  
>It's now or never<br>I ain't gonna live forever  
>I just want to live while I'm alive<br>It's my life_

_~*~ It's My Life – Bon Jovi_

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><p>"So a contact of mine told me that you had a special guest at the estate today, Hawke.", Varric said nonchalantly over his hand of cards. Hawke laughed at her dwarven friend and placed a card down on the table. "Are you keeping tabs on me too, Varric? Do you and Aveline have nothing better to do than have people follow me around and gossip about my exploits?", she asked with an amused tone. Varric chuckled, "You know me... I like to know what's happening around the city. One of my informants just <em>happened<em> to spot an unexpected visitor leaving your estate, accompanied by a templar of all people, which I can only assume was Carver." Varric placed a card out on the table and looked at Aveline who promptly grumbled and laid her cards face down. "Yes, Carver came to the estate for lunch today.", Hawke replied.

"Are you two just going to keep talking your usual circles, or is one of you going to tell us who the guest _was_?", Anders asked crankily. Hawke's smile faded at Anders' grouchiness and she really didn't want the mage to know about the First Enchanter's visit. She wasn't concerned with what others thought about her budding relationship with Orsino, but she already knew Anders' view of the First Enchanter, and she didn't want to ruin her good mood by arguing with her friend.

Fortunately for Hawke, Isabela chose that moment to walk in the door, and she took the opportunity to change the subject. "Well there's the lovely pirate queen, herself. How are you, Isabela?", Hawke asked as she stood and pulled the pirate into a hug. Isabela returned the hug before sliding an arm around Hawke's waist and squeezing lightly. "I'm absolutely splendid, Hawke. How's the new estate in Hightown?" Hawke grinned at the pirate, "It's a nice place, but honestly, I'm just glad to be out of Gamlen's filthy hovel. If the estate had not come through when it did, I probably would have been rooming with you by now." Isabela grinned in return, and squeezed Hawke again. "Oh what a shame I missed out on the potential fun _that_ could have been.", she said with a giggle.

As the night passed, Hawke kept a close eye on the sky through a nearby window. Her short time with him today had only proved to increase the feelings she had for Orsino, and she longed to see him again. An hour to midnight Hawke decided to say good-night to her friends, and begin making her way to the Gallows. "Guys, I think that's it for me tonight.", she said as she stood from her chair. She grabbed the hooded cloak she had brought with her, and buttoned it around her neck. Digging into a pocket of her robe, she pulled out ten sovereigns and placed them on the table in front of Varric. "This should cover my drinks for the night and a little extra, Varric." Walking to the other side of the dwarf, Hawke placed a hand on the Guard Captain's shoulder, "Aveline, thanks for coming by this morning and inviting me. I've had fun tonight."

"You all have a nice night and I'll talk to you soon.", Hawke said as she walked towards the door. She waved back into the room before turning to descend the stairs to the main floor of the tavern. As she made her way across the large room she was aware that she was being followed, but she continued on until she reached the street. She already knew who it probably was, and as she turned to meet her pursuer, she found that she was not mistaken. "You don't have to leave yet if you don't want to, Fenris. I can manage on my own."

"I know that you can take care of yourself, Hawke. I just don't...", Fenris sighed and frowned slightly, "I'd feel better if you let me walk you home." Hawke smiled at the confused elf. As much as he hated mages in general, Fenris had become one of her closest friends over the past year, and he still didn't understand how he had let that happen. Tonight however, she didn't want her friend to follow her. She would tell him about Orsino soon enough, but now was not the time. "Fenris, you are a very dear friend, and I appreciate your concern, but the truth of it is, I am not heading home yet. I'm... going to meet someone.", she said quietly.

"Hawke, you shouldn't be meeting people in the middle of the night by yourself. What if it's a trap, or if you get attacked along the way?", he asked in a harsh tone. Hawke just smiled at him again and placed her hand, very gently, on his chest. His jaw tensed at her touch, but he didn't move away, and his eyes softened slightly when he looked into hers. "Are you sure you don't want me to walk with you, at least part of the way?", he asked in a calmer tone. "I'm sure.", she replied softly. "I don't expect to run into any trouble, but if I do, I'm sure I can handle it." He frowned at her again, but did not try to argue any more. He slowly brought up one hand and placed it on top of hers on his chest. "Very well, just... be careful.", he replied and squeezed her hand before stepping out of her reach.

Hawke pulled her hood over her head and pulled the long black cloak snug around her. As long as she stayed in the shadows she should be able to move through the city without being easily noticed. "I will be careful, Fenris. Good night. I'll come by and see you tomorrow." Fenris just nodded once and walked off in the direction of Hightown.

Hawke made her way through the streets of Lowtown, sticking to the shadows as much as possible. As she reached the docks and approached one of the small boats, her attention was drawn to movement in her peripheral vision. She looked to her right, and saw three bandits closing in on her, swords drawn. Two more stood behind the warriors with bows knocked and aimed in her direction. She couldn't see any more in the immediate area, but she had fought enough bandit groups to know that there would be at least one rogue sneaking around in the shadows. She pulled her staff off her back as she prepared her first spell. Ice flew from her fingertips in an arc, stopping the three warriors several feet away. She took a few steps back -listening carefully for any footsteps behind her-, summoned a stone fist, and hurled it at one of the archers. The stone slammed into the archer and he flew several feet before colliding with a wall and crumpled to the ground.

Hawke quickly tossed an ice bolt at the second archer, but he managed to dive out of the way just in time to avoid it. Next, she summoned a fireball and threw it in the center of the three warriors, which were already breaking free of the ice at their feet. One of the warriors cried out as the flames consumed him, another screamed as he ran around wildly, trying to put out the flames that were quickly spreading across the flammable bits of his clothing. The third had gotten far enough away that he was merely singed by the ball of fire, and he charged at the mage, sword held high above his head. Hawke grinned at the fast approaching warrior, bringing her staff up to intercept the overhead blow, she promptly kicked him in the chest before aiming her staff and unleashing several bolts of spirit energy into his chest. A sudden noise from behind made her jump to the side and turn her head towards the sound, giving her just enough time to freeze the rogue solid before he could attack.

As she turned back to take out the last archer, an arrow pierced through the front of her thigh. Pulling on the last reserves of her mana she entombed the archer in stone, and struggled back over to the small boat. Hawke untied the boat from the dock and stepped down in to it as gently as she was able. She groaned through her clenched teeth, at the pain shooting through her leg, as she sat down. Gathering the ores, she quickly began to paddle the boat towards the Gallows. When she reached the opposite dock, she carefully climbed out of the boat and tied it off before ducking into the shadows. She slid silently through the short hallways leading to the courtyard, stopping at the last corner to peer out into the open space. She spotted a dark corner to her left that would provide cover until Orsino arrived, and she took a deep breath. Blocking out the pain of the arrow as much as she could, she gathered her strength and sprinted across the courtyard.

When she reached the corner, Hawke collapsed against the wall, her breath ragged and strained. This was not her first battle wound, not even the first arrow she had taken, but this was the first time she had been wounded and unable to heal the wound, or at least lessen the pain. Sweat began to bead on her forehead and her vision started getting hazy. The wound was not bleeding badly, but the pain was taking a toll on her exhausted body. She heard a soft rustling nearby and she looked up to see Orsino moving across the courtyard. As he got closer, she whispered his name as loud as she dared.

Hearing his name, Orsino turned towards the shadowed corner and soon found Hawke sitting on the ground. He knelt next to her and placed a hand on the side of her face. The spot she was in was shadowed enough that he couldn't make out many details, but feeling the incredible heat of her flesh, he scrunched his eyebrows in concern. "What happened, emm'asha?", he asked softly. "Bandits", she whispered in response. She reached out for one of his hands and eased it down to her leg until it reached the arrow shaft. Orsino pulled back his hand and immediately slid his arms underneath hers to help her back to her feet. "We must hurry to my chambers so I can tend to the wound." Orsino wrapped an arm around Hawke's waist and pulled her arm up around his neck for support. Hawke used her staff, in her opposite hand, for further support as Orsino quickly led her around the next corner and into a hidden passage.

Once they had entered the hidden passage, and were out of immediate danger, Orsino bent down slightly and lifted Hawke into his arms. In general, elves were smaller than humans, but Orsino was several inches taller than Hawke and he had already picked her up once today, so he knew that he could carry her with little trouble. When they arrived in his chambers, Orsino crossed the room and laid her across his bed. Now that he was able to see the wound, he could tell that the arrow had done minimal damage, but it did not pierce through the back of her leg. Knowing what had to be done, he sat next to her on the bed and spoke softly, "I'm going to have to push the arrow the rest of the way through before I can remove it and heal the wound. Will you consent to me putting you to sleep until I am done?" Hawke tried to speak, but when nothing came forth, she simply nodded her head.

Orsino kissed her forehead before casting the sleep spell, and then left her to gather the supplies he would need. When he returned, he placed a bowl of water and a clean cloth on a nearby table as he contemplated the task before him. Her current attire, and the position of the arrow, meant he was going to have partially undress her to get to the wound. He didn't like the idea of undressing her while she was unconscious, but the logical part of his brain knew there was no choice. Taking a deep breath, he began unfastening the bottom half of her robe until it fell open to reveal the pale skin of her toned legs. Not allowing himself to be distracted by her delicate form, he lifted her wounded leg and slid several layers of cloth between the back of her leg and the material of her robe. Next, he grabbed the dagger out of the sheath on Hawke's belt and cut off the arrow's shaft, just below the fletching.

Orsino laid the dagger down and lifted her leg further, resting her foot on his shoulder, so that her thigh was at a ninety degree angle, giving him clear access to both sides of her leg. Taking another deep breath, he grabbed the shaft of the arrow and pushed until the head came out the other side. He shuddered slightly as he released his next breath, but continued on, reaching around to grab the arrow head, he pulled the shaft quickly from the wound and promptly lowered her leg. Tossing the arrow to the side, he summoned his magic and set to work on healing the wound. Several minutes passed before he finally felt the wound heal completely, her leg would be sore for a day or two, but she was in no further danger.

Leaving the bed once more, Orsino grabbed the small lyrium potion he had dropped in his pocket, and drank it's contents. He then grabbed the clean cloth on the nearby table and tossed it into the bowl he had set next to it. Using his magic, he warmed the water in the bowl to a comfortable temperature before turning back to Hawke. He repositioned her slightly, resting her foot on his shoulder again, and wrung as much water out of the cloth as he could, before cleaning the now drying blood from her leg.

After redressing her and cleaning up the area, Orsino sat down next to Hawke and dispelled the sleep spell. She awoke slowly, and he smiled down at her as her bright green eyes finally opened. Hawke frowned as she looked around and remembered how she had gotten here. "I'm sorry, Orsino. Our first day to spend any amount of time together, and I've spent most of that time in pain or unconscious.", she said as she slowly sat up. "Don't apologize, my dear. You could not have know what the spell you cast this afternoon would do, and it's no fault of yours that you were ambushed on the way here." He paused for a moment before he asked, "How many were there?"

Looking down, Hawke ran her thumb over the small hole in her robe, "There were six that I saw. Two I am sure I killed, one ran off after his clothes caught on fire. The fourth was unconscious, possibly dead. One I froze, and the archer..." she grimaced, "I encased him in stone, and got to the boat -and across to the gallows- as fast as I could. I should have just teleported back to my house when I first saw them closing in on me, but I... really wanted to see you.", she said quietly. "I thought I could take them, and I would have, if that blasted archer hadn't dodged the first spell I threw at him.", she finished with a sigh.

Orsino reached out for Hawke's hand and held it in his. "I wanted to see you too, but not at the cost of your life, or the use of your leg.", he chided lightly. "I want you to stay here and let me take care of you tomorrow. Your wound is healed, but your leg will be sore, and you won't be able to move around on it for at least a day. I will have to go to my office in the morning, but you will be safe here until I am able to return...", he raised a finger to Hawke's lips to stop the argument he knew she was about to voice, "I'm not asking.", he finished firmly, but with a small smile.

Hawke stared into Orsino's eyes for a long moment before she nodded and smiled back. He removed his finger from her lips and leaned forward to replace it with his lips. She smiled against his lips, and deepened the kiss, as she slid her arms around his neck. Bracing his weight on one hand, he wrapped the other behind her back and neck, and gently laid her back down. Several minutes passed before he finally broke the kiss, and raised up to look at her. "You are hereby bedridden, to this spot, until I say otherwise." Hawke chuckled lightly and nodded once again. "If that's what you think is best, _doctor_, I shall abide by your orders.", she replied with a sly smile. "I do...", he replied with another quick kiss, "and right now my orders are to 'get some rest'. It is late, and you are bound to be exhausted after that fight. Before I leave in the morning, I will leave you a lyrium potion on the table next to the bed ,if you..." "No... I'd prefer you to wake me before you leave... please.", she interjected. Orsino just nodded in response before reaching down to grab the blanket and pulling it up over them. He situated himself on his back and pulled her closer to him. Hawke rolled on her side and snuggled up next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Good night, my dear.", Orsino said softly as his magic snuffed out the lanterns across the room. "Good night, emma vhennan."


	7. Broken

**Disclaimer**: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p

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><p><strong>AN**: The last three chapters have taken longer to write than I had expected. I have my main plot laid out in my head, but I am trying to slowly build up to it, so please be bear with my slow updates. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcomed and appreciated.

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><p><em>The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight<em>

_Maybe it can stop tomorrow, from stealing all my time_

_I am here still waiting, though I still have my doubts_

_I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart, that's still beating_

_In the pain, there is healing_

_In your name, I find meaning_

_So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on_

_I'm barely holdin' on to you_

_~*~ Broken - Lifehouse ~*~_

Orsino woke the next morning and gradually opened his eyes. The extra weight on his chest, and the warmth at his side, was a welcomed confirmation that the previous night had not been just a dream. He smiled fondly as he looked down at Hawke's sleeping form and lightly brushed a stay lock of hair from her face.

The bun on the back of her head was still in place, though somewhat messy after the fight she had been in the previous night. Very gently he began sliding the pins out of her hair, one by one. As he pulled the last pin free, he smiled to himself for achieving his goal without disturbing her slumber. Now that it was hanging freely he began running his fingers smoothly through her long silky locks.

Orsino stopped briefly when Hawke attempted to cuddle even closer to his side. "Mm, that feels good.", she mumbled into his chest. He continued his ministrations for several minutes before he finally spoke softly. "I am going to have to get up soon."

Hawke groaned and tipped her head up to look at him. "I know. I wish you could stay here, though.", she replied as she placed a hand on the side of his face. Her thumb brushed his cheek a couple of times before she slid her fingers back, and gently down the edge of his ear.

Orsino groaned back at her, and grabbed her hand, pulled it away from his sensitive ear, and placed a kiss to her knuckles. "I wish I could too, but if I don't make an appearance, at least for a little while, the Knight-Commander will come looking for me."

Hawke frowned, but nodded her head. "And that would _not_ be good.", she said as she raised herself up, kissed him softly on the lips, and moved to the side.

Orsino sat up and looked down at her affectionately. "Once I get to my office I'm going to do what I can to get back to you as soon as possible. I intend to spend as much time with you as I can today, before you go back home." Orsino climbed off the bed and pulled the blanket back up over Hawke, placing a kiss on the top of her head as he did so. Hawke attempted to settle into the warm spot Orsino had vacated, but something was nagging at her. "Orsino?", she said as she sat up. "Yes, my dear?"

"Do you have some parchment and a quill and ink I can use?" Orsino nodded and walked over to his desk. He grabbed a thick book in one hand and placed several sheets of parchment on top of it. Then he grabbed his ink and quill in the other hand and walked back to the bed. He set the ink down on the bedside table, placed the book on Hawke's lap, and handed her the quill.

Hawke smiled at Orsino, her eyes glittering warmly. "Thank you. I'd like to write a short letter to my mother to let her know that I am okay, and that I'll see her tomorrow. Do you think you could get it out to her?". Orsino returned her smile, "I'm sure the friendly Guard Captain could make that easily possible. I'm going to get ready, I'll be back shortly."

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><p>The sound of metal-clad boots echoed loudly in Orsino's ears as he fumbled with the lock of his office door. He looked out of the corner of his eye and groaned when he spotted Knight-Commander Meredith approaching. "First Enchanter, you're later than usual this morning."<p>

Orsino squared his shoulders and turned to face Meredith. "I'm not feeling my best today, Knight-Commander.", he replied exasperatedly.

Meredith narrowed her eyes, "Watch your tone, Orsino... I received a rather interesting report this morning from one of the overnight patrols..." She paused a moment to gauge the elf's reaction, but he remained as impassive as ever, much to her annoyance. "A boat appeared at our dock last night around midnight, and no one seems to know who arrived in it. It was not a templar, so I can only assume that it was one of your mages that somehow evaded detection when they left, or it was someone who has no business being in the Gallows at that time of night."

Orsino sighed. He was really not in the mood to deal with Meredith's prodding today. "Meredith, I know nothing. I was in my private chambers before midnight and I did not leave again until fifteen minutes ago. If I hear anything, I will let you know." The Knight-Commander eyed him closely as he spoke, but she didn't see any sign to make her think he was lying. "Very well, Orsino.", she said after a brief pause.

Orsino nodded and turned back to his office door, "I have a few things that I need to take care of this morning, but when I leave my office for lunch, I may choose to stay in my chambers and try to rest if I am still feeling unwell. Unless you need me for something this afternoon?".

"Not that I know of, but if I do, I know where to find you.", she replied and stepped across the hall into her office. "Of course, Knight-Commander.", Orsino muttered as he pushed the door open and entered his own office. He walked over to his desk and opened the top drawer.

He smiled slightly when his hand reached the small box he had hidden in the back. He pulled it out and pried off the lid to study it's contents once again. Nodding to himself, he replaced the lid and dropped it into his pocket so that he would not forget it again.

Orsino walked back out of the small office, locking and closing the door behind him. He slowly made his way through the halls of the Gallows, checking in on the mages studies along the way. The final room he came to, he stopped in the doorway and leaned against it's frame.

Zak was the oldest of the apprentices and would soon be preparing for his Harrowing. Orsino had been keeping an eye on him the last several months, and he had high hopes for the boy's future. He watched as Zak complied with each of his instructor's requests, casting spell after spell, easily and with optimum control.

The Senior Enchanter spotted Orsino at the door, and gestured for him to come in. "You're doing very well, Zak. Now I want you to attempt a fire spell.", Enchanter Kalyn said softly. "Enchanter, you know that I can't...", Zak froze suddenly as Orsino walked into his view.

"Good morning, Zak. Enchanter Kalyn is correct, you are doing very well. You'll be ready for the Harrowing, very soon.", Orsino said with a smile. "What were you saying before I interrupted your thoughts?", he asked gently.

"I... I can't control fire. I prefer not to use it, and Enchanter Kalyn knows that, yet she still asks it of me each day.", Zak frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "I want to be a healer. I do not need fire for that, and I don't see why she deems it necessary to force me to use it." Orsino nodded his head in understanding. In most cases, a student at this age would not be pushed to use magic that they didn't wish to learn, but Kalyn knew, as well as he, that fire had so many practical uses, it was good to learn at least basic control over it.

"It is more a useful skill, than a necessary one, Zak. For instance..." Orsino pointed at a lantern across the room. With a small gesture of his hand, the lantern lit up, and a second gesture caused the flame to extinguish. Zak's jaw dropped at the display. He had never before seen anyone display such fine control over fire. "Fire is my specialty,", Orsino continued, "and I refined my control of it, over many years of practice. It is the skill I use more than any other, whether to light a candle, a fire in a hearth, or to warm a basin of water. Learning at least basic control of fire could very well save your life one day. That is why Kalyn pushes you to use it."

Kalyn smiled and nodded at Orsino. She knew that the First Enchanter had perfect control of fire, and had hoped that he would be able to reach Zak in a way she had not yet been able to. Zak considered the elder mages words before he finally nodded as well. "I will continue to practice, First Enchanter. I doubt I will ever master it like you have, but I will not give up on it." Orsino smiled and placed a hand on Zak's shoulder. "That's good to hear, Zak. Keep up the good work. I have no doubt that you will pass the Harrowing, and become an official mage of the Circle before you know it.". He patted Zak's shoulder once before nodding at Kalyn, and excused himself from the room.

Orsino continued on through the Gallows and out to the courtyard, greeting the mages he passed along the way. He turned a sharp corner and came to a complete stop. He was standing face to face with a very angry looking templar. "I was just coming to look for you, First Enchanter.". Orsino raised an eyebrow, but remained calm. "What did you need to speak with me about, Ser Carver?"

Carver relaxed slightly and lowered his voice so that only Orsino could hear him. "I received a letter a moment ago, informing me that my sister never made it home last night. Do you know where she is?". Orsino nodded, "I do. She was ambushed by bandits last night, and took an arrow to the leg. The wound has been tended to, she is safe, and will return home later this evening."

Carver grimaced at the mage. "She was out with her friends last night, and I know that Fenris would have insisted in walking her home when she left. If she was alone, I can only assume that you were the reason for that. It would also explain how you know what happened, and her whereabouts.", he said irately.

Orsino sighed and frowned back at the younger Hawke. "Carver, we discussed this yesterday. I mean no harm to Zalandra. What happened last night can only be blamed on the bandits that continuously plague this city. She is being cared for, she is safe, and that is all I will say about this _here_. If you wish to argue with me further, or threaten me again, you may stop by my office tomorrow. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to send a messenger to get the Guard Captain for me." Orsino stepped to the side to walk around Carver, but was stopped by a grip on his arm.

"What do you need Aveline here for?", Carver asked. Orsino sighed again and looked back to the templar. "I am in possession of a letter intended for your mother. I am going to ask Aveline to deliver it for me.". Carver's grip tightened on Orsino's arm, "She's here, isn't she?", he growled in a dangerous tone. "You said she was safe, Orsino."

Getting annoyed himself, Orsino narrowed his eyes and stepped closer to Carver. "I had hoped after yesterday that you would at least _attempt_ to accept and trust me, but I see now, that it was a foolish hope on my part. Zalandra will not be harmed while in my care, and if I thought she were in any danger, she would already be back at home. _Let go_ of my arm, Carver. I will refrain from writing you off as an enemy for the time being, but I _suggest_ you consider your sister's feelings before you approach me in such a manner again."

Carver could feel the power that Orsino was holding back in his anger. He had no wish to test his templar training against such a formidable opponent, especially one that his sister cared for. Relaxing slightly, he loosened his grip on the elf's arm. Orsino jerked his arm away, took a step back, and smoothed the wrinkles out of his robe.

"I will not apologize for my reaction, but I will try to control myself in the future. My sister has looked after me my whole life, and though I hated her at times because of what she was, I could not have asked for a more loving and honorable sibling. I will always try to protect her, but... as long as you do nothing to show me otherwise, I will accept that you are doing the same. Just be good to her, Orsino. She's had enough heartbreak in her life already.". Without waiting for a response, Carver turned the corner and disappeared through the door of the keep.

Orsino shook his head as he regained his composure. He couldn't remember ever having gotten that angry before, and he found it somewhat unsettling. Then it occurred to him that his anger had been brought on by other emotions he couldn't easily explain... his feelings for Hawke. "Plenty of time to think on that later.", he said to himself.

Shaking his head once more to clear his thoughts, he continued across the courtyard. Spotting Ser Cullen and another templar talking, Orsino approached slowly and stopped, waiting for the two to finish their conversation. "Just a moment Ser Thrask... First Enchanter do you need something?", Cullen asked politely. The more Orsino dealt with Cullen, the more he seemed to like the new templar. He at least _attempted_ to be cordial.

"Yes, Knight-Captain, I was wondering if you could send a messenger to the Guard Captain for me. I have some information regarding our previous conversation that she may find helpful in her investigation, and I would like to speak to her about it." Cullen nodded. "I'll send someone over shortly. Does this have to do with a rogue mage in the city? She didn't tell me what it was about, but since she asked for your help, I could guess."

Orsino shrugged slightly. "She did suspect a rogue mage's involvement with something. The information I have may be what she needs to discover the truth.", Orsino said passively. Internally he was laughing at the truth of his words. Aveline had suspected Hawke of being involved with himself in some way, and she was about to discover that she was right.

"I can go tell her if you'd like, Knight-Captain.", said Ser Thrask. Cullen looked to his fellow templar and nodded. "I'd appreciate the Ser Thrask. We can continue our conversation when you return." Ser Thrask nodded in return and headed off for the dock.

"Shall I tell her to come to your office when she arrives, First Enchanter?", Cullen asked. "Yes please, I should return. I have some paperwork to take care of. Thank you, Knight-Captain.", Orsino concluded.

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><p>Aveline had agreed to deliver the letter to Leandra. She had also not seemed all that surprised to learn of the growing relationship between Hawke and Orsino, either. After she had left, Orsino had finished up his paperwork, checked with Meredith once more, and now he was on his way back to his chambers.<p>

He entered the door quietly, not sure if Hawke would be awake or not, and closed it just as quietly behind him. "Welcome home.", her voice chimed softly behind him. He turned to see Hawke standing only a couple of steps away, one hand on the wall to help her keep her balance. She was smiling and looking up at him through her long lashes, a slight blush dusting her cheeks. Orsino stepped forward, pulled her arms up around his neck and circled his around her waist.

"I'm pretty sure the doctor's orders were to stay in bed, my dear.". She chuckled lightly and placed a kiss on his cheek. "He did, but I'm sure he knew that a woman so driven, such as myself, would not follow those orders without him here to enforce them.", she replied with a grin before slipping into a more serious tone. "Besides, I was slightly alarmed when I heard the door open. I didn't expect you to be back so soon and I had to make sure it was you, instead of some meddling templar poking around where they shouldn't."

Orsino leaned down and kissed her lips gently. "I wouldn't have asked you to stay... if I didn't believe... that you would be safe here...", he whispered against her lips between kisses. Hawke smiled against his lips. "I know", she replied with a kiss of her own.

"So do I have you for the rest of the day, or will you have to return later?". Orsino leaned back slightly and smiled down at her. "I am yours for the rest of the day as long as no one comes banging on my door."

He took a small step back and reached down to lift Hawke into his arms. "And you... are going to get off that leg while I prepare us some lunch.". Hawke chuckled once more and nodded her head. "As you wish, but only because you are here to keep me company."

Orsino smiled down at her in his arms. "Do you want me to put you back on the bed, or would you prefer to sit in a chair?", he asked as he carried her around the corner into the main room of his chambers. "A chair at the table, if you would. I've been laying in bed all morning.".

He carried her over to the table and pulled out a chair with his foot. He set her down in the chair and then moved behind it to push her closer to the table. "Now, would you like me to prepare a stew, or would you prefer something quicker?", he asked as he walked around the table. "Something quick and simple would be fine. I usually eat a light lunch.". Orsino nodded and wandered off to the far end of the room.

He returned to the table a few minutes later with a large plate containing pieces of different types of fruit, some sliced cheese, and some crackers. Hawke looked down at the plate before smiling back up at him, "That's perfect.". Orsino returned her smile and sat in the chair across from her.

"How was your morning?", she asked as she picked up a slice of apple. Orsino sighed. "Well, I was confronted by Meredith before I even made it in my office this morning. Apparently the templars noticed the boat you used to get to the Gallows last night around midnight, and she was trying to see if I knew anything about it."

"And what did you say?", she asked with an amused tone.

"I told her the truth. That I was in my chambers before midnight, and that I did not leave until just a few minutes before she caught me in the hallway." Hawke laughed as she considered his words. Well, he _had_ gotten her into his chambers before midnight...

The two continued to eat as Orsino finished telling her about the events of his morning. He chose not to divulge all of the details of the encounter he'd had with her brother. The problem between Carver and himself was something the two of them would work out eventually, and he didn't want Hawke putting herself in the middle of it. Instead, he just mentioned that Carver had asked about her, and he had assured the younger Hawke that she was safe.

When he finished recounting his eventful morning, the room fell into silence. Hawke had remained extremely quiet while he was talking; nodding slightly on occasion, or flashing a small smile, but Orsino noticed a withdrawn look in her eyes. "Zalandra...", he said softly, "Is something wrong?".

Hawke shook her head and gave him a sad smile. "No. I was just thinking... We know so little about each other, and I'm sure we both have questions.". She paused for a moment and Orsino saw a brief flash of pain on her face before she continued, "Aveline told me what the two of you discussed last week...".

Orsino stood from his chair and slid it around the table next to Hawke. He sat back down and clasped his hands around one of hers before resting them in his lap. Hawke smiled slightly at his movement, but continued on, "When I was a child, we moved around a lot, never staying in one place for very long. I had no friends, no... romantic interests... I had my family, and I allowed no one else to get close. My father taught Bethany and I to use and control our magic, as well as how to hide it. He was an excellent instructor, ever patient, but unyielding."

Hawke took a deep breath in an attempt to stifle the tears that were trying to build. "When he got ill... it was so sudden, and so quick... I tried desperately to heal him. I thought I could save him, but no matter how hard I tried..." The tears were falling now, and she broke eye contact with Orsino, looking down at their hands instead. "I was devastated when he died. I was 19 years old, and not only did I lose my father and closest friend that day, but it also fell to me to take care of the rest of my family."

Hawke raised her free hand to brush away her tears and took another deep breath. Orsino was barely managing to contain his own emotions. His heart was breaking seeing her so full of grief. For so many years she has buried her own pain and remained strong for her family. Now she was letting go... letting _him_ in, and he was well aware of the significance of her opening up to him.

Orsino let go of her hand, leaned forward, and wrapped his arms tightly around her. As soon as he began to pull her out of the chair, Hawke's arms instinctively reached up to push him away and her eyes shot up to his face. She expected to see pity in his eyes, but what she found was an overwhelming look of affection. She might would even explain it as look of love, if she were naive enough to think it possible this soon into their relationship. She relaxed and allowed him to pull her into his lap, and she clung to him, her eyes never leaving his.

Orsino slid one hand slowly up Hawke's arm, and over her shoulder. He stopped when he reached the back of her neck, and he pulled her forward and kissed her softly. Hawke shuddered in his arms, her lips parting slightly as she exhaled sharply. Orsino pulled her tighter to him, and the kiss quickly became more heated. Hawke moaned softly, and her hands clenched tightly to the front his robe.

He was surrounding her, filling each of her senses all at once. She felt as if he was trying to drown out all of her pain with a single passionate moment, and she allowed it. Allowed him entrance to her heart, and allowed herself to let go -losing herself in him completely.

When Orsino finally broke the kiss, he kissed Hawke gently on the cheek, before shifting her slightly, and reached for the small box in his pocket. He passed it around behind her to his other hand, and then held it up in front of her. "I got this a few days ago because it made me think of you. I had planned to give it to you yesterday when I came to your house, but I forgot about it until this morning."

Hawke's eyes widened as she saw the box, and she smiled as she raised her hands to take it from him. She gently pried off the lid, set it on the table, and pulled out the silver chain. Her jaw dropped when she saw the pendant hanging from it. It was pure silver and intricately carved in the shape of a hawk, it's wings outstretched, and a garnet colored stone was set into it's chest. Not only was it absolutely beautiful, but she could sense an enchantment on it as well. "Orsino, I... Thank you. It's gorgeous", she said softly, still staring at it in awe.

Orsino smiled as he pulled back her hair, twisted it up, and took the necklace from her, directing one of hands to hold up her hair. He unclasped the necklace and slid it around her neck before re-clasping it, and pulled her hand away so that her hair fell back over her shoulders. "It has a healing enchantment on it. Your healing will be even more potent than usual when you are wearing it.", he said before kissing her gently once more.

"Thank you, Orsino. This means more to me than I could ever express.", she replied as she placed a hand on the pendant. Orsino smiled again, "The look in your eyes, and the smile on your face, is the only thanks I need, my dear.". He paused a moment and placed a finger on his chin, as he considered something, before continuing. "Actually, there is one thing I would ask of you, but it is of course your choice..."

Hawke raised an eyebrow, but she couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. "What would you ask of me, emma vhenan?". Orsino grabbed her hand in his and placed a kiss in her open palm. "I ask that we get the rune you need drawn here in my chambers, and bind you to it, so that you can come visit me any time you want.". Hawke's eyes glittered at his request, "I'd like that.".

Orsino nodded, "Good. Did you bring your book with you?". Hawke nodded in return and pointed behind him, "It's in my pack next to your bed.". Orsino pulled her arms around his neck, then slid one arm under knees and the other behind her back, before standing up and carrying her over to the bed.

When he set her down, Hawke grabbed her pack and pulled out the book. She flipped to the correct page and pointed at the rune. "It can either be drawn manually, or it can be burned in with a spell. I used the spell for the one at home, but I'm not sure you want a rune burned into your floor.", she said with a grin.

"The spell will be fine, my dear.", he replied without much thought. "Do you want to cast it, or do you want to help me to whatever spot you'd prefer it at?", she asked. "I can cast it if you need me to. As far as the location, it does not matter. You can put it right here next to the bed if you want.". Hawke smile never left her face as she shook her head. "Not right next to the bed. I'd rather not risk giving you a heart attack by appearing from thin air right next to your bed in the middle of the night.", she finished with a chuckle.

Orsino laughed lightly in return and reached for the book. After she handed it to him, he crossed the room and set it down on the table. Returning to the bed, he held out his hand to her, "You're going to have to go over there to bind yourself to it anyhow, so might as well let you cast it as well, unless you aren't up to it.". Hawke took his hand and stood, "I'm _fine_, Orsino, other than a bit of soreness. I did make it to your door, without assistance a few hours ago, if you recall.".

The two walked across the room, and Hawke stopped a little to the left of the table -just in front of the secret entrance to his chamber. Once she was steady on her legs, she gently pushed Orsino out to arms length distance. She glanced over at the book briefly before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her arms reached out to her sides and an orange glow began to emanate around her. Orsino watched the glow spread from her feet, slowly drawing the outline of the rune on the floor. Once the design was complete, a small burst of smoke rose from the floor, and the glow disappeared completely.

Hawke opened her eyes and looked down at the rune. Nodding her head in approval, she glanced at the book once more. She mumbled a few quiet words to herself before performing a quick hand gesture. The rune on the floor began to glow again as she slowly rose about a half-foot off the floor. The rune on her chest glowed brightly for a couple of seconds before it once again extinguished, and she dropped suddenly to her feet. Orsino reached out and grabbed her shoulder to help steady her.

Hawke's eyes opened and she looked at Orsino with a smile. She took a step towards him and wrapped an arm around his neck. "It is done. I can now return at any time... Well, as long as my connection to the fade is not broken.".

Orsino's eyebrow's creased at her last words, "I suppose I would be asking for too much if I asked you to teleport here immediately if you find yourself in a situation where that might happen?". Hawke smiled softly and shook her head, "It is not too much to ask, as long as I only have myself to worry about. I would not be able do that if other's lives depended on me staying.".

"That will have to be enough then.", he conceded. "Are you going to stay a little longer and allow me to cook you dinner?".

"That depends... what did you plan to cook?", she replied with amusement. Orsino shook his head, "I'm not telling you that, my dear. You either stay and find out, or you don't. The choice is yours.". Hawke kissed the bottom of his jaw, "I had planned to stay until I was tired and ready for bed, or until you asked me to leave. So I will happily join you for dinner."

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><p>Several hours later, Hawke appeared in her bedroom and leaned heavily against the post of her bed. She sighed sadly as she looked down at the empty bed. She had truly felt safe, for the first time in nearly 5 years, wrapped in Orsino's arms the previous night. Tonight they had shared a wonderful romantic dinner, and she had not wanted to leave, but part of her was scared.<p>

She feared letting him get too close, feared having her heart broken, but most of all... she feared falling in love. Love was a dangerous thing for a mage. It gave the Chantry leverage, something the templar's could use against them, and they would not hesitate to do so if it would benefit them in some way.

She had not expected her feelings for Orsino to grow so quickly. Hawke's hand fell to the pendant hanging over her heart and she smiled sadly. "And what had this cost him?", she wondered to herself. The only gift she had ever held as dear, was the one she'd received on her 18th birthday.

Her father had carved her a staff and had paid for it to be enchanted with spirit magic. Tied to the staff had been a red scarf with her initials in one corner -knitted by her mother and also enchanted. The staff she still carried as her main weapon, and the scarf, she tied to her upper right arm each morning before she dressed.

Sighing once more, she plopped down on her bed and laid down. She would have to think of a suitable gift for the First Enchanter. Something that would mean as much to him as the one he had given her today. Something special that would remind him of her when she could not be at his side.


	8. The One

**Disclaimer**: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p

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><p><strong>AN**: This chapter is the longest I have written so far. Hope you all enjoy it.

Dalish Translations:

Emm'asha - My girl  
>Emma vhenan na - My heart is yours<br>Ma'arlath - I love you

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><p><em>No rush, though I need your touch<em>  
><em>I won't rush your heart<em>  
><em>Until you feel on solid ground<em>  
><em>Until your strength is found, girl<em>  
><em>I'll fill those canyons in your soul<em>  
><em>Like a river lead you home<em>  
><em>And I'll walk a step behind<em>  
><em>In the shadows so you shine<em>  
><em>Just ask it will be done<em>  
><em>And I will prove my love<em>  
><em>Until you're sure that I'm 'the one'<em>

_~*~ The One - Gary Allan_

Aveline shoved the door open and briskly descended the many steps that led down from the Viscount's Keep. When she reached the street, she continued across, each of her steps full of purpose. When her destination came into view, she approached the door and knocked loudly. She waited a few moments, but when no answer came, she frowned and pounded on it again. Finally, she heard the click of the lock, and the door eased open a few inches. "Who is it?," she heard quietly through the small crack. Aveline smiled and shook her head,"Wouldn't it be easier just to look and see?"

As soon as she finished speaking, the door swung open, and Hawke greeted her with a smile on the other side. "Aveline! Please, come in." The Guard Captain stepped inside, and Hawke closed the door behind her. "Do you need my help with something, or is this a social visit?" Hawke asked as she gestured for Aveline to walk with her to the sitting room. "A little of both actually. I haven't seen you in weeks, and I wanted to check on you. I also have something I'd like you to look into, if you wouldn't mind."

Hawke nodded and gestured for Aveline to sit, "Can I get you a drink?" Aveline shook her head, "No thanks, I'm still on duty." Hawke nodded again and took a seat across from her friend. "I appreciate you coming to see me, Aveline. I've missed your company. My evenings have just been... otherwise occupied the last several weeks." Aveline chuckled, "I figured as much. How is the First Enchanter?"

Hawke smiled, "He's doing well, I suppose. His position takes a lot out of him, but he handles it with grace, and he protects the mages the best he can. I think dealing with the Knight-Commander on a daily basis is the worst part. She makes his job much more difficult than it otherwise would be."

Noticing the frown on her friend's face, Hawke quickly added, "You know I agree that the templars serve a purpose, Aveline, but the more I hear about Meredith, the more I believe she's a heartless shrew." Hawke sighed and shrugged, "I suppose it doesn't really matter. It's not like I can do anything about it... at least not anything that wouldn't end with me either locked up or executed."

Aveline's frown deepened, "Hawke, I've never heard you talk like this before. Is she really that bad?". Hawke sat silent for a long moment before shaking her head, "No... at least not yet, but she seems to be getting worse as the days progress. I believe Ser Cullen would be much better suited as Knight-Commander." Aveline nodded in agreement. Even she had to admit that the Knight-Captain was the most pleasant templar she had met since arriving in Kirkwall.

"So... how are things going between you and Orsino? I didn't ask you about it before, but you've been seeing each other for several months now, and I'm curious," Aveline asked.

A hint of a blush crept on to Hawke's cheeks and she smiled shyly, "Things are... nice. I enjoy his company, and I have grown quite fond of him," she answered softly. "I tried not to allow myself to become too attached, but the last couple of weeks, it has gotten increasingly harder to leave him."

Aveline studied Hawke for a moment before giving her a knowing smile, "You're in love with him," she stated with certainty. Hawke's eyes widened and she shook her head, "I don't... at least I don't think... I'm not sure," she admitted, more to herself than to Aveline. "I've never been in love before... I've never even had a relationship before, so all if this is new to me."

"I'd be willing to bet on it, Hawke. You may not be certain of it yet, but you know deep down I'm right. At some point, something will make you to admit it to yourself, mark my words." she paused a minute or two, letting her words sink in. Aveline knew first hand how a simple gesture, a single word, or even a change of expression could be that key moment The moment you realize that the person in front of you holds your heart it their hands, and they have the power to love and cherish it, or to break it into tiny pieces.

Aveline cleared her throat and changed the subject of conversation, "You remember Emeric, the templar? He wants your help, and some sort of official sanction." Hawke creased her brow and gave the Guard Captain a questioning look, "Official sanction?"

"For his "investigation". He's convinced that every random murder in the past few years is connected, and he won't be quiet," Aveline replied exasperatedly. Hawke shifted slightly, "Do you not think it is worth investigating?"

"I have. He even convinced one of my lieutenants to raid the DuPuis mansion. Nothing there. You wouldn't believe how much ass I had to kiss after that. Bloody hobbyist constable." Aveline muttered and sighed, "Why can't he spend his declining years building a boat or something?"

Hawke chuckled lightly and shook her head, "I don't know, Aveline... I seem to recall he had some good leads when I spoke to him before. I'll go talk to him tomorrow, see what I can do. If I find anything of interest, I'll let you know."

Aveline nodded, "Thanks Hawke, I'll try not to make a habit of this."

"I don't mind, Aveline. I'm always happy to help a friend. Besides, I'm getting bored sitting around the estate during the day, I was already planning to start looking for work again." Hawke said as she stood. "Would you like to grab a drink with me this afternoon at the Hanged Man before I go see Orsino?"

"I'd love to, Hawke. I can meet you there in a couple of hours," Aveline answered, taking to her feet as well. Hawke nodded and turned to escort Aveline to the door.

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile...<em>

Orsino opened the final missive on his desk, and skimmed over it quickly. "What a surprise," he muttered bitterly, "another complaint about the templar that can't keep his hands to himself." Orsino sighed and ran a hand down his face as he rested his other arm on his desk. The 'clank' that sounded as his fingers came in contact with the wood, caused his eyes to drop down to his hand.

Orsino smiled as he looked at the ring on his right ring finger. Solid silver with the image of a hawk carved into it, wings spread. A halo of flames hovered above it's head, and an emerald colored gem was embedded in it's chest. "The color of her beautiful eyes," he thought to himself. It had been a gift from Hawke, in appreciation for the necklace he had given her, and something to remember her by, when they were apart. "Not that you ever leave my mind these days, my dear." he said to himself.

Orsino sighed once again as he grabbed the missive off of his desk, and stood. He walked the small distance of his office, opened the door, and stepped out into the hallway. Continuing across the hall, he knocked heavily on the door. When he heard the invitation to enter, Orsino took a deep breath, pushed the door open, and quickly approached the Knight-Commander's desk.

"What is it, Orsino?" Meredith asked irately. Instead of answering, Orsino placed the missive on her desk, and angrily shoved it towards her. Meredith scowled and raised an eyebrow, not bothering to look down at the parchment on her desk, "Orsino, I am not in the mood for your bitter sarcasm and insolence today, so I suggest you just tell me what you want, and get out of my office."

Orsino scowled in return and leaned forward, propping his hands on the edge of her desk. "That," he said bitingly, nodding towards the piece of parchment, "Is a complaint about one of your officers harassing one of my apprentices in a manner that is highly inappropriate, and unbecoming, of your Order. It is also the third complaint I have received (in less than two weeks, I might add) about this particular templar. Each previous time I asked you to deal with him, but it seems to me that you are either incapable or unwilling to do so. If that is the case, then I will gladly deal with him myself, and I assure you, when I am done with him, he will never think about putting his hands where they don't belong ever again." he finished with an icy tone.

Meredith's eye's narrowed and she stood, also leaning on her desk. "Are you trying to test my patience, mage?" Orsino's expression remained solid as stone, his eyes never leaving Meredith's, "The last I heard, we are _both_ responsible for the safety of the mages within this Circle, in case you have forgotten. That is what I am _trying_ to do, Meredith, and what I expect you to do as well. If I get another complaint about this templar, I _will_ take matters into my own hands."

Meredith gritted her teeth, "You are crossing a very dangerous line, Orsino."she growled. "Get out, and close the door behind you." Orsino glared at Meredith, and considered reiterating the sincerity of his words, but thought better of it. He refused to allow his animosity towards the vile woman to cause him to act in a way that might hinder his already limited personal life. So he retreated, closed the door behind him (a bit harder than necessary), and returned to his office.

* * *

><p>Hawke opened the door to the Hanged Man and took a step inside. She made her way across the tavern and slid up on to an empty bar stool next to the Captain of the Guard. Corff looked up as Hawke took her seat and smiled, "Good afternoon, Serah Hawke. Want your usual?". Hawke nodded and smiled, "Yes, Corff. Thank you."<p>

Aveline turned and regarded her friend. "Do you want to sit at our usual table?" Hawke looked over at the dark back corner, and seeing that the table was empty, she nodded. Corff set Hawke's drink in front of her, and smiled again before moving back to the other end of the bar.

"I don't see how you drink those fruity drinks, Hawke. They go down smooth, but then they come back and bite you in the ass without warning." Aveline said as they moved across the tavern. Hawke chuckled and took a sip of her drink before setting it on the table and sat down. "I don't usually drink enough for that to be a problem. Besides, I can't stomach the poison that passes for ale here, and I only drink straight liquor when I aim to get drunk, so my options are limited.", she said with a shrug.

"What have you been up to, Aveline?" Hawke asked after they were both seated. "Have things settled down any since you took over as Guard Captain?" Aveline shrugged, "Things are about the same. It's been difficult gaining the trust of the guardsmen, but most of them have come around."

Aveline and Hawke spotted a familiar elf appear through the front door, and Hawke waved him over. When he reached the table, Hawke gave him a friendly smile and patted the seat next to her, "Hello Fenris."

Fenris sat down in the chair, and nodded to each of them, "Aveline. Hawke. I was beginning to think that you didn't want to see me," he said to Hawke. "The last several times I've stopped by your estate Bodahn has told me that you were unavailable, that is until today, when he told me I'd find you here."

"I'm sorry, Fenris. I'm not avoiding you, I've been... seeing someone. I haven't been at home much in the evenings, and Bodahn doesn't know where I've been going; which is probably why he just told you I was unavailable." Fenris regarded Hawke with one eyebrow raised and responded with a simple, "I see."

Hawke shifted slightly in her seat, "Do you remember Ser Emeric?" she asked him. Fenris thought for a moment and then nodded. "Aveline has asked me to talk to him again. He's still investigating the murders of women in Kirkwall, and continues to believe that they are somehow connected. Would you like to join me? I was planning to start looking for work again anyhow, and I'd like your company."

"I will. Just come by the mansion when you need me," he said. After a brief pause he added, "Why don't you come by the mansion in the morning. I'll go with you to speak with Emeric, it is not safe for you to walk around in the Gallows by yourself, and it will also give us some time to... catch up."

Hawke nodded and fought to hide a grin, "I'll be there in the morning then." He was obviously curious about the news of her seeing someone, but Fenris would never ask such personal questions in public -which she was thankful for. Perhaps it was time to tell Fenris about her relationship with the First Enchanter. She knew that he wouldn't really approve, but he also wouldn't fight with her about it. "Unlike some people I know," she thought as Anders came to mind.

A chair sliding across the floor brought Hawke out of her thoughts, and she looked over to see Varric taking a seat next to Aveline. "What are you three up to?", the dwarf asked as he gestured to Edwina to bring him a drink. "I wasn't informed of a meeting, and it's too early in the day for card games and drunkenness, " he said with a chuckle.

"Not much, Varric. Aveline and I met up here for a drink, and Fenris found out I was here, so he came to join us," Hawke replied. The waitress approached the table a minute later and set a mug in front of Varric, "Thank you Edwina, put it on my tab, and the ladies' next round is on me, as well as the elf here, if he wants a drink."

Fenris nodded a thanks to Varric and ordered a glass of wine. Aveline ordered another bourbon, and Hawke stared at her glass for a moment before shaking her head. "I appreciate the offer Varric, but one is enough for me." Varric raised an eyebrow and grinned before looking back up at Edwina, "She'll take another as well. Corff knows what she drinks." Hawke opened her mouth to protest, but the Edwina had already turned her back, and was halfway to the bar.

"What?", Varric said with a laugh when he noticed the glare Hawke was giving him. "Two drinks won't kill you, Hawke. Besides, I haven't seen you in weeks, you can humor me by staying for one more." He was right, of course, two drinks wouldn't kill her, but Hawke was a lightweight, and she knew two drinks was pushing the 'still coherent and functional' limit. She shrugged at the dwarf and smiled, "Very well, Varric. I'll stay for one more." "At least I won't have to _walk_ to my next destination." she thought to herself.

The four sat at the table for another hour, drinking their favored drinks, and enjoying catching up. Isabela even made a brief appearance, staying just long enough to announce (very loudly) that she was on her way to the Blooming Rose, and asked Hawke to join her, causing Hawke to blush profusely as she declined. The former pirate captain just laughed loudly as she sauntered out of the tavern.

Aveline was the first to leave, and Hawke stood to leave a few minutes after. She swayed a small bit at she got to her feet, but quickly got her balance, and looked at the other two to see if they had noticed -neither had. Fenris slid out his chair, blocking her escape, and stood before pushing his chair out of her way. He extended his hand to allow her to walk ahead of him, and he followed her out to the street.

Hawke turned to look at him, but before she could open her mouth, he cut her off. "I'm not letting you walk alone this time. Not after... ", he snapped his mouth shut, and his eyes fell to the ground. Hawke's eyes widened at his words. She had not told him the truth about why she had not visited that next day. Instead she had visited the day after, and had apologized without offering a reason. He had not asked for a reason either, which she now knew was because he already knew.

"Who else knows?" she asked softly. Fenris shook his head, "No one else. When you didn't show at my house, I went to your estate and was informed that you had not made it home the previous night. I was... concerned. I went to ask Aveline to help me look for you, but she told me it wasn't necessary. I could tell that she didn't tell me everything she knew, but she told me what had happened, and that you were safe."

Hawke nodded and sighed, "I'm sorry Fenris. I should have just told you what was going on that night..."

"You don't owe me any explanations, Hawke.", Fenris cut in. "We are friends, but I have no right to pry in your personal affairs."

"Fenris, it's not prying. You are my closest and dearest friend, and the _only_ friend I can be completely honest with, and not have to worry about being judged -or in Varric's case, have an over-exaggerated story written about it..." Hawke trailed off and grew quiet. After a moment, she gestured down the street, "May I walk with you?"

Fenris nodded in acquiescence, and the two began their walk to Hightown, Hawke grabbing his shoulder occasionally along the way, to keep from stumbling. Hawke explained how she'd met Orsino in the Chantry several months ago. The letters they had written back and forth, and how Aveline had gotten involved. She told him about Orsino's visit to the estate with Carver, and their plan for her to meet him later that night in the Gallows. Then she described the events of that evening, the bandits that ambushed her, the arrow she had taken, how Orsino had tended to the wound, and how he had insisted afterward that she stay with him until the following evening, so he could take care of her.

When they arrived at the mansion, Fenris opened the door and gestured for Hawke to enter. The two walked through the foyer, climbed the stairs, and entered the room that Fenris had claimed as his own. Hawke took her usual seat, and watched as Fenris picked up several pieces of broken furniture -that he had gathered from around the mansion, no doubt- and began tossing it into the hearth.

While he was somewhat distracted, Hawke went on to tell him about the teleportation spell she learned, and how she now used to travel between her estate and Orsino's chambers. Even distracted, the mention of using magic earned her a grimace from the elf, but he did not comment.

Fenris struck a match several times, but it refused to ignite, so he tossed the match into the hearth and grabbed a new one. "So no one else knows about any of this other than Aveline?", he asked as he fought with the second uncooperative match.

"Only Mama and Carver, and I wish to keep it that way, at least for now. No one else knows about the spell, though."

Fenris looked up and gave her an understanding nod before frowning at the match in his hand. He mumbled a curse in Arcanum and it joined the first one in the hearth. The third match did not prove to be any more willing to spark, and he muttered another string of words before Hawke stood and approached him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and he jerked his head up to look at her. "One of these days, I'll have to get you to teach me Arcanum, since you tend to slip into it so often.", she said with a smile. "Will you allow me to light the fire for you?"

Fenris frowned, but nodded and moved to sit in his chair. He watched the fire come to life in Hawke's hands, and she directed the flames into the hearth. The kindling caught instantaneously, and by the time she had returned to her seat, he could already feel the inviting warmth the fire offered.

Fenris hated mages. He hated magic. But he _didn't_ hate Hawke. Hawke was different.

Different than the abomination, Anders. The man who allowed his body to become the host of a fade spirit in order to bring justice and freedom to all mages.

Different than the blood mage, Merrill. The naive Dalish elf who summoned, and requested aid from, a demon in order to recover a small piece of elven history.

Different than his former master, Danarius. A Magister of the Tevinter Imperium that branded Fenris' flesh with pure lyrium. A ritual that was so unbearably agonizing, that the former slave had no memory of his life before receiving the markings.

Hawke was kind and compassionate. She judged people by their actions, and treated them accordingly. She had never looked down on him because he was an elf, or for being a former slave. She'd never pitied him or tried to change him. She accepted him for who and what he was, and had become a friend -his only friend.

"What is Orsino like?", Fenris heard himself asking unexpectedly. He reached for the bottle of wine sitting on the table, and finding it still half full, he sat back in his chair and pulled out the cork. Hawke gave him an amused look. "What are you asking, Fenris? What is he like as an individual, or what is he like as a mage?", she asked directly, but with a light tone. Fenris took a long swig from the bottle before holding it out in offering to Hawke -who declined with a shake of her head.

"Whichever way you wish to take it.", he replied with a half smirk. Hawke chuckled lightly, propping her elbow on the arm of her chair, and resting her head in her palm. "I believe he is an honorable man, he has done nothing to make me think otherwise. My eyes and ears have remained open, looking for any sign that he is not what he seems, but the more time I spend with him, the stronger my feeling grow. I've become quite attached. More so than I initially thought I could. I do not trust people easily, but I do trust him."

Fenris studied her for a long moment before nodding slightly, "I don't either," he conceded, "I will trust in your judgment, Hawke, just as I have done with... the_ others_." he grimaced at the last word. "I do, however, hope that he is of better character than the other two you keep company with." he added.

He didn't have to say more than that for Hawke to understand his meaning. Hawke nodded and frowned slightly, "As do I," she said solemnly. "I can say, that as of last night, he was not playing host to a spirit or a demon, and he has never used blood magic. So my hopes are still high at this point." she added with a grin.

Fenris smirked and nodded once again, but said nothing more. After several silent minutes, Hawke stood, looked over at the wall where she usually leaned her staff, and frowned. "What is it?"

Hawke turned back to him and shook her head, "Nothing, I just forgot I left my staff at home when I left for the Hanged Man."

"Would you like me to walk you home so you can get it?" he asked as he reached for the cork to his wine bottle. Hawke quickly shook her head again, "No that's not necessary, but thank you. I shouldn't need it this evening." Fenris nodded and took another drink from his bottle.

"Do you still want me to come by and get you in the morning?" she asked as she walked across the room towards the stairs. "Yes, I will enjoy fighting at your side again. The mercenary work I've been picking up is getting boring.", he replied. "Where are you going? I thought you could teleport, or... something.", he added with a small gesture of his hand.

Hawke stopped and looked back at him, "I was going to wait until I got downstairs. If you haven't noticed, I try not to use magic in front of you unless it's necessary. Like when we're fighting for our lives, or bleeding all over the place, or when you start muttering curses in Arcanum because your match won't ignite...", she answered with a grin. "Actually, now that I think about it... you are usually cursing in Arcanum during the first two as well...", she added with a laugh. Fenris chuckled in return and shook his head.

"I appreciate your consideration of my hatred of all things magic, Hawke, but it is not necessary for you to avoid using it around me." Hawke stared at him for a long moment before she nodded, "Very well, then. Have a nice evening, Fenris, and I will see you in the morning." Fenris nodded and watched -with slight fascination- the bright red glow that formed around Hawke, and grew steadily brighter for a few seconds before she, and the glow, disappeared completely.

* * *

><p>Hawke paced back and forth across Orsino's room, her hands twisting together in front of her. She'd been waiting for him for nearly four hours, and the longer she waited, the more worried she became that something was wrong.<p>

"Come on, Orsino. You should have been here hours ago.", she mumbled to the empty air. He had never been this late when he knew she was going to be here. She considered going to look for him, but she knew that it would only make things worse. Orsino would be upset with her if she got herself caught and locked in the Gallows, and if they linked her to him somehow, it would endanger him just as much.

Hawke forced herself to sit on the edge of his bed, and she dropped her face into her hands. "Oh Maker, please let him be okay."

Hawke took a deep breath and reached for his pillow. Clutching it tightly to her chest, she buried her face into it, fighting the tears that were threatening to fall.

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile...<em>

Orsino stood motionless in the Harrowing chamber, his arms crossed in front of his chest, glaring bitterly at the Knight-Commander's back. Meredith had entered his office just as he was leaving for the day, and ordered him to retrieve Zak from his studies, and take him to the Harrowing chamber. He had tried to convince her to wait until morning, but she had demanded it be done tonight.

Orsino had been angry at her initial request, but now he was absolutely furious. He had retrieved Zak as Meredith had insisted, and escorted him here immediately. Upon their arrival, he had been informed that Meredith had been called to settle a dispute within her ranks, and that they were to wait for her to return. They had waited nearly two hours before she arrived.

Zak had now been in the fade for nearly twenty minutes, and Orsino knew that if he did not wake soon, Meredith would call it a failure. Orsino fidgeted with the ring on his hand, thinking of Hawke, and wondering what she must be thinking about his absence. This was the first time since they had started seeing each other that he had not been there when he was supposed to be. Was she angry with him? Had she gotten tired of waiting for him, and gone home? Was she worrying herself sick, thinking something was wrong?

Orsino was pulled from his unsettling thoughts by the sound of Meredith drawing her sword. She approached the templar that was standing over the apprentice, and stopped. She looked back at Orsino, and he thought he saw something akin to sorrow flicker across her features before she grimaced, and stepped behind Zak. Orsino's eyes grew wide and his heart sank, as she brought her sword down in front of the mage's neck, but just as she tilted his head back, Zak's eyes flew open. Orsino sighed with relief, and rushed to Zak's side to congratulate him and help him to his feet. Meredith stood to the side scowling at them both.

* * *

><p>Orsino walked hastily down the dimly lit corridor until he reached his chambers, and unlocked the door. He pushed it open quickly, stepped inside, and closed and locked it behind him. He stepped around the corner, but halted when he spotted Hawke curled up in a ball on the center of his bed.<p>

He quietly walked across the room, and carefully shifted his weight onto the bed, sliding closer until he was hovering over her. Orsino gently tugged at the pillow Hawke was holding, and she snapped awake and looked up at him. She released the pillow, and allowed him pull it away from her. Once it was out of the way, she rolled onto her back, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him down on top of her.

Orsino adjusted his position slightly, sliding his arms underneath Hawke, and pressed his lips to her neck. The last remnants of his anger faded completely at the quiet whimper the contact drew from her. He kissed a line down her neck until he reached the collar of her robe, and then slid his lips gently back up towards her jaw.

Hawke slid the fingers of one hand into Orsino hair, and tugged at it gently before guiding his lips to hers. Hawke moaned and arched into him, the fingers of her other hand sliding up to fondle the tip up his ear. Orsino groaned, and gripped the back of her neck as he pressed his body more firmly against hers.

Orsino broke the kiss for much need air, and raised up to look down into Hawke's eyes. What he found in her emerald orbs, was a mixture of affection, desire, and something else that he couldn't quite place, but it made him slightly uneasy. "I was worried about you.", she said softly, her eyes not quite meeting his. He closed his eyes and placed another soft kiss to her lips.

Orsino slid his weight off of Hawke and sat up, propping himself against the headboard. Then he grabbed Hawke and pulled her up to his side, rested her back against his chest, and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "I'm sorry, emm'asha. I got here as soon as I could.", he said quietly into her ear. Hawke sighed and laid her head back on his shoulders, one of her arms wrapped around his, and her other hand found it's way back into his hair. "I'm just glad you're okay.", she told him and kissed his cheek.

"I won't bore you with all of the annoying details, but you'd be happy to know that Zak went through the Harrowing this evening, and survived." Hawke smiled and nodded, "That is good news," she replied sincerely. Hawke knew that Orsino had thought highly of the apprentice, and she was happy to hear that his confidence was well-placed.

"I had an interesting conversation with Fenris this afternoon," she said after a few moments. "What about?", Orsino asked as he shifted her so that he could see her face. "Us. I told him everything... how we met, the letters we exchanged, the night I was attacked and how you took care of me. I even told him about the teleportation spell."

"From what you have told me of Fenris, I'm guessing he didn't exactly approve of the news.", Orsino replied lightly. Hawke chuckled, "He took it about as well as I expected. He didn't say much about it all really, besides asking me a single question, "What is Orsino like?" Orsino raised a brow and grinned, "And what, my dear, was your answer?"

"I asked him if he wanted to know what you were like as an individual, or as a mage," she replied with a smile. "He told me, "Whichever way you wish to take it," so I just gave him the answer I knew he was looking for, instead of boring him with my mushy feelings. I pretty much told him that you are a good man and that I trust you, and will continue doing so unless you give me a reason not to."

Orsino's eyes softened and he kissed her cheek, "I have no intention of ever giving you a reason not to trust me." Hawke smiled up at him, "I have no doubt of that, Orsino," and pulled his head down to kiss his lips. When he pulled away, Hawke relaxed her head in a more comfortable position, and closed her eyes. She felt nearly exhausted now, and she was quite comfortable and content in Orsino's arms.

They sat quietly for awhile; Hawke enjoying Orsino's embrace, and the feel of his long slender fingers sliding gently across her arms; Orsino enjoying the warmth of Hawke's body pressed against his chest, and the feel or her soft steady breaths on his neck and ear.

Hawke yawned after some time, and Orsino felt his insides clench into knots. "You could stay here tonight.", he whispered. He didn't want her to leave, in fact, he'd not wanted her to leave the night before, or the night before that. Hawke yawned again, and she sighed, "I can't, Orsino. Aveline asked me to look into something for her, and I'm also going to look for work around the city tomorrow. I told Fenris I'd come get him first thing in the morning."

"You can still do that. I'll wake you when I get up, if you are not already awake, so you can go home and get ready for your day.", he replied quickly.

Hawke looked up at Orsino, and the pleading look that shined in his eyes made her pause . She'd avoided spending the night ever since that first night. She had wanted to take things slowly, not wanting to allow herself to become too attached, too quickly, but that was no longer an excuse at this point. She wanted to stay, but she was still afraid of taking that last step.

Orsino was still staring down at her, waiting for a response, and her brows creased slightly, "Orsino, I..." she shook her head, trying to force the words to come out. "I can't. I'm sorry." The sadness that filled his expression tore at Hawke's heart. Aveline had been right today... she was in love with him.

Her sudden revelation made her feel relieved, delighted, and slightly terrified. She refocused on Orsino and noticed that his expression had shifted to something more questioning, and she decided he must have seen something on her face to indicate her change of thought. She wasn't ready to admit her feelings yet, and she felt the sudden need to be alone.

Hawke slid slowly out of Orsino arms. "I should go," she said quietly, and avoided looking at him as she climbed off the bed. Orsino stood immediately and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest. His heart was screaming at him to hold on to her, to beg her to stay, to tell her he never wants to spend another night without her, to tell her..., "Emma vhenan na," he said as he bent down to her ear, "Ma'arlath..." Hawke's eyes went wide and she froze.

At first she thought that she must have misinterpreted his words, but when she turned to face him, the look he was giving her told her that she had heard him right, and he meant it without a doubt. Her expression softened, and she felt tears forming in her eyes for the second time that night. Orsino ran the back of his fingers down her cheek and pressed is lips to hers. "I love you, Zalandra," he said as he pulled back and stared into her eyes, "please don't leave."

The tears were now sliding down her face, and Hawke found it very difficult to speak. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck before kissing his cheek. "I'll stay," she whispered into his ear. Orsino picked her up, and hugged her tightly to him. He was surprised that he's found the courage to tell her how he felt, and relieved that she did not run away from him after he made the declaration.

When he set her down, she pulled back and looked up at him. "I need to return home for a few minutes to get something more comfortable than my robe to sleep in." Orsino kissed her again, "I believe I can find something for you to sleep in." Hawke nodded but said nothing, and he pulled away to find one of his long tunics for her to wear.

When he returned and handed it to her, he pointed to his bathing room so that should could change in privacy. She smiled shyly, her cheeks slightly pink, and disappeared into the other room. Orsino slipped off his boots and unclasped his robe. He slid it off quickly, and hung it neatly over the back of his desk chair, leaving him in a white tunic and black trousers.

Deciding he was hungry, Orsino crossed the room and prepared a quick platter of cheese, apples, and some crackers. Then he pulled out two wine glasses and filled them with an expensive vintage from Antiva.

Hearing soft footsteps behind him, Orsino looked over his shoulder to find Hawke standing close by in nothing but his tunic. It hung down to the middle of her thighs, long enough to cover her modesty, but short enough to show off the majority of her perfectly toned legs. It was unbuttoned just low enough to show a hint of her cleavage, and the pendant he had given her hung just above it.

He could see the slight flush of her skin as he perused her form, and he turned to her fully, placed his hands on either side of her face, and pulled her lips up to his. "You are so beautiful," he said softly as a hand slid back into her hair to cradle her head. Hawke hummed appreciatively and smiled against his lips, as she pressed up against him and rested her hands on his sides.

Orsino was fighting within himself, he desperately wanted to touch her, to caress and kiss every inch of her skin, to draw out the sweet sounding moans and whimpers he enjoyed hearing so much, but that was not why he had asked her to stay. He wanted tonight to be about showing his affection and love for her, not his physical desire to be with her.

Osino slid his hand from her cheek down to her shoulder, and slowly took a step back from her. Hawke was slightly confused by the distance he put between them, but she tried not to let it show on her face. She was nervous about staying the night. She'd never allowed anyone to touch her, nor had she ever desired to before meeting Orsino. She'd imagined what it would be like with him, how he would glide his long slender fingers across her skin, how he would whisper into her ear as his hands fondled her most intimate places, how her breath would catch as his lips and tongue teased her sensitive flesh...

Hawke snapped out of her fantasizing as Orsino presented her with a glass of wine, and she took it from him with a smile. "It's Antivan, I've had it once before and really enjoyed it. A few days ago I asked Solivitus to see if he could procure a bottle, and he brought it to me this morning."

Hawke took a small sip from her glass and was overwhelmed by the unexpected flavor. It was a dark red wine, strong and slightly bitter, but with a pleasant sweet aftertaste. "This is delicious, Orsino," she said after a moment. Orsino smiled, pleased that she enjoyed it as much as he did. He reached behind him again and grabbed his glass, as well as the platter he had prepared, and turned back to her. "Shall we return to the comfort of our bed?"

Hawke hesitated only a second before she smiled and nodded. She was caught off guard with his use of the word _our_, but she was more surprised to find that she liked the way it sounded. "Wait just a moment before you climb on the bed, my dear," Orsino said as she reached the edge. Hawke stopped and turned to look back at him, but he was already stepping around to her other side. He set his glass and the platter of food on the bedside table, and then carefully picked up the table and moved it several feet away from the bed.

Hawke watched him curiously as he crossed the room, and cleaned off a matching table, before returning next to her and setting it down. Orsino gently grabbed her shoulders and pulled her away from the bed. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and let her go to step around her. He bent over and gripped the frame of the bed. and slid it towards her. Then he picked up the table and carried around the other side of the bed.

Hawke smiled brightly when he returned to her. She placed her free hand on his chest, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, before walking around to the other side of the bed and sitting down. Orsino sat on his side of the bed, grabbed the platter off the table, and set it on the bed in front of him. He reached for his wine glass, but deciding it was getting colder in the room he focused on the hearth. Hawke watched with awe as the flame came to life in Orsino's palm, and a flick of his wrist sent it flying across the room, landing precisely in the hearth. Another flick of his wrist and the flame grew to a comfortable glow.

Once satisfied, he grabbed his glass and turned to face Hawke. "I am still amazed every time I see you do that," she commented, and sipped at her wine again. Orsino chuckled lightly and drank from his own glass. "I think having the ability to bring someone back from the brink of death is much more impressive, my dear," he replied in return.

The two ate and drank, talking quietly, and enjoying each others company as they did every night. Hawke drained the last bit of her wine and set the glass down on the table next to her. "Would you like another glass," Orsino asked as he stood to refill his own. Hawke looked at the glass for a moment, shrugged, and handed it to him.

When he returned, he handed Hawke her glass, took a drink from his and set it down, before sitting back down next to her. He went to move the platter off the bed, but noticed a single piece of apple sitting on it. He grabbed the fruit with his right hand and moved the platter with his left, setting it on the other edge of his table.

Orsino turned back to Hawke and held the apple up in front her mouth. Hawke grinned and took a sip of her wine before setting the glass back down. She turned back to him, leaned forward, and grabbed his hand with hers. She pulled the apple free with her teeth and chewed it up and swallowed. Then her tongue darted out to run up the length of his index finger, and she closed her mouth around it , sucking lightly, her eyes never leaving his. Orsino groaned and closed his eyes as she slowly slid the digit out of her mouth.

Orsino's eyes slowly reopened and he brought his other hand up to the back of her head, fingers searching for the pins that held up her hair. Hawke shifted on to her knees,crawled the small distance between them, and he inhaled sharply as she swung one leg over him and straddled his lap.

Hawke drew him into a deep kiss as she slowly lowered herself and pressed her body firmly against his. Orsino's free hand joined the other in the task of unpinning her hair, and after a few moments it finally fell free. He dropped the pins off the side of the bed and his hands came down to her legs. His hands climbed up her thighs, slipping under the tunic she wore, and gripped her hips tightly.

Orsino was fighting with himself again, "You don't want to do this yet, it might screw things up" his brain was telling him. "Physical pleasure is a way to show her how you feel," his heart added in. "You know you want to, and she obviously wants you to," said his more primal instincts. Orsino groaned again and broke the kiss. He closed his eyes, and tried to clear his thoughts, while he caught his breath.

When he reopened his eyes and looked up into her eyes, he was surprised by the understanding look she appeared to be giving him. "Orsino, talk to me." she said softly. "Are you reluctant because you are unsure of my feelings and inexperience, or is it something else?" Orsino released her hips and wrapped one arm tightly around her waist, and the other he slid into her hair. "I asked you to stay, because I want you here, not because I expected this from you. I want you to know, without a doubt, that I love you, and preferably that you love me in return, before you decide to give yourself to me."

Hawke smiled down at him and kissed his lips softly, "You are a very honorable man, Orsino," she said after a moment and sighed. "I am so scared of these new feelings. Scared of falling for you, scared of my desire for you... but I agreed to stay tonight because no matter how terrified I am, I _am_ falling for you, and I _do_ desire you." The hand in her hair slid down to her cheek Orsino kissed her again.

"You are not the only one experiencing new feelings, my dear. You are the first woman I have desired since I was still an apprentice, and until now, I honestly never thought I would know what it meant to love someone. I have not, and will not now, try to rush things between us. I had not even planned to tell you how I felt yet, but I desperately wanted you to stay. I hate seeing you leave each night, when all I want is to wrap you in my arms and hold you close," Orsino confessed.

Hawke wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him into a tight embrace. "I am yours," she whispered against his ear. She wanted to tell him how she felt, to ease any uncertainty he may be feeling, but she just wasn't ready to say those three words. She decided then, that the day she was able to confess her love, would be the day she would give herself to him completely.


	9. Can't Fight This Feeling

Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p

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><p>AN: I apologize to my readers for taking so long with this chapter. I ended up rewriting the second half three times before I was mostly happy with it. A quick warning to all - there is a sex scene in this chapter, but it's not overly smutty.

Dalish Translations:

Emm'asha – My girl

Dareth. Emma lath shiral ma. - Be safe. My love journeys with you. (loosely translated)

Emma vhenan na. – My heart is yours.

Emma vhenan – My heart

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><p><em>I can't fight this feeling any longer<br>And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow  
>What started out as friendship, has grown stronger<br>I only wish I had the strength to let it show  
>I tell myself that I can't hold out forever<br>I said there is no reason for my fear  
>Cause I feel so secure when we're together<br>You give my life direction  
>You make everything so clear <em>

_And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight  
>You're a candle in the window, on a cold, dark winter's night<br>And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might_

_Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore  
>I've forgotten what I started fighting for<br>And if I have to crawl upon the floor  
>Come crushing through your door<br>Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore  
><em>

_~*~ Can't Fight This Feeling – REO Speedwagon ~*~_

Hearing the light knock on his door, Fenris slid his broadsword onto his back, and descended the stairs to greet his expected visitor. He pulled open the door, and Hawke smiled up at him.

"Good morning, Fenris," she sang brightly.

"Hawke," Fenris replied with a nod as he stepped into the street, and pulled the door closed behind him. The two walked away from his mansion and headed silently towards the Gallows. Fenris couldn't help but notice Hawke's overly happy mood this morning, and though he tried to ignore it, the big smile plastered on her face, and the extra bounce in her step, was proving to be quite distracting.

"You're in high spirits this morning," he commented indifferently.

Hawke aimed her brilliant smile at him. "So I am," she replied simply.

Fenris raised an eyebrow at her short response, but said nothing further. He knew if she wanted to talk, she would (whether he wanted to hear it or not).

The rest of the trip to the Gallows was quiet and uneventful, though Fenris' muscles tensed as they climbed out of the boat. The long cloak Hawke wore covered her robe, but he could only hope that no one would mention the staff strapped to her back. He'd thought to ask her to leave it at his mansion, but he knew she would have refused, even if it did make the venture into the Gallows that much more dangerous.

They entered the courtyard together, Fenris sticking close, and walking slightly in front of her. "There's Emeric," Hawke announced, and pointed at the elder templar across the open space. Fenris nodded and continued on, eying templars closely as they passed, and glaring threateningly at those that looked in Hawke's direction for longer than what he considered necessary.

"Serah Hawke. It's good to see you again," Emeric called as they drew near.

"Ser Emeric," Hawke replied cordially, "Aveline said you needed my help?"

"Yes. I've spent the last few years continuing my investigation into the murders of Ninette, Mharen, and the other women. I believe I finally have a suspect, a man called Gascard DuPuis."

Hawke nodded, "The Guard Captain mentioned that one of her lieutenants searched the DuPuis mansion, but didn't find anything."

Emeric frowned and shook his head, "The Guard was forced to apologize, and I was reprimanded. Meredith forbade me from continuing my investigation, but she didn't say I couldn't seek outside help."

"What do you need me to do? I'll help if I can." Hawke reassured him.

"I knew I could count on you," he replied with a look of relief. "You'll need to go to Gascard DuPuis' estate after nightfall. Find out what he is hiding, and if he's innocent, find evidence to prove me wrong. It's just that simple."

Hawke nodded again, "I'll return in a couple of days, and let you know what I find. If I find any proof that he is involved, I'll let the Guard Captain know as well, so she can arrest him."

Emeric nodded in appreciation, and Hawke turned to Fenris, "I'd like to speak with Solivitus before we leave."

Fenris frowned, "Very well, but I do not wish to remain here any longer than necessary."

When they neared Solivitus' stall, Fenris stopped and gestured for her to go ahead him, so that he could keep an eye on their surroundings.

Solivitus was telling Hawke about some rare ingredients he'd been looking for, when Fenris noticed movement in a shadowed corridor to his left. He turned slightly, and gripped the handle of his broadsword. The figure stepped forward, just far enough for him to see their hands raise up, which Fenris assumed was to signal that they meant no harm.

He watched the figure closely as it pointed to him, and then to Hawke, and gestured for them to come over. Fenris scowled and as he heard Hawke finishing up with the merchant, he took a step forward.

"Hawke," he said quietly. He figured she must have recognized his tone, because she froze suddenly.

"What is it, Fenris?" she asked warily.

"There is a someone standing in the shadows to our left, and whoever it is, seems to want our attention."

Hawke glanced over in the direction he indicated. When her eyes fell on the shadowed figure, a single hand reached out into the sunlight, and Fenris saw a soft smile spread across her lips.

Hawke turned towards him, looked around for any suspicious templars, and then stepped towards the shadowed figure.

"Hawke!" Fenris snapped as his clawed gauntlet wrapped around her arm. "This is not the place for you to be meeting people in dark passageways," he stated roughly.

He tensed as Hawke gently placed her hand on his exposed forearm, "Fenris, I understand your concern, but please trust me. I know who it is, otherwise I would be more wary as well." Fenris grimaced at her, but released his grip, and nodded.

"Thank you," she said softly, and took another quick look around before slipping off into the shadows, Fenris following close behind.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkened corridor, Fenris regarded the man in front of him. He was an elf, a mage -if the robe and staff were any indication-, and he was giving Hawke a rather distressed look. The First Enchanter, he concluded.

Orsino looked up at Fenris and bowed his head slightly. "Thank you for getting her attention for me. I am Orsino, and you must be Fenris. It is a pleasure to finally meet you, though I wish it were under safer conditions." His gaze then returned to Hawke, and he frowned, "Why are you endangering yourself by walking around in the Gallows, my dear?"

Hawke smiled in an attempt to calm her lovers worrying. "I came to speak to Ser Emeric. He's been investigating a string of murders that he believes are linked. I helped him once before, and Aveline told me that he wanted my assistance again. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going to be here. I just didn't want you to worry."

"I worry because you aren't exactly inconspicuous walking around with your staff for all to see. Not to mention that the Knight-Captain is aware..."

"He has had several months to make a move against me if he was going to, Orsino." Hawke interrupted.

Fenris shifted near the entrance, and took a step towards the two mages. "We don't have time for this, Hawke." he said anxiously.

Orsino peered around the corner, and spotting the templar headed towards them, he grabbed Hawke's hand. "This way," he said to Fenris, and he led them further into the corridor, opened a hidden passage with a short incantation, and ushered them through.

When the wall closed behind them, Orsino sighed. "It should be clear in a moment, and the two of you can continue on. Just promise me that you will be careful, emm'asha. I can not bear the thought of you being locked within these walls, or worse," he stopped and shook his head. "I have no idea what Meredith would do to you if you were you discovered. I'm even beginning to think that that is why Ser Cullen has not turned you in."

Fenris studied Orsino as he spoke. It was obvious -even to him- that the mage cared deeply for Hawke. It was nothing like what he'd seen between the magister's in Tevinter. Realizing this, Fenris considered that Hawke may have been right. Perhaps he was a good man, but like any mage, he faced temptation daily, and could fall prey to it at any time.

Fenris considered his words carefully before he spoke, "Orsino, I can not say that I trust you. If Hawke has told you much about me, you no doubt know why, but I can see that she is dear to you, so I will offer you what assurance I can. Hawke has earned my trust, as well as my friendship, and I will not allow any harm to come to her as long as I am able to prevent it."

Orsino's eyes widened at the warrior's words. He knew enough about the ex-slave to know that such a promise was not something that he took lightly, nor would it have been easy for him to express. Orsino bowed his head once again to the elf, "Thank you, Fenris. Your words mean more to me than you can possibly know."

Hawke brushed her knuckles down Orsino's cheek, and gave him an adoring smile. "I will be careful, Orsino. I promise."

"Very well. I'll see you this evening?" he asked hopefully.

"We have to search an estate in Hightown tonight, and I am unsure how long it will take," Hawke replied, but seeing the disappointment in Orsino's eyes, she raised up on her tiptoes, and placed a kiss on his cheek. "It may be late, and I will probably be tired, but I will come see you once we are done."

Hearing silence in the corridor, Orsino re-opened the secret entrance, and the three exited. Fenris stepped ahead of the two mages, and walked to the end of the corridor to peer out into the courtyard. The corners of his mouth raised slightly at the whispered words that drifted to his ears. "Dareth, Zalandra. Emma lath shiral ma," he heard Orsino say. "Emma vhenan na, Orsino. I will see you tonight," Hawke replied.

She appeared at his side a moment later, and the two made their way back to the main city.

When they reached the dock they headed towards the Hanged Man, but as they reached the stairs leading to Lowtown, a Qunari stepped into their path. "You are Hawke," he stated plainly. "A patrol went missing along the Wounded Coast. The Arishok says you have some semblance of honor, so tell me, did you kill them?"

Hawke raised an eyebrow, and gave him a confused look. "I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't been to the coast in many months," she answered earnestly. The Qunari studied her for a moment before he nodded, "I believe you," and stepped out of the way.

The two continued up the stairs, and once they were out of earshot, Hawke looked at Fenris. "Have I made such an impression on the Arishok, that he immediately thinks of me when one of his patrols goes missing?"

Fenris gave a low chuckle. "You should feel honored, Hawke. You are the only human he believes capable of killing one of his patrols."

Hawke shook her head. "Oh yes. I feel so very honored to be the only person in Kirkwall that is viewed as a threat to the Qun," she replied sarcastically.

After a few minutes Hawke spoke again. "I want to thank you."

Fenris stopped, and looked at her questioningly. "For?"

Hawke smiled up at him, "For what you said to Orsino. I appreciate the sentiment, Fenris, as well as your loyal friendship."

Fenris shrugged and continued walking, but she saw a small smile spread on his lips.

* * *

><p>"Blood magic," she spat as she looked down at the vials of blood on the desk.<p>

"You don't know that for sure, Hawke," Aveline tried to reason.

"We've killed several demons, and countless shades throughout this estate. What more proof do you need?" Fenris growled in agreement.

"Blood magic isn't inherently evil, you know," Merrill chimed in, earning a glare from both Hawke and Fenris.

"Can we just keep moving? I need a drink," Varric muttered.

Hawke led the group on. They found a chest of women's clothing, and an apology letter from the Knight-Commander, before finally entering the last room. Near the center of the room was Gascard DuPuis, standing with his back to the door.

In front of him knelt a terrified looking woman, who spotted Hawke as she entered.

"Help me! Please! He's gone mad." the woman cried.

Hawke's hand tightened on her staff as Gascard turned to look at them. "You're not... You're not him. Shit, I... I know what this looks like, but I didn't hurt her."

Hawke grimaced. "So the wild eyed hysteria is just for show then?" she asked angrily.

"You don't understand," he stammered. "Someone is after her. I had to keep her safe! I don't know why you're here, but there's a killer out there, and I think he's playing us both! Just... just let me explain!"

"I'm listening..." Hawke replied impatiently.

"Twenty silver if he says, "It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man!", Varric tossed in behind her, and Hawke stifled a smirk as she rolled her eyes at the dwarf.

"Several years ago, my sister was murdered. The bastard's now in Kirkwall, killing again. The same way he killed my sister. It starts with a bouquet of white lilies. He sends them to each new victim. Alessa was going to be next. I took her so he'd have to come to me. I was finally going to face my sister's killer, but then you showed up..."

"He's lying! He hurt me!" Alessa cut in.

"I've explained this," Gascard replied exasperatedly as he turned back to face her. "I need your blood to track you down if he took you. It was for your own protection!"

"Let go of me!" Alessa cried, and scrambled around them, before disappearing through the door.

"She'll go straight to the city guard. They'll ruin everything." he shouted.

Aveline shifted at his words, but remained silent as Hawke continued to question him. "_Who_ killed your sister, Gascard?" Hawke asked, clearly skeptical of his story.

"A powerful and experienced blood mage. I believe he uses the women for some ritual. His victims are attractive, healthy women, with few social ties," he answered.

Hawke raised an eyebrow. "Can't you just tell the city guard what you told me?"

"Why? I don't want him arrested. This isn't about justice. I need to be the one to bleed him dry. Besides, they probably wouldn't even hear me out," he disputed, causing Hawke to glance briefly at Aveline.

"I could just report you to the templars for using blood magic," she stated firmly.

"Yes, I used blood magic, and lyrium to augment my powers. I'm not proud of what I've done, but I had to. He took my sister!"

"That's no excuse," Hawke spat angrily, taking a step forward.

Aveline placed a hand on her shoulder, and pulled her back. "Hawke, let it go."

"What," she asked incredulously, "You want to just let him go?"

Aveline squeezed her shoulder lightly. "We may need his help to find the man responsible for the murders," she explained calmly.

"I will continue my search then. If you learn anything new, you can find me in Darktown," Gascard said nervously, and made for a quick escape.

Hawke's eyes narrowed as she whirled on her friend, "I can't believe you just let him walk out of here, Aveline! He kidnapped that woman, and summoned demons to kill a man. He's a blasted blood mage, for Andraste's sake!"

Hawke glanced briefly at Merrill, and seeing the hurt look on her face, she sighed and walked around her companions. "I'm done for the night... and I won't be home, so don't bother looking for me," she called out wearily as she exited the room.

Fenris followed her out, but he only saw a glimpse of the red glow of her teleportation spell before she vanished. He sighed, and rubbed a hand down his face.

Aveline appeared next to him a moment later with a concerned look on her face. "Where is she," she asked solemnly.

Fenris shook his head. "Gone," he stated simply, and stalked off towards the exit of the estate.

* * *

><p>Orsino set his quill down on the desk when he saw the flash of light indicating Hawke's arrival. As soon as she appeared next to him, he jumped out of his chair, and placed his hands on either side of her face.<p>

"Are you hurt," he asked when her eyes met his.

Hawke gave him a confused look, "No. Why would you...", and cut off mid-sentence as she glanced down at herself. "I'm sorry, Orsino. I should have gone home first to clean up and change. I was just so..." she sighed and shook her head. "I just needed to see you," she said exhaustedly.

Orsino tilted her head back up to look at him, and pressed a kiss to her lips. "I'd like for you to consider this as home - as long as you wish to be here, my dear." A small smile spread across her lips, and he continued. "I will prepare you a hot bath, and then you can tell me what happened this evening that had you so upset."

Hawke nodded, and gave him a soft kiss in return. "Thank you." Orsino smiled down at her before turning away to ready her bath.

Hawke leaned her staff against the wall next to the desk, and slipped off her boots. She started on the clasps of her bloodied robe, and removed it carefully. Then she folded it up, and laid it on top of her boots to be scrubbed clean in the morning.

Orsino was sitting on the side of the bathtub with his bare back to her, a fire spell flowing from his fingers as they trailed lazily through the water. Hawke smiled as she realized she'd never before seen him without his tunic on, and his muscles were much more toned than she would have expected.

Hawke's hands slid over his shoulders, and continued down his chest as she gently scraped her teeth against the edge of his ear. Her lips closed around the pointed tip, and she sucked lightly. "You should show off this beautiful chest of yours more often," she said softly.

Orsino chuckled as he shifted to stand, and he turned to face her. His eyes widened when he realized she was wearing only her smallclothes, and he cleared his throat. "Your water is ready. When you are done with your bath, I will be waiting for you with a glass of wine. Have you eaten?"

"Yes, I ate with Mama this evening. I'll rejoin you in a few minutes, and the wine sounds delightful," Hawke replied as she pulled the pins out of her hair. Orsino nodded and walked around her, but stopped at the door, "I almost forgot... in that box there on the table is something for you."

Hawke looked at the box, and then back at Orsino, "What is it?"

Orsino shook his head and smiled, "Open it when you are done bathing," and he pulled the door closed behind him.

After bathing and drying herself off, Hawke lifted the lid of the box. Inside was an emerald green silk nightgown, and a matching bathrobe. She slipped the nightgown over her head, and looked at her reflection in the mirror. It fit perfectly, hanging near the middle of her thigh, and cut just low enough to show a hint of her cleavage. The long sleeved robe hung down to her ankles, and rubbed pleasantly across her bare legs.

Orsino was digging through a high cabinet across the room when she approached him silently from behind. Her hands reached up, and gently trailed down his back. Orsino leaned back slightly, and looked at her over his shoulder.

Giving up his search for the moment, he turned around and took in her form. "I'm guessing you like it, if the smile on your face is anything to go by," he said as he slid his hands inside the open robe, and around her waist.

"The smile is for my irresistible, and lovable elven suitor, _not_ for the beautiful gift he gave me... but yes, I do like it very much. Thank you."

Orsino smiled slyly, "Hm, let's see... several months ago I was intelligent, charismatic, caring, and attractive. And now I am irresistible, and lovable. I believe I like the upgraded status."

Hawke chuckled, and shook her head, "Not an upgrade. Additional details. And you forgot the part about you having the most beautiful, expressive eyes I have ever seen."

Hawke's smile faded slightly, and Orsino noticed the sudden change. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong it's just..."

Hawke paused and thought of the proper words to explain what she was thinking. "I can tell you anything and everything except for what I _really_ want to say, and it's driving me mad."

"Why?" Hawke gave him a confused look, so he clarified, "Why can't you say what you want to say?"

"I... Because I'm afraid, Orsino. I can kill bandits, thieves, blood mages, demons, and huge fire-breathing dragons without blinking an eye, but I'm too terrified to tell the man I... _you_ how I feel. Every moment that I am away from you all I can think of is your words, your smile, your touch..."

Orsino's fingers stroked the back of her neck, and he pressed his lips gently against hers.

"Do you believe that I love you?" he asked her.

"Yes." she answered.

"Do you want to be with me?"

"Yes."

"Do you love me?" he then asked quietly.

"Yes," she answered after a brief pause.

That single confession raised a heavy weight from her shoulders, and Hawke felt the last vestiges of fear fade away with it. Her smile returned, and she kissed him softly. "Why don't we take our wine to bed with us," she asked, and nodded at the filled glasses next to him on the counter.

"I like that idea," he replied. Orsino closed the cabinet that he'd been digging through, reached for his glass, and followed her across the room.

Hawke stopped briefly to grab a book from the pack she had left earlier that morning, and he looked at her curiously, but decided to wait and see what she did with it.

It wasn't until after they were seated on the bed that Orsino realized it was the spell book she had used previously for the teleportation spell. "Have you found something else of interest?" he asked as he pulled her against his chest.

"Yes. I found it several months ago, actually, but I didn't give it much thought until recently. It's not something most mages would have much use for, but... in our situation it seems more pertinent," Hawke remarked as she flipped through the book with her free hand. "Here," she said, pointing to a page in the book. "I'll let you read it instead of explaining it to you. It'll be easier that way."

She pulled her knees up towards her chest, rested the book against them, and drank her wine quietly while he read to himself. She worried that he might flat out refuse, but she would never know if she didn't at least present it to him. There was a small chance that he would view it as worthwhile as she did.

Orsino began to read, and immediately found himself slightly shocked. _Lover's Union – a telepathic bond made by willing mage partners. __**This can **__**NOT**__** be reversed.**__ Once the bond is made, the couple __will be able to speak to one another telepathically from anywhere, at any time_. _You will be able to block your thoughts from your partner, but you can never block the thoughts of your partner if they wish for you to hear them. This bond has the potential to advance further than speaking with the mind... (examples: feeling the partner's emotions; feeling the partner's physical pain or pleasure; sensing the partner's presence or location). It is currently unknown what causes these rare anomalies with the bond._

He continued reading through the next paragraph as it explained the process of creating the bond, and when he finished, he sat quietly for several moments to gather his thoughts. In his mind, it was only a matter of whether he was willing to allow her to bind herself to him eternally. He knew what he wanted, but did she?

She knew he was done reading, because she felt his head tilt up towards the ceiling. It wasn't a decision to be made lightly, she knew, but he was considering it at least. She'd had months to contemplate the idea before she'd decided it was something she wanted, and she wanted him to take as much time as he needed. Perhaps she should have explained that her feelings for him would not change, no matter his choice, but she felt that he knew her well enough to already know that.

Orsino pulled the book from her lap, and set it on the floor under the edge of the bed, then he drained his wine, and set the empty glass on the bedside table. When he slipped out from behind her, and moved to sit in front of her, Hawke followed his example, and finished her wine before setting her glass next to his.

"I'm sure that you wouldn't have showed me otherwise, but I need to hear it for myself," Orsino started. "Are you absolutely certain that you want this?

"I am," she answered resolutely.

Orsino nodded, satisfied with her certainty. "Then I agree," he stated simply.

Hawke was struck near speechless, and her mouth dropped open. "You... agree? You don't want more time to think about it?"

Orsino smiled, and brushed a stray strand of hair away from her eyes. "I do not need to think about it, my dear. Our lives will never be normal. We will never be free to live our lives as we choose. My heart and my thoughts are the only things that I have complete control of... I've already given you my heart, and I would happily give you my thoughts as well."

Hawke's robe slipped down her arms as she leaned forward to kiss him. Orsino's fingers trailed slowly across the exposed flesh of her shoulders, and continued down her arms pushing her robe away as he went. For the first time since he'd laid eyes on her, Orsino let go, and allowed his desire to flow freely through him.

Hawke wrapped her arms around his neck, and seized his lips hungrily as she was lowered onto her back. Orsino rested comfortably between her legs, and she savored the feel of his weight and the warmth of his body seeping through the thin silk of her gown.

Hawke's hand traveled down from his neck, and quickly found the ties of his trousers. The knots were untied easily enough, but Orsino pulled her hands away before she could do anything further.

"Be patient, my dear," he said with a low chuckle.

He intertwined her fingers with his, and held her hands on either side of her head. His lips and tongue trailed down her neck, and he bit gently where her neck and shoulder met. Hawke moaned, and tried to free her hands, but he held them down firmly.

Smiling inwardly, and thinking two could play at his game, she rocked her hips up against his.

"_That_ is not being patient," he growled playfully as he pressed her harder into the mattress.

"We've both been patient for nearly a year, love. Is that not patient enough for you?" she asked with the smile he adored so much.

Orsino released her hands, and captured her lips once more. His hands tugged at the bottom of her gown, and she raised her hips so that he could push it upward. She assisted him with pulling it over her head, and she tossed it onto the floor. A light flush painted her skin as he looked down on her fully exposed body, but his hands and mouth quickly made her forget all thoughts of modesty.

A deep warmth spread through her, and a sparks began to surge wildly from her fingertips. Hawke's eyes widened, and she jerked her hands away from his skin. "I'm sorry, Orsino. Did I hurt you?" she asked frantically.

Orsino smiled, and kissed her lips. "No, my love." He slid his palm across her stomach, and his hand sparked, much like hers had done, and Hawke whimpered and arched into his touch. She could feel his magic coursing through her veins, and it heightened the sensation of his every touch.

"Intense emotion pushes our magic to the edge of our control. The sparks are a reaction of my magic coming in contact with yours, and as I just showed you... it is a very pleasant feeling," he explained.

Hawke placed her hands back on his chest, and slid them slowly down his stomach before pushing lightly on the top of his trousers. Realizing she wasn't going to get far with her hands with him laying on top of her, she raised her feet up and slipped the waistband between her toes, and began pushing downward.

Orsino smiled down at her as he lifted himself up, and kicked off his trousers once she'd pushed them to his knees.

The sparks between them were growing in intensity, and Hawke felt every inch of skin that was in contact with his, begin to tingle delightfully. Her breath was growing heavier, and she could hear her heart pounding loudly in her ears.

Orsino continued to explore her exquisite curves, enjoying the soft sounds he was drawing from her lips. Slipping a hand between them, he lightly brushed a finger across the delicate juncture between her thighs. Her body tensed, and she captured his lips as her fingers dug into his shoulders.

Orsino called forth his magic, and his fingers warmed as he massaged her sensitive skin. Hawke began writhing beneath him, and he knew she was close to falling over the edge.

He repositioned himself, sliding his free arm under her lower back, and gripped her opposite hip tightly. Hawke felt him pressing into her, and her eyes locked on to his. Her world began to shatter around her, and she gasped as the immense pleasure mixed with a sudden spike of pain that was swiftly drowned by a wave of healing magic.

Orsino's eyes closed as he fought to keep his restraint. The feel of Hawke surrounding him invaded all of his senses; her scent, her voice, her warmth, her magic thrumming against his skin. He inhaled sharply when she rolled her hips, and his moss colored eyes slid open to stare down into her emerald ones. Hawke trailed her tongue across his lips, and he moved with her, keeping the pace she'd set.

It wasn't long before she felt herself nearing the precipice again, and she began to increase the speed of her movements. Orsino buried his face in the crook of her neck, and murmured a string of elven words against her skin that she couldn't translate.

"I love you," she breathed into his ear.

Orsino's arms tightened around her, and they each allowed their magic to break free of its finely controlled barrier. Their magic intertwined, and surrounded them. Encasing them in barrier where nothing beyond its confines existed for the two.

Hawke fell over the edge first, his name spilling from her lips in a cry of ecstasy, and he followed immediately after. Orsino collapsed on top of her, and Hawke wrapped her arms around him tightly.

Once her heart rate returned to normal Hawke lazily trailed her fingers up and down his back. "I will do so tomorrow," she said softly.

Orsino raised up onto his elbows to look at her. He was about to ask what she was referring to, but he realized she had heard his thoughts. A smile spread slowly across his lips, and she returned it with a smile of her own.

"I love you, emm'asha."

"And I love you, emma vhenan."

Hawke's eyes slid closed as her mind began to drift off towards the Fade. "Orsino," she said softly. "What were you saying in Elven a few minutes ago?"

Orsino chuckled and rolled them both over. "Nothing of importance," he assured her as she shifted to lay comfortably at his side.

Hawke smiled and kissed him, before resting her head on his chest. "Good night, love."

"Good night," he replied as he closed his eyes.

No matter what is to come of their future; tonight she is here, she is his, and they will face tomorrow together.

* * *

><p>AN: I'll be taking a break from writing for a couple of days, but I will try to get chapter 10 up by next weekend. Hope you all enjoy. Reviews are appreciated.


	10. Everything

**Disclaimer**: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p

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><p><strong>AN**: I have plans for the next couple of chapters, and then there is going to be a significant time jump in order to reach the games Act II time frame. This chapter is a little heavy on dialogue, as I am trying to build up to events in future chapters. Thanks again to those of you that have been following this story, and for leaving reviews. Hope you all enjoy the new chapter, and chapter 11 should be up next weekend, if not sooner.

Added Note: Quotes written purely in italics, is the telepathic communication between Orsino and Hawke.

* * *

><p><em>You are the strength, that keeps me walking.<em>  
><em>You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.<em>  
><em>You are the light to my soul.<em>  
><em>You are my purpose...you're everything.<em>

_You calm the storms, and you give me rest._  
><em>You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.<em>  
><em>You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.<em>  
><em>Would you take me in... take me deeper now.<em>

_Cause you're all I want, you're all I need.  
>You're everything, everything.<em>

_~*~ Everything - Lifehouse ~*~_

"I'm afraid that you are mistaken," Hawke replied doubtfully. Moira shook her head, and presented a piece of parchment. "I'm not mistaken, Serah. You sent Ser Emeric this message a half hour ago." Hawke glanced down at the letter, and then returned her worried gaze to the templar. "I did not send this."

"You didn't? Strange. Well, I don't know. Emeric's been acting strange for months. It's probably just a misunderstanding." Hawke gave Fenris a wary look, and she could tell that he was thinking the same thing she was. "We need to get to this alley, and quickly. I have a bad feeling about this." Fenris nodded in silent agreement.

Hawke had a sudden thought, and scanned the courtyard. Spotting her intended target, she focused her thoughts.

"_Orsino?"_

"_Yes, my dear?"_

"_Are you available to come to the courtyard?"_

"_I'm on my way. Are you in trouble?"_

"_No, but I believe Ser Emeric's life is in danger, and time is not on our side. Fenris and I can handle a lot on our own, but I would like to ask the Knight-Captain to allow your assistance, if you are willing."_

"_You know that I am."_

When Orsino came into view, Hawke headed across the courtyard. She knew that Cullen would not let Orsino go with her easily, but she felt the need to try. She was still frustrated by the events of the previous evening, and Orsino always had a way of making her feel more calm and collected. She knew that it was selfish of her, but she needed him at her side today.

Orsino reached the Knight-Captain at the same time Hawke and Fenris did, and she spoke up immediately. "Knight-Captain, First Enchanter, my apologies for interrupting, but this is a matter of urgency. I have reason to believe that a templar, Ser Emeric, is in grave danger. Fenris and I are going to look for him, but I don't have time to gather any of my other companions in case we run into trouble."

Hawke hesitated briefly, in an effort to make it appear that she was uncomfortable asking her next question. "First Enchanter, if the Knight-Captain would allow it, would you be willing to go with us? Ser Cullen, your blade would be most welcomed as well, of course, if you are able to leave your post."

Cullen was slightly surprised by her request, but he could see the sincere distress in Hawke's face, and after a moment he shook his head. "I'm sorry Hawke, I can not leave my post at this time, but I will allow you to take the First Enchanter if he is willing to help."

"I am," Orsino answered earnestly with a nod.

Fenris grumbled something unintelligible -something about working with another mage, Hawke had no doubt-, which drew the attention of the templar, and the First Enchanter. "Fenris, if I recall from our last meeting," Cullen asked the elf. "Yes, that is correct," Fenris answered shortly.

Cullen glanced at Hawke and Orsino with what Hawke took as an apologetic expression, before returning his attention to the ex-slave. "May I speak with you in private for just a moment? I will not delay your task any longer." Fenris gave Cullen a curious look, but nodded in compliance.

Hawke raised an eyebrow, but did not question the Knight-Captain's motives. No matter what he said to Fenris, he was her friend, and she trusted him explicitly. "We will wait for you at the boat, Fenris," she called out behind her as they headed to the Gallows dock.

* * *

><p>"The designated meeting place is around this next corner," Fenris said quietly, as he drew his broadsword. He put his back to the wall of a nearby building, and slid to the end to peer around the corner. Hawke and Orsino readied their staves, and stepped carefully up behind him.<p>

When Hawke heard a low growl from the warrior, she knew they were in for some bad news. "What is it, Fenris," she whispered.

"Several shades, and at least one demon," he growled viciously, "and from the looks of things, we are too late to help the templar."

Hawke frowned, and sighed softly. "Despite Emeric's fate, those wretched creatures can not be allowed to roam the streets." Fenris nodded in agreement, and they both looked to Orsino, who gestured for them to lead the way.

Fenris stepped around the corner, his lyrium tattoos glowing brightly, and charged at the nearest enemy. Hawke summoned a healing aura, and followed a few feet behind, staying well within healing range, but out of the path of his blade.

Orsino launched several precisely aimed fireballs amongst the enemies that were surrounding Hawke and Fenris, and then turned his attention to the stragglers outside of the fray. Orsino watched the two in awe, as they fought side by side. It looked almost like a choreographed dance, the powerful, graceful swings of Fenris' two-handed sword, the smooth oscillations of Hawke's bladed staff as she alternated between melee attacks, and casting spells. Enemies that ventured too close to Hawke were knocked away by a telekinetic burst, or struck down by Fenris within seconds.

A shade appeared next to Orsino, and he engulfed it in flames before it even had a chance to move. Seeing that the battle was nearly over, he began to move closer to the pair. Hawke looked up as he approached, and she smiled at him before it suddenly turned into a grimace. "Orsino duck!"

He did as she commanded, and glanced behind him to witness the shade freeze solid, and then shatter to tiny pieces a second later.

Orsino smiled at the sight, but it faded as soon as he turned back find his lover frowning, and kneeling over the dead templar.

"Some mage sent those things here to kill him," Ser Moire asked as she approached from a nearby alley. "Why would anyone... Oh Maker, the murders. Emeric was right, he was getting too close. He suspected a man named Gascard DuPuis. Did he do this?"

Hawke stood, and pulled a piece of cloth free from her belt. "I'm not sure. I didn't think he was the killer, but it's possible that he tricked me," she replied dourly.

"Then we need to find him. Do you know where he is?"

"He said he was going to Darktown," Hawke answered, as she wiped off the blade of her staff.

"Darktown's a big place, but we'll find him. He's an apostate, and Meredith will want him hunted down. I will speak to the city guard about this. Gascard DuPuis will not escape," Ser Moire declared. "I... will also have a some men come back for Ser Emeric," she added sadly, and then took her leave.

Hawke shook her head, and began walking back in the direction from which they came. "I knew we should have killed him when we had the chance," she muttered quietly. "Let's go."

"Hawke, this isn't your fault," Fenris stated as he and Orsino caught up to her.

"Perhaps not," she replied with a bitter laugh, "but if I had done things differently, Gascard would be dead. I wouldn't be angry with Aveline. Merrill wouldn't be upset with me, and you and I would not be having this discussion... Still," she added more calmly, "I appreciate your attempt to make me feel better, Fenris. And no, technically this is not my fault, but Emeric might would still be alive if I had been more careful with the choices I made during this whole thing.

Fenris nodded in acknowledgment, and the three walked on in silence. Orsino's hand reached for hers, and she squeezed his fingers lightly in return. His touch eased her despair, and she was very grateful for his presence.

* * *

><p>When they arrived in the Gallows, Moire had already informed Cullen of what had transpired, and a contingent of templars had been dispatched to Darktown to look for Gascard. Hawke managed to maintain her well practiced air of calm throughout the conversation, all the while fighting to ignore the worry threatening to overwhelm her.<p>

"Thank you, First Enchanter, for your assistance, and thank you for allowing him to come with us, Knight-Captain," Hawke said, as soon as she found the opportunity to excuse herself.

"I hope the templars find Gascard soon, and if you need my assistance with anything, you can send word to my estate. Now if you will excuse me, I have one other matter to attend to, before I can retire for the night. Have a nice evening gentlemen," she said with bow of her head, and turned quickly on her heel to head back to the boat.

* * *

><p>"Did you need my help with something else tonight, or was that just an excuse to get out of there," Fenris asked as they climbed the stairs to Lowtown.<p>

"I need to do a couple of things before I return to Orsino for the evening, but I will be fine on my own." Hawke replied simply.

"Hawke, we've had this discussion..."

"Fenris, you don't want to go where I am heading," she interrupted. "Besides, I recall you making plans with Varric tonight, and we are almost to the Hanged Man."

When they reached the tavern, Fenris stopped, and stared at Hawke for a moment.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you, Hawke? And don't tell me no just because I don't get along all of the company you keep." he finally said. He hated her wandering the city alone, especially after dark. She was the only person he could remember that he actually _wanted_ to protect, and he would go out of his way to ensure her safety, even if she didn't think she needed it.

Hawke gave him a sweet smile, and nodded, "I'll be fine, Fenris. I'm going to teleport home, gather a few things, deliver a quick message, and then teleport back to the Gallows. I will only have to travel a few steps away from my estate to deliver the message. I should be perfectly safe, unless some brave bandits are camping on my doorstep."

Fenris hesitated only a moment longer, before he nodded his head, and turned to open the door. He knew where she was going, and though he despised the abomination, he knew she should be safe enough getting to his clinic from her estate.

"Fenris."

He halted, and looked back at her over his shoulder. "Thank you," she said sincerely.

He didn't have to ask why this time. Just as the previous day, and several times before, she was simply reminding him that remaining at her side is his choice, and that she appreciates him being there. A small smile spread on his face, one that he reserved only for her, and then he disappeared through the door.

* * *

><p>Hawke threw her pack over her shoulder, grabbed her staff, and rushed out of the kitchen. She quickly made her way through the dining room, and nearly ran into her mother as she rounded the corner into the sitting room. Leandra jumped, and placed a hand on her chest to calm her heavily beating heart, before placing her other hand on Hawke's arm. "Where are you going in such a hurry, dear? Is something wrong?"<p>

"I'm sorry, Mama. I didn't mean to startle you, but I don't have time to explain right now. We'll talk in the morning." Hawke stepped around her mother, and opened the door to the cellar.

"Mama," she called, and stopped on the stairwell.

Leandra stepped into the doorway, and gave her a worried look. "If you see... one of my friends in the house, don't panic. He has my permission." She continued down a few more steps before she paused again, "And if anyone comes looking for one of my friends... you've never met them," she added.

Leandra smiled with understanding, and nodded her head. Hawke smiled in return, and continued her swift descent into the cellar. When she reached the back door, she opened it slowly, and searched with eyes and ears for any signs of trouble. Not noticing anything that appeared to be a threat, she locked, and closed the door behind her, and ran across the small landing to her destination. Both of the doors were locked, and she wasn't real sure if that was a good sign, or a bad one.

She knocked on the door, quietly at first, but when no answer came, she knocked a little louder. Still no answer came, and panic began to set in. "It's Hawke, if you're in there, please let me in," she called out as she frantically knocked again. As soon as the words left her mouth, she heard the lock click. The door opened a small crack, before quickly swinging open. A single hand reached out to grasp her arm, and yanked her inside, before the door slammed shut behind her.

When she turned to face the man at the door, she was unsettled by the distress showing in his features. "Anders, what's wrong? What happened?"

Anders shook his head, and walked around her to stand his staff up against the wall, and then preceded to pace back and forth across the room. "There were templars here just a few minutes ago. I heard them talking to that elf merchant friend of yours, and I locked the doors. They came here a few minutes later, and beat on the door several times. I thought for sure that they would bust the door down, and if they had... Maker, I don't even want to think about it. What are you doing here? You shouldn't be walking through Darktown at night by yourself," he said as he stopped pacing, and looked at her.

Hawke frowned, and walked over to Anders. "I came here to warn you that the templars were searching Darktown for someone, but they beat me here it seems."

"How did you know they were going to be here," he asked worriedly.

"It's a long story, but they are looking for a man named Gascard DuPuis. He's a blood mage, so if he comes here looking for shelter..."

"He'll find death," Anders interrupted. "And so will those templars if they come back here. It took all of my strength to keep Justice from..."

"Anders," Hawke placed her hand on his chest, "you are strong enough to control Justice. You can't kill templars just for knocking on your door. You'll draw the attention of the Knight-Commander, and they'll never stop hunting you."

Anders' eyes softened, and he placed a hand on top of Hawke's, "I know, Hawke. Thank you. You always have a way of restoring my faith in myself, and reminding me that things could be worse than they are."

Hawke smiled, and pulled her hand away to dig into a pocket on her robe. "Here," she said as she reached her hand out to him. Anders extended his hand, and he eyed the metal object in his palm, before looking back at her. "A key," he asked with a confused look.

Hawke nodded, and closed his fingers around it. "It unlocks the door to my cellar, just outside of your clinic... So that you have somewhere safe to flee, if you need to escape in a hurry."

Anders' eyes went wide, and he shook his head, "Hawke, no. That will put you in too much danger. I can't..."

"You can, and you will," she said sternly. "You are my friend, and I will give you what protection I can. Even if the templars followed you, my mother would play ignorant of your identity, as well as how you got a key. She is well practiced in such things, I assure you. As for me, I am rarely home these days, so it wouldn't do them much good to look for me there."

Anders frowned, but slipped the key into his coat pocket. He stared at her silently for a few moments, then turned his back to her, and walked over to a chair to sit down. Hawke shifted her weight from foot to foot, slightly uneasy by the tension that seemed to suddenly rise between them.

"It's the elf, isn't it," he asked in a barely audible tone.

"The elf? What are you talking about," she asked, clearly confused by his question.

"Fenris. I should have seen it sooner. You two have always been very close," he answered sadly.

Hawke shifted her pack on her shoulder, and frowned. "Fenris and I are close, yes. We have become very good friends over the last two years, as have you and I. I know you two don't get along, but I don't see how my friendship with him has anything to do with what we were just talking about."

"So you're just friends? You aren't... together?"

"Toge..." Hawke paused as she finally realized what had started this line of questioning, and she shook her head. "No Anders. Fenris and I are not together. I have been seeing someone, however, and I have spent the last several nights with him, but it is not anyone from our usual group."

Anders seemed to relax slightly, but he still seemed unhappy, and she fought not to frown at him.

"The way you worded that... not anyone from our usual group. Does that mean that I know this person?"

The frown she was trying to hide, crept onto her face. Of course he would have caught on to that... and this was _not_ why she had come here tonight. "Anders," she sighed, "You know _of_ him... but don't know him personally."

Anders shifted in his chair, "I have never seen you become this uncomfortable about a single question, Hawke. Is there a reason you don't want me to know who it is?"

Hawke pinched the bridge of her nose, and closed her eyes. "Yes Anders, there is a reason. If I tell you who it is, it will start an inevitable argument, that I truly just don't feel like having tonight."

Anders stood from his chair, and walked back to stand in front of her. "Fine," he said calmly, "then just answer me this... Is he good to you? Are you happy?"

Hawke looked up at him, and her lips turned up slightly as she thought about Orsino. "He is a good man, he is _very_ good to me, and yes I am happy. Happier than I have been since... well, in many, many years."

"Good," he said softly. "I just want you to be happy, Hawke."

Deciding that he couldn't sit around there any longer, Anders stepped around Hawke, and grabbed his staff once again. "I think I will go to the Hanged Man for awhile. Maybe the bloody templars will have found their target, and gone back to the Gallows by the time I return. Would you like an escort anywhere," he asked as he slid his staff onto his back.

"No, I'll be fine. Are you sure you'll be okay walking to Lowtown by yourself," she asked, and readjusted her pack again.

Anders gestured to the door, and Hawke followed him towards it. "You're concern is appreciated, sweetheart, but not needed. I can take care of myself."

Hawke nodded silently as she exited the clinic, and Anders followed, locking the door behind him. She couldn't help but to worry about the mage, not so much for his physical safety, but for his mental stability. Over the two years she's known Anders, she has watched the slow, subtle changes in his personality. She could still see the true Anders on occasion, cheerful, mischievous, and flirtatious; but she sees less and less of that part of Anders, and she worries that one day it will be gone completely.

"Are you sure you're okay Hawke, you look like something is bothering you." Hawke blinked to clear her thoughts, and returned her attention to Anders to see the worry in his face. "I'm sorry, Anders. I've just had a lot on my mind the last couple of days, nothing a day of quiet introspection can't cure," she said with a forced smile. "Go on and enjoy your evening. I'll come by in a couple of days, and you can let me help you out around the clinic a bit."

Anders nodded, and gave her another small smile, "I'd like that."

"I will see you in a couple of days then. Have a pleasant night Anders... and be careful."

"Good night, Hawke," he replied, and began his trek through the darkened streets.

Hawke frowned as she watched Anders walk away. His shoulders were hunched more than usual, and his farewell had sounded a touch dismal. She wasn't sure what had upset him, but she figured she could try to pull it out of him during her next visit.

"_Zalandra?"_

"_Yes, love?"_

"_Are you... all right?"_

Hawke suddenly felt a heavy wave of anxiety wash over her, and her frown deepened. Without responding to his question, she summoned her magic, and found herself in Orsino's chambers a moment later, staring into the depths of his worried green eyes.

"I'm fine, Orsino," she assured him, and placed her hand on his cheek. "Why so troubled?"

Orsino shook his head, and pulled her closer to him. "It is not easy to explain. I was struck with an inexplicable sense of sorrow, and then all I could think of was you. I didn't want to disturb you, but I had to make sure you were okay. "

Hawke's brow furrowed as she considered his words, and after a moment she realized that her previous sensation of anxiety made sense. "The bond," she stated, as she pulled away to prop her staff against the wall, and set her pack on the floor. When she turned back to Orsino, he reached for her again, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "You were sensing my emotions, and I sensed yours as well."

Orsino pressed a kiss to her forehead, and held her tightly in his arms. They each knew that feeling the other's emotions was a possibility with the bond, but it was supposed to be a rare effect, and even if it did occur, he had not expected it this soon."Will you tell me what upset you then," he asked quietly.

Hawke lowered her head, and rested it against his shoulder. "I... can't."

"You can't... or you won't," he asked calmly, and began pulling the pins from her hair.

Hawke closed her eyes, and once Orsino pulled her hair free of it's bun, she raised her head to look up at him. "Won't, would be the more accurate word, I suppose. If I told you, you would be forced to choose between your duty as First Enchanter, and your feelings for me. I refuse to do that to you intentionally, just as I would never intentionally force my brother to choose between his oath as a templar, and his relationship to me."

Orsino frowned, and shook his head, "It is impossible for you to put me in such a position, because there is no choice between the two. I will always do what I can to protect the mages under my care, but as far as my other duties as First Enchanter are concerned, they will never come before my love and loyalty to you."

A pained expression formed on her face, and Hawke released a soft sigh. "That is not the only reason I won't tell you," she admitted quietly. "As much as I would love to share with you all of the things that make me happy, or angry, or sad... I would feel as though I was betraying a friend if I told you what was bothering me. I am deeply... concerned about this friend. He is fighting a very difficult battle, against something that I am powerless to protect him from, and I'm afraid that he will eventually lose to it."

Seeing the tears she was trying fight back, Orsino pulled her against his chest, and rested his cheek against the top of her head. "I'm sorry, emm'asha," he whispered, while brushing his fingers through her hair. "I understand if you can't tell me everything, but as long as my body draws breath, I will be here for you... in whatever capacity that you need me."

Orsino's words touched such a deep part of her, that Hawke could no longer hold back the tears that began running down her cheeks. She wondered how something so simple as assuring her that he was here, could bring such an overwhelming emotion. She then decided that Orsino simply had that effect on her. He was always able to slip through her guarded walls, and reach her most hidden, vulnerable depths, with nothing more than a tender gaze, a softly spoken word, or the gentlest touch. "And _that_, is why you fell in love with him," she thought to herself.

Hawke leaned back to look at him again, this time with a pleasant smile playing on her lips. Orsino gently wiped her tears away with his thumb, and kissed her forehead again.

"I brought us some dinner, if you're hungry," Hawke said after a moment. Orsino smiled, and nodded, "I could stand to eat. Our excursion this afternoon was a bit more straining than what I am used to."

Hawke chuckled, and pulled free from his grasp to retrieve her pack. "Did you enjoy the opportunity to leave the mundane tasks of your position to roast the vile fiends tramping through the cities' streets, First Enchanter," she asked lightly, and began placing the food on the dining table.

Orsino laughed quietly as he set clean dishes, and a bottle of wine on the table. "It was a nice change of pace, I must admit. Though I was more invigorated watching you and Fenris fighting, than by the battle itself. The two of you move in such graceful harmony with each other... it was truly a sight to behold. I was also quite impressed by your proficiency with a staff. I have never seen a mage in my lifetime look so at ease, while they were being surrounded by enemies."

Hawke nodded in appreciation, and returned her pack to the floor. Orsino pulled out a chair for her, and she kissed his cheek before sitting down. "My father began teaching Carver the basics of fighting as soon as he was big enough to lift a sword. I enjoyed watching their training sessions, and after a few weeks I started following along with my staff. Daddy was delighted in my eagerness to learn, and he happily allowed me to join in their sessions. As we got older, Carver and I started sparring with each other, and I used those duels to learn how to defend myself without the use of magic."

Orsino poured them both a glass of wine, and waited patiently as Hawke went about distributing food onto their plates. "Do you spar with Fenris, or one of your other companions now that Carver is a templar," he asked curiously.

"No," she replied with a shake of her head. "I'm sure Fenris or Aveline would if I asked, but it just wouldn't be the same. Carver and I knew each other's weaknesses, and we played on those weaknesses in order to help the other improve. I suppose I just didn't want to have to start over from scratch with a new partner. Although I think I'd enjoy training someone that didn't already have an established fighting style."

The two began eating, and Orsino considered her last comment. Being able to fight when magic was not an option could prove very useful. He even idly wondered if he could convince the Knight-Commander (or more likely, the Knight-Captain) to allow the apprentices to be taught such skills. He knew that wasn't likely to happen, but it might be worth asking at least. "Would you be willing to train me," he asked after a few minutes.

Hawke's eyes widened in surprise, "I... well of course I'd be willing, but... are you sure you want me to? I've been told that I'm not exactly the nicest person when I am trying to teach someone something."

Orsino laughed, and took a drink of his wine. "I can't imagine you _not_ being nice, my dear, but even so, I think it will be an enjoyable experience. And if you torment me too much, I'll just have to teach you a lesson of my own," he replied teasingly.

Hawke smiled, and nodded. "Very well. I'll pick up a couple of training staves tomorrow for us to start with."

They continued eating in companionable silence for several minutes, before Hawke broke it again. "I never did actually thank you for your help today; so thank you."

"You and Fenris did most of the work. I was too caught up in watching the two of you, hence you having to save my hide from my own lack of attention to my surroundings."

Hawke shook her head, and sipped at her wine. "You helped more than you realize. But I was more thankful for your presence, than your impeccable ability to incinerate things... We were," a light flush colored her cheeks, "_distracted_ last night, before I told you what happened at the DuPuis estate. Having you there with me today just made things much easier for me to deal with."

Orsino grabbed her empty hand, and brought it up to his lips. "I'm glad I could be there then. What exactly did happen last night? I gathered this Gascard Dupis fellow was mage, and a blood mage if I understood your comments correctly. You said you were angry at Aveline, and Merrill was upset with you, why?"

Hawke finished the last bite of her food, took another sip of her wine, and sighed. "Short version is... He is indeed a blood mage, he claimed he turned to blood magic because this murderer we've been hunting killed his sister years ago, and he wanted revenge. I didn't believe his story, but I didn't think he was the killer either. None of that really mattered to me though. You know how I feel about blood magic..."

"I do," Orsino said with a nod.

"Yes. Well, Aveline let him go, because she thought he might be able to help us find the killer. After the bastard was gone, I yelled at Aveline, and upset Merrill in the process. I stopped myself short when I saw Merrill's hurt expression, and didn't even wait for a response. I stormed out into the hall, told them not to look for me, and teleported straight here." Hawke got to her feet to clear off the table, and Orsino stood to help her.

He knew that she hated blood mages, but he'd only seen Hawke lose her temper once, and that was with her brother. He was slightly shocked to hear that she had yelled at Aveline, of all people, but it revealed to him that her revulsion of blood magic is much stronger than he initially realized.

"You have never said it directly, but I've had suspicions for awhile... is Merrill a blood mage," Orsino asked as he set the dishes in the basin, and summoned his magic to fill it with water.

Hawke frowned, but nodded. "She is. I was sort of tricked into bringing her to Kirkwall, and though I have managed to remain sociable with her, I do not agree with the choices she has made, and I don't ever see myself calling her a friend. She has a kind soul, but she's very naive. I know she would never intentionally harm anyone, but she refuses to heed the warnings that she's been given. I don't think she truly understands the difference between spirits and demons, or how much danger she is to herself, and those around her."

Orsino nodded, and continued washing the dishes in silence. He wondered why a young Dalish mage would turn to blood magic. From what he knew of the Dalish, they were a very simple, and unified people. They didn't yearn for power, or riches. They didn't strive for war, and humans left them alone for the most part, as long as the clans didn't tarry in one place for too long. He shrugged mentally, a conversation for another day.

He handed Hawke the last dish for her to dry, and put up. A quick flash of magic dried and warmed his hands, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'm going to go prepare a bath, would you like to go first, or shall I?" Hawke leaned back against his chest, and looked up into his eyes, a playful smile on her lips. "I don't see why it would be necessary to take turns," she said softly. "The bathtub is plenty big enough for the both of us."

Orsino smiled and pressed his lips to hers, before trailing them across her jaw, and down her neck. "Then I will prepare a bath, and await you to join me"

* * *

><p>Hawke rested her head on Orsino's chest, and stared into the hearth across the room. "Orsino?"<p>

"Yes dear," he asked as he idly ran his fingers through her wet hair.

"Are you originally from Kirkwall, or were you sent here," she asked softly.

"I was born in Tantervale, and I was sent to the Circle in Starkhaven as a young child. I don't really recall much of my life before that. I was a Senior Enchanter when I was sent here, a little over ten years ago, and I offered to take on the position of First Enchanter not long after that. My predecessor was declining with old age, and no one else wanted the position. I'm sure Meredith was the cause of that."

Hawke nodded, and trailed her fingers gently across his chest. "Do you not remember your family at all?"

Orsino's hand stilled in her hair, and Hawke tilted her head up to look at him. "I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean to..."

Orsino shook his head, and smiled, "You're quite alright, my dear. I'm just not used to anyone caring enough to ask such questions. I don't recall anything more than a few memories of faces, or voices, except for my older brother. He began sending me letters shortly after I arrived in Starkhaven, and we have continued to keep in touch ever since."

Hawke smiled, and lifted herself up on her elbow to kiss his lips. "Do you think you could get out of your office a little early tomorrow? I decided earlier that I need a quiet day, after yesterday and today. I have a couple of things to do in the morning, but then I can come back here, and wait for you."

A devious smile spread on his face, and Orsino gently bit her bottom lip. "I could probably be persuaded to try."

Hawke hummed in approval. "And what... would I have to do... to persuade you..." she asked between kisses.

Orsino chuckled, and rolled them both over, propping his weight up on his elbows as he smiled down at her. "I'm sure I can think of something," he replied.

Hawke giggled softly, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you," she whispered softly. "And I love you," he replied, before claiming her lips in a slow passionate kiss.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Forgot to mention before, that Orsino's past is purely based off of my imagination. The only thing we know for sure about him is that he is not from Kirkwall, so I took it upon myself to make up a back-story. :)


	11. Afterlife

**Disclaimer**: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p

* * *

><p><em>Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen<br>So unsure but it seems, 'cause we've been waiting for you_

_I see a distant light, but girl, this can't be right_  
><em>Such a surreal place to see, so how did this come to be<em>  
><em>Arrived too early?<em>

_And when I think of all the places I just don't belong  
>I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far<em>

_I don't belong here, we gotta move on, dear  
>Escape from this afterlife<br>'Cause this time I'm right, to move on and on  
>Far away from here<br>_  
>~*~ <em>Afterlife - Avenged Sevenfold<em> ~*~

Orsino awoke with a start. His eyes flew open, and his hand bumped into a large stack of parchment, sending it scattering all over the floor. He blinked his eyes a couple of times as he took in his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was laying in bed with Hawke in his arms, both of them sated from hours of making love, and his mind slowly drifting off towards the Fade. Now he was staring at his desk in his office, and not sure how, or when he got there.

A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts, and he wiped a hand down his face to clear the last vestiges of sleep. "Come in," he called as he pushed his chair back, and stood. He heard the handle turn, but decided the door must have been locked, because it didn't open. Sighing, he stepped around the edge of his desk, and walked across the small space to unlock the door, and pull it open. When he saw who was on the other side, he groaned, and forced a semi-polite expression.

* * *

><p>Hawke slowly drifted into consciousness. Her teeth were clattering together, and her entire body was shivering uncontrollably. She reached out next to her, and when her fingers touched dirt and rocks, instead of the soft sheets and warm body she was expecting, she forced her eyes to open. She tried to summon a small flame, but her connection to the fade was too distant. She knew that she had to get up, had to move, or she risked freezing to death.<p>

She crawled up onto her knees, and then pushed up on her feet. Her arms wrapped around herself, and she began taking small steps in the darkness. As she paced in a small circle to get her blood flowing again, she tried to remember what had happened. The last thing she remembered was Orsino's arms wrapped around her, the rise and fall of his chest under her head, and the sound of his heart beating in her ear. Now she wasn't sure where she was, how she got there, and more importantly, why she couldn't cast.

* * *

><p>"First Enchanter, might I have a word with you," Meredith asked harshly.<p>

Orsino's eyes narrowed at her tone. "I'm listening, Knight-Commander," he replied as calmly as he could manage.

A strange look flickered on Meredith's face, and she stepped closer. She was now standing entirely too close for his comfort, and it took all of his willpower not to send her flying into the wall behind her, or incinerating her where she stood.

"In your office, Orsino," she growled dangerously. Orsino's rage was growing by the second. Her aggressive attitude was enough to rouse a few sparks on any given day, but this was the first time she'd dared to stand so close, and he wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to control himself.

After a moment he finally managed to turn his back to her, and walk back towards his desk. When the door slammed shut behind him, he snapped back around, and flames sparked at his fingertips. Meredith's eyes were widened in surprise, and her back pressed against the door, as she tried to back away from him.

A very small part of Orsino's brain registered that something was wrong with this picture, that she could just sever his connection to the Fade, but the rest of his brain was too distracted with the delight he felt from seeing the fear in her eyes, and knowing that he was the cause of it.

* * *

><p>"<em>Orsino?"<em>

Something was wrong. He wasn't answering, but she could feel his unbridled rage. She'd never seen him angry before, but his emotions were nearly overwhelming her own.

The sound of heavy footsteps nearing, snapped Hawke out of her thoughts, and she stopped pacing. A soft light reflected off of the rocky walls surrounding her, and she realized that she was in a cave. A templar rounded the corner, and stopped when he saw her standing.

"Your awake, I see. I... brought you a blanket. It's pretty cold out here, and I thought you might need it."

Hawke's eyes widened in recognition as he spoke. Even with his helmet on, she made out his voice. "S- Ser K-Keran? Wh-What's going on? Where am I," she managed to stutter.

Keran's shoulder's slumped slightly, and he reached up to remove his helmet. "I'm sorry about this Serah Hawke. I didn't want to do this, but the Knight-Commander threatened to strip me of my rank if I didn't follow her orders."

Hawke frowned, and looked around her, now that she could see. "I s-saved your life, and de-defended you so that you c-could remain a templar, and this is h-how you repay me?"

She was beginning to panic. She was still freezing, her magic was out of reach, and her staff was leaning against the opposite wall behind Keran. Even if she could manage to get passed the templar and reach it, she didn't think she'd be strong enough to fend him off in her weakened state. And what of Orsino, did he know where she was? Was that why he was so angry?

Keran took a step forward, and held the blanket out to Hawke. "Please wrap this around you. It will help with the chill, until I can get a fire started," he said with a pleading look.

Hawke grimaced, but snatched the blanket from his grasp, and wrapped it around her. She went back to her pacing while watching Keran trying to get a fire started.

"Do we have to stay here," she asked once she'd stopped shivering. "If you're taking me to the Gallows, let's just go. I won't cause any trouble."

Keran frowned, and shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Serah."

"Why not," she shot back angrily.

"I... I just can't," Keran replied sadly.

Keran finally got the fire to ignite. He sat down next to it to, and watched Hawke carefully as she continued to pace back and forth, trying to piece together what she knew of the situation. She was in bed, then woke up in a cold and damp cave. Her connection to the Fade is severed, probably caused by Keran. From the soft crashing sound of waves that she could make out from the exterior of the cave, she guessed that she was on the Wounded Coast.

Had Keran captured her on his own? If so, she must have been alone as well, but that would mean that she had been captured inside the city, and brought to the coast... A wave of fear rushed through her as she came to a conclusion.

Meredith meant to get rid of her without anyone knowing. If they were going to kill her, they would have already done so, which only left one other option.

Hawke laughed humorlessly, "I'm guessing Meredith plans to make a hefty sum selling me off to Tevinter slavers."

"Macha wouldn't be very proud of her brother, if she knew what he was doing right now," she added bitterly.

Hawke walked to the wall opposite the fire from Keran, and slid down it, hugging her knees to her chest. If she was going to try to escape, she would have to think of something quickly. The slavers would probably arrive at first light.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." She heard Keran whisper.

* * *

><p>"<em>Zalandra?"<em>

Something was wrong. He could feel her distress, but she wasn't answering him, and that only proved to fuel his anger more.

"What do you want," Orsino asked impatiently.

Meredith regained her composure, and took a step closer. A wicked grin slowly spread on her lips, "Why so angry, Orsino? You seem awfully stressed today. Perhaps your mage _whore_ isn't doing a good enough job satis..."

Orsino saw red. One slender hand shot out in front of him, and slammed Meredith backward, pinning her helplessly to the door. His fingers slowly curled into a fist, and she let loose an excruciating scream.

"Let me go," she gasped through the pain.

Orsino sneered, and eyed her dangerously over the ball of flames swirling in his other hand. "You knock on my door with your ever-present blustering, demanding entrance to my office, and crowding my personal space. You slam my door to incite my anger further, and then you _dare_ to open your mouth, and spew derogatory remarks about the woman I love... and you want me to just let you go?"

"I think not," he scoffed. "I have put up with your incessant taunting long enough, Meredith. You have despised me since the day I arrived in Kirkwall, and now... now I am going to give you a _reason_ to despise me. You are going to tell me what you know about my personal relationship. You are going to tell me where you got the information, and you are going apologize for your vile remark. If you do not tell me what I want to know, you will not make it out of this room alive... Do I make myself clear?"

Another shrill cry rang out as he tightened his fist again. When he finally relaxed his grip, Meredith leveled a glare at him. "I will tell you nothing, _mage_. You know you won't get away with this. Even if you kill me, you will die soon after. You will never see your precious whore..."

She screamed in agony once more as his fist tightened a third time. Meredith was right of course. He'd gone too far, but he was determined to get the information he wanted. He had to know if Hawke was in danger, no matter what his fate might be in the end. Had she already been captured? Is that why she was so distressed?

* * *

><p>The sound of another set of footsteps approaching brought Hawke a sliver of hope that her companions had found her, but when Keran didn't show any concern as they drew closer, her hoped faded once again. Another templar rounded the corner a minute later. He looked at her, and then Keran, before he approached, and pulled her up by the arm. She hissed quietly as the metal of his gauntlet dug into her flesh, and he loosened his grip slightly. The blanket fell to the ground, and once she was on her feet, he began pulling her towards the cave exit.<p>

"Ser Hugh, what are you doing," Ser Keran asked as he climbed to his feet. "Our orders were to keep her here until morning."

The other templar stopped, and tilted his head slightly towards her. "Can you cast," he asked low enough for only her to hear. Hawke quickly tested her connection to the fade again. "It is coming back, but it's still weak. I won't be able to do much for at least another hour," she whispered back.

The templar shifted to look back at Keran, "How about a sleep spell, or paralysis? Just something to give us a few minutes head start." Hawke nodded in response, and the templar nodded as well. "Do it."

Her magic flickered to life, and she launch the spell at Keran. His eyes went wide for a brief second before he fell to his knees, and Hawke ran forward to keep him from falling flat on his face. She laid his head gently on the ground, and stood back up. When she turned back to the other templar, he was holding her staff for her to take.

Hawke hurried back to him, took her staff with a small smile, and the templar led her out of the cave by her arm. She thought she'd recognized the templars voice, but he had spoken too quietly for her to be sure.

"Are you here to help me, or do you have some other plan for me," she asked quietly, as he lead her down the dark path. "I'm here to help," he answered shortly, still too quietly for her to make out who it was, but she was positive that she knew him. "Will you tell me who you are then, so that I will know who to thank for my rescue?"

Her arm was yanked harder, as the templar hastened his pace, "Not until you are out of danger."

They walked for another thirty minutes or so before the templar pulled her off the path through a small copse of trees, and into a hidden cave on the other side. There was a small lantern sitting near the center of the cave, and next to it was a small pile of wood. The templar released her arm, and gestured towards the pile of kindling on the ground.

"You want me to light a fire," she asked, and he nodded in return. Hawke walked forward, and knelt as she summoned a small flame. Once the fire was burning steady, she sat down a few feet away from it, and laid her staff on the ground next to her.

His armor creaked as the templar crouched, and sat down next to her. Hawke watched silently as he unclasped each of his gauntlets, and laid them next to him. Then he reached up, and removed his helmet.

A small smile spread on Hawke's lips. "I should have known it was you," she said softly.

Cullen smiled in return, "I'm sorry if I hurt your arm earlier. I didn't have much time to get you out of there, before Ser Hugh returned."

"Don't worry about it," she replied with a shake of her head. "And thank you for coming for me. I'm not even sure how I got out here in the first place."

Cullen frowned. "You don't remember what happened this morning?"

Hawke shook her head again, and picked at the hem of her robe. "The last thing I remember was laying in bed, and drifting to sleep. Then I awoke in that cave."

Cullen set his sword on the ground, and shifted to face her. "Hawke, I'm not sure you want me to tell you what happened. It will be hard for you to hear, and I doubt you will believe me. I probably wouldn't either if I were in your place."

Hawke's green eyes drifted up to meet his, and she could see a hint of remorse in his golden brown ones. She gave him a nod so that he would continue, and Cullen nodded in return. "I'm unsure of the details, but somehow the Knight-Commander found out about you. Not only that you were a mage, but also about your relationship with the First Enchanter."

Hawke's eyes widened, and her heart began hammering in her chest. "Is Orsino..."

"I don't know," he interrupted regretfully, with a shake of his head. "He was fine when I left the city a few hours ago, but I have no way of knowing what has happened since."

Cullen gave her a moment to adjust to the news, and then continued.

"Somehow Meredith knew that you were on the coast, and she ordered Ser Hugh and Ser Keran to apprehend you, and hold you in that cave until morning. I didn't find any of this out until hours after they left. I was told that you were with Fenris, your dwarven friend, and the Guard Captain when you set out from the city. The templars caught up with you on the road, and according to my informant... your companions turned you over without a fight."

"That can't be right. They wouldn't..." she choked, and shook her head in disbelief.

How could she believe that her three closest friends would willingly turn her over to the templars. But then, how else could Meredith have found out about her and Orsino. Fenris and Aveline were the only two that knew, outside of the family. Could they really have betrayed her after years of loyal friendship, and always being there to help whenever they had asked. Why couldn't she remember any of what had happened?

* * *

><p>Orsino's eyes widened as sparks began swirling around Meredith, and he found himself suddenly staring at a desire demon. The demon laughed at his surprise, and summoned a fire spell of it's own to toss in his direction. "You have a quite a temper when it comes to your little mage," it taunted.<p>

Orsino threw up a wall of ice in front him, and it cracked and sizzled as the fireball impacted with it. He growled, and threw a paralysis rune at the demon's feet. Orsino summoned a massive fire, and the demon released a deafening wail as it was engulfed by the flames.

The walls of his office began to shift and disperse, "Well this explains why I didn't remember going to my office," he muttered, as he looked around at the dreamy haze of the Fade. To his right, a swirling mass of colored lights caught his attention, and it slowly formed into a small pedestal.

In all of his years, he had never seen a dream so elaborately detailed as the encounter he'd just faced. Something about this trip to the Fade was different, and he aimed to find out what it was. He approached the pedestal, and looked at it closely, before reaching out and placing his hand on the top of it.

* * *

><p>Hawke's head was pounding. She was coming to terms with her friends' betrayal, as well as the danger that she, Orsino, and her family was now in. Her connection to the Fade was nearly back to full strength, and making up her mind, she grabbed her staff, and slowly climbed to her feet.<p>

"Knight-Captain, I can't stay here. If what you say is true, I need to get back to the city immediately. My family, and Orsino is now in danger because of me. I must warn them, and help them flee if I still can."

"Hawke, I realize you are worried, but it's too dark to try to get back to Kirkwall right now..."

"I don't care how _dark_ it is, Cullen. I have to try," she interrupted.

She began walking towards the exit of the cave, and Cullen promptly got to his feet. "Hawke stop! We must wait until morning."

Hawke stopped, and turned back to face him. "Cullen, I can't just sit here while my family, and lover are in danger. I have to..."

The sound of soft, but hurried footsteps behind her, caused her to stop mid-sentence.

"Zalandra?"

Hawke spun around at the sound of his voice. Orsino eyed her from a distance, not sure if this was another demon's trick, or if somehow it really was her.

"Orsino, you're okay! What happened? How did you find me," she asked as she walked closer to him. Orsino took a step back from her, and she stopped cold.

Seeing the pain in her face was enough for Orsino to believe it really was her. He took a step forward, and brushed a finger down her cheek.

"Do you love me," he inquired quietly. Hawke's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "You know that I love you, why would you..."

She was cut off by his lips pressing against hers. "I just had to make sure it was really you."

"Really me," she asked, still confused. "Why would you think I wasn't?"

"Because we are in the Fade, my dear. All of this is some elaborate dream that we are stuck in together."

Hawke nodded in agreement as she realized what he was saying made sense. That explained everything... the reason she couldn't remember being on the coast, and being captured. The reason Cullen showed up to gain her trust, and told her that her friends betrayed her, and the reason Orsino couldn't hear her when she tried speaking to him.

A rumbling chuckle from behind her caused Hawke to spin around again. A rage demon now stood where the Knight-Captain had been just a moment before. Hawke and Orsino simultaneously shot an ice bolt at the demon, and Orsino finished it off by shattering it with a crushing prison of telekinetic force.

"This is no ordinary dream," she whispered mostly to herself.

Orsino turned her around, and pulled her into his chest. "No, it is not. Something, or someone, powerful is behind this. I have a terrible feeling that this was somehow meant for you. To trap you in the Fade for an extended period of time, or in an attempt to have you possessed."

"What makes you think that," she asked uneasily.

"It... I just don't think that I was an anticipated participant. We have already seen that our bond extends further than we initially expected, and it would not surprise me if it was responsible for my presence here now."

Hawke buried her face into Orsino's neck, and he tightened his embrace. He had never known her to be afraid in the face of danger, but he could feel her fear radiating through him, as surely as his blood flowed through his veins, and it tore at his heart.

"We need to focus on getting out of here. Time doesn't exist in the Fade in the way it does in the mortal realm. We have no way of knowing how long we have already been here, and I dread to think what would happen if the Knight-Commander found us trapped in this state."

Hawke nodded weakly, and allowed him to pull away. Orsino intertwined his fingers with hers, and led her to the pedestal that had appeared.

"Are you ready," he questioned. Hawke took a deep breath to steel herself, and looked up at him. "I'm ready," she answered calmly, and Orsino pulled up their linked hands to touch the surface of the pedestal

* * *

><p>They next found themselves standing in the Gallows courtyard, but this time their was no guise of a familiar face awaiting them.<p>

"Focus on taking them out, love. I will focus on keeping us alive," Hawke called out as she summoned a healing aura, and then manifested a shield around them.

Orsino looked around them quickly, before tossing several fireballs into the closest group of shades. They couldn't remain where they stood, there were too many enemies.

"Can you focus on maintaining your spells while moving," Orsino asked as he stepped up behind her, and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Yes," she replied shortly.

Orsino's free hand continued loosing spells at the shades that were slowly advancing on their position, and he began leading her backwards. He didn't stop until they reached his intended location. No mage liked to be cornered in a fight, but it was much preferable to being overwhelmed by enemies from all sides.

Hawke gritted her teeth as even more shades began to appear, and she dropped the healing aura to focus on picking off the shades that ventured too close to them.

A large maelstrom of energy formed in the center of the courtyard, and Hawke noticed that the shades were being pulled into it. Then her eyes widened as fire and lightening fell from the sky, obliterating everything in it's perfectly controlled path. "Maker's breath," she whispered to herself. She had sensed Orsino's raw power, and she knew that he was more talented than most mages she'd ever met, but she was just now seeing how truly powerful he was.

When the last enemy fell, the Gallows began to dissolve back into the hazy plains of the Fade. Hawke turned to face her lover, placed her hands on his cheeks, and her eyes slipped closed. Orsino gasped as her magic swept through him. He suddenly felt invigorated, his energy and stamina restored to new heights. When the spell faded, her eyes slowly opened, and she smiled adoringly up at him.

Despite their disturbing circumstances, Orsino couldn't help the swell of his heart as he stared into her eyes. She had such a brilliant smile, a compassionate heart, and resourceful mind. In his eyes, she was the very definition of beautiful, in every sense of the word.

"We should move on," she said softly, and he nodded in response.

* * *

><p>Touching the pedestal took them to another island of the fade. They walked hand-in-hand towards the center of the island, and the singular being that stood there.<p>

"A sloth demon," Hawke whispered, and Orsino nodded slightly. Sloth demons were capable of controlling other demons, and they both knew that it was probably responsible for this whole ordeal.

"What do we have here," asked the demon in an amused tone. "A rebellious minion? And somehow you managed to bring a friend with you. That is against the rules, you know. The two of you are quite brazen, but playtime is over. You both have to go back now."

Orsino's eyes narrowed. "You will not keep us here! You can release us willingly, or you can die as your minions have."

"If you go back quietly, I'll do better this time," the demon drawled. "I'll make you both much happier."

"We make our own happiness, Demon. There is nothing you could offer that would interest either of us," Hawke snarled.

The demon laughed wickedly, and they both backed up as pride demon appeared behind the sloth demon. "You wish to battle me? Then you must survive," and the sloth demon vanished.

"Bloody hell," Hawke muttered under her breath, and summoned the strongest shield she could muster. Demons of pride were highly intelligent, as well as the most powerful. She could only hope that her shield would hold long enough for Orsino to destroy it.

A blue swirl of magic appeared at their feet, and Orsino swiftly wrapped an arm around her, and pulled her out of it.

"Shit," Hawke swore as she stumbled, but Orsino held on to her until she managed to regain her balance.

A fireball was heading straight for them, and she braced her shield for impact, but a wall of ice sprouted from the ground to intercept it. The demon growled angrily. A barrage of fireballs pounded into the ice wall, melting it away inch-by-inch, until the only thing protecting them was the shield Hawke was desperately trying to maintain against the assault. She released a vicious cry as her shield began to weaken. She closed her eyes, and began reciting one of the few verses of the Chant of Light that she knew. "Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked, and do not falter. Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just."

Orsino drew in a deep breath, and pulled his magic from deep within. He tossed a quick spell to terrify and stun the demon, and then a stream of fire and lightening spewed forth from his hands. The demon thrashed, and wailed as Orsino held the powerful stream. His brow creased in concentration, and sweat began to bead across his forehead.

Orsino was beginning to pale from his exertions, his strength was draining quickly, and the demon's magical barrier was not draining fast enough. Hawke dropped her nearly diminished shield, and pushed out a burst of magic to dispel the barrier. In a matter of seconds the demon fell with a loud thundering crash, and it burst into flames.

Hawke wrapped her arms around Orsino's waist. "If I replenish your energy, can you take the sloth demon by yourself," she asked wearily.

Orsino hesitated for a moment, before nodding his head. He knew that maintaining the shield around them had greatly weakened her. Replenishing his energy, would drain any strength she had left, leaving her defenseless, but he also knew that he would need it in order cast again. Hawke closed her eyes, and reached for all that remained of her power. Orsino gasped once again, at the rush of her magic flowing through him.

When the sloth demon returned, Orsino attacked immediately. Shards of ice flew through the air, slicing through the demon like millions of tiny daggers, and large fireball finished it off quickly.

Hawke's spell slowly dwindled, and he felt her weight bearing into him. One arm wrapped around her, holding her tightly to his chest, and the other grabbed one of her hands, and touched the newly formed pedestal.

* * *

><p>Orsino's eyes flew open, and he found himself laying in bed. Hawke was laying on his chest, and she was still unconscious. He quickly rolled her on to her back, and climbed out of bed. He pulled open one of the drawers of his desk, grabbed a two lyrium potions, and returned to the bed.<p>

He pulled Hawke into his lap, and tilted her head back. Then he pulled the small cork out of the first vial with his teeth, and slowly began to drip it onto her tongue. When the vial was empty he set it down, and pulled the cork from the next one.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she tried to raise up to look around, but he shook his head. "Drink," he said softly, as he placed the second vial to her lips. After she drained the second one, Orsino placed both empty vials on his table, and then wrapped his arms tightly around her. All Orsino could think about was the fact that he could have lost her tonight. A very powerful blood mage was after her, and she would continue to be in danger until they were stopped.

"DuPuis," he muttered under his breath.

"No," Hawke said quietly.

Orsino's eyebrows rose as she pulled away from him, and crawled to the other side of the bed. She picked up her robe from the floor, and pulled it on as she walked around the bed to stand in front of the hearth. Orsino pulled on his trousers, and stepped up behind her. He slipped his arms around her waist, and she leaned back into his chest.

"I didn't believe Gascard's story about his sister, but I still don't think he's the killer. He said that the killer was a powerful blood mage, and what we just experienced is evidence of that. My theory is that Gascard knows the killer personally. A friend, or an apprenticeship perhaps... but this man did something to anger Gascard, and he wants revenge. That's why he tried to lure the killer to him, and why he didn't want to involve the City Guard."

Hawke grew silent for a few minutes, and stared into the dying flames.

"I need to talk to Gascard again. I need to see if I can get more information from him. This killer needs to be found, and executed, before he can harm anyone else."

Orsino closed his eyes, and pressed his cheek against her hair. "Zalandra, please don't get involved in this anymore than you already are. Go to Aveline in the morning, tell her what you just told me, and allow her and the templars to continue this investigation," he pleaded.

Hawke sighed softly, and turned around to face him. "I will go talk to Aveline, but I can't promise that I will stay out of it, Orsino. If I find another lead, I will have to follow it. This man is too dangerous for me to turn my back, and walk away. He needs to be stopped at all cost..."

"Not if that cost is your life," Orsino interrupted.

Startled by the anger in his voice, Hawke's eyes widened, as she stared up into his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, and placed his hand on he cheek. "I just... the thought of losing you..."

Hawke silenced him by pressing her lips to his. The kiss quickly grew hungry, and desperate. Fueled by the residual anxiety of their time in the Fade, and the elation they felt to have escaped unharmed.

Hawke pulled her robe off her shoulders, and let it fall to the floor. Orsino lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He reached for the ties of his trousers as he walked, and they fell to the floor just before he crawled onto the bed.

Unlike the slow, gentle caresses of their lovemaking earlier in the evening, their coupling was hurried, and frantic. The brutal pace they set rushed them both to their peak, and they fell over together with strangled, breathless cries of pleasure. When Orsino's breathing returned to normal, he raised up on his elbows, and captured her lips in a slow sensual kiss.

"Promise me, that you will be cautious," he said, pulling back to stare in her eyes.

"I promise," she replied sincerely, as she raked her fingernails gently up and down his back.

"There's still a couple of hours before first light. We should try to get some rest," Orsino stated after a few minutes.

Hawke shook her head, "I have no desire to return to the Fade any time soon."

"I can cast a sleep spell, and prevent you from entering the Fade."

"You promise to wake me before you leave," she asked quietly.

"Of course," he replied as he climbed off of her, and pulled her against his side.

"If you had not been there with me..." Hawke started quietly, but stopped and shook her head. "I love you, and thank you," she said, and kissed his chest, before resting her head.

"I love you too," Orsino whispered, and wisp of magic flowed from his fingers, sending her into a deep sleep.

He would spend the rest of the night worrying, and trying to think of a way to locate the killer, before he tried to harm Hawke again.


	12. I'll Be

**Disclaimer**: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belongs to Bioware. Chapter title's are song titles from various artists because they fit - and because I was too lazy to make up my own. :p

* * *

><p><em>The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful<br>Stop me, and steal my breath_

_And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky  
>Never revealing their depth<em>

_Tell me that we belong together, dress it up with the trappings of love  
>I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips<br>Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_

_~*~ Edwin McCain - I'll be ~*~_

Orsino sat in his office staring at the closed door, unconsciously tapping his fingers on his desk. He'd spent the first couple of hours of his morning searching for spells to counter against blood magic, specifically one to prevent the events of the previous night from happening again. He'd found what he was looking for, as well a few other things of interest, but over half of what he discovered required the use of blood magic, and that was not an option.

"Unless Hawke would be willing to ask Merrill for help..." he muttered quietly. Orsino shook his head in response to his own absurd thoughts. Hawke would never agree to such a thing... not that he cared for the idea any more than she would.

A soft knock at his door drew his attention, and he glanced at his bookshelf to ensure that he had replaced the book he had been reading earlier, before calling out. "Come in."

The door slowly pushed open, and a young mage apprentice stood shyly in the doorway. He recognized the small girl, she'd been brought in by the templars a couple of weeks ago.

"F-First Enchanter," she said nervously. "I was asked to give this to you."

Orsino stood from his chair, and walked around his desk. When he reached the young girl he knelt in front of her, and tilted her face up to look at him. He smiled at her, and she slowly smiled back. "Thank you, Katelyn. Do you think you could do me a favor?" Katelyn nodded her head, and her smile grew wider.

"The next time I see you... I want to see this beautiful smile of yours, instead of the top of your head," he said. Katelyn giggled, and nodded her head again. "I can do that, First Enchanter."

"Good girl," he said as he patted her head. "Now go on, and get back to your studies." Katelyn whirled around, and sped out of his office, and Orsino stifled a chuckle as she nearly bumped into the Knight-Captain in her rush.

"I'm sorry, Ser," she sputtered nervously. Ser Cullen couldn't help but to smile, and nodded his head. "That's quite alright little one, just be more careful in the future."

"Yes Ser," she replied quickly, and continued her rush down the hall. Cullen glanced at Orsino, and they shared a small laugh before he continued down the hall.

Orsino returned to his desk, and slid open the seal on the missive. He stared blankly at the parchment for several minutes before he finally began to make out the cramped handwriting. "You sure have a propensity for odd and disturbing reading material," he mused aloud.

"First Enchanter, may I come in?"

Orsino's eyes shot up to Aveline standing in the doorway of his office. "Of course, Guard Captain. Please, close the door, and have a seat."

Orsino had a worried look as she took the chair across from his desk. Aveline noticed his distress, and shook her head. "She's fine," she whispered. Orsino relaxed, and nodded in thanks. "First Enchanter, did Serah Hawke give you any details about the investigation that she had been working on, at the behest of Ser Emeric, when you helped her yesterday?"

"She only told me that she was investigating a string of murders. Though due to the manner of Ser Emeric's demise, it seems likely that a blood mage is the culprit," he replied sourly.

"Yes, well that is why I am here. I have requested your assistance in this matter, and the Knight Commander has given me permission to... _borrow_ you, from now until tomorrow afternoon. Would you be willing to come with me? Arrangements have already been made to shelter you for the night, and I will give you time to finish anything urgent that needs your attention, as well as to gather anything that you'd like to bring with you."

Orsino considered the odd request for a moment, before he nodded his assent. "Very well, Guard Captain. I will come with you, and offer any assistance that I am able." Orsino grabbed a fresh piece of parchment and his quill, and quickly scribbled a response to the missive he'd been reading before she had entered. "I will only need a moment."

Aveline rose from her seat, and walked back to the door. "I'll inform the Knight-Commander, and we'll leave as soon as you are ready."

Orsino folded the parchment, dripped a few drops of wax on it, and pressed his seal into it. Standing from his desk, he pulled several books from his bookshelf. Two of the books he wrapped in a thin cloth, along with the sealed letter, and tied a long string securely around them. He took one final look around his office to see if there was anything else he would need, and he slid his staff on his back before locking, and closing his door behind him.

"... and he has only been a member of the Templar Order for a year, and you want me to trust him with this assignment," he overheard Meredith ranting from her office.

"Knight-Commander, he is my personal preference, but I suppose I don't have a choice but to accept whomever you choose to send," Aveline's voice replied.

"Very well, Guard Captain. If you do not see him in the courtyard, ask Ser Cullen to send for him. I am trusting the two of you to return the First Enchanter back here tomorrow afternoon, without incident, or there _will_ be repercussions."

Orsino grimaced, and fought back the urge to make his presence known with a biting remark. Aveline appeared out of Meredith's office, and she frowned upon seeing Orsino's expression. She pointed down the hall, and they walked towards the courtyard together.

"I'm sorry Orsino," she said quietly once they were well out of hearing range. "She demanded that a templar be sent to keep an eye on you."

"I am not at all surprised, Aveline. I'm guessing you requested Ser Carver?"

Aveline nodded in response, and they continued on in silence. He and Hawke's brother may still not see eye to eye, but Carver was by far the best choice, since he was fairly sure they would be staying at Hawke's estate this evening.

* * *

><p>Hawke sat in front of the hearth in the sitting room of her estate, staring worriedly at her friend brooding in the chair across from her. "Anders, whatever you think of the templars, you can't truly believe that they are all so heartless as to try to make all mages tranquil."<p>

"They're worse," Anders insisted. "There are groups in Kirkwall who help those fleeing the Circle... I've talked to people on the inside. The plan is the work of a templar named Ser Alrik. I've had a run in with him myself, a nasty piece of work. Likes to make mages beg."

Hawke heard a knock at the door, but Bodahn headed through the room to answer it, so she continued her conversation. "What happened between you and Ser Alrik?"

"I've been involved with an... underground resistance. Mages living free in Kirkwall who help others escape. I can't tell you any more... for your sake, and theirs. You have too much involvement with the guard and nobility."

"Anders, you know I would never..." Movement across the room caught Hawke's attention, and she turned to look at the newcomer. "Hello, Aveline. How are you today?"

Behind Aveline, Hawke spotted Orsino and Carver, and her head immediately began to pound. "Bloody hell. This won't be good," she muttered under her breath.

Anders jumped to his feet, and grimaced as he grabbed his staff, and backed away from the trio. "Hawke, how could you?" he growled.

Hawke's eyebrows raised in shock, and she frowned at him, before addressing her servant. "Bodahn, if you would, please show Aveline, Carver, and the First Enchanter to the study, and see if they are in need of refreshments."

"Of course, Messere," Bodahn replied, and ushered the others into the study.

Hawke stood, and turned to face Anders. "Get. Out." she said icily.

"Hawke, I didn't... I just thought..."

"I know what you _thought_, Anders," she interrupted. "Go back to your clinic, and we will speak later." Anders gave her a miserable look, nodded, and headed towards the cellar.

Hawke pinched the bridge of her nose, and sighed. How could Anders even consider the thought that she would betray him. She'd gone out of her way numerous times to help him. Given him a key to her cellar for him to flee through her estate if he needed it. Stood up for him when others condemned him for what he had become...

She closed her eyes tightly, and took several deep breaths. A familiar scent permeated the air suddenly, and her mood mellowed instantly. A single unexpected finger stroked lightly down her cheek, and she inhaled deeply, before releasing a contented sigh. "Have I ever told you how much I love the way you smell?" she breathed.

Soft lips brushed across hers, and she smiled. "And how would you describe my scent," Orsino asked quietly.

Hawke hummed softly, and pressed her lips against his. "A spring thunderstorm, warm and refreshing... a hint of leather, like the binding of an old book; and a whisper of something sweet, like an exotic citrus fruit."

Orsino gently bit her bottom lip, and she moaned as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and her eyes slid open. "When do you have to return? I intend to have at least a small amount of time alone with you before you have to leave."

Orsino kissed her once more before pushing her away, and offering her his arm, which she took happily. "I am free of the Gallows until tomorrow afternoon. I am yours to do with as you please until then, however, Meredith wouldn't let me leave without a templar escort. I'm just happy that Aveline managed to convince her to send your brother." Hawke nodded in agreement as they entered the study.

Carver stood from the chair he had been sitting in, and approached his sister. Hawke let go of Orsino's arm, and wrapped her arms around her brother's neck, as he leaned down to hug her. "How are you, Sister? I heard what happened with Ser Emeric."

"I'm okay, Carver. It's good to see you. How is your training going?"

"It's going well, I suppose" he replied as he pulled away, "but we can talk more before we have to return tomorrow."

Hawke nodded, and smiled. "Aveline, do you have to get back to the barracks, or can you join us for lunch?"

"Unfortunately I need to get back, Hawke. I'll be in my office until later this afternoon, and at the Hanged Man for awhile after that if you need me for anything. First Enchanter, Carver, it was nice to see you both, and try not to kill each other, for Hawke's sake if nothing else."

Hawke chuckled, Orsino smiled, and Carver grimaced at the Guard Captain as she said her farewell, and showed herself out. Hawke led Orsino and Carver back into the sitting room, and slid a third chair up next to the fire so they could all sit and talk until lunch was ready.

* * *

><p>With lunch now over, the estate had grown immensely quiet. Bodahn and Sandal had gone out to do some shopping. Leandra was spending the day with her brother, Gamlen, and Carver had decided to go visit Varric for awhile at the Hanged Man.<p>

Hawke was now sitting in a chair in the study, a book in her lap that Orsino had brought with him, and Orsino was standing behind her, leaning on the back of the chair. "I know why you are showing me this, Orsino, but I don't understand how it's supposed works," Hawke said with slight confusion.

"It doesn't matter _how_ it works, as long as it _does_ work," Orsino replied more gruffly than he had intended.

"Now you're getting frustrated with me. I just don't want..."

"I'm not frustrated with _you_, my dear," he interrupted, and sighed. "I am frustrated with this situation, and I am worried about your safety. I love you, and I will do anything I must, to protect you."

"_Please_ don't say that..." she replied, and dropped her face in her hands.

Orsino looked down at her in confusion for several moments, before he finally figured out what he had said to upset her. He quickly stepped around in front of the chair, slid the book out of her lap, and set it in the opposite chair. Then he pulled her up to her feet, and gathered her close to his chest.

"You mistook my meaning, my dear. I will always do whatever is within my power to keep you safe and at my side, but making deals with demons is not something I consider to be within my power. You need not ever worry yourself with such thoughts."

Hawke looked up at him, and frowned. "I just... I didn't mean..."

Orsino put a finger over her lips. "Hush," he whispered, before replacing his finger with his lips.

* * *

><p>When Anders had returned to his clinic, several patients had been waiting for his return, and he had easily distracted himself by burying himself in his work. Now things had slowed again, and he found himself standing alone in his clinic, with nothing but his aching heart to keep him company.<p>

He had allowed his paranoia to progress to such a point, that he had jumped to the drastic conclusion that Hawke -the one and only person he truly trusted- had betrayed him, and he had hurt her with his accusation. He'd seen the pain in her eyes when she'd told him to leave, and he had never felt more rotten in his entire life than he had at that moment.

He paced the floor for several minutes, debating on whether he should go back to her estate. He didn't think there was anything that he could say that would make things right again, but he felt that he should at least try. Anders sighed, and slid his staff onto his back.

"It's been a few hours. Hopefully her other _guests _have left by now," he muttered to himself as closed the clinic door behind him.

* * *

><p>"Why do you keep looking at me like that," Carver asked, as he shuffled his hand of cards.<p>

Varric set down his mug, and chuckled. "What's your issue now, Little Hawke." He eyed his cards carefully, before discarding one, and drawing a new one.

"Don't call me..." Carver sighed, "Just don't, alright. You're just looking for fodder for another one of your stories." He discarded two of his cards, and drew two in turn.

"You think you're that interesting, Junior?" Varric asked, as he laid a card down on the table.

Carver frowned, and laid a card of his own down. "I have enough trouble being overshadowed as it is. I don't need to get caught under an imaginary _me,_ too."

Varric tilted his head, and grinned at Carver. "Why don't you tell me something about your sister then, Junior? She's been seeing someone hasn't she? So which one is it? The broody elf, or the subversive mage?"

Carver shook his head, "Maker, I hate you dwarf."

"No you don't, Junior, or you wouldn't be here." Varric paused as he laid another card down, and then continued, "Seriously though, _is_ your sister seeing someone? She rarely comes to visit anymore, and from what I hear, she hasn't been at home in the evenings for the past several months either."

"Varric... she is seeing someone, but if she has not told you about it, then it in not my place to tell you either. All I _will_ say is that it's not anyone you know."

"Ohh! I knew I was missing out on some juicy gossip," Isabela cooed from the door of Varric's room. "Come on, Carver, at least give us a hint. Is it a man, or a woman? Human, or elf? Powerful mage, strapping warrior, or a sprightly rogue? We both know that she wouldn't go for any of the incompetent nobles in this city, much to your mother's dismay, I'm sure."

Carver glared first at Isabela, and then at Varric. "Maker, the two of you are incorrigible. She will tell you when, and if she chooses to. You will be getting nothing from me."

Varric grinned, and Isabela giggled. "I think I'll go get me a drink, and bring you another one as well," Isabela said with a devious grin.

* * *

><p>Aveline pulled open the door, and stared with a confused look at the elf outside of her office door. "Can I help you with something, Fenris?"<p>

Fenris grimaced, and gestured inside her office. Aveline stepped aside, and closed the door after he entered. After she returned to her seat at her desk, she noticed that Fenris appeared to be on edge more than usual, which she found to be a very disturbing thought.

"What's wrong, Fenris?" Are the nobles harassing you again? Children tossing rocks through the windows of the mansion?" Mages performing blood rituals on your doorstep?" Fenris sneered at the last comment, and she smirked.

"Hawke's humor is rubbing off on you as well, it seems," Fenris muttered. "I am sorry to come here like this, Aveline, but that Dalish... _girl_ knocked on my door about an hour ago. She wanted to report a something that happened in the alienage, but she said that she was afraid to come to the keep alone, and she didn't think Hawke wanted to see her. Though I truly can not imagine why she was more afraid to come here, than she was to knock on _my_ door..."

"I can't either, but thank you for not ripping out Merrill's heart, and leaving her laying in the streets of Hightown for me to deal with," Aveline said evenly. "Did she tell you what she wanted to report?"

"It was something to do with templars. She said a group of them were in the alienage this morning threatening people with what they would do to them, and their families, if they were found harboring mages. They were apparently being more forceful than necessary... or it could just be them doing their jobs, and she is just afraid of being caught. She is still at my mansion by the way, much to my annoyance. She wished to remain in case you wanted to speak with her."

Fenris shrugged nonchalantly, "If it weren't for Hawke, I would have already informed the templars where to find her, and the abomination."

"I know, Fenris," Aveline replied tiredly. "You and me, both."

* * *

><p>Anders exited the cellar, and looked around before walking further into the sitting room of Hawke's estate. Bodahn and Sandal appeared to be absent, which told him that Hawke was probably alone, or she had left as well. The sound of whispered words, and a soft feminine laugh coming from the study, made him rethink his initial assumption, however.<p>

He crept silently to the door of the study, and peered around the frame. Hawke was sitting in someone's lap, her back to him, and she was blocking his view of the man with her, but it only took him a moment to figure out who it was. Long, slender fingered hands, lit with magic, wrapped around her, and pulled her into a kiss.

His breath caught, and though seeing her in the arms of someone else broke his heart, his anger began to rise rapidly. He could feel Justice trying to push forth, and he tried desperately to tamp the spirit back down. "No! I will not allow you to take control, and risk harming her," he whispered harshly, as he pushed Justice back.

Hawke and Orsino both heard the whispered words, and broke their kiss to investigate the sound. Hawke was the first to the door, glowering at Anders, while Orsino stood next to her with an annoyed look.

"Well... go on Anders, out with it," Hawke said calmly.

Anders' anger dropped momentarily, as he gave her a confused look. "Out with what?"

Hawke sighed, and shook her head. "Well it could be a number of things, really. Why you decided to come back, instead of waiting for me to come see you? Why you were sneaking around my house, instead of announcing your presence? Why you were spying on us from the door? Or you can go ahead with the inevitable ranting lecture that is going to come from you finding out who I have been seeing. The first three are optional at this point, but if you're going to go on with the last, I'd rather just get it over with now."

Hawke knew that she had incited Anders' anger, when the blue sparks of energy began to shine through cracks in his skin. "Anders... I suggest you reign it in before you do something you'll regret... or get yourself killed," Hawke stated sternly. Orsino's mouth dropped open in shock. He was not quite sure what he was witnessing, but his lover did not seem concerned, so he stayed his hand for the time being.

Anders slowly regained control of himself, and he frowned at Hawke. "I'm sorry... for nearly losing control, and for spying, and for sneaking in, and for what I said to you earlier. That is why I came back. I had to apologize. I knew it wouldn't fix anything, but I had say it anyway. As for you and... _him..._"

"Orsino," she interjected.

"I know what his name is, but I don't care, Hawke. He is a traitor to our people. He helps the templars, and the chantry lock people like us up in that _prison_. How could you willingly socialize with someone like that?"

"Orsino is not a traitor to mages, Anders, he protects them... from themselves, and from the templars. As for helping the templars catch them, I have done my fair share of that as well. Not all mages can be trusted to be free. The Tevinter Imperium is more than enough proof of that, not to mention the countless number of corrupt mages we have had to kill in this Maker forsaken city in the past two years."

Hawke stepped closer to her friend, and gave him a sorrowful look. "Every man deserves to be judged for who, and what they _are _Anders, not what they _used_ to be, or what they have the _potential_ to be. You of all people should understand that."

Anders' anger vanished once again, and he eyed Orsino warily. After a quiet moment, he reached his hand out to the elven mage. "She has a point. I have judged you unfairly, and for that I apologize. I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. If she trusts you, then I will try to as well."

Orsino nodded, and accepted Anders' handshake. "Thank you, Anders. I doubt that you and I will have too many opportunities to speak, but when we do have the time, I look forward to getting to know you," Orsino replied cordially.

Hawke eyed Anders suspiciously, trying to decide whether he was putting on an act, or if his words were genuine. This scene seemed incredibly out of character for Anders, and she couldn't help but to think that maybe he and Justice saw that a friendship with the First Enchanter could prove a benefit to their cause. That thought made Hawke feel incredibly uneasy.

* * *

><p>The Hanged Man was quiet when they arrived, only the usual drunks present at the bar. "What would you like to drink, love," Hawke asked Orsino as they crossed the tavern floor.<p>

"What do you usually drink," he asked curiously. She chuckled quietly, and shook her head, "A fruity mixed drink that you probably wouldn't care for."

"Well, there's only one way to find out," he replied with a small smile.

Hawke nodded as they approached the bar, and smiled at Corff as he waved to her in greeting. "Serah Hawke! Haven't seen you around much lately, it's good to see you. Would you like your usual?"

"Yes, and make it two please." Hawke heard the door open behind them, and she looked over her shoulder to see who it was. "Corff, I need a glass of your best wine as well, please," Hawke called to the bartender, and he nodded in return.

"Hawke." Fenris greeted as he stepped up beside her. "Hello Fenris, I'm glad you decided to come." Fenris glanced at Orsino, and acknowledged him only with a curt nod, before turning his attention to the bartender who was setting their drinks on the bar.

"Thank you, Corff," Hawke told him appreciatively. "You're welcome, Serah. I'll start you a tab for the evening, and I believe your brother is still here visiting Serah Tethras upstairs, if you're looking for him." Hawke nodded in thanks.

Hawke handed Fenris his glass of wine, who thanked her, and handed Orsino one of the mixed drinks with an expectant look. He took a tentative sip of the drink, and let it roll around on his tongue for a moment before he swallowed. "I would have expected it to be much sweeter, but it has a pleasant bite it."

Fenris grumbled something under his breath, and headed towards the stairs. Hawke laughed, and pulled Orsino along to follow him. "Fenris decided to try it one night, and I honestly thought he was going to be ill afterward," she told Orsino quietly. Fenris grumbled something else, and both of the mages laughed as they ascended the stairs.

Orsino was dressed in a silk button-down tunic, a pair of black trousers, and black boots. The tunic was dark green in color with an elegant gold trim, and he wore a matching gold sash at his waist. Hawke had given him the clothes to wear after they had decided to go out for the evening, and he had accepted them willingly, knowing that they would allow him to blend in better than the robe he normally wore.

He had soon realized that she had planned for their outing ahead of time, when she emerged from her bedchamber wearing a dress that matched the green of his tunic, also with gold trim, and a gold sash. Orsino had pulled her close, and kissed her, smiling at the thought that she had put into their attire.

If it weren't for his elven heritage, they would have passed as a respectable noble couple. He heard the many scandalous remarks from the gossiping nobles as they had walked through Hightown on their way to the tavern, but he had ignored them. Hawke had given several of them irate looks, along with a few choice words to one man that intentionally tried to provoke Orsino as they walked by.

Orsino had told her not to bother. He was well acquainted with the general outlook of the population about elves, as well as mages. He would never be respected, nor would he ever be accepted into the noble class society, no matter how much Hawke might want it to be otherwise.

He had once pointed out to her that she would be ridiculed for being with him, but Hawke had shrugged, and given him a look of disdain. "I have no desire to be accepted by such contemptuous fools anyhow," she had said bitterly.

Orsino smiled at the memory. She was such a strong-willed, and determined woman. It was no wonder he had fallen in love with her so quickly They were a lot alike, after all.

Hawke took a deep breath as they topped the stairs, and rolled her eyes when she noticed Isabela sitting next to Carver, grinning from ear to ear. She had warned Orsino of Isabela's bawdy nature, but she knew that the ex-ship captain would still manage to embarrass her thoroughly before the evening was over.

"Ooh Hawke, is this the mysterious man you've been rutting for the past several months," Isabela asked as they entered the room.

"Isabela," Hawke groaned.

Isabela giggled, and closed the distance between them. "Well don't you just look good enough to eat," she said to Orsino as she stopped in front of him. "I always knew you had a things for elves, Hawke, even if you wouldn't admit it, but then again, who wouldn't... they're so lithe, and enticing," she cooed, her eyes raking shamelessly over Orsino's form.

"You're a mage, aren't you," Isabela asked after a moment.

"What would make you think so," Orsino asked curiously. The pirate was certainly lewd, and indecent, but he somehow found her to be quite amusing.

"You have a scholarly look about you, and I know Hawke's taste. She wouldn't be rutting someone that wasn't confident, intelligent, and capable of defending himself."

Orsino smirked at her wording, and Hawke rolled her eyes again. A small flame came to life in the palm of Orsino's hand, and Isabela grinned wide at him. "I knew it... and I bet you know some lovely tricks to use in the bedroom," she drawled seductively.

"I'm afraid that will have to be left to your imagination," Orsino replied smoothly.

"Maker's breath," Hawke muttered under her breath. "Isabela, are you quite done," she asked exasperatedly. Isabela giggled again, and drew Hawke into a tight hug. "For now," she said deviously, "but when I come visit you later, I will not stop until I get details."

Isabela let go of Hawke, and returned to her seat next to Carver. Varric was sitting in his usual spot at the end of the table, and Fenris had taken a seat next to him. "Hello Varric," Hawke said as she took the seat next to Fenris, and Orsino sat on the other side of her.

"Hello Hawke, what brought on the sudden get-together tonight? Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

"Well... Orsino and I have been seeing each other for awhile now, and things are quite serious between us. So I thought it was about time that he met the rest of my friends."

"The _rest_? Who else knew who your stud was. Maybe I would have had more luck with them, than I did with your reticent brother," Isabela questioned.

"Aveline has known nearly from the beginning, but you know very well that she wouldn't have told you a thing," Hawke said with a laugh, "and Fenris met him a few days ago."

"You told Lady Man Hands, but didn't tell me?" Isabella whined.

"Is the whore running her loose lips again," came Aveline's voice from the door. Hawke smiled up at the Guard Captain, and Isabela chuckled. "Speak of the prude, and she appears."

Aveline ignored Isabela's comment, and pulled out the chair at the end of the table, opposite Varric. "Did you invite Anders, and Merrill," Aveline asked Hawke as she sat down.

Hawke nodded, and took a sip of her drink, and she could hear Fenris grumbling again, but she ignored him. She couldn't not invite them, Anders had been there when she was sending out the invitations, and Merrill would be heart-broken if she heard about it and had not been invited. "Anders should be here shortly. I'm not sure if Merrill got my message , and if she did, I'm not sure that she'll come."

Anders showed up a few minutes later, and Merrill appeared soon after. They spent the evening drinking, joking, and playing Wicked Grace. Varric recounted some of their previous adventures, and Orsino caught Hawke rolling her eyes, and shaking her head, several times throughout. She'd told him how Varric liked to embellish stories, but he enjoyed hearing more about things she had done since arriving in the city.

Orsino found her friends to be pleasant company, even Anders and Fenris had been cordial, and he had quickly understood why Hawke had such trouble disliking the young Dalish mage. She was naive, and on a horrible path, but she was incredibly sweet, and cared dearly for the companions around her, even the ones that obviously despised her.

* * *

><p>Merrill, Hawke, and Orsino were the last three to leave, and Hawke asked Orsino if he would mind them walking Merrill home so that she wouldn't have to walk alone, and he agreed happily.<p>

"Merrill, I wanted to apologize to you for the other night. I didn't mean to upset you, but you know how I feel about demons, and blood magic," Hawke said quietly as they walked towards the alienage.

"I know, Hawke," Merrill replied with a slight slur. "and it's okay. I just don't have many friends, and with the way you reacted, well I thought you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore, and I didn't... I'm sorry, I'm rambling again."

Hawke and Orsino both chuckled, and Hawke shook her head. "It's okay, Merrill, that's all part of your adorable charm. As far as being your friend, I will continue to be here for you, Merrill, but I will never agree with the path you have taken, and I will always worry about your safety. Demons are not anyone's friend. Even though you mean well, that demon that helped you did so because it wanted something from you. It just hasn't made it known yet."

Merill nodded, and they walked on in silence. When they reached her front door, Merrill gave Hawke a quick hug, "Thank you for walking me home, and it was very nice to meet you Orsino."

"It was my pleasure, Merrill," he replied politely. He wanted to reiterate Hawke's previous words, but he felt that it wasn't his place, nor did he think it would do any good, so he kept his farewell short and simple.

Merrill opened her door, and stepped inside. "Dareth shiral arla, emma felonen."

Hawke smiled, and bowed her head slightly. "Ma serannas, emma felon." Merrill gave her a wide smile, and closed the door between them.

Their return trip through Lowtown was uneventful, but when they rounded the first corner in Hightown, two shady looking men were standing in the middle of the street. Hawke and Orsino stopped several feet away.

"What do we have here," said the taller man of the two. He had a jagged scar below his right eye, and when he smiled, Hawke noticed he was missing most of his teeth.

The shorter man turned to look at them, and he also was missing a few teeth, and he had an eye-patch over his left eye. They were both scruffy looking, and neither looked to have bathed in weeks. "A human noblewoman, with her dirty elven lover... What's a beauty like you, doing with filth like that? No doubt any man in Kirkwall would be happy to warm your bed, sweetheart."

"I suggest that the two of you move out of our way," Orsino said coldly.

"And I suggest not opening your mouths again," Hawke added bitterly.

The two men grinned at each other, and they each pulled daggers from the sheath's on their belts. "I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen," said the taller man. "Since you seem to have lost your senses, love, I'm going to take you home with me, and show you what's it's like to be with a real man... and your friend here... well, perhaps I'll allow him to watch you writhe and scream beneath me, before I kill him."

Fire flew from Orsino's fingertips before another word could be said, and the man with the scar went up in flames. His friend watched in horror as he screamed in agony, before falling to his knees, and then onto his face. The one-eyed man then rushed Orsino, but he fell forward with a heavy thump as ice formed around his feet.

His eyes widened as the ice slowly inched up his legs. When he looked up, it was Hawke standing over him with rage burning in her eyes. "P-please, let me go. I'm s-sorry we threatened you, just please let me live," he begged.

Hawke's eyes narrowed, and the ice stopped spreading. "Apologize to my husband for your contemptible words," she demanded sharply. When the man hesitated, the ice began rising again, "I'm sorry," he wailed. "Please forgive me, Serah. I'll never speak another ill word about an elf again, I swear it."

The ice crawled up a few more inches, just shy of reaching his heart, before it suddenly began to dissipate. Orsino wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "Let's go, emm'asha." Hawke nodded, and allowed him to lead her the rest of the way home.

Bodahn greeted them as they passed through the sitting room of the estate. Hawke waved, but didn't look up at the dwarf as she passed by, and he gave Orsino a worried look. "She just needs some rest," Orsino told him with a reassuring smile. Bodahn nodded, and asked if they needed anything before he retired for the night, and Orsino told him they could manage on their own, before bidding him a pleasant evening.

When Hawk entered her bedchamber, she pulled away from Orsino, and went to light a fire in the hearth. Orsino pushed the door closed quietly, then slowly walked towards her.

"Are you okay," he asked after a moment.

Hawke turned around, reached out for him, and he closed the small distance between them. Orsino opened his mouth to speak, but Hawke shook her head, and her finger pressed against his lips. He remained silent as she removed his belt, and tunic, laid them neatly across the back of a nearby chair, and then she knelt to untie his boots. After she loosened the laces, he pulled her up, slipped them off his feet, and pushed them out of the way.

Hawke placed her hands on his bare chest, and led him backwards until he reached her bed. "Sit," she said quietly, and he did as she asked. Her hands set to work removing her sash, and then working on the laces of her dress. Orsino reached up to help, but she grinned, and swatted his hands away. "I have not given you permission to touch," she said playfully.

Orsino's eyes flickered with amusement as he placed his hands behind him on the bed, and leaned back slightly. "As you wish, my dear."

"I didn't give you permission to speak, either," she said as her dress fell to the floor.

A grin spread across his lips, _"Do I have permission to think?"_

Hawke laughed, and climbed onto the bed behind him. "If you're able to..." she murmured seductively, before closing her lips around the tip of his ear. Orsino sucked in a sharp breath, and his eyes slipped closed. "_Dirth na vhenan'ara..._"

Hawke released his ear, and crawled around to sit next to him on her knees. "Speak to me," she whispered, and pulled his lips to hers, "what does that mean?"

"Tell me your heart's desire," he whispered against her lips. Hawke pulled his closest hand up to cup the side of her face, and stared deeply into his expressive green eyes, "Ma'arnuvenin_, _emma vhenan... I want you, always you," she breathed.

Orsino smiled as he pushed her down on the bed, "You have me... always."

* * *

><p>Dalish translations:<p>

Dareth shiral arla, emma felonen - Safe journey home, my friends  
>Ma serannas, emma felon - Thank you, my friend<br>Dirth na vhenan'ara - Tell me your heart's desire  
>Ma'arnuvenin<em>, <em>emma vhenan - I want you, my heart


	13. Heart of Courage

Disclaimer: Dragon Age II, and it's character's belong to Bioware. Heart of Courage is the title of a track from Two Steps from Hell.

* * *

><p>Hawke awoke from a deep slumber, feeling rejuvenated, and alert. Her eyes flitted open, and she slowly looked over at the other side of the bed.<p>

Orsino was still sleeping soundly, a hint of a smile on his lips, as he drifted peacefully through the fade. She smiled at him as she carefully slid off the edge of the bed. Wanting to allow him the opportunity to sleep in, she quickly pulled on her robe, and slipped out the door without making a sound.

When she reached the dining room she found Carver, and her mother speaking softly over breakfast. A small smile spread on her lips at the sight. She really enjoyed having her brother at home again.

Leandra looked up at her daughter as she entered the room, and smiled. "Good morning, darling. Where is Orsino? Will he not be joining us for breakfast?"

"Good morning, Mama," Hawke said, placing a kiss on her mother's cheek. "Good morning, Carver," she continued, and ruffled his hair, and she laughed quietly at the glare he shot her. "Orsino was still asleep, so I decided to come down and get us some breakfast. It's not often that he gets the chance to sleep in, so I didn't want to disturb him yet."

"Very well, dear," Leandra responded with a nod. "Will the two of you join us for lunch then?"

Hawke nodded, and kissed her mother's cheek again. "I'd like that," she commented before heading towards the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Hawke set the tray of food on the desk in her room, and quietly closed and locked the door. She dropped her robe back on the floor, and eased back into the bed. Orsino stirred as she crawled back under the blankets, and his eyes blinked a few times to ward off the remnants of sleep.<p>

He reached out his arms to pull her against his chest, and he shivered when his skin came in contact with hers. "Why do you feel so cold, my dear," he asked as his hands lit up with magic, and trailed warmth up and down her chilled flesh.

"I went downstairs to get us some breakfast, and it's cold down there," she replied quietly. "I had planned to let you sleep longer, but I couldn't resist crawling back into bed with you."

Orsino pressed his lips to hers, and trailed his fingers down her spine. Hawke wrapped her leg around his, and Orsino placed his hand on the small of her back, pulling her hips flush with his. "Better now," he asked, and kissed her again. "Much better," she whispered, and claimed his mouth in earnest.

A loud knock sounded at the door, and Hawke groaned as she broke the kiss.

"As much as I enjoy having you in _my_ bed for a change, it seems we have more privacy in yours," she muttered as she grudgingly pulled out of his embrace, and climbed out of bed. Hawke grabbed her robe off of the floor, and glared menacing at the door as the doorknob wiggled impatiently.

"Hold your bloody horses," she called as she slipped her robe on, and tied the belt. A click came from the door, and it pushed open before she even took a step closer to it.

Isabela grinned at the glare Hake sent her way, and it grew even bigger when her eyes drifted to Orsino. "I'm so sorry, Hawke. I didn't know you had company," she purred, eyes raking shamelessly down Orsino's chest before returning them to Hawke.

"Well I do," Hawke replied hotly. "Is there a particular reason you felt the need to pick the lock on the door instead of waiting for me to open it."

Orsino repositioned himself on the bed so that he was leaning against the headboard, and Hawke grabbed the tray of food that she had brought up, and set it on the bed next to him, before sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Isabela sauntered into the room, and stopped at the foot of the bed. "I knew you were usually up by now, and I found this amazing hat shop in Lowtown. I wanted you to go shopping with me. I told you last night that I would be coming by..." she winked, "but I didn't know that you would be _entertaining_ this morning."

Hawke rolled her eyes, and reached for a piece of fruit. "If you want me to go shopping with you, it will have to wait until tomorrow, Isabela. I have plans today."

"Is that before, or after, you allow Magic Fingers here to 'Explore your Deep Roads'_?"_ Isabela asked with a giggle.

"Isabela..."

"'Float your frigate_',"_ Isabela continued.

"Isabela, I'm warning you..."

"'Praise your maker'_?" _

Isabela shrieked as she was zapped by a strike of lightening, and doubled over laughing at the redness of Hawke's face.

Orsino chuckled quietly at the scene, and received a glare from his abashed lover. "Not. Helping..." she stated flatly, and he pulled up her hand to kiss the back of it, trying stifle his laughter.

When Isabela finally managed to stop laughing, and caught her breath, she shook her head. "Oh fine," she said with a dramatic sigh. "I'll come back tomorrow," she said, and walked back to the door. Hawke heard the lock click back into place, before the pirate began pulling it closed. "Have fun 'igniting her hearth'_,_ Magic Fingers," she said with a final giggle before closing the door.

Hawke glared at the door again, and then buried her face against her knees. Orsino chuckled again, and squeezed her hand. "You blush such a beautiful shade of pink, my dear. I imagine you would probably flush that same lovely color if you could translate everything I whispered in your ears when you're writhing beneath me," he said in a low sultry tone.

Hawke raised her head to look at him, and his eyes were glimmering with mischief. A grin spread on her face, and soon her robe had found it's way back onto the floor, along with the tray of food.

"Perhaps you should test your theory," she replied as she crawled back into his arms. Orsino moaned contentedly when her body was once again flush against his.

"Perhaps I should," he agreed with an impish grin.

* * *

><p>The rest of their morning flew by much faster than Orsino would have liked. He enjoyed the time they had spent walking through her garden, chatting idly about the cooling weather, and other insignificant things. There was no mentioning of mages, templars, or nobles. No political discussions, or life-threatening dilemma's being examined.<p>

After lunch he expressed a desire to look through a few of the magic tomes in her study, and Hawke aimed to join him, but Carver wanted to speak with her before they had to return to the Gallows. As Orsino flipped through the pages of the books he had spread out before him on the desk, the siblings sat in front of the hearth, speaking quietly amongst themselves.

He overheard small bits of their discussion, but Orsino tried his best to ignore them. It was obvious that Carver did not wish to include him in the conversation.

Orsino glanced up at Hawke occasionally, admiring the way her eyes glittered in the firelight, the shimmer of her lengthy crimson hair, and the soft smile she would offer when she caught him staring.

He found himself flashing back to their encounter in Hightown the night before. He had allowed his rage to emerge unbidden, and the result had been a man left dead in the street. He had felt no guilt about the thug's death, though part of him knew that he should have. His concern had been more focused on what Hawke would think of him after seeing him lose control so rashly.

But his anxiety had been swept away completely when she had voiced a single command, the use of a singular word that had made his heart skip a beat. "Apologize to my husband," she had said. _Husband_... he had not heard the rest, his mind had hung on that word. It repeated over and over in his mind for him to study and devour. He had already been convinced of her love for him, but somehow hearing that one word had given him a sense of certainty that he had not possessed before.

Hands suddenly resting on his shoulders pulled him out of his reverie, and he blinked up at his lover who was now leaning on the back of his chair.

"Daydreaming?" she asked, and kissed his forehead.

"So it seems," Orsino replied, and glanced back towards the fire. "Are you and Carver done speaking?"

"Yes," she answered with a sigh.

"It wasn't a very pleasant conversation, I take it?"

Hawke shook her head, smiled, and kissed his forehead again. "It's not important right now, we can talk about it later. Did you find what you were looking for in those books?"

Orsino turned back to the desk with a look of mild discontent. "Not really. The more I read, the more clear it becomes that the best way to defend one's self against blood magic, is to use blood magic. So it seems that there is little else I can do beyond the spell I cast on you yesterday."

Hawke scanned the pages of the open books, and raised an eyebrow slightly at one of the entries she read. "What about this? If you made a phylactery with my blood, you could track me if..."

"Absolutely not," Orsino cut in. "If a templar found it, they would use it to capture you, and that is a risk I am not willing to take."

"I wouldn't be worried about such a thing happening. You could wear it on a chain around your neck, and no one..."

Orsino stood abruptly from the chair. Hawke gasped as the chair tipped backwards under her weight, and she began to fall forward. Before she had time to react, an arm circled her waist, and she heard the chair slide across the floor. She was spun around in a flash, and backed into the desk. Orsino was pressed against her, his eyes boring down into hers with a fierceness she'd never seen in his moss green orbs.

A small voice in the back of her mind told her that anyone else would be afraid of that look. He was powerful and dangerous, a force to be reckoned with, but she knew that he was no threat to her. She could feel the intense emotions behind his amatory stare. His love for her, the unyielding compulsion to protect her, and the overwhelming desire to abolish any and all who would oppose or harm her.

The fire in his gaze ignited a blaze deep within her, burning hotter than ever before, and yearning for him to ravish, and claim her.

Orsino released a deep growl, and his grip tightened on her hips. She then realized that she had lost control of her herself, allowing him to hear her lascivious thoughts.

Orsino's lips collided harshly with hers, and Hawke's fingers gripped the front of his robe desperately. Her legs turned to jelly, threatening to collapse beneath her, and she was suddenly thankful for the desk digging into the back of her thighs, helping her to remain on her feet.

"Excuse me for interrupting," Aveline announced from the door, and they broke the kiss with a start. Orsino moved his hands to rest flat on the desk on either side of Hawke, and closed his eyes in an attempt to reign in his desire. Hawke looked at Aveline over his shoulder, a frown on her face, as she tried to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry, Hawke, but it's time for me to get Carver and Orsino back to the Gallows. It will do non of us any good if I get on the Knight-Commander's bad side by returning them late," Aveline said with a sympathetic look.

"Does she have any other side," Hawke muttered under her breath, and Orsino chuckled quietly at her off-handed comment. Taking a deep breath, Orsino kissed Hawke gently on the temple, before pulling away, and turning to the Guard Captain.

"You have already stuck your neck out to bring me here, Aveline, I will not ask you to do so any further. Allow me to retrieve my things, and I will join you momentarily."

With a nod, Aveline stepped out of the room. Orsino grabbed Hawke's hand, and pulled, leading her out of the room, and up the stairs to her bedchamber.

Once inside, he closed the door, spun Hawke around, and pushed her against it, pinning her hands above her head.

"You should know that even though I must leave now..." he said before biting the sensitive skin at the juncture of her shoulder and neck, causing her whimper, and arch into him. "I am not finished with you," he continued, "and you should be fully prepared to continue what you started when I see you this evening," he growled into her ear, then pulled away from her to retrieve his belongings from around the room.

Hawke groaned when he pulled away, sighing as her eyes slipped closed, and she leaned heavily against the door.

When Orsino returned, he set his hands on her sides, and brushed his lips gently against hers. "I must go, my dear. The sooner I get back, the sooner I can join you this evening. No doubt, Meredith has a pile of paperwork for me to take care of when I return."

"I know," she said sadly, and slowly reopened her eyes. "Let me know when you are leaving your office, and I will meet you in your chambers." Orsino nodded, gave her one more quick kiss, and then pulled her away from the door so that he could open it.

Aveline was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for Orsino when they exited Hawke's bedroom. Hawke stopped at the top of the stairs, and leaned on the banister overlooking the sitting room. Heavy footsteps approached from behind, and Hawke tilted her head to look over her shoulder, before standing up and turning around.

Carver wrapped his arm's tightly around her waist, and she circled her's around his neck. "Stay safe, Carver."

"You as well, Sister," he replied, and pulled away from her. "We should go. I don't want to give the Knight-Commander a reason to turn her wrath upon Orsino or myself."

Hawke nodded, and leaned on the rail again as Carver joined the other two at the bottom of the stairs.

Orsino glanced at her one last time, and mouthed the words, "I love you." Hawke smiled in response, "_I love you too,"_ and he disappeared into the foyer._  
><em>

* * *

><p>As they walked through Hightown, Orsino shook his head at the sibling-like bickering between Aveline and Carver. They passed the Viscount's Keep, and a few minutes later, the Chantry. After descending the stairs to Lowtown, they wound through the busy, dusty streets, and something began to trouble Orsino.<p>

"Am I the only one that gets the sense that we are being followed," he asked quietly, after closing the distance between him, and the two warriors.

"No," Carver replied immediately, "I noticed it soon after we reached Lowtown."

"I sense it too," Aveline added, "and it wreaks of something vile."

Carver and Orsino nodded in agreement. They continued onward, keeping sharp eyes on their surroundings, and preparing themselves for the possibility of a battle. All three of them were tense when they entered the docks district. Being so close to dusk, most of the dock workers had already gone home for the evening, and the area was eerily quiet. When they reached the nearest pier, they each looked around warily, before looking at each other.

"I have crossed over to the Gallows enough times to know that it is not normal for all of the boats to be gone at the same time," Aveline said after a moment.

"As have I," Orsino agreed.

"Maker," Aveline said suddenly with wide eyes, and readied her sword and shield. Orsino pulled his staff from his back, and stepped around behind Aveline, before turning towards their attackers.

* * *

><p>Hawke stirred her cup of coffee idly for several moments, before setting the spoon down on the nearby table. "The two of you are quite enamored with each other," Leandra commented with a smile. "Seeing the two of you together reminds me of your father and I when we were younger."<p>

Hawke smiled, and sipped at her coffee. "I miss Father. I sometimes wonder what he would think of Orsino, whether he would like him or not. I like to think that he would."

Leandra's smile turned wistful, and she nodded slowly. "I think he would have. Perhaps not at first, but anyone can see how much he loves you, and how happy you are. That was all we ever wanted for you children."

Hawke's eyes shut suddenly, and she placed the heel of her hand against her forehead.

"Zalandra darling, what's wrong? Are you alright," Leandra asked, her tone full of concern.

Hawke shook her head, and blindly reached to set her cup down, but it was too close to the edge of the table, and it fell to the floor and shattered.

"Something is wrong..." Hawke said frantically. "I must... I have to go find them."

Without another word, Hawke threw herself from the chair, and scaled the stairs two at a time until she reached her room. After grabbing her staff, and throwing on her cloak, she reemerged, and rushed back down the stairs. "Thank you, Bodahn. I'm sorry about the mess." she apologized quickly to the dwarf that was already cleaning up the broken glass.

"I don't have time to explain right now, Mama, but I will come back as soon as I make sure they are okay. I love you," Hawke called, and hurried out the front door.

* * *

><p>Orsino backed to the edge of the pier. While Aveline and Carver held their ground a few feet in front of him. They were surrounded by water on three sides, and Orsino couldn't begin to count how many dwarves were closing in on them from the other side. He summoned a firestorm in the center of the dwarves, being careful to avoid hitting his allies. The enemies fell in droves to the magical flames, but it seemed as if every time one enemy fell, two more would appear from a nearby building or rooftop.<p>

Aveline slammed her shield forward, shoving the dwarves back, and a few fell into the harbor. Carver was next to her, swinging his large blade through several enemies at a time, and making sure not to allow any of them to slip passed them to reach Orsino.

_"Orsino? Can you hear me, love? What's happening? Where are you?"_

Orsino frowned as his concentration briefly wavered, and he forced himself to refocus on his spells. _"Not now, my dear,"_ he managed in response.

_"Where are you," _he heard her ask a moment later, but he tuned her out. If he allowed his focus to falter, it could cost them all their lives. The dwarves that had fallen into the water were now grabbing the edge of the pier, and trying to pull themselves up. Orsino hit each one with a burst of magic, sending them flying several feet before landing back into the water with a splash.

"_Orsino, please... where are you?" _He was beginning to feel her fear, and desperation, but he had to push it back. Their numbers were beginning to lessen now, but there were still too many to allow himself distraction.

Clearing his mind once more, he summoned another firestorm, and this time he called down sparks of electricity to join the raining flames.

Shards of ice joined the magical storm, and Orsino squinted, trying to see through the massive spell storm. Eventually the spells began to subside, and he saw her.

Hawke was on the other side of the group of dwarves, and several of them had turned on her.

Orsino gritted his teeth, and began tossing spirit bolts from his staff as rapidly as he could manage. The dwarves' numbers were dwindling faster now, and though he didn't like having so many enemies between him and his lover, he was thankful for her appearance. He could feel his energy waning, and would not be able to continue much longer.

"Sister, above you," he heard Carver shout. A dwarf jumped off of a rooftop, daggers drawn, and aiming to land directly on top of Hawke. Hawke spotted him, at her brother's shout, and rolled out of the way before roasting him with a stream of fire.

A hand wrapped around Orsino's ankle, startling him. He tried to spin around to fend off the attacker, but before he could cast, another dwarf appeared, grabbed his other ankle, and they both began to pull.

Hawke finally reached Aveline and Carver, and checked them both for wounds as she slipped between them. When she turned around to check Orsino, she screamed out his name as he was pulled off the pier. She spun back around to check on their surroundings, and Carver grabbed her shoulder to get her attention.

"We've got this, Sister. Go get him."

Hawke nodded, and tossed her cloak and staff on the ground behind them, before running to the end of the pier, and diving in after Orsino. It was so dark under the water, it took her several minutes to find him, but she finally managed to get him back to the surface.

Closing her eyes, she focused all of her energy on healing him.

"Come back to me, love," she pleaded. "Breathe, damn you... Don't you dare die on me!"

It took what seemed like an eternity before he began coughing up the water in his lungs, and gasping for air. Once she was sure he was breathing, she began pulling him back towards the pier.

When she reached it, Carver and Aveline helped pull them both out of the water. Sitting on the edge of the pier leaning over Orsino, she brushed the fingers of one hand through his silver hair, and the other she placed on his chest to check for any other injuries.

"Who were those dwarves, why did they attack you," Hawke asked bitterly.

"We don't know, Hawke," Aveline answered. "We all knew that we were being followed through Lowtown, and when we reached the dock, the boats were no where in sight, and within moments we were being surrounded."

Hawke frowned, and shook her head. A group that large must have had a specific reason to corner them, and attack. She would have to visit Varric tomorrow, and see if he could find her some answers.

Carver knelt down next to Hawke, and placed a comforting hand on the center of her back, "Is he going to be alright, Sister?"

"I'm fine," Orsino muttered from his position on the ground, and squeezed the hand Hawke had on his chest. "Thanks to you," he whispered up to her.

"Good," Carver continued, "now you can tell us what made you coming running in to save the day. How did you know that we needed help, Sister?"

Hawke gave him a pleading look, and shook her head. "Please Carver, not now. It isn't important. What is important is that we're all alive."

Carver frowned at her response, but nodded anyway. "Fine, we can discuss it later. But the boat is coming now, you should leave before it gets here. You wreak of magic, and any templar would be able to sense it."

"No! I won't leave Orsino. He's the First Enchanter, and we were just attacked. The templars will just think it's his magic they are sensing."

Orsino pushed himself up to sitting, and then climbed to his feet, pulling Hawke up with him.

"Sister, I sense strong magic from the both of you, and..."

"He's right, my dear," Orsino interrupted. "Even I can sense your magic more strongly than normal, the templars will not be fooled. There is no need to worry. I am well enough now to make it back to my chambers unassisted."

Hawke wanted to argue, to demand that she go with them, but she knew that they were right, it would be foolish to try to fool the templars so soon after such strenuous use of her magic. Besides that knowledge, the look Orsino was giving her, told her that she would not win the argument, even if she attempted it.

Frowning, she grabbed Orsino's hand, pressed a kiss to his palm, and without another word to anyone, she grabbed her staff and cloak, and ran for the stairs up to Lowtown.

As soon as she was far enough away, she slipped into a shadowed alcove, and teleported back to the estate.

Hawke changed out of her soaked clothes, then made her way downstairs. When she found her mother, she briefly explained what had happened, and assured her that everyone was safe. Then she let her know that she was heading back to the Gallows for the evening.

After gathering her things, and thanking Bodahn for the dinner he insisted she take with her, she said her good nights, and stepped out into the garden before teleporting to Orsino's chambers.

* * *

><p>Meredith glared at Orsino, while listening to the Guard Captain's explanation for why the mage's robe's were dripping, and leaving a pool of water on the floor of her office.<p>

"And you have no idea who these dwarves were, or what they wanted? From the reports I receive it is not common for the thugs and bandits in this city to attack in such large numbers. That leads me to believe that this was an intentional attack on one of you, or perhaps all three of you," the Knight-Commander said with an accusing tone.

Aveline shook her head, and reined in the exasperated sigh that wished to escape. "I don't know, Knight-Commander. They followed us, and then attacked us. It definitely _seemed_ planned, but I am unsure what that plan might have been, or if they had a specific target. Since they were dwarves, we can probably assume that they were members of the Carta. I have an acquaintance in the Dwarven Merchant's Guild. He is usually good at finding out information. I'll see if he can find any leads for me to follow."

Meredith nodded, and glanced at Carver, before returning to her chair. "Ser Carver, do you have anything to add?"

"No, Knight-Commander. Though I would like to express my gratitude to the First Enchanter. If not for him, we would not have survived the attack."

"Noted. Now if there is nothing else... Orsino you are excused to your chambers until tomorrow morning. Ser Carver you should report to Knight-Captain Cullen before you return to your quarters for the evening, and Guard Captain I would like to speak with you for a moment in private."

Aveline bowed her head in acknowledgment, and nodded a farewell to Carver, and Orsino as they left the office.

Out in the hallway Carver halted Orsino by placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure you would like to get out of those soaked clothes as soon as possible, but may I speak with you for a moment."

Orsino eyed Carver for a moment, before stepping around him, opening the door to his office, and gesturing for him to enter.

"If this about the question you asked your sister on the docks, I'm afraid you will be disappointed, Carver. I have no intention of answering that question for her," Orsino stated as he pushed the door closed.

Carver sighed, and shook his head. "I would like an answer to that, but I have already concluded that it has something to do with you. My sister will tell me on her own when she is ready. I just wanted to properly thank you, Orsino. Over the past year you have proven yourself to be an honorable man, and I am man enough to admit that I was wrong about you, and I judged you too quickly before. My sister loves you, and I can see that you love her as well. I would be honored if you would allow me to count you among my friends, a brother even."

Orsino saw the sincerity in Carver's words, and he nodded his head, before offering a hand to the templar. "I will gladly accept your friendship, Carver. I know that you were only trying to protect your sister in the beginning, and I bear no ill towards you for that. She is a very special woman, and I love her dearly."

Carver accepted the hand Orsino offered, and nodded in return. "I'll let you retire for the evening, Orsino, and I look forward to the next time we are able gather together. You have become a part of our family, whether you realize that or not." Carver opened the door, and exited. Orsino stepped out after him, and closed the door. He had not expected such words from the young Hawke, but he found the young man's new acceptance of him brought warmth to his heart. "Part of the family," he mused to himself, "something I never imagined having, and yet it feels... right."

Opening the door to his bedchamber, he pulled at the fastenings of his robe, and shivered at he shrugged off the drenched heavy silk. A small smile tugged at his lips when he rounded the corner of the entryway to find a fire already blazing in the hearth, and Hawke sitting in front of it, staring blankly at a book in her lap.

The rustling of his clothing caught Hawke's attention, as he crossed the room, shedding the rest of his wet layers along the way. By the time he reached her, she was on her feet, and he pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Maker Orsino, you're freezing," she said with a shiver.

Orsino kissed the top of her head, and closed his eyes. Magic pulsed through his veins, and within seconds his temperature returned to normal. "Is that better, my dear?"

Hawke nodded her head against his chest, and he heard a quiet sniffle, causing him to lean back, and lift her face to look at him. He frowned, and his thumbs wiped at the tears he found sliding down her face. "Why are you crying, my love," he asked quietly, his eyes searching her face. Hawke closed her eyes, and tried to turn her face away, but he held it firmly in place. "Look at me," he said firmly, and her eyes fluttered back open.

He stared into her emerald eyes, and brushed his lips gently across hers, "Speak to me. Tell me what ails you, so that I may attempt to remedy it."

Hawke sniffled again, and shook her head slightly. "There is nothing to be done about this ache, Orsino. I doubt it will never go away... I can only hope that it will lessen in time."

Orsino's mind began to race. Shouldn't she be happy that they had all survived today? Had something else happened after she had left the dock?

Then he recalled the way she had looked when she was leaning over him on the pier. She was paler than normal, worry... terror even, written on her face, and her hands were trembling. Even in his foggy state at the time, the relief that had washed over her when he had finally found his voice again, had been overly evident.

"What happened..." he asked reluctantly, "after I began to fall? I remember being pulled, and I remember falling. The next thing I remember clearly is you leaning over me, your hand on my chest, and I could feel your magic coursing through me."

Hawke squeezed her eyes shut, took in a death breath, then released it with a shudder. "When I finally reached Carver and Aveline, I scanned them both for injuries, and then I turned to check on you, but you were falling. I saw your head slam into the edge of the pier, and then you disappeared under the water."

Tears were falling down her cheeks again, and his heart broke as he imagined the scene she was describing.

"I scanned the area, checking to see how many enemies were left. I knew that I couldn't just abandon them to go after you if they needed me, no matter how much I may have wanted to. Carver... he must have seen what happened, or he figured it out, because he grabbed my shoulder, and told me to go after you. I should have... the right thing to do would have been to stay and help them, but I couldn't... couldn't..."

She was sobbing now, her fingertips were digging into his bare flesh, and tears were threatening to fall from his own eyes. One of his arms wrapped firmly around her waist, and the other slid into her hair, pulling her tightly against his chest.

"When I dove into the water," she continued through her broken sobs, "it was so dark. I remember thinking I would never find you in time... Then something caught my eye, a reflection. So tiny that I shouldn't have noticed it at all."

"I swam towards it. I was praying, desperately pleading for the Maker to hear my cries. When I was close enough, I reached out for the tiny glimmer, and my fingers brushed against yours. I slid my arm around your chest, and kicked and clawed my way back to the surface. As soon as I caught my breath I began pouring a healing spell into you. I remember screaming... pleading for you to come back to me."

Hawke began to shake as she sobbed harder, and Orsino lowered them onto the floor. The stone was hard, and slightly cold, but he paid it no mind. Her emotions were so very strong, full of pain, and fear. To be able to feel what she felt. To know that her love for him was so strong that the thought of losing him brought her so much pain... It was both agonizing, and amazing at the same time, and it was completely overwhelming.

"When you started coughing, and gasping for air," she whispered hoarsely when her sobs finally stopped. "I have never been so relieved in my entire life, Orsino. Our relationship... my love for you has given me such a good a reason to want to live a long and healthy life. If I lost you, I would have no such incentive. I would..."

"Stop," Orsino pleaded with a strangled breath. "Don't..." he whispered into her hair. "I am here, and anyone that tries to take me away from you will find it to be a nigh impossible task. You saved my life today, and for the first time, I truly understand what it means to love (and be loved) unequivocally, and unconditionally. I feel like we can beat any odds, survive any battle, win any war... as long as we stand beside each other."

Hawke looked up at him then, her eyes red, and her cheeks stained with tears. Her eyes searched his, perhaps looking for a sign of doubt in his words, but what she found was a hard determination... an unspoken promise.

Her lips sought his. Tenderly at first, but more demanding by the second. The flame of desire Hawke had ignited in Orsino earlier that afternoon returned, and it spread uncontrollably.

Orsino climbed to his feet, bringing Hawke up with him, before sweeping her up in his arms. A few quick strides brought them to the bed, and Orsino laid her down before kneeling over her, and pinning her to the mattress.

Hawke squirmed against his hold at first, but she froze when his darkened eyes locked with hers. "I told you that you should be prepared for this, did I not," Orsino asked while capturing both of her wrists with one hand to free up the other.

"But you..."

Orsino pressed a finger to her lips, and shook his head. "Yes, or no," he stated, and then moved his hand to untie the sash around her waist.

"Yes," she whispered after a moment, and Orsino nodded.

After pulling the sash out from under her, and dropping it to the floor, he flipped her over, and began working on the laces of her dress. "You had such lust-filled thoughts earlier this afternoon. Did you think they would have no effect on me," he murmured into her ear.

"I didn't mean..."

"Yes, or no," he interrupted, more sternly this time.

"No," she gasped as he trailed a frost tipped finger across the back of her neck, and he smirked at her reaction. His fingers went back to unlacing her dress, and once he had it loosened enough, he flipped her back over.

"Have you changed your mind about those desires now that I am in a position to fulfill them?"

Hawke flushed, and she shook her head. "No."

Orsino released her hands long enough to remove her arms from her dress, and then pinned them back above her head. She began to wrestling against him again, and he pressed his weight more fully onto her. "Then why are you fighting me?"

"I..." she paused when he raised an eyebrow at her, and she frowned in response. Orsino chuckled, and continued removing her dress. Once it joined her sash on the floor, he allowed his eyes to scan over every inch of her lovely form. He had seen her bare skin many times before, but somehow this time felt different. He wanted to memorize every curve, every freckle, and every scar.

His fingers trailed reverently down her neck, between the valley of her breasts, across her abdomen, before caressing the curve of her hip, and coming to rest on her thigh. "Do you still wish for me to ravish, and claim you, my love," he breathed into her ear.

"Maker, yes," she answered, without hesitation, and he smiled against her neck. "Your wish, is my command, milady."

* * *

><p>"I love the way your weight feels on top me," Hawke whispered after her breathing returned to normal. "It may be silly on my part, but it makes me feel safe."<p>

Orsino raised up on his elbows, and kissed her, before smiling down at her. "If my body is all you need to feel safe,my dear, then I am happy to offer it any time you require it."

"You mock my serious confession..." Orsino pressed his finger to her lips to silence her.

"You should know me better than that, Zalandra. My reply was no less sincere, than your confession." Hawke's eyes softened, and she nodded her head slowly.

"I would like to ask you something," Orsino said quietly, and placed his hand back on the bed. "You said something last night... I had decided not to ask you about it, but after all that has happened today..."

Orsino sighed, annoyed with himself for the loss of his usual eloquence, and inability to speak his mind.

Hawke placed a hand on his cheek, and gave him a worried look. Orsino placed his hand on top of hers, and closed his eyes. "You referred to me as your husband to those bandits in Hightown. I want to know why..." Orsino's eyes reopened, "Was is just... something you said, or..."

"I referred to you as such, because that is what you are to me," she interrupted, "even if it will never be recognized by the Chantry as a proper marriage. We are bound for life, by magic. A bond that we both willingly accepted, and _that_ is more real to me than any words the Grand Cleric could ever recite."

The look in Orsino's eyes told her that she had given him the answer he had hoped for, but there was still something... "What is it, love?"

Orsino forced a smile, and shook his head. "Nothing, my dear. Your words perfectly reflect my own feelings on the subject. I just felt the need to hear it."

Hawke frowned again, and pushed at his hand to intertwine their fingers. "Please don't do that. There was something else you wanted to say."

"There is no point in having a discussion about an impractical subject," Orsino replied calmly. "If something changes, and it becomes more feasible, we will discuss it then."

Hawke squeezed his hand, and nodded. "Very well. I'll drop it for now," she conceded. "Why don't we go see what Bodahn sent over for our dinner?"

Orsino gave her another gentle kiss, and then eased himself up and off of her. He knew that he had not heard the end of the conversation, but he hoped that by the time she asked him about it again, he will have decided the best way to approach the topic.


	14. Fix You

**Disclaimer**: Dragon Age II, and it's character's belong to Bioware.

* * *

><p><em>From high up above, or down below<br>When you're too in love to let it go  
>But if you never try you'll never know<br>Just what your worth_

_Tears stream, down your face  
>When you lose something you can not replace<br>Tears stream, down your face  
>And I<em>

_Lights will guide you home  
>And ignite your bones<br>And I will try to fix you_

_~*~ Fix You - Coldplay (Cover by Javier Colon) ~*~  
><em>

Sated and exhausted, they had both slept soundly the night of the attack at the docks. The following night, however, Orsino had awakened to the sounds of Hawke crying in her sleep, and he had comforted her with tender caresses, and soothing words, until her quiet whimpers had finally stopped.

That was how it had started. Every night he would wake to her crying into his chest, and he would hold her to him, hushing her until she stilled once more. But as the nights had grown colder, and winter had set in full force, it had slowly gotten worse.

There were nights he'd awaken to find her on the other side of the bed, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs, and her forehead pressed against the top of her knees as she trembled, and wept. Other nights she would mumble in her sleep, sometimes he heard soft prayers, and others harsh curses.

He had avoided broaching the topic, hoping that over time the nightmares would stop, but last night had been the worst to date. He had snapped awake to the sound of a deafening wail, and Hawke thrashing wildly in her sleep.

He had tried in vain to wake her, but everything he had done had only further fueled her violent outbursts, until she had taken to beating fiercely at his chest. After several minutes he had done the only other thing he could think of... grabbing her wrists he carefully forced her hands down to her sides, and gently laid himself on top of her.

Much to his relief, she had stilled instantly with the presence of his weight. He had talked to her for nearly an hour, but nothing had broken through to her. After a while, he had given up, and rolled them both over. With their positions reversed, he had hoped that he might be able to drift back into the Fade for awhile, but sleep had evaded him the rest of the night.

Orsino's morning thus far had been an exhausting one, and his current predicament was only proving to increase the throbbing in his head. He had been sitting there for over an hour, staring at the sturdy wooden door of the Grand Cleric's office, and his anxiety mounted with each of the Knight-Commander's angry shouts through the door.

When the door finally opened, he heard Elthina's mellow voice call his name, and he stood from the bench to approach. Meredith stormed out of the office, nearly running him over in her rush, and he couldn't help but to smile slightly at her apparent irritation.

Schooling his face to hide his amusement, he stepped into the Grand Cleric's office, closed the door behind him, and took the seat across from her desk.

"I appreciate you taking the time to come see me, Orsino. I know that you are not very fond of visiting the Chantry," Elthina voiced, once he was seated.

"Not particularly, no... but I would never deny your request for my presence, Your Grace." Orsino replied sincerely.

"That is very much appreciated as well, but I will get straight to the point of why I called you both here, so that you do not have to remain any longer than necessary."

At Orsino's nod, she continued. "I've received several disturbing report's from an anonymous source about an increase in the number of Tranquil within the Gallows as of late. I had ignored them at first, assuming that they were being sent by a disgruntled mage within the Circle trying to start an uprising, but when they began to arrive more frequently, I couldn't imagine them coming from the Gallows without the templars taking notice."

Orsino frowned, but chose to keep his mouth shut until she asked him a direct question. "According to the Knight-Commander, there have been more mages made tranquil in the past year, but she says that they were suspected of using forbidden magic. I want you honest opinion, Orsino. Is that the case, or do you believe that they were made tranquil unjustly?"

Orsino shifted uneasily in his chair as he considered the best way to answer her question. The position of Grand Cleric dictates that she must follow Chantry law, even so, she had always shown him the utmost respect, despite him being a mage, and an elf, and he always tried to return that respect.

"I admit that even I was suspicious of a few of them, Your Grace, but there was no solid proof against any of them. Regardless of their guilt, however, I can not in good conscience, condone such punishment for any mage. It is an incredibly cruel, and barbaric practice."

"Orsino, you know that the Chantry only calls for the the Right of Tranquility when a mage causes such a threat to himself, and those around him that we have no other choice."

"With all due respect, Your Grace. Most mages would choose death over being made tranquil... myself included."

Elthina studied Orsino for a long moment, before she nodded her head. "I believe I understand your view, Orsino, but the Chantry would never condone outright murder."

"The Tranquil might as well be dead," he replied bitterly. "They are no longer the individual they were, they have no emotions, no thoughts of their own. Is that not murder of a different kind? Their physical body may persist, but their spirit's... " Orsino frowned, and shook his head, as he tried to calm himself.

The look Elthina gave him then was a mixture of sympathy, and regret. She did understand. She had seen her share of Tranquil throughout the years, and she had felt a deep sorrow for each of them. "I'm sorry, Orsino. I wish there was another way, but there is not."

A few silent minutes passed before Orsino spoke again, "The Knight-Commander has an extreme hatred for mages, and she is only getting worse with time. I do what I can to protect my charges, but I am nothing more than an obstacle in Meredith's path, when she feels the need to go after one of my apprentices."

Orsino stood, and walked across the office to peer out of the window at the garden below. "I have lost count of how many times someone has run into my office to inform me that Meredith was harassing a mage, or that someone had been 'taken for questioning'... She goes out of her way to do things behind my back, instead of coming to me and giving me the opportunity to deal with it. On the hand, when I receive complaints about her templars, I take them directly to her, and nothing gets done about it."

He heard Elthina move behind him, but he didn't look back at her. A moment later she appeared next to him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Orsino, I know that your task is not an easy one. You do have a tendency to be overly defiant at times, but you are not afraid to speak your mind, and you are not a man to surrender easily. You may have been the only one willing to assume the First Enchanter position years ago, but at the time, I also believed that you were the only one capable of doing the position justice. I knew you could handle it then, just as I know you can handle it now."

Orsino sighed, and nodded his head. He knew that she was right, he could think of no one in the Circle that would even stand a chance against Meredith's short tempered, stubbornness. And he wasn't one to give up, no matter how futile the task may seem.

"As for the reason of this meeting, I thank you for speaking honestly with me. I made my views on the matter quite clear to the Meredith, and expect that things will be handled differently in the future. As for you, I would like to ask that you begin sending a weekly report directly to me. Something you mentioned here makes me believe that the one's I've been receiving lately have been less than complete."

"As you wish, Your Grace," Orsino replied. He doubted that it would do any good, she was not known for getting directly involved with the disputes between the mages and templars, but he would do as she asked, and hope that something good might come of it.

"You are free to go now, Orsino. I sent Meredith back to the Gallows, and told her that I would be giving you the afternoon to yourself. You are free to visit the markets, or whatever you'd like, as long as you return to the Gallows by nightfall."

Elthina squeezed his shoulder, and gave him a kind smile, before returning to her desk. Orsino was shocked by the small amount of freedom, but did not allow it to show. With a respectful bow of his head, he thanked the Grand Cleric, and wished her a pleasant day, before exiting her office with a destination already in mind.

* * *

><p>A rustle in the leaves drew her attention away from her book, and she set it down quietly. Pulling her small dagger from her belt, she carefully rose to her feet, and stepped behind the wide trunk of the large willow. When she heard a branch snap on the other side, she spun around it, pushing the intruder against the tree, her dagger pressing firmly against their neck.<p>

"Well that's one way to greet your guests," Orsino said, his tone laced with amusement.

Hawke's eyes grew wide, and she dropped the dagger to the ground. "Maker, Orsino, it's not funny. I could have killed you."

Orsino pulled her into his arms, and kissed her forehead. "It was not my intention to sneak up on you. It did not occur to me that you might be back here. I knocked on the front door, and when I didn't get an answer, I thought I would wait in your garden for awhile."

Hawke pulled out of his embrace, and lead him around to the blanket she had been sitting on. "If you had told me you were coming, I would have know to expect you. How did you get out of the Gallows?"

"I have been given the afternoon to do as I wish, as long as I return before nightfall. And I didn't tell you I was coming, because I wanted to surprise you," Orsino replied as he joined her on the ground.

"Well I am delightfully surprised, but don't you find it strange that Meredith allowed you to leave," Hawke asked warily. She didn't trust that woman any more than she would trust Fenris and Anders not to kill each other if they were left alone in a room together.

Orsino shook his head. "Meredith didn't have a choice in the matter. I was given leave by the Grand Cleric, but I did ensure that I was not followed here. Just in case Meredith had not followed her orders."

Hawke smiled, and placed her hand on his cheek. "Well Bodahn and Sandal went shopping. Mama is out visiting a friend, and all of my companions are busy today, so we should have the entire afternoon to ourselves."

Orsino placed his hand on top of hers, and forced himself to return her smile. "That is good, because there is something we need to discuss."

Hawke's smile faltered at the haunted look in his eyes. "I know that look," she said softly. "You're upset about something."

"Don't pretend that you don't know what this is about. We've both been avoiding it for months, but we can't keep pretending that nothing is wrong."

Hawke pulled her hand away, and wrapped her arms around her knees. Her eyes focused on a spot in front of her, and Orsino could tell that she was fighting to keep her thoughts from showing on her face. The strength of their bond had grown in the last several months, however, and he was easily able to sense each of her warring emotions. After a few moments, he realized that he may been wrong.

Orsino moved closer to her, and wrapped his arms around her. "You don't know do you," he murmured into her hair. "How is that even possible?"

Hawke turned to look at him again, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. "I don't... You're confusing me, Orsino. What is this about?"

Orsino frowned, and sighed softly. "I need you to tell me what you have been seeing in the Fade lately. Demons, or repeated past events? Anything that would have upset, or hurt you?

Hawke's brows furrowed, and she shook her head. "I..." Hawke's cheeks began to redden, and she cleared her throat. "Nothing like that. Most of my dreams are about you, and they are far from unpleasant. And sometimes I speak with... that's not important. Why do you ask?

"Now I am the one that is confused," Orsino confessed.

He went on to tell her about the nightmares, or at least what he had assumed had been nightmares, and how they had gotten worse over time.

Hawke released a sigh of relief. "Is that all? I mean... it's odd, for sure. But when I saw that look, and what you said..." She shook her head, and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Don't you ever do that to me again."

"What did..." Orsino thought about what he had said, and quickly understood what it must have sounded like to her. "I'm sorry, my love. I will be much more careful with my wording in the future."

"Thank you," she said with a smile. "Now, then. What do you think all of this means. It makes no sense that I can't remember the cause of my... outbursts, and it's even stranger that you were unable to wake me."

"Yes, I agree," Orsino replied, and shifted to sit against the base of the tree. "I will need to do some research. I had originally thought that you had just avoided the subject because you didn't want to talk about it. Knowing now that that is not the case..." Orsino sighed, and rested his head against the tree. "It is likely magic induced."

"Maker... you think that blood mage is after me again. Well, that's just..." Hawke paused, and tapped a finger on her chin. "Wait a minute... that still doesn't make sense. What would be the point of forcing me to remain asleep while he tortured me, if I just wake up, and forget about it afterward?"

"I am not sure," he admitted. "I will bring some books to my chambers this evening for us to look over, and I'd like you to bring a few from your study if you would."

Hawke nodded her head, and leaned back against his chest. "Can we just sit here for awhile, and _pretend_ that our life is normal."

Orsino chuckled lightly, and wrapped his arms around her. "You don't really want a normal life. You'd miss all of the excitement."

Hawke laughed in response. "I suppose I would," she said with a sigh. "But it is nice to pretend every once in awhile."

"That it is," Orsino agreed.

* * *

><p>Orsino pushed open his office door and sighed at the number of missives laying on the floor. After gathering them up, he walked over to his desk, and began placing them down one at a time as he went through them. He heard the sound of clinking metal armor behind him, but he didn't need to turn around to know who it was.<p>

"I see you took your time returning," Meredith said bitterly from the door. Not finding any messages that appeared to be urgent, Orsino tossed the last one on his desk, and turned to face her.

"The Grand Cleric gave me leave to take the afternoon to myself, so I took the opportunity granted me. I returned before nightfall, as she requested," he replied calmly.

Meredith scoffed, and backed out into the hallway as he moved towards her, to exit his office.

Locking and closing the door behind him, he regarded the Knight-Commander in silence, waiting for her to barrage him with questions. After glaring at him for several moments, she grumbled something under her breath, and shooed him away with a metal-clad hand.

Any other time, Orsino would have made a remark about her contemptuous dismissal, but he had enjoyed his afternoon, and his lover was no doubt waiting for him now with dinner. He refused to allow Meredith to bait him this evening. With a slight bow of his head, he headed for his chambers, leaving Meredith to glare holes into his retreating back.

* * *

><p>Hawke sat on the bed. The books Orsino had requested her to bring were spread out before her, but her mind was elsewhere as she stared at the fire she had started in the hearth. She had so many questions plaguing her thoughts, and no answers for any of them. No matter how hard she tried, she could make no sense of what Orsino had described to her earlier in the day.<p>

Why could she not recall any events in the fade that would have induced her late night outbursts? If it was the same blood mage... why was he still trying to get to her? She hadn't discovered any new leads since Emeric had been murdered. The trail had gone cold, and she had been forced to give up on the idea of locating him until he made another move.

A hand rested on her shoulder, jolting her out of her contemplations, and her eyes fell to the books in front her.

"I seem to have a bad habit of sneaking up on you today," Orsino murmered. Sitting on the bed behind her, he wrapped his arms around her, and rested his chin on her shoulder.

He knew that she was still trying to wrap her mind around their earlier discussion, and he could feel her distress. He wanted to tell her not to worry, that they would figure it out, and put a stop to it, but they both knew that it probably wouldn't be that simple. There was magic at work here, that he was fairly certain of, but it wasn't anything that either of them was familiar with.

Hawke remained silent, but took comfort in Orsino's nearness. She relied on him more and more as time went on, she had found. He listened when she needed to voice her thoughts. He offered advice when she needed his differing perspective. He offered his shoulder for her to lean on when her own strength faltered. It was certainly a 'give and take' relationship, but lately she'd been feeling like she took more than she gave.

"Do you trust me," Orsino asked quietly.

Hawke furrowed her brows, wondering what had brought on such a question, but knowing he would not have asked if there was not a purpose behind it. "You know I do," was her soft reply. "More than I trust myself some days," she mused to herself, but chose not to lend voice to that thought.

"On my way back to the Gallows, I had an idea of something I could try that might provide us with some answers."

"Why do I sense a 'but' in there somewhere," Hawke asked with a sigh. There was always a 'but' or an 'if'.

"Yes, there is..."

Hawke sighed again, and hung her head. "Of course there is..." she muttered.

"Are you quite done," Orsino asked with a sigh of his own. He and Hawke had never had a true dispute between them, but they were both stubborn, and impatient, and he knew that one day, one of them would eventually lose their temper, and sparks would start flying. He would not allow today to be that day, however.

"I am, yes... please continue."

"For my idea to have any chance of working as we need it to, I will have to do it on my own, without your knowledge of the plan beforehand. The only reason I am bringing it up at all, is because it is rather... intrusive, for lack of a better word, and I want your permission to follow through with it."

Hawke narrowed her eyes, and turned her head to look at him. "You want my permission... without having the slightest idea what it is that I am giving you permission to do," she asked incredulously.

"Yes," he said simply. There was no need to elaborate further. He knew that it was a lot to ask. If the roles were reversed, he would be frustrated by the secrecy as well, but he would trust that she was doing whatever she felt necessary. He could only hope that she would feel the same way.

"Then you have my permission," Hawke said at length. Turning her head away, she gathering up the books on the bed. "I don't want to talk about this anymore... are you hungry?"

Orsino frowned at the slight bitterness in her tone. Was she angry at him for being so cryptic, or was she just frustrated with the situation itself? It didn't matter, he decided. She had given him permission to go forward with his plan, and he would do just that. No matter the consequences. "If you are ready to eat, I will happily join you."

* * *

><p>When they had finished dinner, Orsino retrieved a book from a small shelf near the bed, and sat down at his desk. He knew the spell he would need, but he hadn't actually had to cast it before, so he wanted to refresh his memory, and to make sure he had enough lyrium on hand.<p>

After locating the page he needed, he glanced over at Hawke and frowned. She was utterly lost in thought again, staring into the fire. Shaking his head, he read over the spell several times before closing the book, and then pulled several vials of lyrium from the top drawer of his desk.

Returning the book to the shelf, Orsino placed the vials on his bedside table, and then turned his attention back to Hawke. He needed to think of something to take her mind off of things for a few hours. Making up his mind, he walked to his chamber door, and placed his hand against it. After reciting a short incantation, a rune shimmered to life in his palm, and a matching one appeared on the door.

"What is that," Hawke asked quietly from behind him.

Turning around to face her, he gave her a smile, and showed her the rune on his palm, before it faded into his skin. "It's a ward of sorts... I placed a protective rune on the door, but with an added component that is linked to my magic energy. It will allow me to know if anyone touches the door."

"So... if someone knocked on your door, you would know, even if you weren't here? That's handy, I suppose, but why do you need it now? Are you going somewhere?"

"Actually," Orsino said as he pulled her into his arms. "I wanted to test something, and if it works, _we_ will be going somewhere."

Chuckling at her confused look, he kissed her forehead. "It might prove to be an advantage to us in the future, so I figure we might as well test it before we actually need it. I want you to teleport yourself to your estate, and attempt to take me with you."

Hawke frowned at him then, her brow creasing with worry. "But we don't know what could happen if I did that... it could hurt you... or..." Hawke's throat tightened at her next thought, and she shook her head.

"Do not fret, my dear. If I thought it would put either of us in danger, I would not have suggested it," Orsino reassured her. In all honesty, he truly had no idea what it might do, but he was confident that even if it did harm him in some way, it would not be fatal.

Still frowning, Hawke nodded, and pulled away to grab their staves. "Are you sure about this," she asked as she handed Orsino his.

"I am."

Nodding once more, Hawke stepped up to him, and wrapped his arms around her waist, before wrapping her own around his neck. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, and focused on her destination.

Orsino watched in fascination as magic flowed out of her. A red glow spread to encompass them both, and the energy prickled at his skin. Within a few seconds they were both standing in her bedchamber.

Feeling a sudden rush of dizziness, Orsino shut his eyes, and took a deep breath.

"Are you alright, love," Hawke asked, moving her hands to either side of his face.

"Nothing serious, just a little lightheaded. I'm sure it will pass soon enough."

Feeling her magic build again, Orsino sighed quietly when the healing spell swept through him. Blinking his eyes a couple of times, he refocused on Hawke, and smiled.

"Better?"

"Much better," he replied, and leaned forward to kiss her lips.

Hawke smiled up at him when he pulled away. "Well, we both made it in one piece. Was there anywhere in particular that you wanted to go?"

"Hmm, I was thinking we could just go for a walk around Hightown. Since it is dark, it should be easy enough to avoid anyone that might recognize me."

* * *

><p>As they walked through the plaza in front of the Chantry, Hawke pulled her cloak tighter, and leaned her head against Orsino's shoulder.<p>

"Are you cold, my dear," Orsino asked, wrapping his arm around her, and pulling her closer to his side.

"A little, but the fresh air is nice. Thank you, by the way... I know this was meant to be a distraction from my thoughts, and it has succeeded."

"Good," Orsino said with a smile. "We should do this more often. Now that we know it is possible. Perhaps even join your friends for drinks on occasion."

Hawke nodded in agreement as the two began to climb the stairs to the more affluent section of Hightown. When they reached the top of the stairs, Hawke spotted movement on the top of a nearby mansion, and she halted her steps. It was too dark to make out any detail, but as the figure moved towards them, she recognized the man's gait, and she smiled.

Noticing the figure she had spotted, Orsino reached for his staff, but Hawke pressed a hand to his chest to stop him. "You don't need that, love."

A moment later the figure dropped off of the roof, landing gracefully on his feet, before approaching them. "Those sharp eyes of yours are a testament to your namesake, Hawke," Fenris said with a smirk, and she chuckled. "Orsino," he said with a slight bow of his head. "What are you two doing out here? Shouldn't you be... elsewhere?"

"We decided to try something new," Orsino replied with a smile. "It's nice to see you again, Fenris."

"You as well," the warrior returned. He still didn't fully trust Orsino, but the more time he spent around the mage, the more comfortable he felt in his presence.

"And what, my dear friend, are you doing skulking about on people's rooftops," Hawke asked with an amused tone.

"Patrolling for bandits, slavers, and the like. It's a habit I have picked up on the night's I am not otherwise engaged."

Hawke smiled at that. She was happy to see the former slave learning to live his current life, rather than dwelling so much on his previous one. Not that she could blame him for wanting to be rid of Danarius once and for all. The things that horrible man did to Fenris, made her insides twist into knots. She wouldn't hesitate to kill the bastard either, if given the chance.

"I would tell you that it is unsafe to be walking the streets at night, but I know the two of you are more than capable of taking care of yourselves," Fenris continued. "I will leave you to your walk. Should I expect to see the two of you more often in the future?"

Hawke nodded in response. "Yes, I think so. As long as we don't run into any... unexpected complications."

Fenris raised an eyebrow at that, but did not question the remark. He may not have completely understood what she meant, but he was certain that it pertained to magic, and it was unsafe for them to discuss such things in public. "Very well. You two enjoy your evening." Another slight bow of his head, and he was gone, slinking back into the shadows.

"For a warrior with glowing tattoos, carrying a sword nearly as large as he is, he is certainly capable of being furtive when he wants to be," Orsino commented.

"He is indeed," Hawke agreed, pulling his arm back around her, and continuing to walk.

Entering a small alcove not far from the stairs, she stopped in front of a mansion that appeared to be abandoned, and pushed open the door with a loud creak.

Noticing the confusion on his face, Hawke reached for Orsino's hand, and pulled him inside before shutting the door. "I can't rightly teleport us home from the middle of the street, now can I? I'm sure the mansion's current... occupant is still lurking about, and is aware that we are in here. I have permission to come and go as I please, anyhow."

"This is Fenris' mansion," Orsino asked.

"Essentially," Hawke answered with a smirk.

Orsino raised an eyebrow. "There are lingering traces of blood magic here. That Magister, Danarius I think you said his name was, was this his mansion?"

"Yes. The night I met Fenris, we came here so that he could confront Danarius, but all we found when we arrived were a few guards, and several demons. Fenris decided to stay here after that. He said if Danarius wanted his mansion back, he'd have to take it back by force. It worries me sometimes that he will come back, and with more slavers than Fenris can fend off on his own, but he has set up traps all over this place, and has several escape routes just in case."

Orsino nodded as he looked around. He spotted several of the traps she had mentioned just in the entry way. Maker only knew what he had set up further in. Knowing him now, seeing the way he carried himself, Orsino sometimes had a hard time believing that the elf had once been a slave. Fenris was intelligent, well spoken, fluent in at least four different languages, and wielded his blade better than any templar he'd ever seen. And then there was also the _If you touch me, I'll rip your heart out_ gruffness, that certainly wasn't a common temperament among slaves.

"Are you ready to return then, my dear? I'd be happy to rekindle the fire in the hearth, and perhaps ignite a flame of a different sort if you'd allow it. It is my responsibility to keep you warm after all," Orsino murmured into her ear.

Hawke blushed at the implication of his words, and shivered slightly at the feel of his breath on her ear when he spoke. "I am beginning to think that your gentlemanly character is all a ruse to hide your carnal nature, Orsino," Hawke stated as she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You certainly take great pleasure in seeing me squirm."

Orsino chuckled, and kissed her lips. "Writhe would be the more apt term... and only if I am the one causing it," he whispered into her ear as her magic enveloped him once more.

* * *

><p>Hawke drifted to the fade in her usual position, her head resting peacefully on Orsino's chest. Orsino waited patiently, listening to her breaths as they began to slow and deepen. Once he was certain that she was asleep, he cast the spell he had prepared for earlier in the evening.<p>

When next he opened his eyes he was in the Fade. Orsino's keen eye's searched the surrounding dreamscape until he spotted her off in the distance. "Follow, and observe, but do not make your presence known unless it is necessary," he said quietly to himself. He did not like invading the privacy of her dreams, but it was the only way he could think of, to find out exactly what was happening to her each night.

He followed her into a farming village, where she stopped in front of a small house, hidden from the road behind several other houses. Hawke sat down on the porch, and watched the three children playing in the yard. The oldest -a girl, with crimson colored hair- chased the younger ones, -a boy and a girl, both with dark brown hair, and looked to be the same age- all full of energy and laughter.

This was a fond memory of her childhood, their home in Lothering, roughly ten years ago he would guess. A man stepped out of the house, calling for the children to come clean up for supper, and Hawke looked up at him, a sad smile on her face. "I still miss you," Orsino heard her whisper, before the man, and the village began to fade away. When she rose to her feet and continued walking, Orsino followed, being sure to keep his distance.

"You do no belong here," a deep voice announced from behind, and startled Orsino. He eyed the being for a moment, and deciding it was not a threat -at least at the moment- he kept walking.

"What do you want, spirit?"

"To know your purpose for being here," the spirit answered.

"What concern is that of yours?"

"I will answer no questions until you tell me your purpose," the spirit demanded.

Orsino stopped, and turned to the spirit, his anger flaring. "I am here because the woman that I love is being tortured nightly in the Fade by an unknown force. I want to know the cause, so that I can put a stop to it. Now... either tell me why this concerns you, or leave me be."

He turned his back on the spirit, and began to walk once more, not wanting to let too much distance come between Hawke and himself.

"You care for her deeply," the spirit commented, falling into step beside him. "I know of the bond the two of you share."

Orsino continued forward silently, staying focused on his task. He would not allow the spirit to distract him, nor would he allow it to bait him into discussing their relationship, without knowing more about it's connection to Hawke.

"It is clear that she has not told you about me, but you are aware of how mages that call themselves spirit healers come about their powers, are you not?"

"I am. Are you the spirit that gave her that gift," Orsino asked. The spirit's presence began making more sense, as well as it's concern for her safety.

"I am, though the specifics of our bond should be her's to tell you. I act as her guardian in the Fade when she needs me."

"If that is the case, you should know of what has been happening to her. Why have you not helped her?"

The spirit frowned in response to his question. "I am aware of the torment she has been facing. The mage responsible is very powerful, and has found some way of preventing me from reaching her. Perhaps you will be able to help her, where I have failed. I have been forced to helplessly watch her suffer repeatedly... the only comfort I have been able to offer, is her lack of memory of the torture."

Orsino stopped at that, and faced the spirit. "You have been erasing her memories?"

The spirit shook his head, "Suppressing... not erasing. The memories are there, I have only blocked them."

"Do you have a name, Spirit? Something that I can call you?"

"She calls me Mercy. You may call me the same, if you wish."

Orsino nodded, and resumed walking. "I am thankful that you have kept her from remembering these attacks. She has enough to worry about without them."

"Yes, and there are still things she has yet to learn, that will undoubtedly cause her more pain in the future. At least now that she has you, she will not be alone with her sorrow."

Orsino frowned. "She will not be alone. But if you know something that would be that important to her, why have you not told her yourself?"

Mercy shook it's head, and peered out in the distance at Hawke. "A promise made prevents me from telling her. If she gains the knowledge by another means, I will answer her questions as the promise entailed, but I can not discuss it otherwise."

Annoyed, Orsino grew silent, and increased his pace. He would have to ask Hawke about Mercy later. Who had the spirit made a promise to?

Hawke entered a large house ahead of them, and as they approached the mansion, Orsino felt Mercy place a hand on his shoulder.

"She dreams of this place often. It was a place of solace and happiness for her, until her last visit. This is where the most recent attack happened, and the worst thus far. It will not be easy to for you to watch."

Orsino nodded mutely, and pushed open the door, steeling himself for whatever was to come.

* * *

><p>The Fade shifted subtly, and Orsino frowned at first, wondering what had happened, before he heard a familiar sound that sent a wave of heat down his spine, and he moved quietly toward it. Reaching an open doorway at the end of the hall, he peered into the dimly lit room, and froze as his breath caught in his throat.<p>

It felt strange, witnessing himself from the outside. But witnessing himself in the act of making love to Hawke from this perspective was unsettling, and yet equally erotic. The scene, and the aroma of the room flooded his senses, and Orsino shook his head. "We are in the Fade. This is not real," he reminded himself.

* * *

><p>Another shift, and Orsino's eyes widened as he watched Hawke instruct a young boy to summon a spell. The boy had dark hair, bright green eyes, and resembled Hawke. His rounded ears marked the child as being human, but his lithe frame, and the shape of his eyes gave away his half-elven heritage.<p>

A small unsteady flame appeared in the boy's hand, and he smiled brightly up at Hawke. "I did it," he exclaimed. "Papa will be proud when I show him. Won't he, Mama?"

Hawke smiled down at the boy, and nodded her head. "He certainly will be, sweetheart. Just as I am."

"Papa always says that 'fire is the most practical of elements for a mage to master'."

Orsino fought not to chuckle at the voice the boy used to mimic his words.

"I'm going to master fire just like Papa, and I am going to learn to heal like you, so I can take care of you when you get old," the boy continued, in a serious tone.

Hawke laughed, and mussed the boy's hair. "I am sure that we will both appreciate that when the time comes, Mal, but let's take your training one day at a time, shall we? Your Papa, and I aren't anywhere near being _old_ yet."

With another chuckled Hawke stood, and pulled the boy to his feet. "Speaking of your Papa, he will be home soon. Why don't you go get cleaned up while I start dinner, and afterward you can show him what you've learned today."

"Okay Mama," the boy responded happily, and ran up the nearby stairs.

Orsino's heart swelled at the scene he had just watched. He had no doubt in his mind that the boy, Mal, was their son... his son. To know that she dreamed of this often, having a child with him, a son that inherited their gift, living together like a normal family... It brought him back to the question he had considered asking her months before, but had never put a voice to it. Perhaps it wasn't such a foolish question after all.

A shrill scream echoed around him, interrupting his thoughts, and Mercy's last words rang loudly in Orsino's ears.

When the scream stopped, it turned into an annoyed growl, and Hawke was dragged into view by an unrecognized man wearing templar armor.

A noise from the second floor caused Orsino to look up, and there he spotted another templar dragging Mal down the stairs. Orsino swallowed thickly, and his hands balled into fists as he fought to reign in his desire to jump in and protect them. "We are in the Fade. It is not real," he repeated to himself again.

The templar dragging Hawke, pulled a chair to the center of the room, and threw her down into it. Grabbing two lengths of rope from his belt, he roughly pulled her arms behind the chair, and tied her wrists together. Then he used the other piece of rope to secure her ankles to the chair legs.

The child began struggling against the other templar, and Hawke fought weakly against her restraints. "Please, don't hurt my son... let him go," she pleaded.

"Shut up, whore!" Orsino flinched at the sound of the templar's metal-clad hand colliding with her jaw, and his anger grew exponentially at the sight of the blood that dripped from her mouth.

"You're gonna die," Mal stated calmly. "Papa's the most powerful mage ever, and he gets very angry when people hurt Mama."

"Do you know what templars do to mages, child," one of the templars asked. "Your Papa's power will matter not, when he is drained of his precious magic, and lies weak and helpless at my feet," the templar said with a laugh, and forced the boy to sit on the divan near the fire.

"What do you want," Hawke braved to speak again. "Under who's authority are you here?"

"Shut. Up!" The templar hit her again, this time on the opposite cheek.

Hawke laughed bitterly, and spit at the templar, before looking up at him with a bloody grin. "You should have listened to my son. My husband already knows that you are here. You will not catch him by surprise like you did me."

The templar gripped her chin, squeezing tight enough to bruise. "No one knows we are here. Your husband will be captured long before he even reaches the house."

"I wouldn't count on that," came Orsino's voice from the door. Both of the templars went flying across the room, and landed in a heap against the opposite wall.

"Papa," the boy shouted, and ran to throw his arms around Orsino's legs.

"Are you alright, Malcolm," dream Orsino asked, and the boy nodded in response.

Orsino watched himself cross the room, and kneel to untie Hawke, before pulling her up to her feet. Hawke hissed in pain as he placed his hands on either side of her face to heal the damage done by the templar, before pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

* * *

><p>The Fade shifted a third time, and the new scene before Orsino was heart wrenching. Hawke was on her knees wailing uncontrollably, tears streaming down her cheeks. The dream version of himself knelt next to her, a comforting hand on her back, as they both watched their son give in to the demon.<p>

"Maker's Breath," Orsino whispered, not wanting to see, but forcing himself to watch, as his dream self gritted his teeth, and struck down his son -turned abomination- with a summoned flame.

"Why," Hawke sobbed. "Oh Maker, why my little boy?"

Seeing her beating against his chest, Orsino was reminded of the previous night, and how she had fought him when he had tried to wake her. Had this been the same experience she'd had, or a different one?

* * *

><p>When the Fade shifted again, Mercy reappeared at Orsino's side, startling him slightly. "I thought you couldn't reach her," Orsino said gruffly, still ruffled by the last scene he'd watched.<p>

"I couldn't before, but you being here has caused it to persist longer than before, and the shield that was preventing me from reaching her has faltered."

Orsino nodded absently as he listened for any sound that might indicate Hawke's current location. "That scene I just witnessed, is that what happened her previous visit?"

"Yes," Mercy answered solemnly. "And although she is aware that she is in the Fade, the emotion's... the pain she feels is real."

Orsino paused as he rounded a corner, and spotted Hawke standing in the middle of a long corridor that closely resembled the halls in the Gallows. His dream-self was on his knees in front her, and a templar stood behind him, their sword held to his neck.

"Please..." Hawke pleaded with the templar. "He has done nothing wrong, please don't take him from me!"

The templar's laugh was cold and malicious as he slid the sword slowly across his throat. Orsino watched in horror as his body slumped forward, and fell to the floor.

Hawke dropped to her knees, pulled him into her lap, and frantically tried to heal him. The templar's laugh grew in intensity as he drained Hawke of her magic, and watched her fumble helplessly to stop the torrent of blood escaping the fatal cut.

* * *

><p>Another shift, and the templar was gone. A desire demon stood in his place. "I can bring him back," the demon drawled.<p>

Orsino frowned as the demon showed Hawke a vision of the two of them lying peacefully in his bed.

"I can even give you your son," the demon continued. Another vision appeared then, of he and Hawke sitting on the floor in front of the fire with the little boy she had imagined them having.

Tears began streaming down Hawke's cheeks again. "I..." she shook her head. "The boy is not real. This... is not real."

"You're still covered in their blood," the demon stated, pointing at the blood smeared across her hands and arms, and staining her robe. "Is that not real?"

Hawke stared down at her trembling hands for a long moment. Long enough that Orsino began to worry. He knew how she felt about making deals with demon's, but everyone has a weakness, and it seemed that this demon had found hers.

Orsino took a step forward, but stopped to look at the spirit behind him.

"Go to her," Mercy stated. "She needs you now."

Nodding, he continued forward several paces, before launching a fireball at the demon. Hawke's head snapped in his direction immediately, and she looked at him with confusion.

Offering her his hand, Orsino pulled Hawke to her feet, and held her close as the Fade began to shift around them once more.

This time a masked man appeared in front of them, and Orsino put himself between the new figure and Hawke.

"Who are you," Orsino demanded. "Why do you continue to torment her so?"

"Ah... the First Enchanter," said the masked figure. "So you are the one that keeps interfering. Why is that Orsino? Have you a soft spot for the Ferelden apostate?"

"Who are you," Orsino asked more forcefully, stepping closer to the mage.

The man chuckled, and shook his head. "I'm disappointed Orsino. As much as you have helped me make it this far into my research, you don't recognize me? Or perhaps you don't want your precious apostate to know of your contributions."

"Orsino... what is he talking about," Hawk asked hesitantly.

"I'm quite certain that I have no idea," Orsino answered, his eyes never leaving the masked figure.

"Oh he knows, darling. He just doesn't want to admit it to you, or himself. Because we are old acquaintances, Orsino, I will leave your lover alone for now on, as long as she stays out of my way. And, of course, I will expect your continued support if I am in need of it in the future."

With that, the mage vanished and left a perplexed Orsino, and an overwhelmed Hawke alone in the open Fade, the Black City looming darkly above them. When he turned to face Hawke, she was staring at him, pain clear in her eyes. "What the bloody hell is going on? What was he talking about?"

Orsino frowned and stepped towards her, but Hawke moved away from him.

"Tell me," she demanded, her words broken. "How could you have known who he was... helped him... and not said anything to me about it? He's been murdering people for Maker's sake!"

"Zalandra, I don't know..." Orsino paused when a shimmering light flashed behind Hawke, and Mercy appeared in it's place. The spirit gingerly placed his hands on her shoulders, and a faint glow emanated from them. After casting the spell Mercy removed his hands, and nodded to Orsino, before vanishing once more.

Hawke looked around in confusion, before refocusing on Orsino. "Orsino? What happened?"

Sighing deeply, Orsino stepped forward and pulled Hawke into his arms, which she happily allowed. She would not remember the conversation with the mysterious mage, or the events that led up to them. Orsino would forever have to live with the horrific memories etched into his mind. More importantly, he would remember the man's disturbing words, and would have to search harder if he was to find him, and put a stop to the murders.


	15. Whatever It Takes

**Disclaimer**: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belong to Bioware.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: I apologize for the semi-heavy game dialogue in this chapter. I try to avoid it as much as possible, but some of my readers have not played the game, so I needed to add in the extra depth that they would otherwise be missing.

* * *

><p><em>A strangled smile fell from your face<br>It kills me that I hurt you this way  
>The worst part is that I didn't even know<br>Now there's a million reasons for you to go  
>But if you can find a reason to stay<em>

_She said "If we're gonna make this work  
>You gotta let me inside even though it hurts<br>Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"  
>She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be<br>You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me" _

_I'll do whatever it takes, to turn this around  
>I know what's at stake, I know that I've let you down<br>And if you give me a chance, believe that I can change  
>I'll keep us together, whatever it takes<em>

_~*~ Whatever It Takes – Lifehouse ~*~_

Orsino leaned heavily on the staff trying to catch his breath. Raising his right arm, he wiped the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his tunic. His muscles ached as if they were on fire. The inability to use magic, meant moving around much more than his body was used to, and it showed. A quiet shuffle – one he would not have heard if not for his elven senses – was the only warning he got of the attacker's sudden approach.

Forcing his body into action – against his muscles' many protests – he spun around and just barely managed to raise his staff in time to intercept the blow aimed for his chest. A flurry of blows followed the first, and he blocked each one in turn before retaliating with a blow of his own. His opponent dodged the attack and came at him again, the attacks coming almost too fast for him to fend off.

His next offensive maneuver left him slightly off balance, and his opponent wasted no time in taking advantage of his miscalculation. His adversary's staff struck the back of his calves, sweeping his feet out from under him, and then it's wielder was promptly straddling his hips holding the weapon against his throat.

"Do you yield?"

His pride told him to say no, but pride was a dangerous emotion to fall prey to. "I yield," he said tiredly.

The staff was immediately withdrawn from his neck, and he groaned as he was pulled into a sitting position.

His opponent – still straddling his lap – smiled at him, her face mere inches from his. "I think my handsome elf deserves a reward for his splendid effort today. Perhaps a soak in a hot bath, followed by a message to loosen up his tense, sore muscles?"

Orsino smiled and leaned forward to catch her lips in a tender kiss. "I believe said elf would be considerably grateful for such a pleasant reward, but alas, he has work that must be taken care of before he can relax."

Hawke groaned and poked out her bottom lip. "I thought you came here to spend the day with me," she pouted.

After their meeting a few weeks ago, the Grand Cleric had ordered that Orsino be given at least two days per week – of his choice – to get out of the Gallows as long as he caused no trouble, and returned by nightfall. He still clearly recalled Meredith entering his office to give him that information. She had been so furious that he had thought the blood vessels in her head were surely about to explode.

Orsino gently bit her pouting lip and pulled slightly before releasing it and kissing her again. "We will still have most of the day, my dear. I came here first, so that we could get our training done before the sweltering heat of the day set in. I shouldn't be gone long. I just need to deliver a message."

"Messere Hawke." Hawke and Orsino both snapped their attention up to the dwarven servant, and Hawke climbed to her feet. "I'm sorry to interrupt Messere, but a message just arrived for you from the Viscount's office. I thought it might be important."

"No need to apologize, Bodahn. Thank you," Hawke said with a smile as she accepted the envelope with the Viscount's seal. Bodahn bowed his head slightly and turned back towards the house. Frowning Hawke turned back to Orsino, and offered him a hand to pull him up to his feet. Then she took a seat on the bench in the shade of the willow tree. After pealing open the letter, Hawke skimmed over it, and rolled her eyes with a sigh.

"What is it," Orsino asked, sitting down next to her.

"It just says that the Viscount wishes an audience with me about an urgent matter. Can't anyone in this city take care of their own problems," she said exasperatedly.

"I thought you liked helping people, my dear. That _is_ what you do every day..."

Hawke sighed again and nodded her head. "I do, and I wouldn't mind helping the Viscount at all, if it weren't for that arrogant ass of a Seneschal. Maker than man grates on my nerves."

Orsino's nose crinkled in distaste.

"My thoughts exactly," Hawke said with a chuckle. "Well, since you have something else to take care of, I will go change into something _proper_ and pay the Viscount a visit.

Standing, Hawke walked towards the house – stopping to pick up their training staves on her way. When she reached to open the door, long, slender fingers encircled her upper arm, pulled her around and backed her up against the wall.

"If the task given to you by the Viscount requires you to put yourself in danger, will you wait for me to join you," Orsino asked, his fingers resting against her neck, and his thumbs caressing the curve of her jaw.

Hawke hummed appreciatively at his tender touch. "I will if circumstances allow it."

Orsino frowned at her response, and Hawke placed her free hand on his chest. "When I find out what is needed, I will let you know. If trouble seems likely, I will go get Fenris, and then go to the Hanged Man for Varric. By then, perhaps you will be done with delivering your message and you can meet us there."

Orsino's frown lessened at her amended words, and he brushed the back of his fingers across one of her cheeks before pressing his lips tenderly to hers. "I will go swiftly then."

* * *

><p>Closing the door to her bedroom, Hawke leaned the practice staves against the wall, her brow creased in concern. Orsino had been acting strangely the last few weeks. Ever since the night he had entered her dreams, putting an end to whatever had been causing her forgotten nightmares.<p>

He had refused to tell her what had happened in the Fade, not wanting to cause her any unnecessary pain, but it was becoming more and more clear that it had pained him in some way. He seemed to be on edge any time they had to separate. He had begun asking her each night to recount her day from the time they had parted, until the moment they were reunited.

He fussed over the smallest cuts and bruises she obtained while on a job. A few days ago, he had even snapped at her angrily. Saying that she was being reckless and that Fenris wasn't doing his job to protect her.

Her temper had flared then. She had poked him in the chest and her voice had risen loudly. "Fenris is my friend, one that I trust implicitly to have have my back in a fight. He is not my bodyguard, nor my shield, and if you think I need or want one, then you are sadly mistaken," she had spat back at him.

His anger had disappeared then, just as quickly as hers had risen. In a flash he had pulled her into his chest, apologizing profusely and begging her to forgive his outburst. She had relented, accepting his apology, and had forced her anger to recede as well.

Taking a deep breath, Hawke decided that she would ask him about it tonight. Maybe he would relax if she could get him to talk about whatever was bothering him.

* * *

><p>"Good day, Serah Hawke," the guardsman greeted as he pushed open the large door to the Viscount's Keep and followed her inside. "It's been some time. You're here in Hightown now, right? I think the captain mentioned it. I see your uncle now and then on my patrols, but... we don't talk."<p>

Hawke chuckled quietly and shook her head. "I don't blame you. I wouldn't talk to him either if he were not family."

"It's Donnic, isn't it? How have you been? No ill effects from that ambush awhile back, I hope," she continued as the door closed behind them.

"They got me pretty good, I'll admit," Donnic said with a shrug, "but they fared worse, so I can't complain. Guard is a good career if you're careful. A short one if you're not. And the captain makes sure we're careful."

"Aveline is good at that," Hawke agreed with a smile.

"Aveline is good at what?" Looking up, Hawke saw Aveline standing at the top of the center staircase, her arms crossed firmly across her chest and a smirk on her face.

"At keeping peoples tail's out of trouble," Hawke told her with a laugh.

Donnic cleared his throat. "I... should go check the roster for my next patrol route. It was nice to see you again Serah Hawke. Captain." He nodded to each in turn, and continued up the stairs towards the barracks.

"What's going on, Hawke? I'm available for a bit, if you need me for something."

"I'm not sure yet. I was just on my way to see the Viscount. He sent a message to my estate requesting an audience with me about something urgent."

Aveline rolled her eyes. "Have fun with the Seneschal then. He's been even more of a pain in the ass than usual this morning."

"Great," Hawke replied with a frown.

"I'll be in my office. Come by and see me before you leave."

Hawke nodded to the captain. "I will, and thanks for the warning."

"Well the compound was not meant to be permanent. There are concerns the Qunari influence is..." Seneschal Bran paused when Hawke entered the office.

"No longer contained," he finished after a moment.

"Was it ever," Viscount Dumar replied. "Kirkwall has tension enough between templar and mage, but these Qunari... they sit like gargoyles waiting for Maker knows what and everyone goes mad around them. Nearly four years I've stood between fanatics... and now _this_," he gestured to a letter on his desk.

"Well don't keep us in suspense," Hawke said lightly. Bran frowned and shook his head, and the Viscount crossed his arms across his chest.

"Leave us." The viscount gestured at the door with his head. Bran turned to exit the office, and rolled his eyes at the bright smile Hawke gave him on the way by.

"Meredith at my throat, Orsino at my heels, and a city full of heretical giants. Balance is held because the Qunari ask for nothing. Even the space in Lowtown was a gift to contain them, but now... the Arishok has requested you... by name. What did you do?"

For some reason Hawke found humor in the way he asked that question, but she did her best to hide it. "I got his attention a couple of times... I guess I impressed him," she said with a shrug, "but that was years ago."

The Viscount shook his head. "It makes no sense, and it doesn't matter... I just need them quiet. I remember how you helped my son three years ago. It seems you are meant to have influence above your station. Speak to the Arishok. Give him what he needs to keep the peace. Can you do that for Kirkwall, Serah Hawke?"

"I'm always willing to assist, Viscount. I will go speak with him"

"Well that is an attitude this city has lacked for a long time. Appease the Arishok. Take his demand, and let him return to dormancy. As awkward as this has been, it is better than the alternative."

"How is your son? Have the years been kind to Saemus," Hawke asked after nodding her agreement.

"Well he is his own man, but your actions tempered him somewhat, he's not so angry at the world. I thank you for that. I may not agree with him on many things, but I am proud of what he is becoming."

"I'm glad to hear he is doing well. He seemed to be a nice young man," Hawke replied sincerely.

"Do you have any idea what I can expect from the Arishok?"

"None," the Viscount answered with a shake of his head, and crossing his arms across his chest once more. "Honestly I don't think I've heard two direct words from the Arishok. Other than his rather deliberate phrasing of "be gone". If you think his asking me to notify you of this is strange... well, you would be right"

Hawke sighed and leaned her shoulder against the wall. "I've seen hate for the Qunari, but I haven't heard anything major in years. Who is speaking out against them now?"

"Zealots are bravest where their lies can't be argued... behind closed doors. Chantry leaders see Qunari beliefs as a challenge, not an attack, but the message gets muddled among casual adherence. I'm certainly not equipped to argue the fine points of faith."

Hawke nodded in understanding. She was not equipped to argue it either. She did go to the Chantry regularly, but she wouldn't consider herself a devout Andrastian. How could she, considering the Chantry's views on mages? But the Qun was even worse, in more than just the way they treated those with the arcane gift.

"The Qunari usually arrive as conquerors. Odd that this has gone on so long."

"Very," he agreed. "And I have no interest in antagonizing them. That is partially why I suffer being a messenger today. A treaty exists, and it has been honored, although..."

"You have doubts," Hawke stated at his hesitation.

"They claim they're waiting for a second ship... but it has been three years. They want something else."

"Sounds to me like you'd be better off without this headache," she commented dryly.

"They will not leave, and we don't have the resources to force the issue." The Viscount leaned heavily upon his desk. "At least... not in a way that would leave the city intact. If they had come to conquer, I suspect they would have done so."

Hawke nodded again, and stood from her position against the wall. "I have a friend that is fluent in Qunari language and customs. I will ask him to accompany me, and we will see what the Arishok wants. I will do what I can to appease him, and will return once I have more information for you."

"Thank you, Serah Hawke. You're willingness to assist, is most appreciated."

* * *

><p>A couple of blocks from the designated meeting place, Orsino slipped into the shadows, and made his way to the desolate alley silently and unseen. He didn't have to wait long before a cloaked figure followed his steps into the alley, and stopped a few feet in front of him, unaware of his presence.<p>

Orsino knew that it was the man he had come to meet, without even having seen his face. He could sense the mage's energy, and his sensitive elven nose picked up the coppery scent of blood clinging to him. Orsino's eyes flashed with unbridled rage. A quick gesture with his right hand sent the mage into the air and he slammed into the wall with a grunt.

Orsino held him there, paralyzed, and flush against the wall several feet above the ground. He stepped forward, revealing himself in order to get close enough to see the man's face. Recognition sparked in the back of his mind, and he snarled up at the mage. "How did you escape the Circle," Orsino asked icily. "You were ordered to be made tranquil before I ever left Starkhaven."

Quentin laughed darkly. "You must be getting old, Orsino. It should not have taken you this long to find me and figure out who I was. As for the Circle, it was easy enough to escape. No more difficult than avoiding being recaptured here. Of course, you know first hand how easy it is to hide an apostate from the Circle."

"Silence!" Orsino tightened his magic's grip on the mage, making Quentin gasp for air. Lightening sparked from his fingertips and drove into the bound mage's chest.

Orsino summoned a small flame and set the soles of Quentin's slippers alight, using his will to keep it from spreading. Reaching into the sleeve of his robe, Orsino pulled out out a small dagger and held it up in front him.

"This belongs to the woman you spent the last several months terrorizing. It seems most befitting for her weapon to be the one end your miserable life."

Orsino's eyes were full of malice as he watched Quentin squirm against his hold. His nose wrinkled in disgust when the smell of burning flesh invaded his senses. Stepping forward, Orsino thrust the dagger into Quentin's torso, and twisted it several times. "You are getting off easy," Orsino growled, and ripped out the blade. "I have no stomach for this depravity, no matter how much you truly deserve it.

"_Orsino?"_

"_Yes, my love?" _

"_I'm bringing you a change of clothes to the Hanged Man. Can you meet us there?"_

"_I will be there..."_

Orsino inhaled sharply at a sudden onset of pain. His focus slipped completely, along with any semblance of coherent thought. Quentin crashed to the ground in front of him with a painful cry as his seared feet touched the cobbled stone.

Orsino felt as though the blood in his veins had been replaced by molten iron. His heart pounded violently, pumping the searing liquid throughout his rigid body. The agony drove him to his knees, a growled string of curses spilling from his lips. As the world began to fade to black, the only pain he recognized was the despair he felt. Believing that his life was coming to an end, and he was leaving behind the only woman who had ever dared to love him.

"You should have killed me when you had the chance, Orsino," Quentin choked out through gritted teeth. "But I will not kill you... the one you have been trying to protect will be the one to pay the price for your failure. You will be forced to watch as her heart shatters and crumbles to pieces at your feet."

Drawing power from the blood Orsino had spilled, Quentin muttered a short incantation. A thin stream of blood rose from his wound and stopped above his head before spiraling downward, encircling him, and then he vanished from sight.

Orsino fell forward onto his hands, gasping harshly as the pain slowly began to recede. He groaned, and shook his head in an attempt to clear his shambled thoughts. He could hear Hawke's voice in the back of his mind, frantic and pleading, but it was too distant for him to make out the words. When his heartbeat returned to normal, and his blood no longer pounded loudly in his ears, he was eventually able to recall what she had said just before he had lost control of the situation.

"_I... will be at the tavern," _he finally managed to reply.

"_Orsino, what happened? Are you alright?"_

Pulling in a shuddering breath, Orsino shakily climbed to his feet. The minor traces of blood magic still prickled his senses, making him feel queasy. Pressing his palms firmly against his temple's, he summoned a healing spell, and sighed gratefully at the instant relief it brought him.

"_No need to worry, my dear. I'll see you shortly."_

Quentin's parting words still rang loudly in Orsino's ears, adding fuel to the fire that had compelled him to hunt the mage in the first place. He would have to continue his search even more diligently than before. Sighing deeply, he pressed the wrinkles out of his robe, and exited the alley as stealthily as he had entered.

* * *

><p>Seeing Orsino standing next to the table in Varric's room, Hawke blindly tossed the clothes she had brought onto the table, and quickly closed the distance between them.<p>

"Thank the Maker you're okay," she whispered as her arms slid around his waist, and she buried her face against his neck.

Orsino wrapped his arms around her and pressed his cheek against her hair. "I told you there was no need to worry, my dear."

"But I felt it, Orsino. The pain... so much pain"

Orsino grimaced and wondered – not for the first time – if the person who had written that magical tome of hers knew what the term _rare_ meant. Of all the so-called rare anomalies mentioned in that book, this had been the one he had hoped would never occur. How do you reassure your lover that all is well when they are fully aware that that is not the case?

"It has passed," he murmured into her hair. "I..." Orsino paused and shook his head slightly, "Lets not worry about that now, we can talk about it later. What did the Viscount ask of you? You mentioned that I would need to change?"

Hawke's arms tightened around his waist, and Orsino closed his eyes briefly. Would he lose her if she learned the truth of his actions today or would she understand? Would she be able to forgive him if she knew how he had unknowingly helped Quentin, or would she deem him to be just as vile? Surely she would see the truth behind his actions... that he had felt guilty once he had discovered the truth... that he had tried to make things right – even if he had failed miserably...

Orsino's eyes popped open when Hawke pulled back to look up a him. "The Arishok wishes to speak with me. I have been tasked with finding out what he wants, and doing what I can to appease him," she said quietly. "Fenris suggested that we not enter the compound looking like mages, seeing as though they keep their's on leashes and all."

Hawke grew silent for a moment and her brows furrowed as she placed a hand on his cheek. Her magic pulsed through him and Orsino knew she was searching for injuries. "Are you sure you're all right," she asked after the magic faded.

Orsino nodded and kissed the spot between her brows, easing away her concerned expression. "I am alive, and I still have you. As long as those two things remain true, I could ask for nothing more. Now, allow me to change, and we'll go see what ails the Arishok."

Hawke nodded and allowed him to pull away. Then she stepped outside Varric's room, closing the door behind her. Leaning her back against the wall she again considered Orsino's strange behavior over the last few weeks. She hoped that when they did get the chance to talk later, that he would finally shed some light on whatever was causing his distress.

* * *

><p>"Serah Hawke," greeted the Arishok as the group approached.<p>

"Messere," Hawke replied with a respectful nod.

"Last we met, I did not know your name. Did not care to. You have changed your fortune over the years. The Qunari have not. I offer a courtesy, Hawke. Someone has stolen what he thinks is the formula for gaatlok. You will want to hunt him."

"Sounds like the recovery should be worth something to me."

"A thousand lives," the Arishok answered to her unspoken question. "The stolen formula was a decoy. Saar qamek – a poison gas, not explosives. A small amount is dangerous enough to your kind. But if made in quantity, perhaps someone intending to sell it..."

Hawke frowned as she realized what the Arishok was insinuating. "That merchant... Javaris."

The Arishok shrugged his massive shoulders. "Would he be cautious, or would he assume success, and make enough to threaten a district? A courtesy, Hawke. You will want to hunt him."

"Yes, yes, I get it," Hawke thought to herself. "So, how dangerous does this fake mixture become?"

"It is not a threat to Qunari. For your kind... it is as dangerous as those who breath it."

"Can you elaborate?"

"The gas kills. But first, it turns allies against their own in blind rage. So... the greater the skill of those sent against us. The more dangerous they become to their own people."

"Hard to control at the best of times," she said with slight annoyance.

"It is no longer our problem."

Hawke barely managed to refrain from sighing in exasperation. "You made your hate for this city clear three years ago. Why give me this warning?"

"I don't call anyone in Kirkwall an ally, or even a good rival," he said with a wide sweep of his arm. "But you have shown competence. The day comes when the Qun will demand an accounting, until then... I will show respect to the most promising among you."

Having had enough of the horned giant's deliberate obtuseness, Hawke turned her attention to the rogue at her side. "Varric, any idea where we can find Javaris?"

"I heard about a sell-off, merchant territories and such. They don't do that unless someone left in a hurry. I'd have figured he rooked some noble. He's sure not a burglar."

"Just tell me where he is..."

"I haven't kept up on the squirt," Varric said with a shrug. "Ask the Coterie."

"Panahedan, Hawke. I do not hope you die." Hawke frowned at the Arishok's comment, but forced a neutral expression when she turned her focus back to him. Without saying a word, she offered a polite bow of her head, before leading her companions out of the compound.

"Well he was more pleasant than I expected," Orsino commented dryly as they made their way to Darktown.

Hawke huffed and shook her head. "Asking him to speak more than two words at a time is like pulling teeth... but it could have been worse I suppose. He could have started shouting "Bas Saarabas"," her voice grew deeper as she attempted to imitate the Arishok, and waved her hands in mock panic, "and trying to leash us with iron collars."

"They would not leash a non-Qunari mage, they'd just kill you," Fenris spoke from in front of them.

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine." Hawke replied with a sarcastic grin.

"There's a reason I call him broody," Varric interjected.

"I do not brood..." Fenris muttered, earning a laugh from the rest of the group.

* * *

><p>It had not taken them long to find the Coterie contact that had set up shop in Darktown to sell off the assets of Javaris Tintop. The contact had told them that the dwarf had likely taken route out of the city through Smuggler's Cut and the group had followed the path easily, felling any thugs that dared stand in there way.<p>

When they had finally caught up to the swindling dwarf, he had immediately set his hired goons upon the group, forcing them to slay them all before Hawke managed to corner him.

"Calm yourself, Javaris. You're not dead yet..." Hawke told the cowering dwarf.

"You? Granny's garters, she would hire _you_. I can't buy a break on discount," Javaris said incredulously. "You know what? Go ahead. Take my head and pike back to that sodding elf! I need a rest."

Hawke raised an eyebrow. "Elf? I'm not sure what you're on about. I'm here about the Qunari powder, it's not what you think. It's poison."

"Wait... you're tracking for the Qunari? Then she did it," he said with a rapid shake of his head. "That elf got them after me for nothing. Bitch born!"

"Ah, I knew he was no burglar. We're not climbers," Varric said from behind Hawke.

"Look..." Javaris continued, ignoring his comment. "I'm minding business, same old, and out of the blue some elf tried to kill me. Says she's got the Qunari powder and I'm her cover." Javaris began to pace back an forth, "I slipped her, hired some bodyguards, and ran for it." Stopping, he looked over his shoulder at Hawke. "And now you're here. Great."

"Javaris, if you're innocent, why not plead your case to the Arishok?"

Javris's hand raised in front of him in a placating manner. "Let's break this down. An elf with explosives wants me dead. Part two... the Qunari think I'm a thief and also want me dead. Either option seem promising? Didn't think so. Here, you want to drag dark into light, I had a man follow her. The elf's in Lowtown. I just want to get out with my..." taking a quick look around, he frowned, "_dead_ guards. Thanks for that..."

Hawke sighed and shook her head. "Better luck wherever you're bound, Javaris. The farther the better."

"Right. Got me a rosy future to plan out," he replied scornfully. "Think I'll start by selling some boots." Turning away, Javaris leaned down and began unlacing the boots of one of his dead guards.

As the group turned and headed back to the city Hawke chuckled at Javaris' fading mutterings. "Hire cheap guards, Hawke kills them. Hire good guards, Hawke kills them. Sodding bunch of... take a long breath on short a shaft you... blasted dog-lord in-roaders."

* * *

><p>"As dangerous as it may be for the two of you to be fighting together within the city, I would feel better if you would ask Anders to go with you. You don't know if this elf will try to use this gas against you, and having another healer could greatly increase your odds of survival if she does."<p>

"Orsino, I know you are just voicing your concern, but please try not to worry yourself so much," Hawke replied, and squeezed the hand he had interlaced with hers. "I will send a runner to Anders' clinic asking him to meet us near the location Javaris told us to look, but if she does use the gas – depending on the quantity and the area of it's release – there may be several inhabitants of the surrounding area in need of a healer. We can't risk both of us becoming exposed, so I will leave Anders at a safe distance to set up triage for any civilians that may need to evacuate."

"Perhaps I could go with you then. Will you wait long enough for me to go speak with Ser Cullen, Orsino asked desperately. "Surely he would allow me to assist since this is a direct threat to the city."

"Love, please... I don't really want you there," Hawke said with a shake of her head. "If things go badly – don't look at me like that, let me finish," she added in response to his frown. "If things go badly – which we both know they often do – I may need you when this is all over, and you won't be of much help if you are in need of it yourself."

"I..." Orsino started, but snapped him mouth shut and shook his head. Grasping her chin with his free hand, he tilted her head up, forcing her eyes to stare into his own. "Promise me that you will not push yourself so far that you are unable to get to me. Promise me that if you find yourself in trouble and in need of me, you will come to me immediately – even if it means you have return afterward. You'll be helping no one by disregarding your own health while stubbornly trying to save everyone else."

"Orsino, you can't expect me..."

"Promise me," Orsino demanded more sternly. He refused to leave without receiving that promise, no matter the repercussions of his belated return. He wondered – somewhat guiltily – if his incessant need to embrace and protect her made him a terribly selfish man, or just and incredibly devoted lover.

"I promise." The words were merely a whisper from her lips.

"Thank you," he whispered before capturing her lips with his own. He decided at that moment that if loving her as much as he did – wanting nothing more than to keep her at his side – meant that he was indeed a selfish man, then he was the most selfish man that lived in all of Thedas.

Orsino broke the kiss and reluctantly pulled away from her. The only farewell he offered her was a rather defeated sounding, "Be careful," before he turned his back on her and boarded the boat that would take him back to the Gallows. He could not bear to linger another moment. He'd known from the day they had begun their affair that their relationship would be dangerous, and that she lived a dangerous life.

The day he had realized that he was helplessly in love with her, his mind had traitorously began imagining all of the horrible ways she might be taken from him on any given day. For nearly three years he had managed to ignore those foreboding thoughts, but ever since he had followed her into the Fade he had been in a constant state of dread. An oppressive and constant fear, relentlessly gripping and clawing at his heart.

"_I love you." _

Snapped out of his dark thoughts, Orsino looked back towards the dock as the boat pulled away. Hawke was still standing where he had left her; her arms hugging her chest against the cool breeze coming off the Waking Sea.

"_And I love you."_

* * *

><p>"Is that... Serah Hawke? You have enemies. Glad it's you really. These poor people... You are a much better target."<p>

"More crazy," Hawke muttered as she stared up at the elf on the platform above. They had managed to seal off the barrels that had filled the district with the poisonous gas, but Hawke's lungs were on fire and her head was pounding relentlessly. Taking a painful deep breath, she spoke louder so that her voice would carry up to the crazed elf. "You stole the gaatlok, what, to sell? Justify yourself!"

"Qunari take my people! My siblings forget their culture, then go to the Qun for purpose. We're losing them twice! So, I get some help from your people. We'll take the Qunari thunder, make some accidents, and make them hated! But this... this is all wrong."

Hawke's jaw tightened. The crazy bitch intended to use the Qunari explosives in order to accuse them of attacking us. Maker, what is wrong with people? "Which of "my people" put you up to this theft," Hawke asked with a frown.

"It can still work," the elf went on. "They are hidden in your city. They'll enrage the faithful, and make sure the Qunari are blamed! Me... I'm finished. I just need a few more bodies. A few more."

With those final words, all hell broke loose, and enemies poured out of the nearby buildings by the dozens. Hawke soon found herself surrounded, cut off from her companions, and breathing raggedly as she fought off the onslaught of her foes. Her staff, glowing brightly from the magic she had infused it with at the beginning of the fight, struck each opponent with trained precision, taking them out of the fight as quickly as they had entered.

When more began to charge in at her with the intent of overwhelming her, Hawke focused fully on her connection to the Fade, and orbs of fire began hailing down all around her, engulfing everything within five meters in an inferno. When the spell died, Hawke's eyes scanned the area and quickly spotted Fenris closing in on her location. Her lungs were screaming by this point and a harsh cough wracked through her body.

When Fenris reached her, he wrapped an arm around her waist to support her. "Hawke, we need to get you to Anders," he rasped. Hawke shook her head in response and pushed a burst of healing energy through the elf. "Hawke, don't..." he protested, but she ignored his objection.

Feeling his strength return, she ended the spell, and gripped the top of his breastplate to pull his head closer to her mouth so that he could hear her better. "I need you... to get everyone to safety. Can you do that for me," she said between labored breaths.

Fenris frowned, but gave her a firm nod of his head. "Thank you..." she said quietly, and pushed him away from her. Pulling at the last remnants of her energy, the familiar red glow encased her, and she collapsed onto the floor of Orsino's chambers in a painful coughing fit.

When the coughing stopped, she searched around the room with slightly blurry vision, and panic began to set in when she realized Orsino wasn't there.

"_Where are you," _she asked as she broke into another fit. The heels of her palms pressed hard into the sides of her head in and effort to dull the throbbing pain that accompanied each forceful cough.

"_I was delayed, but I am on my way to my chambers. What's happening? Where are you?"_

"_Please hurry," _was her only response.

Orsino hastened his pace and when he turned the corner into the corridor that led to his chambers, and out of sight of any templars, he broke into a full run, readying his key on the way. When he reached the door he could faintly hear Hawke's harsh cough through the thick solid oak. Unlocking the door with habitual ease, he rushed inside, shoving the door closed behind him.

Hawke felt the healing spell reach her moments before Orsino's hands grasped her and pulled her up into his arms. Her fingers grabbed onto the front of his robe, and she pressed her forehead against his chest as he forced the toxic gas to expel from her heaving lungs.

It took several minutes before her coughing finally relented, and her breathing was again steady and deep. Bowing his head, Orsino pressed a kiss against her hair. "I should have been here... after I made you promise... I'm so sorry, my dear."

"It's okay, Orsino," Hawke replied quietly, her voice still slightly scratchy.

"No it isn't," he said in a rueful tone. "I made a foolish mistake this morning, the consequences of which has put you in an unknown amount of danger. If I can't even be here when I know that you are likely to need me, how am I supposed to protect you from a threat I am the cause of?"

Hawke raised her head to look at him, her brows knitted in confusion. "What happened this morning? You said you were just going to deliver a message, but I suspect that you did not tell me the whole truth. Something has been bothering you for weeks... did this morning have something to do with that?"

Orsino frowned and looked away from her. He'd known she would ask about his recent change in behavior. He knew that he should come clean and tell her everything, but he was too afraid of what she might do if she knew the whole truth.

"The message I went to deliver was... to be a fatal one," he said slowly. "Unfortunately, due to a grievous oversight on my part, things did not go as planned."

"Is that some cryptic way of saying you went out today with the intention of killing someone, but you failed to do so," she asked in disbelief.

Orsino stared blankly at her for a moment. Had he really thought he'd get away with that explanation without her figuring it out. No, he decided. He had just hoped that she would not question it; though he knew better than that as well.

"Yes," he admitted with a sigh. "I discovered a way to contact the mage that you were hunting – the one that attacked you. A few days ago I sent him a letter asking him to meet with me. I received his reply yesterday."

"I'm assuming you have a good reason for not telling me about this before now?"

"Quite simply, he has been after you ever since he had Ser Emeric killed. I didn't want you involved. If things had gone as I'd planned..."

"He'd be dead and no longer a threat to me, or anyone else in Kirkwall," Hawke finished for him. "But he escaped, and now you are afraid he will come after me in revenge."

"I am going to continue to look for him. If I can locate his residence, we can go after him – together this time. If only I had not been so foolish," he said with a shake of his head. Reaching into his sleeve, he pulled out her dagger and extended it to her. "I used this... at the time it had seemed most appropriate, but..."

"But he turned the blood against you before you were able kill him," Hawke stated quietly when Orsino grew silent. At his nod, she broke eye contact with him and Orsino's heart clenched in fear at what her next words would be. If she was angry, he could deal with that. He deserved it. But what he couldn't deal with was the thought of her leaving.

"I can't say that I approve of your decision to keep this from me," she said sadly, still not looking at him. "I would never have kept something like this from you and before now... I truly wouldn't have imagined you keeping such a thing from me." Slowly turning her eyes back up to his, Orsino could see the pain in her eyes. "I'm not angry and I understand why you didn't want to tell me, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I thought that I – no, it doesn't matter."

Hawke's eyes closed and she shook her head softly. Pulling out of his arms she slowly climbed to her feet. "Thank you for healing me. I left Fenris in charge of making sure everyone got out safely. I need to check in with him, and... I need some air. I'll be back later."

"Wait," Orsino called and hurried over to her. "Please... allow me to go with you. I know you are upset with me, but..."

"No." Hawke placed a hand gently on his chest. "I love you, Orsino, and that will never change, but right now I really just need some time to myself. I'm sorry."

Raising up on her tiptoes, she pressed her lips to his cheek and Orsino pulled her tightly to him. "I'm sorry," he whispered next to her ear. "I love you."

Releasing her, Orsino leaned down to pick up her staff from the floor, and pressed it reverently into her hands. Hawke placed one hand over his and squeezed lightly, before taking a step backwards and teleporting away.

* * *

><p>Hawke dropped onto her bed with a sigh. Staring blankly at the red canopy hanging above, she allowed her thoughts to drift aimlessly. A familiar feeling tightened painfully in her chest, one that she had thought gone forever. Fear. The same fear she had felt when she had realized that she was falling for Orsino, only this time it was twice as terrifying.<p>

She had let him into her heart, pushing back the fear she had felt, allowing him to convince her that he would never hurt her. But now she felt as though he had betrayed her. Like he didn't trust her enough to fully open up, to allow her see the deeper, darker side of himself. Had he truly only been trying to protect her, or had he been afraid that she would look at him differently if she had known what he was planning?

She knew that there was more to the story than what he had admitted to her. Whatever happened in the Fade had to be connected somehow, but was that all or was there more to it?

Closing her eyes, Hawke took a deep breath, and released it slowly. She would forgive him for now, knowing that he had not meant for things to happen as they had, or to hurt her as he had done. She would have to have a talk with Mercy though. Perhaps the spirit would be able to shed some light on the events she was unable to recall.

* * *

><p>When Hawke returned to Orsino's chambers several hours later, Orsino was laying on the bed, still wearing his mage's robe. Unsure of whether he was awake or not, Hawke eased around to her side of the bed, and slipped off her boots.<p>

Walking back to the foot of the bed, she leaned over and gently began to remove his as well.

"You came back." Orsino's voice barely broke through the silence in the room.

Hawke looked up at him as she slid his boots under the edge of the bed. "I told you I would."

Walking up beside him, she sat down on the edge of the bed and began unhooking the clasps on his robe. "Were you planning to sleep fully clothed?"

"I... no," was all he said in response.

"Sit up," she told him after she had unfastened his robe completely. Orsino did as she asked, and Hawke brushed her fingers up his chest before pushing his robe off his shoulders.

When his arms were free, Orsino slowly raised his hands and placed them on either side of her neck, much like he had done earlier in the morning. Hawke gave him a small smile and put her hands on top of his.

"I believe I still owe a certain someone a soak in a hot bath, followed by a relaxing massage," she said after a moment. "Do you think my handsome elf is ready to accept my previously offered reward, or will he deny me a second time?"

Orsino's eyes slipped closed, and for the first time since she had left he found that he could breath easily. Thinking back to the words he had replied with the first time, Orsino opened his eyes, rested his forehead against hers, and smiled. "I believe said elf would be considerably grateful for such a pleasant reward, and he would be an absolute fool to deny you anything."

Hawke's smile grew brighter at his response. Moving her hands to his face, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. "A wise choice of words," she said with a playful smile before standing and pulling him up after her.

Orsino allowed her to lead him to the washroom, his confidence slowly returning with each loving smile, and every tender caress. He knew that this was not over – not until Quentin was dead once and for all – but for now she was still his, and he would do whatever it took to hold onto her.


	16. Duck and Run

**Disclaimer**: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belong to Bioware.

* * *

><p><em>All my work and endless measures never seem to get me very far<br>Walk a mile just to move an inch now, even though I'm trying so damn hard_

_This world can turn me down, but I won't turn away  
>And I won't duck and run, cuz I'm not built that way<br>When everything is gone, there is nothing there to fear  
>This world can not bring me down, no cuz I am already here<em>

_I am already here, down on my knees  
>I must have told you a thousand times, I'm not running away<em>

_~*~ Duck and Run – 3 Doors Down ~*~_

"What's up," Hawke asked as she plopped down in the chair. "Orsino said the note you sent to his office sounded urgent." She quirked an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic frown that spread on her friend's face. "Come on, Varric... it can't be _that_ bad."

Varric sighed heavily and shook his head. "It's taken me a lot longer than I would have liked, but I finally managed to acquire some information about those dwarves that attacked Aveline, Carver, and Orsino several months ago. Unfortunately what I have isn't much to go on, but it's enough to cause concern."

Hawke reached over and lightly patted Varric's arm. "It's okay, Varric. Whatever it is, we can handle it. Tell me what you know."

"One of my sources discovered that the men you encountered belonged to a Carta group that has been working somewhere outside of the city for the last couple of years. None of my contacts know exactly where the group's base of operations is. Nor could they tell me what they are planning. The only concrete information I have is..." Varric hesitated. Hawke needed to know what he had found, but he really wished he didn't have to be the one to tell her. He had thought about having Orsino tell her, but she deserved to hear it straight from him. "The attack was not just a random event," he said finally. "They had a specific goal."

Hawke squeezed his arm and nodded for him to continue. "The first bits of information I received made me think that they were specifically after you... but the more I dug the more it became clear that there wasn't a specific target, only a specific lineage."

"Lineage? A human... a mage?"

Varric shook his head. "A Hawke."

"A Hawke," she repeated with a frown. "You mean they were after my brother?"

"Or you," Varric corrected. "Your brother just happened to offer them the first opportunity."

"Wait. If they were after _either_ of us... then they weren't sent to kill, but to capture."

"Yes, that is what I concluded as well," he admitted.

Hawke stood from her chair, and Varric watched her pace back and forth across the room. "But why, Varric? What purpose could they have for kidnapping one of us?"

"I don't have that answer Hawke. I only know they were looking for..."

Hawke halted her when he hesitated again and narrowed her eyes at the dwarf. "Come on, Varric, I need to know what you know."

"I am aware, Hawke. It's just..." Varric groaned and rubbed a hand down his face. "Would you please come back over here and sit down. You're making me nervous."

Hawke deflated and nodded, retaking her seat next to him with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Varric. You know how worked up I get when the people I care about are threatened."

"I do, beautiful," Varric replied and extended his arm across the table. Hawke placed her hand in his, and he squeezed it gently. "From what I gathered the dwarves were half-crazed, and not making much sense," he said quietly. "The only thing my contacts could tell me for certain was that they were looking for the blood of Malcolm Hawke."

Hawke tensed at the name and her eyes widened.

"I'm sorry, Hawke. I didn't really want to tell you without having more information, but... well, you're my friend and they may come after you or Carver again. I had to warn you... and I thought it might be easier for you to learn of the link to your father from me, rather than from the enemy."

Hawke squeezed Varric's hand before pulling hers away. "Thank you, Varric. You're a good friend. If there's nothing else..."

"Actually, there is," Varric said slowly. "More bad news - or good depending on how you look at it. I've had an ear out for Bartrand. After the Deep Roads he ran to Rivain, probably because he knew I couldn't track him. But I hear he might be back in Kirkwall. He called in loans from a few of his contacts in Hightown."

"Would Bartrand really risk coming back here after he left us for dead in the Deep Roads," Hawke asked dubiously.

"I think we both know by now that Bartrand would risk anything for money. There's a much better market here for that trinket he stole and all his contacts are in Kirkwall."

"How are you, Varric," Hawke asked sincerely. "It can't be easy knowing he's back after all this time."

Varric huffed. "Me," he asked with a chuckle. "My no account, back-stabbing brother is practically in arm's reach. I couldn't be better."

"Okay then... was he staying in Hightown, or just passing through?"

"If my information is good – and it's always good – he has a house there. Which gives us a good shot at having a word with my dear sweet brother. Bianca's been missing him something awful. Let's stop by his new house; welcome him back to the neighborhood and all that."

"Sound good, Varric. We can go first thing tomorrow morning if that's alright? I have a few things I need to handle today."

Varric nodded his assent, and Hawke gave him a small smile as she rose from her seat.

* * *

><p>Orsino opened the small box and set it down in front of him on his desk. He eyed the contents apprehensively, scolding himself for allowing something so tiny and simple to affect him as it was. It wasn't really the contents of the box that had him out of sorts. It was the symbol the contents represented, and the anxiety of not knowing if Hawke would accept it as readily as she may have just days before. A soft knock at his door startled him. Quickly closing the box, he dropped it into a drawer, and busied himself with his paperwork. "It's open."<p>

He heard the door open and close again, and Orsino's gaze snapped up at the intruder when he heard the lock click in to place. Orsino climbed to his feet, a small flame sparking in his hand. When the hooded figure turned to face him, they quickly raised their hands out in front of them in a placating manner, and his eyes narrowed as they slowly reached up further to push the hood away from their face. The flame in Orsino's hand died immediately and he frowned at his guest as she closed the distance between them. "Maker... I'm beginning to think that you do these kinds of things to purposefully terrify me. _What_ are you doing here?"

"Relax, love," Hawke whispered. Pulling his face down to hers, she pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. "I needed to see you and Ser Cullen gave me an excuse to come to your office instead of waiting until this evening. I need to ask you for a favor."

"You're shaking," Orsino said worriedly, grasping her hands in his. "What's wrong?"

"I need to talk to Carver. Could you get him for me... bring him here so we can speak in private?"

"I will see what I can do, but will you please tell me what this is about?"

Hawke sighed and nodded weakly. "The attack on the docks. The day you almost..." her voice trailed off without finishing the thought. "I now know what they wanted. I will tell you what I know, but I need you to try to get my brother so I can talk to you both."

Orsino leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I will go find him then. Don't open the door for anyone while I am gone. I have my key."

Hawke nodded and squeezed his hands before releasing them. She wasn't looking forward to having this discussion. She'd already warned Bodahn not to let any strangers into the house, and commanded Zedicus to remain on guard in case the estate was attacked while she was away. On her way to see Aveline, she had run into Fenris and he had accompanied her to the Keep. She'd explained what she knew to them – leaving out the details about her father's possible connection – and they had both expressed concern about her traveling around the city alone. Aveline had even offered to escort her to the gallows to request a meeting with Carver, but Hawke had declined the offer.

This was a family matter. As close as she was to Aveline, Fenris, and even Varric; her father was still a touchy subject. She wasn't sure that she could control her emotions, and she refused to allow herself to fall apart in front of her friends.

About ten minutes passed before she heard the key enter the lock of the office door, and Carver was the first to enter through it.

"You shouldn't be here," the templar hissed when the door closed behind them. "Why didn't you tell me she was here," he directed at Orsino.

The elf shook his head and sighed. "What was I supposed to do, Carver? Announce her presence for all in the barracks to hear?"

"Carver, please," Hawke spoke softly. "We need to talk. There is... something you need to know."

"Is it Mother," Carver asked as he crossed the small office. "Has she been harmed?"

"No. Mother is safe," she assured him. "You and I on the other hand..."

Carver noticed her trembling hands and gathered his sister in his arms. "It's alright, Sister. What has you so upset? Orsino said this was about that attack on the docks?"

Carver glanced at Orsino, and noticed the elf's hands twitching at his sides. He too was having trouble seeing Hawke in such a state of distress. "Come, Sister, " he said after a moment. "Sit, and talk to us."

Hawke nodded and let Carver lower her into one of the chairs in front of Orsino's desk. Carver sat in the one next to it, while Orsino grabbed his chair and dragged it around to sit at her other side.

"The only thing Varric knows for sure about the dwarves is that they were a part of the Carta. They belonged to a group that has been working outside of the city, and he is unsure where their current hideout is. We don't know who is leading the group, or the motive for their attack, but Varric was able to find out what they wanted..." Hawke paused and took a deep breath.

Orsino intertwined his fingers with hers and gently caressed the back of her hand. Carver regarded her with a concerned look, but remained silent while she gathered her thoughts.

"They want the blood of Malcolm Hawke," she continued after some time. "Namely you or myself." Her eyes locked on her brother as she said the words.

"I don't know why they are after us, or what Daddy has to do with it, but knowing that there are more of them out there gives me the feeling that we haven't seen the last of them. You need to be careful, Carver. Don't take on any solitary patrols if you can avoid it, and be sure to remain alert until we figure out what all of this about."

Carver was quiet as he digested the information. He wasn't much concerned for his own safety – as no one was likely to attempt an attack on him inside the Gallows with so many templars about – but he worried for his sister and their mother.

"Perhaps you should rent a place for Bodahn and Sandal for the time being. Get Mother to stay with Gamlen, and you should stay with him," Carver nodded to Orsino.

"Absolutely not." She'd already considered that option and had decided against it. "I won't make Mama move back into that hovel with her miserable, inconsiderate brother."

"Then we will spend our evenings at your estate," Orsino offered quietly, "so that we can ensure their safety. Will that ease your concern somewhat," he directed at the younger sibling.

"It's better than nothing," Carver said with a sigh. "But how do you intend to do that if you can't – no... never mind. I don't want to know."

Carver's eyes turned back to Hawke and he picked up her free hand. "Sister... I'm sorry that I can't be there to help you through this."

"It's okay, Carver," she said with what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "I am not facing this alone. Orsino will be with me. Aveline has arranged an extra patrol to keep an eye on the house at night, and Fenris is nearby if he is needed."

Carver nodded and slowly stood. "I need to get back to the barracks before the Knight-Commander discovers I'm not at my post."

When Carver reached the door he and Orsino lock eyes briefly, exchanging some sort of unspoken agreement. Then he gave Hawke one last nod and slipped out of the office.

"My dear, I know it's not ideal, but I think you should reconsider your brother's suggestion. Refusing to do so only puts your family in unneeded danger. You must know this."

Hawke looked down at their entwined fingers in her lap. "I do. But what reason can I give my mother, Orsino? I can't tell her what I just told you. She'd worry herself sick."

"I don't know," Orsino admitted. "I'll think on it. In the mean time I want you to go to my chambers and wait for me there. I'll be there as soon as I can manage."

Hawke shook her head. "Not yet. I told you Ser Cullen gave me an excuse to come see you. What's wrong with Feynriel. Cullen said he's in bed and can't be roused... that you won't allow anyone into his room; not even his mother?"

Orsino frowned and stood to move his chair back behind his desk. "I'm afraid I am not very knowledgeable about the boy's condition. Since you sent him here years ago his dreams have only gotten worse and the demons continue to pursue him like no other mage I have seen. After doing considerable research, I believe he is what the Tevinters call "somniari" a dreamer. Dreamers can control the Fade, which would explain why the demons hunt him as they do."

Orsino crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the side of his desk. "He went to sleep yesterday and no one has been able to wake him. I did turn away Arianni, but I told her to contact the Dalish Keeper to see if she could help."

"Can't one of the mages here enter the Fade and pursue him?"

"It isn't that simple. If it is what I fear, it would have to be someone Feynriel trusts. The demons have likely tied him in a web, similar to the one you and I experienced in the past. I was able to figure out the ruse at the time, because I wasn't expected to be there, and it was your trust in me that allowed us to fight our way out."

Hawke chewed on her bottom lip as she considered their options. "I can do it then. He trusts me, at least enough to know that I would cause him no harm. I promised Varric my help tomorrow morning, but as soon as we are done I will go see Arianni. Perhaps by then she will have heard from Keeper Marethari. We can only hope that the demons don't get through to him before help arrives."

Orsino nodded and extended a hand to pull Hawke to her feet. "The Dalish have an old ritual that will allow her to send you into the Fade. It will be dangerous, but I know that you are more than capable of handling a few demons."

Hawke nodded and raised up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "I should go out the way I came in so that Ser Cullen sees me leave. I'll just go home for now. When you are able to leave, let me know and I'll come get you."

"If you are going out that way let me go out ahead of you and distract Meredith. I don't want you two meeting if it can be avoided."

Hawke rolled her eyes, but nodded in assent. Even she knew that it was probably best if she avoided the Knight-Commander for as long as possible.

* * *

><p>"Orsino," Leandra inquired as she entered the dining room. "I didn't hear you come in. It's lovely to see you."<p>

Orsino extended his hand and bowed respectively over hers when she took it. "And you as well, Madame. My apologies for intruding without more advanced notice."

"Nonsense." Leandra shook her head and smiled. "You are welcome here at any time. Besides, when you are here I am not worrying about Zalandra getting caught sneaking through the Gallows to see you."

"There is not much need to worry about such things, Mama. I have gotten quite good at getting in and out without being seen," Hawke commented with a small smile as she entered the hall. "Although I will admit that I much prefer us being here."

"As do I," Orsino agreed.

Dinner was quieter than Orsino had come to expect when visiting the estate, but he knew that his lover was distracted. Her father being brought up after all this time was troubling her much more than she was willing to show, and not being able to talk with her mother about it made it even more difficult. After finishing her food, Hawke excused herself from the table and wandered through the kitchen and out the back door. Orsino excused himself as well and made to follow.

"Orsino?" He paused in the doorway and looked back over his shoulder. "Is something wrong? She's been acting strangely since she returned home this afternoon."

"I'm sure everything is fine," he assured Leandra with a smile. "She had a burdensome morning. I'm sure she just needs some rest." He wasn't sure if she believed him or not, but Leandra smiled kindly and nodded in response to his answer. "At least it was not a complete lie," he thought to himself – not that that thought made him feel any less guilty for being less than honest with her.

When Orsino finally found her, Hawke was sitting on the bench in her garden staring at the reflection of stars in the small pond. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped lightly around them.

"You're mother was asking about you," he said quietly as he sat down and turned her so that her back leaned against his side.

Hawke grabbed his arm as he wrapped it around her and leaned her head back against his shoulder. "What did you tell her?"

"That you had a burdensome morning and just need some rest."

Sighing softly, Hawke nodded. "Thank you."

Orsino's free hand stroked idly up and down her neck while they sat in comfortable silence together. It was a nice evening to be outdoors. The sky was clear, and the unforgiving heat of the day had faded with the setting of the sun. He enjoyed the brief moments – limited as they were – that he could hold her close and just be thankful of her presence. He was well aware of how lucky he was. It was an honor just to know her, to be able to call her a friend. But to have earned her trust, and her heart... he was not so sure he deserved such a precious gift.

A near inaudible sniffle drew him out of his thoughts and his lips formed into a frown. Wrapping his arms firmly around her, Orsino tugged Hawke into his lap and tucked her head under his chin. Her fingers latched on to the front of his robe and she shook with near silent sobs. One of his hand stroked through her hair while his other arm held her tightly against his chest. In all the years he had known her, he had only seen Hawke cry a few times, and each time it had pained him to see it. She was such a strong woman. Iron willed and defiant. Taking on the most daunting tasks with a smile and a jest to lighten the mood. Ready and willing to help anyone in need no matter the strain it put on herself, and never asking for more than the distressed citizen could afford in return. She did not frighten easily, and she would risk her life for another without so much as a second thought, but in moments like this... Just letting go and allowing him to be there for her – to be her strength for just a little while – seemed to be the thing she found the most difficulty with.

"I'm sorry," Hawke rasped after awhile, one hand wiping at her cheeks. "I didn't come out here for this. I just... started thinking about my father and..."

"Shh. It's alright, my dear," Orsino told her as he pushed her hand out of the way and used his thumb to brush away the remaining tears. "It's good for you to let go sometimes."

Sniffling, Hawke laughed weakly and rubbed her hand over his collar. "But I got your robes all wet."

Orsino chuckled and kissed her forehead. "I am quite sure it will dry." His expression turned more serious as he caressed her cheek. "I am here, my love. I may not know what it is that you are going through, but whatever you need from me; you need only ask."

Hawke grabbed his chin and pressed her lips to his. When she pulled back she stared into his eyes and traced his bottom lip with her thumb. "Thank you. It's still difficult for me to allow someone to see me in such a state... even you. But it is nice to know that I can, that I don't have to carry it all on my own anymore."

A few moments passed before she spoke again, shifting slightly so that she could see him better. "I... want to ask you something."

Orsino raised a brow at her hesitant, yet determined tone.

"Why didn't you tell me that you met Mercy in the Fade?"

Orsino's jaw clenched in response to the question, and he turned his eyes away from her. "I had planned to ask you about it, but... I don't know. It just never seemed the right time for such a discussion." Looking back down at her, he pushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Why did you not tell me about the spirit yourself?"

Hawke's eyebrows drew together and she frowned slightly. "I... you never asked. And it's not something I've ever talked about with anyone. I thought about telling you once... the night we were trapped in the Fade together... but I was too afraid that you wouldn't understand."

Orsino nodded and grasped her hand in his. "Why don't you tell me about it now. I did meet it, but it told me very little. I was told if I wanted to know more that I would have to ask you."

"I'm assuming you know the 'why' of it's presence?"

At Orsino's nod she continued. "Then next would be the 'when' and 'how', I suppose. Mercy first appeared to me when I was 14. A demon in the Fade had caught me off-guard and though I probably could have defeated it on my own, this spirit appeared and helped me. Once I was safe it disappeared without so much as a word and several months passed before I saw it again. Again I was fighting a demon, this time I spoke to it, asking it what it was, and why it came to my aid. It told me that it was a spirit of compassion, and that it was only looking out for me."

Orsino, who was listening intently to her tale, frowned as Hawke climbed out of his lap and began to pace slowly in front of him. "Over the next several years the spirit and I formed a friendship of sorts. We would hunt demons together, compare the differences between the Fade and the mortal realm, or carry on mundane discussions. I had thought it strange at first, that this spirit had chosen to interact with me as it had." Hawke shrugged, "After awhile I just stopped questioning it's motives."

Hawke grew silent and Orsino found himself wishing that he could make out her expression in the shadows. When she finally spoke again, he could hear the pain and anger in her words.

"When my father grew ill I tried everything in my power to heal him. When it proved to be hopeless, I forced myself to sleep and I sought out the spirit. I begged and pleaded with it to show mercy; to grant me the power to save him... but it refused," she said coldly. "I am sorry, Little Hawke, but I can not. I show more mercy by denying your request than I would by acceding to it. It may be many more years before you see the truth in my words, but I have no doubt that one day you will understand," it said. My father died two days later, and any fondness I had harbored for the spirit up to that point had turned into bitterness."

Hawke sighed and sat back down on the bench. "The spirit still visited me each time I entered the Fade, and each time I cursed and banished it. Those first few days was when I began calling it Mercy – in a purely sarcastic manner, mind you. Weeks turned into months, and the months eventually turned into a year. Mercy came to me on the anniversary of my father's death as it had done every other night, but I did not send it away. I was sad and lonely, and for the first time in a year I had welcomed it's company. "You are not angry this night," the spirit had said as it looked down at me. "I can not remain angry at you forever, Mercy. My father died a year ago today. It is time I stopped grieving over his loss, and continuing to blame you for his death will not bring him back," I told it.

The spirit had given me a strange look, before extending it's arm and placing it's hand on my shoulder. "You have faced a tremendous hardship and in that time you have proven to me that you are worthy of the power you once requested of me. It is my hope that someday you will find it in you to forgive me for not providing it when you wanted it most," it said. Then a bright light exploded from it's hand and I felt a new surge of power build inside of me. That was the day I became a spirit healer."

Orsino reached for her hand and squeezed it lightly. "Most spirit healers are not aware of the spirit that provided their gift. I believe that you are lucky to know yours, and to have it as a protector of sorts... Did you ever discover why it had refused to help you when you had asked for it?"

"No," Hawke answered with a shake of her head. "But I know it had something to do with my father. I asked Mercy about it once. "I knew Malcolm Hawke for many years, even before you were born. There are things about him that you have yet to learn. I made a promise to your father, Little Hawke. I will always watch over you in the Fade and help as I am able, but until such a time you discover the knowledge on your own, I am afraid that I can speak no more of it," it had said. I had wanted to question the spirit further, but it would have been unfair of me to push it to tell me whatever it was that my father had made it promise not to tell."

Orsino dropped his head and looked down at his lap. He was reminded of Mercy's words to him, "There are still things she has yet to learn that will undoubtedly cause her pain in the future... A promise made prevents me from telling her. If she gains the knowledge by another means, I will answer her questions as the promise entailed, but I can not discuss it otherwise."

So she was aware that the spirit knew something that she did not. But was she aware of the effect it would have on her when she discovered the truth? Should he warn her? Then something occurred to him... what if this fiasco with the Carta had something to do with that secret... Orsino swallowed thickly and squeezed her hand again.

"Maker... do you think those dwarves after Carver and I are somehow related to whatever it is that Mercy knows," Hawke asked quietly.

"I was just considering the same thing," Orsino admitted with a humorless chuckle. "But there is no way of knowing for sure without more information. The only thing you know for sure is that they are working from outside the city, and for some reason they are looking for your father's children. That is not really much to go on."

Hawke nodded. "You're right. I almost feel foolish now; being upset all day as I have been. I've already encountered one person in this city that knew my father from before. It really shouldn't come as a shock to me that others do as well."

Orsino raised a brow. "Who else have you met that knew your father?"

"A mage in the circle named Tobrius."

"Tobrius," Orsino said with a sigh. "I take it you met him before you and I met?"

"Yes, a few months previous. Why?"

"He was made tranquil a few months after you and I began seeing each other," he told her regretfully. "If I had known that you knew him I would have told you when it happened."

"Tranquil?" Hawke gasped. "But why? Doesn't Chantry law say that mages that pass their Harrowing can't be made tranquil?"

"It does. But that hasn't stopped Meredith in the past," he said bitterly.

"Maker..." Hawke whispered with a shudder. "No wonder you worry so much about her finding out about me. I assumed at worst she'd force me to take my Harrowing and lock me in the Gallows... I truly never thought..."

"I won't let that happen," Orsino told her firmly. "You need not worry about that of all things."

Hawke nodded mutely and laid her head against his shoulder. Orsino wrapped his arm around her and kissed her forehead. He would sacrifice himself without a second thought if it meant her escape from such an ill fate. Though she would never willingly allow him to do so, he would not be able to stand aside while her essence – the very thing that made her uniquely her – was taken away; leaving nothing but a husk of her former self.

Orsino nudged her gently and pulled them both to their feet. "Come on. Let's retire for the evening. We both have to rise early in the morning."

Hawke smiled up at him and snuggled into his side. Orsino smiled in return. He might not be able to eradicate all of her burdens, but at the end of the day he was still able to bring a smile to her face. It may have only been a small victory, but it was a victory none the less.


	17. No Excuses

**Disclaimer**: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belong to Bioware.

* * *

><p><em>It's alright, there comes a time.<br>Got no patience to search for peace of mind._

_It's okay, had a bad day.  
>Hands are bruised from breaking rocks all day.<em>

_Yeah it's fine, walk down the line.  
>Leave our rain, a cold trade for warm sunshine.<em>

_Every day it's something new.  
>Hits me all so cold.<br>Find me sittin' by myself.  
>No excuses, then I know.<em>

_~*~ No Excuses – Alice In Chains ~*~_

Meredith leaned on the edge of the desk and stared menacingly at the piece of parchment being held between her and the target of her ire. Orsino sighed and dropped the document he had been reading to glare up at the templar.

"What exactly is it that you are implying, Knight-Commander?" The words were strained as Orsino struggled to maintain his air of civility. She'd burst through his door accusing him of disregarding his duty, demanding he tell her everything he knew about some unnamed apostate living free in the city. He was angered by the disruption, annoyed by her accusation, and suddenly worried that his lover had been – or was very near to being – captured by the harpy's claws.

Meredith's eyes narrowed and she leaned closer, her hands wrinkling the papers on his desk. "I've been hearing rumors about an apostate running a clinic in Darktown. Supposedly, he's been there for several years now, but my templars have yet to locate him or his clinic. Those disgusting refugees are protecting him."

She pushed off his desk with a huff, sending several of the previously disturbed documents scattering to the floor. "You are acquainted with the Hawke girl. I have heard rumors that she is friends with this mage and it occurred to me that you may have known this and failed to mention it."

Picking up the last piece of the rudely dispersed parchment, Orsino righted himself in his chair and fixed Meredith with a nettled stare. "I have spoken to the Lady Hawke a number of times, but I have not met many of her companions. None of which were mages."

"You are certain?"

"Quite."

Meredith crossed her arms in front of her chest and tapped a finger against her bottom lip in thought. "Very well... You will invite her here to join you for dinner and you will find out what she knows about the apostate." Happy with her decision, she nodded to herself and turned to leave.

"And what makes you think that she will tell me what you want to know. I am the First Enchanter, after all. She will most certainly be suspicious if I begin inquiring for details about her friends."

Meredith paused and bracing a hand on the door frame, she looked back at him over her shoulder. "You've always had a silver tongue, Orsino. Use it to for something more than infuriating me for a change. I want that information," she said pointedly. "No matter how many times you have to entertain her to get it."

Orsino grimaced at Meredith's retreating back, a quick gesture of his left hand slamming the door behind her. Closing his eyes, Orsino dropped his head into his hands with a groan. There was no way he could deny the harpy's demand - loath as he was to used as a lure to bring Hawke into her nest. Ensuring her safety while here would now have to be his first priority for the day. Rubbing a hand down his face, he pushed back his chair and climbed to his feet. There were many arrangements to be made.

* * *

><p>Hawke was curled up in her favorite chair in front of the hearth, a warm blanket wrapped loosely around her, and a book in her hands.<p>

"What are you reading, beautiful?"

Hawke smiled at the sound of Varric's voice and showed him the front of the book. "Hard in Hightown: Siege Harder," she recited the title with a chuckle. "I hear there have been fistfights in the barracks over who was the inspiration for this tale."

Varric smirked. "So I've heard."

"Come in, Varric. Have a seat."

Varric padded into the room and settled into the chair next to her. He was silent for several minutes before loosing a loud sigh. "Why are you still looking at that book when you obviously aren't reading it?"

Hawke raised up her head and arched an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

Varric chuckled and shook his head. "You haven't turned a single page since I arrived and I know you aren't that slow of a reader."

Hawke closed the book and set it beside her, a light blush spreading on her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Varric. I just didn't want to urge you to talk before you were ready. I find in situations like this, sometimes it's just nice to have the silent company of a friend."

"Times like this, huh," he said with a snort. "You mean having to kill your crazed brother who not only tortured and killed most of his household, but also stranded you and your business partner underground to die to darkspawn and rockwraiths?"

"That's not exactly what I meant," she said as an apology. "I just..."

"It's alright, Hawke," Varric interrupted with a wave of his hand. "I know what you meant and I appreciate it. I just came to apologize for not going with you to the alienage this afternoon. I thought I wanted some time alone, but I found myself wishing I had gone with you once I reached my room. Were you able to help the mage boy? Fayniel, Fayrial... something like that."

"Feynriel," Hawke chuckled. "And yes. We had to enter the Fade and break the illusion the demons had trapped him in. It did not go quite as planned, however."

"Oh? Do tell." Varric had a grin that said he was more than ready for a new tale to exaggerate.

Hawke rolled her eyes and shook her head, but a small twitch of her lips belied her false irritation. "Four of us entered the Fade. Fenris, Anders, Isabela, and myself."

"I'm sure the elf was thrilled to have Blondie tagging along."

"Oh yes. Just ecstatic," she replied sarcastically. "And worse, when we entered the Fade, Anders was not quite himself..."

"Justice?"

"Yes. I actually spoke to the spirit for the first time. It was... strange seeing him like that, but at least Justice didn't betray me." A hint of sorrow laced her words.

Varric raised a questioning brow. "Rivaini and the Elf?"

"The demons managed to persuade them into turning on me and I was forced to kill them. It was not... a pleasant experience, to say the least. They both awoke safe and sound in the mortal realm, but that did little to ease the emotional impact it had on me. I haven't spoken with either of them about it. Isabela was long gone by the time I awoke, and Fenris vacated as soon as he was sure that I was physically unharmed."

"Maker's breath. I'm not too surprised about Rivaini, but the Elf... if a demon was able to sway him from your side..." Varric sighed. "I'm really glad I didn't go now. I certainly wouldn't want to be on your bad side, it tends to be... unhealthy."

Hawke chuckled weakly and shook her head. "I'm not angry, Varric. Demons are very persuasive. They know your deepest and darkest desires and they use them to get to you. They offer the things that you crave the most and draw you in. It takes great strength of will to resist. That's why so many mages fall to corruption."

Varric huffed. "Well there certainly isn't a shortage of corruption in this city. But that does seem to justify the Chantry's stance on mages somewhat. I'm glad that you are stronger willed that most, Hawke."

"Thank you, Varric. I will take that compliment and eagerly change the subject. I know you don't really want to get into a deep conversation about mages and the Chantry."

"Quite right. I hear enough of that from Blondie and the Elf," Varric grumbled.

"Pardon me, Messere," Hawke looked to the door at the sound of Bodahn's voice, "but this letter just arrived for you. The fellow that delivered it said that it was imperative you read it at your earliest opportunity."

She recognized the seal immediately and quickly peeled it open.

_Lady Hawke,_

_I would like to extend an invitation for you to join me for dinner this evening in my study. It has been some time since we last spoke and I would greatly enjoy your company if you are available. I look forward to seeing you again.  
><em>

_Your friend,  
>First Enchanter Orsino<em>

_P.S. The courier I sent was informed to wait for your reply._

Hawke narrowed her eyes at the letter before refolding it and moving over to her desk to pen a quick reply.

_First Enchanter Orsino,_

_This is shorter notice than I would generally accept an invitation for something of this nature, but I find myself willing to make an exception for you. It would be my pleasure to join you. I will arrive within the hour._

_-Hawke_

After sealing the return letter she handed it to Bodahn. "The messenger that delivered this should still be outside. Would you give this to him, please?"

"Of course," he replied with a nod. "Is everything alright, Messere?"

Hawke nodded her head. "I'm a little confused, but I'm sure everything is just fine," she gave him a reassuring smile. "Oh, can you also tell Mama that I will not be joining her for dinner this evening?"

"As you wish. Be careful out there, Messere."

Once Bodahn was gone Hawke closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"_Orsino, is there a reason you sent this letter without informing me that it was coming or the reason behind it?"_

"_I am sorry. Meredith has been shadowing me all afternoon. I have not had a moments peace since after lunch."_

"_What's going on? Did Meredith put you up to this?"_

"_Yes, but it's not what you think. Your brother is on guard at the Gallows dock. Speak with him before you come to my office... and I apologize ahead of time."_

"_For?"_

"_For the measures I have taken to ensure your safety."_

Hawke grumbled to herself as she began digging through her wardrobe. "Varric, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I have less than an hour to get presentable and reach the docks."

"The docks?" Varric slid out of his chair and headed for the door. "Is something up?"

"I'm not really sure. The letter was from Orsino – though as the First Enchanter, not my lover – and he invited me to join him for dinner in his study. By Meredith's request, no doubt."

"Are you sure that's wise? Willingly walking into the Gallows knowing that it might be a trap?" Varric held up his hands in defense of the glare he received from the woman across the room. "Whoa there, beautiful, I wasn't insinuating that Orsino would knowingly let you walk into a trap, but what if Meredith is using him as bait?"

"Even if..." Hawke shook her head. "No, it doesn't matter. Whatever her reasoning, if I avoid or decline his invitation it is very likely that she will take it out on him. I won't put him in that situation. He puts himself at enough risk for me as it is"

"If you're sure, Hawke. But be careful, and swing by the Hanged Man on your way back home so I know you're alright."

"I can do that." Hawke gave Varric a cheeky smile. "Now shoo."

* * *

><p>"You want to do what," Hawke flared indignantly.<p>

"Keep your voice down," Carver hissed under his breath. "Orsino asked me to so that if you met the Knight-Commander you wouldn't have to worry about her sensing your magic."

"So instead, you would leave me defenseless in a fortress full of templars," she hissed in return. "Absolutely not!"

"Maker's breath... I knew you weren't going to go along with this willingly."

"What do you..." Hawke gasped and gripped Carver's arm, her eyes growing wide as her connection to the Fade was suddenly and painfully severed. Carver held her in his arms while her body adjusted to the initial shock and weakness brought on by the smite. She would be angry, he knew. But if it meant keeping her out of Meredith's hands he would happily suffer his sister's wrath.

"I can't believe you did that," Hawke grumbled into his chest. "That was very... unpleasant," she continued as she pulled away and frowned up at him.

"I'm sorry."

Hawke's anger lessened at the sound of sincerity in his voice. If it had been anyone else she would have been furious, but as it was, she could not fault her little brother for wanting to protect her. Their relationship had been strained when they were children. Their father's death had brought them a little closer, but it was Bethany's death that had completely changed the way they viewed each other. They both knew the pain of losing a sibling, and neither was ready to lose another.

Hawke adjusted her shawl and pressed the wrinkles out of her dress. When she touched her hands to her hair to make sure it was still in place, she noticed Carver was laughing and shaking his head. "What?"

"You look magnificent this evening, my lady," he said playfully.

Hawke's eyes glittered with amusement and she dipped into a formal curtsey. "Thank you, Ser Carver. I'm happy you approve."

"Lady Hawke." Orsino's voice caressed her ears, raising chill bumps along her arms and the back of her neck.

"First Enchanter," she replied with a nod in his direction.

Orsino extended a hand to her and she happily placed her hand in his. When he bent forward to press a kiss to her knuckles Hawke bristled, having noticed the fully armored templar standing a few feet behind him.

_"Relax, my dear." _Orsino smiled and gave her hand a quick squeeze to help ease her distress. "It is lovely to see you again, my friend. I am delighted that you agreed to join me."

"You always make for pleasant company and conversation, First Enchanter. I will happily accept any invitation to speak with you as long as I am not otherwise engaged."

"Come," Orsino tucked her arm under his and turned back towards the courtyard. "Allow me to show you to my study."

"As you wish. It was nice to see you again, Ser Carver." Hawke smiled at her brother and he tilted his head forward. "You as well, Lady Hawke."

Orsino led Hawke through the Gallows courtyard and into the keep, the silent templar following close behind. His presence was discomfiting, perhaps more so because she couldn't see his face. Was it someone she knew? Was he there at Meredith's command or Orsino's request? Was he one of Meredith's loyal zealot's or was he one of the few that still understood the true purpose of their order? There were too many unknowns about the situation she found herself in and she didn't like it a single bit.

Inside his office Orsino pulled back a large tapestry covering the wall and pushed open a door that had been hidden behind it. At his gesture, Hawke squeezed through the partially open doorway. Her eyes grew wide as she took in all the sight of his personal study. Grand bookshelves lined the walls of the moderate sized room and she saw not a single empty shelf. She ran a finger along the leather bindings of the books on the nearest shelf, reading the titles aloud. There were magical tomes – some more ancient than others. Books on herbalism, alchemy, even smithing. But what really caught her interest was the lore and history. He had books spanning every explored area of Thedas. From the northern reaches of Par Vollen to the Kocari Wilds in the south, from the east coast of Rivain to the Tirashan Forest in the west. Hawke was so enraptured, making a mental list of the books she would have to ask to borrow, that she completely missed the muffled words traded between Orsino and the templar outside the door.

"From the look in your eyes one would think you had just found a vault full of diamonds," Orsino murmured next to her ear. Hawke jumped at his sudden appearance behind her.

"It's a beautiful collection, First Enchanter. Many rare volumes decorate these walls... But that is not why you invited me here," she said pointedly. She wasn't sure if anyone would be listening to their conversation, but if there was she intended to make it known that she didn't appreciate being toyed with. "I can not claim to know you all that well, but you don't strike me as the type to invite a Lady to dinner with only an hours notice without having a specific reason for it. I like you, First Enchanter, but I do not like be played with, nor do I like having my time wasted."

Orsino groaned inwardly at her response and barely contained the urge to roll his eyes. He knew what she was doing. She was putting on a show in case of an unwanted audience and she expected him to play along.

"Lady Hawke, please accept my apologies. Had I known that you would have taken such offense, I would have made the invitation for a later date. As it happens, I did not wish to spend the evening alone and I could think of no one else I'd rather spend it with than you."

Orsino's lips twitched at the sight of the color that spread on her cheeks. It still amazed him how she could face down dragons, demons, and more, but still had enough innocence to blush at the slightest compliment... or lewd suggestion.

"I... Thank you, First Enchanter. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions... It's not often I am invited somewhere purely for my company. It seems I've come to expect everyone wants something."

"You have no reason to apologize, my dear. I am just grateful that you chose to join me. And please, you do not reside in the Circle, Orsino is fine."

Orsino gestured toward the table and pulled out a chair for her to settle into. "Our dinner should arrive soon."

Hawke nodded, and her hands fidgeted in her lap. "How have things been in the Circle since we last spoke?"

Orsino sighed quietly. "About the same as before. Although... something happened this afternoon that might be of interest to you." Hawke raised a question brow, encouraging Orsino to continue. "Do you recall the mage Feynriel? You brought here... I guess it was close to four years ago?"

"I do. I still speak to his mother on occasion."

"A couple of days ago he fell into a coma of sorts. I was unsure what had caused it, so I restricted access to his room while I tried to figure it out. I'm still not sure what happened exactly, but he awoke on his own this afternoon and fled from the Gallows. The templars have been searching all over the city for him with no luck. And after he had left, his mother came by to see him. She was very unhappy to find that he was missing."

"Maker's breath!" Hawke feigned surprise. "Arianni must be distraught with worry. I'll go by her house and check on her first thing tomorrow. Perhaps I can help locate him."

"I'm sure she would appreciate seeing you," Orsino replied with a nod. He had not yet had a chance to speak with her about her day, but he suspected she already knew of the boy's escape, as well as his destination.

A knock came at the door and Hawke glared uneasily at the young mage that entered without waiting for Orsino's acknowledgement. "Good evening," he said quietly with a nod in her direction.

"Lady Hawke," Orsino spoke as the man set their dinner on the table. "This is Zak. I believe I have mentioned him a time or two."

Hawke smiled as recognition sparked at the mention of the mage's name. "You have. It's nice to meet you, Zak. The First Enchanter speaks very highly of you."

Zak gave her a shy smile in return. "It's nice to meet you as well, Lady Hawke. The First Enchanter is very talented man, as well as patient. I would not have passed my Harrowing without his training and guidance." When Zak finished his task he asked if they needed anything more before excusing himself and quickly fleeing the room.

"He is very fond of you," Hawke observed after the door closed.

Orsino shrugged and waved a hand dismissively. "My title tends to earn unwarranted respect from some. Unfortunately, it earns me even more unwarranted discontent."

"What do you mean?"

Orsino poured them both a glass of wine and set the bottle out of the way. Hawke reached for her glass and tilted it towards him in a silent toast of thanks.

"Many of the mages feel that I am too..." Orsino took a sip of his wine. "soft, for the lack of a better word. They believe that I lack the nerve to stand up to the Knight-Commander."

"I admit I have not yet had the opportunity to meet the Knight-Commander, but from the rumors I hear she seems to be rather... exuberant," Hawke said carefully before taking a bite of her dinner.

"Perhaps," Orsino said slowly, "but there is only so much that I can do without putting every mage within the Circle at risk."

Hawke nodded and chewed her food in silence.

"How have you been since we last saw each other? Have you been up to anything interesting?"

Hawke smiled and sipped her wine, welcoming the change of topic. "I've been well. I've mainly stuck to handling small jobs around the city as of late, but I will be making another trip up to Sundermount soon." Orsino stared at her in response. He didn't much care for that idea. Not at all, actually.

"Do you remember my friend Varric?" Orsino nodded. "I once told you about our expedition into the Deep Roads and how his brother had stranded us down there. Yesterday Varric told me that Bartrand was back in Kirkwall, so we paid him a visit this morning."

"Oh?"

"It turns out that the idol we had found – the one Bartrand stole before locking us in that primeval thaig – had driven him insane. He had killed most of his servants. His guards attacked us on site, as did Bartrand. Varric tried talking some sense into him, but nothing he said seemed to get through. I ended with Varric lodging a crossbow bolt in Bartrand's chest."

"Maker's breath... was there no other way?"

"No. I..." Hawke bit her tongue. "I don't think so. He was beyond any healer's skill. The only thing we could do was put him out of his misery."

"I'm sorry, Hawke. I know that must have been difficult. How is Varric handling it?"

"He seemed alright when he stopped by my estate earlier. I plan to check in on him on my way home this evening."

Orsino nodded and they both continued to eat in silence. When Hawke had nearly finished her food she cast a glance at Orsino and noticed he was staring at her.

"_Are you going to tell me why Meredith had you invite me here?"_

"_The templars have caught wind of an apostate running a clinic in Darktown and he's rumored to be a __friend of yours. They have not been unable to locate him."_

"_And she wanted you to be friendly in hopes that I would confide in you."_ Hawke rolled her eyes and cursed the rumor mill that encompassed Kirkwall._ "Why can't people just keep their mouths shut."  
><em>

Orsino cleared his throat and held up the wine bottle. Hawke smiled and shook her head. "No thank you, Orsino. I shouldn't drink more than one. It wouldn't be wise for me to walk through Lowtown intoxicated."

"Maker..." Orsino grumbled. "I had not even considered you having to walk home alone. You must allow me to arrange a templar to escort you when you are ready to leave."

"That's kind of you, but unnecessary. I am more than capable of taking care of myself."

"I have seen you fight and have little doubt that you are right, but I insist. I may be old and forgetful, but I still remember my manners. Had I the permission to do so, I would escort you myself, alas I am not allowed leave after nightfall, so a templar will have to do."

"If you insist," Hawke conceded. "But I only need an escort to the Hanged Man. I can get a friend to walk me from there."

They spent the next hour talking about recent jobs she had done around the city. Orsino asked questions about her friends and family, and she answered them with ease. They avoided mentioning Merrill or Anders at all, opting instead to speak mostly of Varric, Fenris, and Aveline. When the time came for her to leave Orsino asked the templar that had been guarding the door – unbeknownst to Hawke – to escort her to the Hanged Man and the templar silently agreed.

It wasn't until they were safely in front of the tavern that Ser Cullen removed his helmet, finally revealing his identity. "Are you sure you want me to leave you here? I don't mind waiting if you'd like me to walk you back to your estate."

Hawke smiled and tilted her head to the side. "Were you the templar that followed Orsino to the docks to get me earlier?"

"I am. Orsino came to me this morning and told me of your impending visit. He was worried about your safety and I offered to act as your guard to ensure you entered and exited without incident."

"I don't suppose you would tell me your reason for helping me?"

Cullen shook his head.

"Very well. Whatever your reasons, I am grateful for your help. As for walking me home, it won't be necessary. Thank you for seeing me here safely."

Cullen gave her a curt nod in response and hesitated only briefly before turning away and heading back to the docks.

* * *

><p>"Maker, it's been a long day." Hawke sank down on her bed with a sigh. She was exhausted, both mentally and physically. The mattress dipped behind her and she found herself being lifted into a sitting position before two steady hands set to work on the laces of her corset. She took in a deep relieved breath as the restricting garment loosened and relaxed into the warm body pressing against her back.<p>

"Do you feel like talking about your day?" Orsino's voice was soft in her ear as he continued to slowly undress her.

Hawke hummed quietly and nuzzled the side of his neck. "Well I told you what happened with Bartrand. Afterward, Varric had needed some time alone, so I sent Fenris to the Hanged Man to get Isabela while I went and got Anders. The four of us met up about an hour later in the alienage. It was near perfect timing. Arianni was already standing outside and she informed us that Marethari was on her way and should arrive at any moment."

"The Keeper came to Kirkwall?"

Hawke nodded and wrapped an arm around his neck for leverage and lifted herself off the bed so Orsino could push her dress down over her hips. "She used an old Dalish ritual to send the four of us into the Fade – or the Beyond as the elves call it. She pulled me aside to speak in private before starting the ritual. She confirmed your suspicions, Feynriel is a somniari. She explained to me the extent of danger he posed and told me that if I could not prevent him from being possessed, that I would have to kill him in the Fade, which would have made him tranquil."

Orsino wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "I'm guessing you were able to save him then? I know that you would not have allowed him to leave possessed and if he were tranquil he would not have run."

"It was a very... emotionally taxing experience," she said sadly. "But in the end I was able to save him. He is on his way to Tevinter in search of training to control his abilities. I just hope that he remains true to himself and doesn't fall to the depravity of the magisters."

"Arianni raised him well. I am sure he will be fine."

"She was quite upset after I told her he was leaving, but she did thank me for saving him."

"Will you tell me what happened in the Fade?"

Hawke closed her eyes and traced her fingers down Orsino's arm before intertwining her fingers with his. "The first demon we encountered was a sloth demon named Torpor. It told me of two other demons that were struggling for dominion over Feynriel. One of desire and one of pride. Torpor said that each demon had Feynriel trapped in an illusion and that each time they strained his connection to the mortal world his mind broke a little further. I played along with the demon long enough to get the information I needed. I wanted to know what condition Feynriel was in, whether there was still time to save him, and what I needed to do in order to best help him. Just... Anders," she corrected quickly. "threatened to attack me because he thought I was considering the demons offer, but I managed to calm him down. After asking a few more questions I discovered that I would have to help Feynriel reject the illusions the demons were weaving by talking with him until he realized the deception on his own. Having the information I needed, I refused Torpor's offer and killed it.

"When entering the first illusion I was transformed to look like Arianni. Feynriel was younger in that illusion. He was talking to his father who was offering him praise and promising him a new and happy life in Antiva. I played along, telling him that he should do whatever would make him happy. It didn't take long for Feynriel to realize that something was amiss. He realized that he was feeling love for his father, but that he had no memories of him being a part of his life. That broke the illusion and the father transformed into a desire demon named Caress."

Feeling a chill in her state of undress, Hawke pulled herself out of Orsino's embrace and climbed off the bed. "That was when the real struggle began. Caress showed us things, offering us things we desired..." A small flame flickered to life in her palm and she stared at it briefly. "Isabela was unable to resist the demon's offer and she turned on me. I was forced to kill and expel her from the Fade." Hawke sent the flame into the hearth and coaxed it into comfortable blaze.

"Entering the second illusion I was transformed to look like you – which was rather strange, I must say," she admitted with a quiet chuckle. "There, I found Marethari introducing Feynriel as a new hope for the Dalish people. Saying that he was a prisoner of the Circle, but through them he would find freedom. I told him that she wasn't the Keeper, that demons could take on other forms. The demon said I was lying, saying that "The first enchanter is a pawn of the templars." Feynriel wasn't fooled. He shouted and told the demon to be silent. He said that temptation was what the Circle warned about and that the Dalish didn't have a Circle, but they didn't consort with demons. Then he ran off."

Hawke grabbed her robe off the back of her chair and slipped it on, wrapping it tightly around her with a pained sigh. "Again we were tempted and again I was betrayed." Hawke walked back to the bed and crawled back into Orsino's waiting arms. She curled up against his chest, resting her head against his shoulder. "Striking Fenris down was the hardest thing I have ever done. I knew that it wasn't real, but when the blade of my staff entered his chest, the sadness in his eyes... it took all I had to keep going. If Justice had not been there..." Hawke snapped her mouth shut realizing that she had slipped again, this time too far to backtrack.

"Justice," Orsino repeated the name slowly. "You began to say that earlier."

Hawke squeezed her eyes shut and her fingers clenched in the material of her robe. "Do you remember the first time you felt my emotions? I was upset and you wanted to know what was wrong, but I told you I couldn't tell you?"

"I do," Orsino answered with a sigh, assuming that she meant to avoid telling him again. Another memory struck him then – the afternoon he first met Anders, the strange blue glow... "Maker..." he groaned as the pieces began to come together. Gripping Hawke by the shoulders he pushed her away from his chest and turned her to face him. "He's possessed." Hawke flinched at the statement, but did not deny it. "Please explain, because my current thoughts on the matter do not bode well for his future well-being."

Hawke's eyes flew open. "That better not have been what it sounded like, Orsino."

It was Orsino's turn to flinch. There was only one thing he knew of that could invoke his lover's fury – threatening someone she cared about – and he had just inadvertently done so. "I'm sorry..." He tried to touch her cheek, but she knocked his hand away.

"Don't. It's not what you think. Not exactly. When he was serving as a Warden he met a spirit of justice in the Fade and due to unforeseen circumstances the spirit was forced unwillingly into the mortal realm. Long story short, the body in which the spirit was occupying was decomposing. Justice being appalled by the injustice mages faced, wanted to help Anders change their lot in life. Anders, afraid that his friend would die otherwise, willingly allowed himself to be used as a host for the spirit – essentially combining them as one being. The spirit no longer exists as a separate entity, they think and act as one being. So no, technically he is not possessed."

Hawke's tone had mellowed during her explanation Anders' condition, but Orsino could tell that she was still annoyed. He would have to tread carefully if he did not wish to further provoke her. "I can't say that I agree with his choice."

Hawke's shoulders slumped slightly and she shook her head. "Neither do I. The spirit... Anders' anger has changed it over the years, corrupted it into a being of vengeance. And Anders is loosing himself to it. Slowly but surely, I see his control and logical thinking slip further away. I did not know him before, but sometimes I think I see the way he used to be... those moments are coming fewer and farther between."

Hawke's eyes found Orsino's again and she reached for his hand. "Now do you understand? The reason I didn't want to tell you? The reason I was so upset that night? I am watching my friend slowly disappear and I fear that eventually there will be nothing but anger and vengeance left. I've done tons of research, searching for a way to help him. For a way to reverse the effects or to separate them, but the only way I know of to kill a spirit inside a living host... is to kill the host."

Orsino stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "You say he is losing control. Is he stable? Is he a danger to those around him?"

Hawke's eyes drifted down to their joined hands. "He is still in control for now. How long that will last, I can't be sure. I'm afraid, Orsino. Afraid that one day he will be lost and I will have no choice but to..."

Orsino shushed her and pulled her back against his chest. It seemed that every passing day added another burden onto his lover's shoulders. How long would she be able to balance them all before she was crushed beneath their weight? There was only so much one person could take... A flare of his magic drew him out of his thoughts.

Hawke jerked back and looked up at him. "What was that?"

"Someone is at my door." Climbing off the bed, Orsino quickly tossed his robe back on. Hawke jumped up as well and grabbed their staves. Then ran to Orsino and teleported them both to his chambers. Her heart clenched tightly in her chest at the sound of heavy pounding on the door. "Go," she whispered to Orsino. Hawke scanned the room to make sure nothing of hers was out in the open. Dragging the nearby rug across the floor she covered the teleportation rune, then ducked into his bathing room, leaving the door open just enough to hear what was going.

"I'm coming," Orsino growled as he crossed the room. Once Hawke was safely out of sight he approached the door and pulled it open. His frustration lessened a bit when he saw who was standing on the other side of the door. "Knight-Captain?"

Cullen reached for Orsino's arm and pulled him out into the hall, closing the door behind him. Orsino snatched his arm away. "Unhand me. What the hell is going on?"

"Lower your voice," Cullen said in a near whisper. "Do you know of any magic that would allow a mage to project sound from one place to another?"

Orsino narrowed his eyes in thought. "I know of a spell that sounds like what you are describing. I could cast said spell in my office and then cast it again here and for a time I would be able to hear any sound in my office as if it were happening right in from of me. Why do you ask?"

"Who in the Circle would know this spell other than you?"

"Most of the senior enchanters. It's often used by the instructors when required to step out for more than a moment or two. It's a good way to be sure that apprentices aren't setting each other on fire when unattended."

Cullen frowned and shook his head. "That's going to make it much harder to narrow down... Have you noticed anything in your chambers that would indicate anyone intruding while you weren't here?"

"No." Orsino didn't like the direction of this line of questioning.

"_Go home until I contact you." _

"Is there a reason you think someone has?"

_"But..."_

_"Do as I say." _Did she really have to be so stubborn, he wondered distractedly.

"I know someone has," Cullen said frankly. "Meredith had someone spying on you. While you and Hawke were having dinner, Ser Carver went into Meredith's office for something and when he came back out he looked as if he were going to strangle someone. When I asked what was wrong he told me that Meredith was somehow listening to the two of you talk. Then, after I returned from escorting Hawke to the Hanged Man, I went to inform Meredith of my return. Fortunately for you, she was not in her office because I could hear you talking to someone, though they were too quiet for me to make out who they were."

Orsino was scowling by this point. Meredith had convinced one of his fellow mages to spy for her and that irked him more than the actual invasion of privacy. "I appreciate you telling me Knight-Captain. At least some of the templars in this despicable place are honorable." Cullen frowned at his comment, but didn't offer a response.

"Orsino, I am being honest with you because you have never given me a reason not to trust you. I do have a question for you though and I ask that you be honest."

Orsino crossed his arms in front of his chest. Ser Cullen had always seemed reasonable, but his honesty now would greatly depend on the templar's question. "Ask your question, Ser Cullen. I do not guarantee an answer, but I will not lie."

Cullen shifted from foot to foot, obviously uncomfortable, but Orsino gave him credit for never dropping his gaze. "I've had suspicions for awhile now that you were... seeing someone. A specific someone. The same someone that you were asking me to protect this morning... Am I wrong?"

Well that was certainly not what he had expected. Orsino tapped his fingers against his elbow in thought. How was he going to avoid answering such a question without practically giving the answer? "Just to be clear, I am not yet confirming or denying your question, but what exactly has made you suspect that... _she _and I have been seeing each other?"

"Call it a hunch," Cullen said simply. "Look, I am only asking because I want her to remain safe. It is not my business who she chooses to be with, but it's possible that knowing such information may help me protect her."

"And why is it that you care so much for her safety? If I understood your motives, perhaps I would be more willing to oblige you with the answers you seek."

Cullen sighed and shifted again. "There are two reasons. One, she is honorable. She goes out of her way to help the people of this city whether it be a mage, templar, noble, commoner, even the Qunari. She puts herself at risk constantly and she rarely asks for anything in return. The second reason is more... personal. Let's just say that someone very much like her – and very dear to me – would see her protected and out of harm's way."

Orsino quirked an eyebrow in curiosity, but decided not to push for clarification; at least not yet. "I am putting a huge amount of trust in you with this information, Knight-Captain... but yes, your suspicions are correct. You would also be correct if you suspected her of being the other person in my chambers earlier. And no I will not tell you how that is possible, so don't ask."

Cullen wiped a hand down his face. "Is Ser Carver aware?"

"He is. He was not particularly happy with it in the beginning, but he seems to have come to an acceptance over the years."

"Is there a way for you to dispell the spell you were talking about? If not, you will need to be much more careful until we can discover who is helping Meredith and why."

"That particular spell can only be dispelled by the mage that has cast it, but I have access to a spell that can counteract the effect. As for discovering the mage behind it, I will leave that to you. It is best that no one knows I am aware of this occurrence, at least for the time being."

Cullen nodded in agreement and glanced down the dim corridor. "I should go before someone sees us speaking. I assume your _guest_ has been coming and going for some time now? They aren't in any danger of being caught?"

Orsino smirked. "No need to worry on that front, I assure you."

"Good." Cullen turned to leave, but stopped short. "One more thing. When I knocked on your door, I sensed some sort of magic..."

"A barrier to prevent undesirables from bursting through the door without warning."

"That's all? Nothing else?"

"All you need to know," Orsino answered cryptically, his smirk still firmly in place.

"I... right. All I need to know. Good night, Orsino."

"Good night, Cullen. And thank you again."

Re-entering his room Orsino leaned heavily against the door with a sigh.

"_Zalandra?"_

"_Yes, love."_

He placed his hand on the door and recast the barrier, feeling the need for it now more than ever.

"_You have always spoken highly of Ser Cullen. Do you think he is trustworthy?"_

"_Yes, I believe so. Why?"_

Orsino moved the rug back to the center of the floor and leaned against his small table.

"_It seems that the Knight-Captain is much more observant than most people. If you have the energy to do so you can come back and get me, but do not speak aloud in my chambers."_

"_Don't be mad at me..."_

"_Why would I..."_

Orsino saw movement out of the corner of his eye and looked up to see her exiting his washroom.

"_I didn't want to leave you unless it was absolutely necessary. Are you able to return with me?"_

Orsino nodded and met her halfway across the room.

When they arrived back at her estate Orsino filled her in on the details of his conversation with Cullen while Hawke paced restlessly in front of the fireplace.

"I can't believe one of the mages would betray you like that," she said angrily. "Like you don't have enough stress with the templars constantly watching over your shoulder."

"I wouldn't be surprised to find that Meredith threatened a mage to help her. It wouldn't be the first time."

Hawke grumbled something he couldn't hear and continued to pace. A few minutes later the corner of her lips twitched upward. "You said that Cullen mentioned that someone he cared about wanted me safe? Someone like me?"

"That is what he said. Do you have an idea of who he was referring to?"

"Perhaps..."

Orsino crossed his arms and raised a brow when she didn't continue. "Care to share?"

"Oh." Hawke stopped pacing and gave him an embarrassed smile. "Sorry, I was just thinking. Do you know the name of the Warden Commander of the Grey? The Hero of Ferelden?"

Orsino pressed his lips together and shook his head slowly. "I'm sure I've heard it, but it's not coming to me at the moment."

"Okay... you do at least know that she is a mage?"

"Yes, I am aware of that."

"Well, her name is Zarina _Amell_. She grew up in the Circle..."

Orsino stared at her blankly. Why did she keep trailing off... Oh!. "She is your?"

"Cousin," Hawke answered happily.

"And she was raised in the Circle in Ferelden, I would assume. Which means that it's likely she knew our friendly templar before she was conscripted into the Wardens and he was sent to Kirkwall."

"She absolutely knows him and I also happen to know that she cares for him greatly. I don't know all the details, but it seems logical to me that she must have asked him to look out for me."

"And how do you know this?"

"Because she began writing me shortly after I reacquired our family estate and she mentioned Cullen in one of her letters. When I wrote back, I informed her that I had met him a few times. After that, she began asking after him on a regular basis. You don't continuously ask how someone is doing unless you care about them."

Orsino nodded in agreement, a small smile on his face. "If you are correct in your assumptions, then it is likely that Cullen is indeed trustworthy and unlikely to cause us any trouble."

"I'm fairly certain of it," Hawke said brightly.

Orsino chuckled quietly at her good humor and moved to remove his robe once more before reclining on large her canopy bed. He still had questions he wished to ask about her time in the Fade, her plan to go to Sundermount, and about Anders and his... passenger, but they could wait until tomorrow. He had no desire to bring an end to her chipper mood.

Orsino hummed in appreciation as a very warm, very soft, and very naked feminine form pressed against him and he rolled onto his side, his arms pulling her body flush against his.

"Orsino?"

"Yes, me dear?"

"You are wearing entirely too many clothes," she plucked at his tunic to prove her point.

Orsino laughed and kissed the end of her nose. "I think you may be right. Perhaps you'd like to help me remedy the situation?"

"Gladly."


	18. Relentless

**Disclaimer****:** Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belong to Bioware.

* * *

><p><em>And<em>_ many __things __we__ overcame  
>Do<em>_ you __want __to __let __it __slip __away  
>Don<em>_'__t __make a __mistake_

_We __must __return __to __another __day  
>With<em>_ the __courage __to __cross  
>You<em>_ know __we __must __fight_

_It__'__s __for __more __than __ourselves  
>We <em>_must __return __to__ yesterday  
>To <em>_remember __how __we __used __to __be  
>Can <em>_we __finally __move __along_

_~*~ __Relentless__ - __Tantric__ ~*~_

"I wish you would reconsider. As if I don't worry about your safety enough as it is, you are determined to travel outside the city where I will be incapable of doing anything to protect you."

"We've been over this, Orsino," Hawke said softly as she silently counted the potions she'd placed in her pack. "You can continue to stand there voicing your displeasure, or you can come over here and help me make sure I haven't forgotten anything important. Either way, I am leaving for Sundermount at sunrise."

"Maker, you are so blasted stubborn." Orsino paced over to his wardrobe and pulled it open. "Do you have any idea what it would do to me if you left tomorrow and didn't make it back? I would spend the rest of my life living with the guilt that I could have saved you if only I'd forced you to stay here with me instead of allowing you to foolishly traipse off into the mountains. And all for that idiotic child that you despise."

Hawke sighed and sat down on the bed. "She's not a child. And I don't despise Merrill, I despise the choices she's made."

Orsino pried open the chest hidden at the bottom of the wardrobe and felt around until he found what he was looking for. "You told me once before that nothing infuriated you more than blood mages, yet you still consort with that one on a regular basis." The chest slammed shut and he climbed to his feet. "The Eluvian should be destroyed. We have no idea what will happen if she manages to restore it. It has already killed one of the Dalish, how many more must die before she realizes the danger it poses."

"We don't know for sure that it killed anyone."

"No, but you did say they never saw the boy again. And that's besides the point. You told me that the Keeper wanted her to destroy the mirror. Do you honestly believe that Merrill has a better understanding of these things than Marethari?"

"I never said that."

Orsino unfurled the neatly rolled fabric and examined it for any damage it might have sustained in storage. "When the Keeper refused to help Merrill, she turned to blood magic. She's obsessed with restoring that mirror, and it may very well be a demon that continues to fuel her obsession. She is a risk to everyone. Especially her friends."

Hawke dropped her head into her hands and shook her head. "You have been angry with me ever since I told you I was going on this trip. For three days you have harped on and on about people being out to get me, and you not being able to protect me if I leave the city..." She stood and walked towards him. "But that's not what this is about. What's really bothering you is the fact that I am helping Merrill."

Orsino pressed his lips together in thought. A single poorly phrased comment, and he'd likely end up spending the evening alone and not seeing her again until she returned later in the week. _If __she __returns__ at __all__._

"You are very protective of your friends. I did not wish to anger you by expressing the full extent of my concern. I know that you believe Merrill would never intentionally harm anyone, but..."

"I know." Hawke placed a hand on his chest. "Please, Orsino, I beg of you to trust me. I know the potential danger, and I promise to be careful, but this is something I must do. If I don't, I'm left with only one other option, and it's an option I'm not willing to take. At least... not yet."

"Then tell me why you feel the need to do this?"

"It's... complicated."

Orsino groaned in frustration and shook his head. Grabbing the hand she had placed on his chest, he hung the garment over her arm. "The cloak is enchanted. It will keep you warm in the mountains."

Stepping away from her touch, Orsino let go of her hand and walked away. He was being unreasonable, he knew, but she was being equally stubborn. Nothing he had said mattered. She would always do what she felt was necessary, no matter how much he vehemently protested. It was one of the many aspects he loved about her, as well as one of the things that frustrated him to no end.

* * *

><p>Hawke stood a few feet behind him, her staff in hand and her pack slung over her shoulder. He had barely spoken to her after their argument. He'd even turned his back to her when they had gone to bed - which he had never done before. It had taken her a long time to fall asleep, knowing that he was angry and nothing she could say would change that. She had thought that he would continue to ignore her until she left, but when she awoke this morning she was curled up to his chest, her head tucked under his chin and his arms wrapped tightly around her. He had not said anything when she'd stirred, only placed a kiss on her forehead and climbed out of bed.<p>

Now he stared silently out of the only window in his chambers, his eyes transfixed on the silhouette of the Chantry spire in the distance.

"Are you at least going to tell me good-bye before I leave," she asked quietly.

She watched the movement of his shoulders as he drew in a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. It seemed like forever before he finally acknowledged her, but instead of turning around to face her, he extended a hand for her to take.

Hawke regarded the hand with a raised eyebrow before slowly reaching for it. She yelped as she was pulled and spun around. In a flurry of movement she was relieved of her staff and pack, and was being pressed bodily against the stone wall beneath the window. Then his mouth descended on hers.

It wasn't hungry and desperate like she would have expected, but a tender caress of lips and tongue and teeth. Sensual and sweet, inspired by the love and passion he held for her, and she clung to it, absorbed it until the hurt she'd felt at his previous coldness was nothing more than a distant memory. The back of her head rested against the cool glass of the window and she wrapped her arms around his neck, one hand sliding into his soft silver hair.

Hawke sighed softly when he broke the kiss, her eyes half-lidded in delight. "Maker... why do you always kiss me like that just before one of us has to leave?"

"A reminder of my love for you." Orsino ran his lips lightly along the edge of her jaw and placed a kiss just below her ear. "And a reminder of what is waiting here for you when you return." Continuing down her neck he kissed her collarbone, then raised his head to look down at her. "I am still not happy about this trip, but you still deserve to know that I love you and will be eagerly awaiting your return."

"Can I expect a similar kiss when I return?"

"Better, as long as you return to me in relatively the same healthy condition."

"Mmm... I don't see how you could possibly do better than that, but it's certainly an incentive to remain in one piece and get back home as soon as possible."

"Good." Orsino's eyes flitted across her face as if he was memorizing every detail, before his eyes found hers once more. "Now go... before I do something I'll regret."

Orsino replaced her pack on her shoulder and pressed her staff into her hand. Hawke smiled in appreciation and stood on her toes to kiss him once more before stepping away. "I love you, Orsino. Try to keep yourself out of trouble while I'm gone."

"Dareth, emma lath. Emma vhenan shirol ma."

* * *

><p>Hawke sat quietly in front of the fire, rubbing slow circles on her temples. They had pressed hard all day, wanting to get as close to the Dalish encampment as possible before being forced to stop for the night. When she had finally decided to call it a day, it had grown too dark to continue on at a descent pace, and Fenris' and Merrill's bickering had started giving her a migraine.<p>

"Why are you watching me like that?"

"You have vallaslin. The same markings that the Dalish have."

"Yours are not made of lyrium."

"No, they're made of blood. Our blood. That's what vallaslin means: blood writing. It's a mark of adulthood."

"Mine were carved into my flesh against my will, in a ritual I remember only for the agony it caused me."

"I'm... so sorry."

"I don't want your pity."

"I only meant..."

"You have all the freedom none of our kind enjoy, and you throw it away. On what?"

"Our people need to reclaim their heritage."

"A heritage of defeat? To what end?"

"Would you truly turn your back on your own history? There's so much we don't know..."

"It's not _my_ history. It's simply history."

It had grown quiet for awhile then, and Hawke had thought it over. But a few minutes later Merrill sidled up next to him again.

"Avert your eyes, witch."

"You said I was dwelling on "useless" history, but what are you doing? The past is important, to you and to all of us. We must know it to move forward."

"Yet I have made no deal with a demon to learn of my past. You had a life. You had a family. And you abandoned them to chase after ghosts. We are nothing alike. Don't even begin to think that we are."

That was when Hawke had called a stop, putting an end to any further arguing that might arise. Merrill had retired to her tent as soon a camp had been set. Varric now sat next to Hawke, telling a wild tale, as was his wont, and Fenris sat on the opposite side of the fire, seemingly amused by the dwarf's story. Hawke climbed to her feet and offered Varric a smile, who nodded in response. She walked by Fenris on her way to her tent, squeezing his shoulder lightly as she passed.

It was incredibly cold, whether it was just the higher elevation or the late fall season, she wasn't sure. Hawke pulled Orsino's cloak out of her pack and wrapped it around herself. Within moments she felt relief from the bitter chill, a comfortable warmth that spread from head to toe. She had other enchanted item; her staff, enchanted to increase the damage of her spirit magic; her necklace, enchanted to increase the potency of her healing spells; and her scarf, enchanted to strengthen her magical barriers. But never had she seen an item enchanted for such a practical purpose.

"_I __should __thank __you__, __love__. __This __cloak __is __incredible__, __and __it __carries__ your __scent__."_

"_You__ are __welcome__. __Have __you __made __camp __for __the __night__?"_

"_Yes__. __We__ stopped __about __two __hours __shy __of __the __Dalish __encampment__. __Are __you __in __your __chambers__?"_

"_No__. __Catching __up__ on __paperwork __was __more __desirable __than__ returning __to__ an __empty __bed__."_

"_I__'__m__ sorry__."_

"_Don__'__t __apologize__. __Just __do __what __you __set __out __to __do __and __come __home__."_

"_I__ will__. __I __should __try __to __get __some __sleep__, __I __have __to __rise __in __a__ few __hours __for __my__ turn __at __keeping __watch__. __Don__'__t__ stay __up __all __night__, __love__. __You __need__ your __sleep __as __well__."_

"_Don__'__t __worry __yourself __over __me__, __I __will __sleep __when __I__ must__. __Go __to__ sleep __and __rest __well__."_

"_Good__night__."_

Hawke sighed and laid down on her side. He was still angry, but at least he wasn't ignoring her anymore. She would just have to find a way to make it up to him when she returned to the city.

* * *

><p>Upon reaching the Dalish camp and speaking to Marethari, Merrill invoked some sort of Dalish right called vir sulevanan. In essence, Merrill would get the tool she wanted in exchange for us killing something called a varterral that was holed up in a cave not far from the camp. It had killed three members of the clan already, and she wanted it slain so that no more lives would be lost.<p>

Now, they were deep in said cave moving forward at a perilous speed, chasing after one of the clan members who had run from them at the sight of Merrill. As they rounded a particularly sharp corner, Hawke came to an abrupt stop and grabbed Merrill's arm just in time to keep her from tumbling head first off a ledge. "There," she pointed at a jagged decline that could be used like a staircase to reach the bottom floor.

The group carefully made their way down the steep stairs, and continued on until they reached a large spacious cavern. Hawke held up a hand to halt the group when she spotted the creature they had been hunting for. It was a huge spider-like beast with five spike-tipped legs, and two small arms that protruded from just behind it's head. The thing stood so tall that Hawke was quite certain she would barely be able to reach it's belly with her staff if she was standing directly beneath it.

"Varric, Merrill, stay back here. Fenris..."

The warrior was already moving. His lyrium tattoos illuminated with a vicious battle cry, the blue corona of light reminding Hawke of a ghost as he charged at the gigantic beast. Hawke followed in his footsteps, tossing a barrier around him as he slid in and took the first strike at one of the creature's legs. The varterral screeched loudly on impact, but took little physical damage near as Hawke could tell.

A squeal from Merrill drew Hawke's notice to the human sized spiders suddenly scuttling out of the dark crevices all around them. "Maker, I hate spiders," she muttered and threw a chunk of ice at a particularly nasty looking one that crawled to close. A grunt pulled her attention back to Fenris to find him climbing back to his feet after having been thrown into a nearby wall. She reached out with her magic to sense her companions' life-force, searching for any wounds that needed to be tended. Finding nothing, she returned her focus to the hulking creature above.

It's legs seemed to be covered in some kind of natural armor, but she surmised that a well-placed fireball to the face would likely be quite painful. The varterral screeched again and fell to ground. Fenris took the opportunity to jump onto the creatures back, slashing away at it with his greatsword.

Varric shouted behind her and Hawke spun around. Bianca was on the ground at his feet, and he was holding one arm tightly to his chest. "Varric!"

"Don't worry about me yet, help the elf," he growled between clenched teeth.

_Bloody __spiders__, __and__ their __bloody __poison__._

The varterral was still on the ground thrashing under Fenris' assault to it's backside. Taking a run for it, Fenris rushed up to the creature's head and drove his sword into one of it's eyes and then the other. He continued stabbing and hacking at the thing's face until it finally stilled beneath him. Panting heavily, he jumped down next to Hawke and took in their surrounding before charging into a large group of spiders that were trying to corner Varric.

Hawke reached into her pocket and pulled out a small vial and shoved it into the dwarf's hand. "Drink it. It will keep the venom from spreading."

Varric nodded and folded up his beloved crossbow so he could carry it easier with one arm and backed out of the way. The clicking of several legs hitting stone alerted Hawke to a spider closing in and she shot it twice with spirit bolts before slamming the blade of her staff down on it's back, splitting it partially in two. By the time she turned to the group Fenris had charged into, he and Merrill had already finished them off.

"Are you two alright," she asked the elves and at their nods she went off to take care of Varric's wounded arm.

"How's that, Varric? Did the antidote stop the burning," she asked as the energy of her healing spell began to fade.

"Right as rain now. Thanks, Hawke. I think Bianca got scratched, can you fix her too?"

Hawke chuckled and shook her head. "Better Bianca than you if you ask me."

"She didn't mean that, Bianca." He stroked a hand lovingly down the crossbow's stock. "It's just the left over adrenaline talking."

"Where's Merrill," Hawke inquired once she realized the Dalish was not with them. Fenris grunted and pointed across the room.

Hawke frowned. Pol, the Dalish that had run from them, was lying motionless in front of Merrill's kneeling form. "Why don't you two look around for anything useful to take with us. Just be careful, there may be more spiders around."

Hawke approached Merrill quietly and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"He shouldn't have run, Hawke. Why did he run?"

"I don't know, Merrill." In truth, she imagined that the Keeper had informed the clan of Merrill's intentions to rebuild the Eluvian and it had frightened them.

"You can save him, can't you? Please, Hawke, you have to try."

"I'm sorry, Merrill, he's gone. There's nothing I can do."

The trek back out of the cave was nearly unbearable. Merrill unhaltingly carrying on about how the clan had no reason to be afraid of her, and Fenris retorting with his usual snide remarks.

By the time they reached the Dalish camp it was well past nightfall. Merrill had gone straight to the keeper with the lockets they had picked up, each belonging to one of the three dead clansmen in the cave, and to inform her of Pol's demise. While Merrill was busy with Marethari, a Dalish scout had approached Hawke and informed her that they were welcome to set up their tents inside the encampment for the evening so that they could all get a full nights rest before heading back down the mountain.

She laid down in her tent with a sigh, thankful that she wouldn't have to keep watch tonight, and happy that they would be heading back home at dawn. She had no interest in tarrying in the mountains, nor did she wish to impose on the Dalish any longer than necessary. They didn't much like humans - not that she blamed them - and she didn't want to push their already-reluctant hospitality.

* * *

><p>"Hawke! Hawke, I need to speak with you."<p>

Hawke groaned and forced her eyes open. The sun had yet to rise, but she didn't need to see to know who was prodding at her feet, trying to get her attention.

"What is it, Merrill?"

"I... You said you wanted to leave at dawn and that is only an hour away so I thought I would go ahead and wake you, but... that is not the only reason."

Hawke sighed and sat up, wrapping Orsino's cloak around her shoulders as she did so. "Just tell me what it is, Merrill. I'm not awake enough to keep up with your rambling... no offense."

"Oh... of course, Hawke. It's just... well I spoke to the Keeper last night when we returned and she was grateful that we killed the varterral, but..."

"Let me guess, she didn't give you the tool you came here for?"

"No. She said that she would not give it to me without speaking with you about it first."

"Right, of course... Just... give me a few minutes."

Her conversation with the Keeper was a brief one. Marethari wanted her to try to change Merrill's mind about repairing the mirror, and Hawke explained that Merrill didn't much want to listen. In the end, the Keeper entrusted the Dalish heirloom to her for safe-keeping and begged her not to allow Merrill to use it.

"Thank the Creators," Merrill chirped brightly when Hawk returned to the group. "I thought... maybe she'd go back on her word."

"Merrill... Is it worth restoring this mirror if it turns your clan against you?"

Merrill lowered her head to stare at her feet. "You know what it's like to lose everything, Hawke. Not just our land and freedom, but history, stories, language, magic, rituals. Even our gods are gone." Slowly she raised her head to look at Hawke. "It is a sacrifice, but if the mirror restores even one fragment of the past, it's worth it."

"The eluvian is ruining your life, Merrill. It turned you to blood magic. You don't really want to do this."

"You're siding with the Keeper? This is dangerous, yes, but it is restoring something vital to my people! I know what I'm doing, Hawke. Give me the arulin'holm."

"Merrill," Hawke sighed and shook her head. "I'm keeping it. I can't let you do this."

"You're keeping a priceless heirloom of _my_ clan? You have no right! You're not even Dalish! I can't believe you! Why did I trust you? You're just a _shemlen_ like all the others. I... I have nothing further to say."

Hawke watched as Merrill picked up her staff and pack off the ground, before heading towards the encampment's exit without a single glance back. "I suppose I deserve that... Varric..."

"On it, Hawke. I'll make sure Daisy makes it home alright."

"Thank you. If you two run into any trouble, Fenris and I will be close behind."

* * *

><p>The scraping of metal as swords were drawn and the creaking of wood as bows were knocked, was the only warning they had before they were surrounded.<p>

"Hunters," Fenris growled next to her and pulled his broadsword from his back.

"Stop right there!" A voice called from the top of a nearby cliff. "You are in possession of stolen property. Back away from the slave now, and you'll be spared"

Hawke scowled and took a step closer to her companion. "Fenris is a free man!"

"I won't repeat myself. Back away from the slave now!"

"I am not your slave," Fenris shouted back, his tattoos flaring brightly as he drew on their power.

"Fenris, I've got the archers and the mage, just keep the others off me."

The fight didn't last long. Spells flew from Hawke's hands, bolts of magic erupted from her staff and any that dared to venture too close were struck down by fierce swings of a sword wielded by a very angry elf. After less than ten minutes of fighting Hawke counted twelve archers, nearly twice as many close combat fighters, and one mage lying on the ground amongst the carnage at their feet. All dead save for one, the mage, who was desperately trying to crawl away from the scene on his elbows without being noticed.

Fenris stalked over to the mage and planted one foot on the center of his back. His clawed gauntlet reached for the mage's head and grabbed a handful of hair, pulling the man's head back painfully.

"Where is he?" Fenris growled and slammed the mage's face into the ground.

"Please don't kill me!"

"Tell me!" The mage's face met dirt again.

"I don't know! I don't know, I swear."

Hawke eased ever closer. Part of her wanting to pull Fenris off and try to calm him, but another part of her knowing that the man probably deserved whatever pain Fenris decided to inflict on him.

"Hadriana brought us! She's at the holding cells north of the city! I can show you the way."

"No need," Fenris said darkly. "I know which ones you speak of."

"Then let me go. I beg you! I swear I wont..."

"You chose the wrong master," Fenris interrupted, and to Hawke's utter disbelief, snapped the mage's neck and dropped his lifeless body to the ground, forgotten.

"Hadriana. I was a fool to think I was free. They'll never let me be!"

"You know her, I take it." Hawke was hesitant. She'd known Fenris nearly four years and never once had she seen him as angry as he was now.

"My old master's apprentice. I remember her well; a sniveling social climber that would sell her own children if she thought it would please Danarius. If she's here, it's at his bidding. I knew he wouldn't let this go."

"They need to be stopped before this goes any further. If we don't go after her now, it's likely she'll send more men after you later."

"The holding caves held slaves in the old times, but apparently they are no longer abandoned. We must go quickly, before Hadriana has a chance to prepare... or flee."

"Do you think we can handle this on our own? I'm willing to try, but I don't... if they are too many for us to handle..."

"What about your mage? Can't he teleport to you or something?"

"No, it's... not that simple, but I may be able to get him to us. Let's just head towards the caves. I'll see what I can work out on the way."

* * *

><p>"We must be careful. There were many such holdings once, especially in the mountains where individual slavers kept private pens. They were designed to protect against raids by fellow slavers. No doubt it's why Hadriana chose this place."<p>

"Don't worry, Fenris. Hadriana won't escape us."

"Yes, let's just hope this isn't a waste of time. Did you work out a way for Orsino to join us or will we venture in just the two of us?"

"I have. Though I'm not extremely comfortable with the idea."

"Why not?"

"For me to teleport to a location there has to be a rune placed there, and I must be bound to it. I can create one here and cast the binding spell, then I can teleport to the city and teleport back with Orsino. The part I am uncomfortable with is leaving you here alone. I thought of taking you with me and trying to teleport us all back, but I'm afraid of what effect it may have on you..."

Hawke's eyes fell to one of his hands, then went back up to his face. The sad expression she gave him caused Fenris to look down at his palms and the lyrium tattoos that stood out in stark contrast to his bronze skin. "I... see. I suppose that's just as well. I'm not exactly keen on the idea of being teleported about anyhow. Do what you must. I will be safe enough until you return."

Hawke made the required preparations and had Orsino there in minutes. It was clear to Fenris that the older elf must have been waiting for her, but how he'd known she was coming was a bit of mystery.

"Drink the lyrium potion I gave you," Orsino told Hawke before making his way to Fenris. "I take it we don't know what to expect inside?"

Fenris shrugged. "Numerous hunters, various traps, and at least one mage - a magister's apprentice. She is powerful, but should be no match for a mage of your skill, or Hawke's for that matter."

"Thanks to Varric's tutelage, I should be able to take care of any traps or locks we encounter. I'm more concerned with the number of enemies we may find inside," Hawke added to the conversation as she joined the two elves.

"If we stick together and move carefully, we'll be fine." Hawke bristled at her lover's frosty tone, but said nothing in response. _Three__ days __and __still __angry__. _She had thought that needing his help, knowing about the ambush, as well as Merrill and Varric's unexpected absence would have calmed him somewhat. It seemed she had been mistaken.

Upon entering the cave the first thing they found was what looked like some sort of sacrificial alter. The alter was covered in blood that had dripped down the sides to settle into small pools on the floor.

"See for yourself, the legacy of the magisters," Fenris sneered behind her.

"Blood magic." Hawke wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"In a society where mages rule, they find many ways to justify their need for power."

Orsino said nothing, but Hawke could tell that he was just as repulsed as she was.

They continued to move slow and steady through the cave, Hawke keeping a close eye out for traps as they went. When they encountered enemies Fenris would charge them drawing their attention away from the two mages, while Orsino rained fire and ice upon them, and Hawke maintained barriers around her companions, healing them when necessary.

In one room they rescued a young elven slave from a group of hunters that were terrorizing her. Her father had been the one sacrificed that morning, the poor girl was frightened and unsure of what was happening. After asking her a few questions and discovering what she could about what they would face ahead, Hawke told the elf to go and find her estate in Kirkwall, and assured her she would help her when she returned the next day.

"I didn't realize you were in the market for a slave."

"I'm giving her a job, Fenris. What else would you have had me do? If I just gave her money and sent her on her way, she'd just be robbed, recaptured, or killed. In my home she will be paid for her work and she'll be safe."

"Ah... then, that's good. My apologies."

Hawke gave him a curt nod and gestured for them to continue. It hurt, having him accuse her of something so disgusting as wanting to own a slave, but he wasn't himself at the moment. Hadriana's presence had caused his dormant hatred to resurface. Once she was taken care of he would return to his usual self - or at least she so hoped.

* * *

><p>"Stop! You do not want me dead!"<p>

Hadriana was sprawled on the floor, an arm stretched out before her in a pointless attempt to stop the blade that would inevitably end her despicable life.

"There is only one person I want dead more." Fenris stood a few feet away, his broadsword held above his head, ready to strike at any moment.

"I have information, elf, and I will trade in it return for my life."

Fenris scoffed. "The location of Danarius? What good will that do me? I'd rather he lose his pet pupil."

Hawke knew the woman was going to die, and she was ready for that. She even half expected to find out that Danarius himself was nearby - or on his way - and she was ready for that. But she was not at all ready for the words that came out of Hadriana's mouth next.

"You have a sister. She is alive!"

And if Hawke's judge of body language was any good at all, Fenris was no more ready to hear them. His mouth fell open, his eyes widened, and his sword slowly lowered to his side.

"You wish to reclaim your life? Let me go, and I will tell you where she is."

"How do we know your even telling the truth?" Hawke stepped up beside Fenris, giving her friend a moment to recover from the initial shock.

"You don't. But I know Fenris, and I know what he's been searching for. If he wants me to betray Danarius, he'll have to pay for it."

Hawke grimaced. She almost wished the witch had kept her mouth shut and died with the rest of Danarius' puppets. "This is your call, Fenris," she said so low only he could hear. Not that it mattered what she said, she was fairly certain what the end result was going to be.

Fenris stepped forward and leaned down over the mage until his face was only inches from hers.

"So I have you word? I tell you, and you let me go?"

"Yes, you have my word."

"Her name is Varania. She is in Qarinas serving a magister by the name of Ahriman."

Fenris tilted his head to one side. "A servant. Not a slave."

"She's not a slave," Hadriana confirmed.

"I believe you."

Fenris' tattoos flared to life before she could say another word. The only other sound Hadriana made was a gasp of pain as Fenris' fist ripped through her chest. Hawke heard Orsino suck in a sharp breath behind her, but he said nothing.

When the body fell lifeless at his feet, Fenris turned around and crossed between Hawke and Orsino, "We are done here."

"Fenris, do you want to talk about it," Hawke asked hesitantly.

"No. I don't want to talk about it," he growled and spun around to face her. "This could be a trap! Danarius could have sent Hadriana here to tell me about this "sister." Even if he didn't, trying to find her would still be suicide! Danarius has to know about her and has to know that Hadriana knows. But all that matters is I finally got to crush this bitch's heart. May she rot, and all the other mages with her."

Hawke's eyes burned as tears threatened to stream down her face. "Fenris please, I..."

"You saw what was done here. There's always going to be some reason, some excuse why mages need to do this. Even if I found my sister, who knows what the magisters have done to her. What has magic touched that it doesn't spoil?" Fenris turned his back to her once more, "I... need to go", and headed into a tunnel that appeared to lead to a nearby exit.

Hawke stared after him, silent tears streaking down her cheeks. She had worked so hard to get him to open up, to prove to him that not all mages were vile and corrupt like the magisters he'd come to hate. Danarius had taken his freedom, his family, his memories, but he had started letting all that go. He had become her closest friend, and she his. Now it seemed Danarius had taken that too.

Orsino rested a hand on the small of her back and she turned her head to look up at him. Seeing the tears in her eyes, he pulled her into his chest and placed his other hand on the back of her head.

"I thought you were still angry with me."

Orsino closed his eyes at the sound of the pain in her voice. "You've had enough stress for one day," he murmured into her hair. "Why don't you take us home?"

Hawke nodded weakly and gathered her energy to teleport them to the Gallows. He knew it would be a long night, but all Orsino could care about in that moment was having her safe and back in his arms.

* * *

><p>Dalish Translation :<p>

Dareth, emma lath. Emma vhenan shirol ma - Be safe, my love. My heart travels with you.

Shemlen - Quick children (Dalish term for humans)

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: A little thank you to one of my sisters who recently offered to beta read my stories for me. With her help, I'm sure my stories will not be as typo-ridden as before. Love you much, sis. :)

And for those of you who continue to read along, and leave me the occasional review, I thank you for bearing with me. A lot of this story was not in my original plot idea and just kind of came to me as I was writing. I've really been enjoying writing about this couple and their struggles. The next chapter will be incredibly angsty, and I apologize ahead of time, but I certainly hope you still enjoy it.


	19. Tell Me I Was Dreaming

Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and it's characters belong to Bioware.

* * *

><p><em>When <em>_I __woke __up __this __morning  
>Wiped <em>_the __sleep __from __my __eyes  
>Found <em>_a __new __day __dawning  
>And <em>_suddenly__ I __realize_

_You__'__re __gone_

_Tell __me__ I __was __dreaming  
>That <em>_you __didn__'__t __leave __me __here __to __cry  
>You<em>_ didn__'__t __say __you__ don__'__t __love __me __anymore  
>And <em>_it __was __just __my __imagination__ telling __lies_

_Tell__ me __that __you __didn__'__t __say __goodbye_

_~*~ __Tell__ Me __I Was Dreaming__ - __Travis __Tritt__ ~*~_

The day following her return from Sundermount, Hawke had recounted to him her time away in full detail. The journey there, the fight with the varterral, her discussion with the Keeper, the argument with Merrill that had led to the group's separation, and finally the ambush on the road that had led her to requesting his help. Now, nearly a week later, Merrill still refused to talk to Hawke, and Fenris had not been seen since their excursion into the slaver caverns.

Orsino was grateful that she had made it back safely, but he could not say that she had returned completely unharmed. Fenris' disappearance affected her much more than she was willing to show. Every day she went by the elf's "borrowed" mansion hoping to find him, and every day she returned a little more sullen and despondent. He tried to convince her that Fenris probably just needed some time to himself, but it hadn't seemed to help.

Orsino pried open another missive on his desk - a list of supplies needing to be restocked. He checked them off one by one, making sure nothing was listed that shouldn't be, before setting it aside to take to Meredith later. The next one was from the Grand Cleric, asking for him to stop by the Chantry the next time he left the Gallows.

When he opened the third one and began reading the cramped script on the parchment his heart stopped cold.

_A__ brief __letter __to __let __you __know __that __I __am__ still __alive__, __old __friend__. __Is __your __lover __aware __that __you__ tried __to __kill __me __and __failed__? __Have __you__ told __her __about __the __help __you __gave__ me __to __further __my __research__? __If__ not__, __she __will __know__ soon __enough__. __A __good __relationship __can__'__t __be __built __on __secrets__ - __wouldn__'__t __you __agree__?_

_The__ time __has __come __for __you __to __suffer __the __consequences __of __your __failure__, __Orsino__. __I __do__ hope __you __have __made __the __most __of __the __past __few__weeks__. _

The parchment burst into flames, leaving behind a gust of scattering ashes in the wake of his hasty departure.

* * *

><p>"Hawke."<p>

Hawke glanced up from her book and smiled tiredly at the captain of the guard. "Hello, Aveline. What brings you here?"

Aveline entered the room and took a seat in the chair next to Hawke. "There were several dead templars found beneath the Gallows this morning," she said casually.

"Oh?"

Hawke didn't seem all that surprised by the news, verifying Aveline's suspicions and the reason for her coming here. "Alright, tell me what happened."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

Aveline narrowed her gaze, and snatched the book from her friend's hands. "We have known each other far too long for you to lie to me, Hawke. You look like shit, which tells me you were up all night, _and_ you would have shown more concern just now if you had not already known. Out with it."

Hawke sighed and her shoulders slumped, her face taking on a saddened frown. "It was horrible, Aveline. The whole ordeal. I just didn't want to talk about it."

"I'm sorry, Hawke, but I need to know what happened. The bloody Knight-Commander is furious, and demanding answers."

"Doesn't she have her own men investigating? Why is she hounding you?"

Aveline raised a brow at her question, and Hawke shook her head. "Right, forget I asked... A while back Anders was telling me about a templar that was trying to push for something he was calling the "Tranquil Solution". In essence, his plan involved turning every mage in Kirkwall tranquil. At the time, I had thought Anders to be over-reacting, but when he came to me yesterday asking for help, he was so adamant. He was convinced if something wasn't done immediately that we were all doomed."

Aveline groaned and rubbed a hand down her face. "Of course it was Anders... Go on."

"We entered the underground tunnels through a passage in Darktown, and fought our way through several groups of lyrium smugglers on our way towards the Gallows. I think it took us about an hour to reach the spot Ser Alric and his men were gathered. I had every intention of trying to talk to the templar, to see if I could reason with him, but things didn't go as planned - as they rarely do.

"He was threatening a young mage that he'd found leaving the circle, she wasn't even trying to flee, she was only trying to sneak out to go visit her family, but Alric would hear none of it. Anders, or Justice, or vengeance - whatever he should be called - would have no talking either; he started glowing all blue and threatened the templar. The next thing I know we were being swarmed by more templars than I could count. I thought for certain we were done for, but... do you remember the first time I went to meet Anders and the fight against the templars in the Chantry to help his friend? Oh, what was his name... Karl. Karl had already been made tranquil, but when Justice pushed forth from Anders, he was somehow brought back to himself briefly."

Aveline nodded, remembering the event well. "I do. Karl begged Anders to kill him before he lost his senses again, and you encouraged him to do it."

"Aveline, if I am ever made tranquil I would hope you would give me the same mercy," Hawke said sadly, then shook her head. "Anyway, whatever it was that affected Karl must have affected us in the battle against the templars. I felt their abilities, every smite and silence that struck me, but none were able to sever my connection to the Fade. I was grateful at the time. But it scares me, Aveline. It means that even the templars would not be able to stop him if Justice gained complete control. The only way to stop him would be to get up close and strike... " Hawke's skin paled suddenly, and her hands clenched tightly into fists.

"Hawke, are you alright?"

"I... just need a minute. I'll be right back."

Aveline watched as Hawke fled the room, confused by the sudden outburst. A minute later Hawke reappeared and sat back down in her chair, a line of worry etched into her forehead.

"What is it?"

"It seems our murderer - that blood mage we were tracking before - is up to something again. Orsino received a letter from him this morning, he's on his way here to tell me about it.

"And you know this how exactly?"

Hawke bit her lip. "Can I just call it a precisely accurate hunch?"

"You can, but you know I don't buy that nonsense." Aveline rolled her eyes. "As for last night's events, I will try to pass it off as a deal gone bad between templars and lyrium smugglers. Shouldn't be too difficult since their are bodies from both sides."

"I'm sorry, Aveline. I didn't mean for it to turn out like it did. I generally try not to leave messes for you to clean up."

"I know, and I don't blame you for this one either. If it's anyone's fault it's Anders', although this Ser Alric doesn't sound blameless. Did you find out if Anders' suspicions were correct?"

"They were. I saw the documents myself. Fortunately, I also found documents showing that the Knight-Commander, the Grand Cleric, even The Divine herself had rejected the idea, so he was essentially working alone. Perhaps things will be a little easier for the mages with him gone. I have to admit, I'm not sorry he's dead, the man was vile."

"I don't disagree with that observation, though I can't say I agree that death was the correct answer - not that you were given much of a choice. Just be careful, Hawke, I can only do so much to protect you from the Knight-Commander. If...

"What have you done now?" Aveline and Hawke both looked at Orsino as he entered the room. "Let me guess. It has something to do with an apprentice from the Circle, an unstable apostate, and several dead templars?"

"How..."

"It wasn't that difficult to piece together. You were gone last night "helping a friend", an apprentice that was missing at last night's meal miraculously reappeared before breakfast, and a group of plotting templars were slaughtered in the tunnels beneath the Gallows. All of those things are either linked somehow or it is all a very strange coincidence, and I don't much believe in the latter."

"It was a very long night," Hawke said tiredly. "I will tell you about it later. For now, tell me about this letter you received."

Orsino swallowed thickly and knelt on the floor next to Hawke's chair. "We do not have much time before he follows through with whatever his plan of attack is."

"Wait a minute," Aveline spoke up, "Why is he sending you letters in the first place?"

"It's a long..." Orsino raised up a hand to stop Hawke from speaking.

"She should know the truth... and so should you," he said quietly. He had thought of what he would say to her on the way to her estate, and though it scared him, he knew she deserved to hear the truth from him, instead of learning it from the man that tried to kill her.

Hawke sat up straighter in her chair, her eyes locked on his, her impassive mask firmly in place. _Maker__, __I__ had __hoped __to __never __see __her __use __that __mask __with __me __again_, he thought nervously. Orsino took a deep breath, and gathered his nerve.

"A few weeks ago I discovered a way to get in contact with the mage, and I sent word requesting him to meet with me. He agreed readily, even without revealing my identity before hand. When he arrived, I attacked him with the intent of killing him, but I underestimated him. I made a mistake, and it very well could have cost me my life, had he chosen to take it. He did not, obviously. Instead he said that I should have killed him when I had the chance, and the one I was trying to protect would pay the price for my failure; that I would be forced to watch as her heart crumbled and shattered to pieces at my feet."

Orsino turned from Aveline back to Hawke. His eyes were beginning to burn and it took him a moment to realize what was causing the sensation. Tears. The first he recalled shedding since being taken from his family as a child. "The mage's name is Quentin. He was in the Starkhaven Circle briefly, but the Knight-Commander and First Enchanter both realized that he was a threat and sentenced him to be made tranquil. I left for Kirkwall before the order had been carried out. It seems he escaped somehow after I left."

Hawke opened her mouth to say something, but Orsino grabbed her hand and shook his head.

"That is not all. A few years ago, before the murders started, I received a request asking for a few specific books that could not be found outside of the Circle - at least not outside of Tevinter. The books requested were on necromancy. At first I declined the request, but I received another letter describing why he wanted them, the research he was doing, and it all seemed so harmless. If I had known... I didn't even start putting it all together until that night I followed you into the Fade. It wasn't until then that I discovered the depths of his depravity. You must believe me, I didn't keep this from you to hurt you, I was trying to do the opposite. I thought we could find him and put a stop to his plans before he caused any more harm."

Aveline shifted in her chair, but Orsino never averted his eyes from Hawke's. He needed her to see how sorry he was.

"You two need to talk alone," Aveline said after a moment. "I will see if we have any records of a Quentin owning any property in the city. I will also increase the patrols around the estate for a few days."

Hawke nodded mutely, and Aveline hurried to exit the room, closing the door behind her. She paused for a moment on her way out, "Bodahn, you might want to keep Orana busy in the kitchen for the next little while. The noise she is likely to hear coming from upstairs might frighten the poor girl."

"Is everything alright, Messere," the dwarf asked worriedly. "Is Messere Hawke in danger?"

"When is Hawke not in danger?" she grumbled. "However, right now I don't think she's the one we should be worried about."

* * *

><p>Upstairs, Orsino was still staring up at Hawke, and her eyes had yet to move from his. She was still wearing her mask, but he could feel her mixed emotions warring for dominance within. Rage, pain, sorrow, all things he had expected. But there was something else, an emotion that cut him deeper than all the others... regret.<p>

"Tell me what happened in the Fade."

"Please do not make me tell you everything that happened. I have... painful memories of that night, and I do not wish to burden you with them as well."

"Then, for now, just tell me the part about the mage," she said after a moment.

"He had been torturing you." Orsino closed his eyes against the painful memories that returned of that night. "It had been going on every night for months, and each time it was getting worse. He was trying to break you, to trick you into making a deal with a demon. You are strong, resilient, but I honestly don't know how much more you would have been able to take before you gave in. I have never before seen you so..."

Her fingers touched his cheek and he reopened his eyes to look at her. "So... what?"

"Broken," he answered sadly. "When I made my presence known to you, the illusion shattered. That was when Quentin appeared, though I had no idea who he was at the time. It was a tense discussion. He told you that I had helped him before, which I denied at the time. It wasn't until later that I remembered the letters and the books, and began to connect them. He then said he would leave you alone as long as you stayed out of his way, and that he expected me to continue to help him should he ask for it."

"Why didn't you tell me this before? Why can't I remember any of it?"

Orsino hesitated in answering those questions. He didn't want to tell her what Mercy had done. If she knew, she would approach the spirit, and it would likely feel obligated to tell her the entire story. "After Quentin left us in the Fade, I turned back to you and you began demanding answers. When I tried to approach you, you backed away from me. You were angry, accusing me of knowing his identity and helping him. I tried to explain that I didn't know who he was, and that I had not helped him knowingly."

"But what? I wouldn't listen, so you did something to my memory so I wouldn't remember when I woke up," she asked coldly.

"No. I did nothing of the sort."

"You expect me to believe you? After all that you just told me? Lies of omission are still lies, Orsino. I trusted you, more than I have ever trusted anyone." Hawke sighed and pulled away from him.

"Honor is the only thing a person has that can not be taken away by another," she said sadly. "That is the greatest lesson my father ever taught me. I have never once lied to you, Orsino, and until a few weeks ago, I had thought that you were the one person that I could trust to never lie to me."

Orsino couldn't breath. His chest constricted tightly, his heart breaking. "Zalandra, I..."

"Don't." Hawke stood and turned her back to him. "You want to tell me you're sorry, that you love me, that you were scared that you would lose me. I get it. And I don't doubt the sincerity of any of it, but I am not ready to hear it. I think it's best if you leave, and don't expect me tonight, I need some time alone."

A mixture of fear and anger swept through Orsino and he climbed to his feet. When he reached her, he grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. "I will not. You are in too much danger. You can be angry, you can even hate me, but I will not leave you to face that monster alone."

Hawke gave him a sad look and placed her hand on his wrist. She tugged until he released his grip then directed his hand to her chest, and rested her hand on top of his. "My heart belongs to you, but it is fractured and needs time to heal. Please go. Don't force me to say or do something that I will regret later."

Orsino opened his mouth to argue, he wasn't going to leave her there alone, but before he could speak he was surrounded by the familiar sense of her magic.

Hawke backed away from him as soon as they arrived in his chambers. "I'm sorry. I know you want to protect me, but I can take care of myself," and with that she teleported back to her estate, leaving him to dwell on his mistakes alone.

* * *

><p>When Hawke returned to her room she was immediately drawn to the sound of Zedicus barking, and her uncle's raised voice downstairs. Pushing the storm of her emotions aside, she stepped out of her room and headed towards the commotion.<p>

"Enchantment?"

"No! Not enchantment. Leandra. Can I see her?"

"Enchantment!" Sandal clapped his hands excitedly.

"No, Leandra. Lee. Ann. Drah!"

"Uncle, stop pestering Sandal. What's wrong?"

"There you are! Where's your mother? Is she feeling alright?"

"As far as I know..." she said slowly.

"You're mother didn't show up for our weekly visit. Is she ill? She is here isn't she?"

Dread began to pool in her belly as his words sank in. Her mother would have sent a message if she wasn't going to be able to make it, or even if she was running late.

"No, Gamlen," Bodahn answered as he entered the room. "We haven't seen her all day."

"Where could she be," Gamlen asked the dwarf.

"With her suitor, perhaps?"

"Suitor? Leandra never mentioned a suitor."

"Well, those lilies arrived for her this morning."

_Maker__, __no__... __please__, __no__._ "White lilies," Hawke asked around the knot building in her throat."

"Yes, Messere. Is something wrong?"

"I have to go. There's no time to explain, mother is in danger."

"Maybe... maybe Leandra took a different path to my house. I could have just missed her. I'm going back to Lowtown," Gamlen said in reply, but Hawke was already out the front door.

* * *

><p>She beat on the door frantically before pushing it open. "Fenris! Fenris, if you're here, please, I need your help!" <em>Maker<em>_ why __couldn__'__t __he __be __here__ when __I __truly __needed __him_. Zedicus barked and nudged her leg, reminding her that this was not a time to linger longer than necessary.

"You're right boy," she murmured and took a deep breath. Slamming the door shut, she ran as fast as her legs would carry her to the Viscount's Keep.

"Aveline! Mother's missing. That bastard took her. You have to help me find her!"

Aveline jumped out of her chair and rushed to Hawke's side, placing a calming hand on her shoulder. "Slow down, Hawke. What happened?"

"Gamlen came to the house looking for her. She was supposed to be at his house today for her weekly visit and she never arrived. Bodahn said she received white lilies this morning. Aveline, please, we must find her."

Aveline was already equipping her sword and shield by the time she finished speaking, and directed Hawke to the door. On their way out Aveline ordered one of her lieutenants to gather a contingent of guards and begin searching the streets. Hawke sent Zedicus ahead of them to retrieve Varric as they made their way to Lowtown, knowing that the mabari could reach the rogue faster than they could.

When they reached the market, they could hear Gamlen's raised voice and rounded a corner to find him yelling at a young boy in the middle of the street. Hawke barely listened to what her uncle was saying before she grabbed his arm and whipped him away from the child. "Enough," she said through gritted teeth, before dropping his arm and kneeling in front of the boy.

"I apologize for my uncle. If I give you this sovereign, will you tell me what you saw?"

The boys eyes lit up, and he nodded enthusiastically. After handing him the gold coin and the boy told her what he knew, she thanked him with a pat on the head.

"Gamlen, go home and wait to see if she shows up, if she does, make her stay there."

"Don't you tell me what to do, _girl_."

"I do not have time to argue with you, you ass. Just do what I said!"

Hawke spun around to head further into Lowtown and nearly ran over Varric.

The dwarf patted her arm, saying it was alright. "Who's missing?"

"Mama." Varric nodded, understanding her urgency, and stepped out of her way.

The boy had told Hawke that the man he saw had been wounded, and her mother had stopped to help him. She had then walked with him back to the man's house to help treat the wound. It only took them a couple of minutes to spot a smattering of blood on the street, and not far ahead Varric pointed out another one. They had a trail.

"_Zalandra__, __what__'__s__ going __on__? __Where __are __you__?"_

"_Not__ now__."_

"_I__ can __feel __your __fear__, __you__ stubborn __woman__. __Tell __me __what __is __happening__!"_

"_That__ bastard __took __my __mother__!"_

"_Maker__...__Zalandra__, __I__'__m __sorry__. __Tell __me __where __you __are__. __I __can __help__."_

"_You__'__ve__ done __enough__."_

"_I__ never __meant __for __this __to __happ__..."_

"_Silence__! __You__ are __a __distraction__, __and__ I __have__ no__ time __for __it__."_

Orsino grew quiet with her bitter comment, and though part of her felt bad for being so cold, she had to remain focused on her current task.

* * *

><p>The group forced their way through the abandoned foundry, killing the shades and demons that blocked their path. They had been here once before, years ago. The killer had gotten away, and the only thing they had found were the remains of the missing women. This time they had discovered a trap door leading deeper inside, and they had reached the mage's living area.<p>

There was a picture above the hearth that closely resembled Leandra. Scattered around the room were numerous books on blood magic and necromancy, including the ones Orsino had sent him - marked by the letter hanging out of one such book that was in her lover's hand. She grabbed the letter, folded it, and shoved it into a pocket to read later.

They continued on, heading deeper into the dark dankness of the blood mage's sanctum. The acrid scent of blood and death hung heavily in the air. They had already found Alessa's body - the woman Gascard DuPuis had kidnapped nearly a year ago in an attempt to lure Quentin to him- and Hawke felt the hope of finding her mother alive dwindling the further they went.

Something on the ground reflected the light of Hawke's staff, and she bent down to investigate. The light chain of the necklace hung through her fingers as she examined it, "Mama's locket," she whispered to no one in particular, and dropped it into a pocket for safe-keeping. She was already preparing herself for the worst by the time they reached the final room.

Quentin turned and smiled up at her as she entered. "Ah, I was wondering when you'd show up. Leandra was so sure you would come for her."

"Where is she?".

Quentin narrowed his eyes, and gave her a wicked grin. "You will never understand my purpose. Your mother was chosen because she was special. And now she is part of something... greater."

"Spare me the demented rambling, Quentin. Tell me where she is."

"You know who I am, do you? What else did he tell you, hmm? I'll bet..."

"He told me everything, you bastard. I'm done talking. Where is my mother?"

"She is here," he said pointing to a nearby chair. "She is waiting for you. I have done the impossible. I have touched the face of the Maker and lived. Do you know what the strongest force in the universe is?"

"Love," he answered his own question as he stepped in front of the chair. "I pieced her together from memory. I found her eyes, her skin, her delicate fingers. And at last, her face... oh, this beautiful face. I've searched far and wide to find you again, beloved, and no force on this earth will part us." Hawke's eyes widened as the human form stood and turned to face them.

Quentin gave her no time to approach. Bringing up a barrier around himself, he backed into the nearby corner and summoned a mass of undead that surrounded the group.

Hawke felt the veil sunder around them; shades and demons began to pour into the room. She focused all of her attention on the mage, killing anything that stood between her and her target until she was standing within arms reach.

She reached into the barrier, flames sparking from her hand as she wrapped it firmly around his throat, using a touch of force magic to shove him against the wall and hold him there. She could hear the din of battle around her: the whistling of bolts flying and penetrating their targets, the sounds of a blade sinking into flesh, the growls and snaps of her war-hound as his teeth bit through meat and bone. She was surrounded by the smell of death and burning flesh. Never before had she ever felt the need for vengeance until that very moment; never had she known such hatred.

"You will not escape me as you did, Orsino," she said calmly. "You will burn for what you have done. You are a monster, and you will die like one."

Quentin wailed in agony as fire surrounded and consumed him. The flames were held in check with perfect control, control she had learned from the man who had tried to protect her, but had betrayed her in the process. She had lost her father to an illness she could not save him from. Her sister to an ogre that she was unable to defeat fast enough. Her brother to an order of zealous warriors that would see her kind destroyed. Her best friend to a corrupt Magister of the Tevinter Imperium. Her mother to a crazed blood mage. And her lover to a misguided sense of judgement.

A voice behind her was trying to get her attention, but she couldn't hear the words. Everything seemed so distant, so insignificant to the overall picture. She couldn't save everyone like she kept trying to do. She'd been unable to save her friends, her family, and now even herself as she withdrew into the dark recesses of her mind. She would go on, a shell of herself. Fighting the good fight until the Maker saw fit to end her suffering.

"Hawke, it's over, he's dead."

Her head tilted to the side to look at Aveline, and she released her grip on what was left of Quentin's remains. She caught movement in her peripheral vision and turned just in time to catch her mother's collapsing form - or what was left of her. Quentin's magic had been keeping the pieced- together corpse alive, and she could feel it's life-force fading rapidly.

"I knew you would come," her mother said with a small smile.

"I'm sorry, Mama. I was too late."

"Shh. Don't fret, darling. That man would have kept me trapped in here. But now... I'm free. I get to see Bethany again... and your father. But you'll be here alone."

"You don't have to worry about me. I'll be alright."

"My little girl has become so strong. I love you. You've always made me so proud..."

Hawke watched as her eyes rolled back into her head, and her body fell limp in her arms. She gently laid the body on the ground, and closed her eyes. She could feel Aveline and Varric's eyes on her as she climbed to her feet.

"Aveline, could you have the Guard retrieve the body, as well as Alessa's, and then have this place burnt to the ground." Aveline gave her a sharp nod in response.

"Varric, if you would, gather all the books and papers we saw in the other room before you leave, and bring them by my estate tomorrow."

"Will do, Hawke," he said quietly.

A soft click of her tongue had Zedicus at her heel, as she headed for the exit, never once looking back behind her.

* * *

><p>Much later that night, after having gone to his study in an attempt to distract himself for several hours, Orsino returned to his chambers. He locked the door behind him and rounded the corner, freezing in place at the sight of Hawke sitting at his table, her back turned to him.<p>

"She's dead," came her soft, emotionless voice. "He was killing those women and taking different parts of their bodies in order to bring his lost love back to life. For the rest of my life I will have to live with the image of that abomination wearing my mother's face."

Orsino approached her as she talked, and knelt on the floor next to her. "I am so sorry, emm'asha. If I had not failed to kill him when I had the chance, this never would have happened."

"You are not to blame for her death, Orsino. I might would have blamed you if you had not tried to stop him, but that is not the case. You did what you could. I could ask no more."

Orsino placed a hand on her thigh, and she flinched at his touch, but did not move to pull away. "What can I do to help you through this?"

"There is nothing to help with. I feel nothing, there is only emptiness. When my uncle left my estate, after accusing me of being to blame for my mother's death, I had considered going to the Hanged Man and attempting to fill that emptiness with alcohol, but that would have accomplished nothing aside from making me pass out and feel ill in the morning. So I came here. I had hoped seeing you, hearing your voice, would trigger something. Some sort of feeling. Anything. But I am just as empty now as I had when I decided to come here. I should just... go."

The chair screeched across the floor as she pushed it back, and she rose to her feet. Orsino quickly stood and threw his arms around her, preventing her from teleporting away without him. She didn't need to be alone in this state. "Stay with me tonight, Zalandra. I can help you, if you let me."

She pulled back from his embrace and looked up at him. It pained him to see the blank expression on her face, the light gone from her emerald green eyes.

"Then help me."

* * *

><p>Orsino awoke and reached out next to him, frowning when he realized she wasn't there. He raised his head and peered around the room with bleary eyes, before he spotted the neatly folded note left on her pillow. Groaning, he sat up and reached for the note, rubbing his eyes with his other hand.<p>

_Orsino__,_

_I__'__m__ sorry__. __I__ considered__ waking __you __before __I__ left__, __but __I __knew__ you __would __manage __to __talk __me __into staying __if __I __did__. __I __want __to __thank __you __for __last __night__, __I __am __feeling __much __more __like __myself __this __morning__. _

_Zalandra_

The letter drifted from his hand, landing in his lap on the bed. His head fell into his hands as he was once again struck with fear of losing her. She had said nothing of her love. Nothing of when - or if - she would return. The lack of words said much more to Orsino than the words she had bothered to actually write.


	20. Open Arms

_Living __without __you__, __living __alone  
>This<em>_ empty __house__ seems __so __cold  
>Wanting<em>_ to __hold __you__, __wanting __you __near  
>How<em>_ much __I __wanted __you __home_

_But__ now __that __you__'__ve __come __back  
>Turned<em>_ night __in to__day  
>I<em>_ need __you __to __stay_

_So __now __I __come __to __you__, __with __open __arms  
>Nothing<em>_ to __hide__, __believe __what __I __say  
>So <em>_here __I__ am __with __open __arms  
>Hoping<em>_ you__'__ll __see__ what __your __love __means __to __me_

_~*~ __Open __arms__ - __Journey__ ~*~_

Orsino heaved a sigh as he slid another pile of completed paperwork to the opposite side of his desk. He'd had two weeks worth to catch up on when he'd returned to the city two days ago, and after spending the entirety of the previous day, and the majority of his morning reading through pages and pages of mind-numbing complaints, requests, orders, citations, and schedules - he was finally done.

At the back corner of his desk there still sat one unopened envelope. How long it had been sitting there, how it had even gotten there, he was unsure. It had been the first thing to catch his eye when he'd returned, but he'd feared what it might say, and so, he'd set it aside, at least until his work was done. Now it called to him, beckoning for his attention. It was from _her_, and his heart couldn't bear to see what was inside.

Zalandra. His unbearably-missed, dearly-loved, and three-months-unseen lover, mate, and would-be wife - or so he had hoped a few short months ago. Before he had revealed his unintentional treachery, before he had failed to protect her, before her mother had been murdered - a tragedy he could have prevented, had things turned out differently.

The funeral pyre was lit the day following Leandra's death. Orsino had been there, holding his lover to his side as she fought back the tears that had threatened to fall. Carver had been there too, of course, as was her drunkard of an Uncle, and the rag-tag group of friends she had made since her arrival in the Free Marches.

Zalandra had withdrawn to the house as soon as the service was over, telling Bodahn she did not wish to be disturbed by anyone other than Carver, or Orsino. The pair had followed after her as soon as her friends had been assured she would be seen after. Carver went to see her first, while Orsino visited with Orana, the young slave Hawke had given a job after helping her escape Hadriana. It had been about an hour before Carver had come back down the stairs, informing Orsino that she wanted to see him.

* * *

><p>Orsino entered the room, closing the door behind him. A chill ran up his spine, and it worried him slightly that she had not lit a fire against the cold. Hawke watched him silently as he placed a couple of fresh logs in the hearth, and set them alight.<p>

"Thank you for coming to the funeral," she said quietly as he took a seat next to her on the bed.

Orsino stretched an arm out behind her, wanting to hold her, but unsure of whether she would welcome his touch, given the current stress on their relationship. Hawke eyed his arm for a moment, then pulled it around her, and kissed his neck before resting her head on his shoulder.

"I love you, Orsino. I am hurt, and angry, but I love you no less."

Her words encouraged him, so he brought up his opposite hand and rested it on the side of her neck. "And I love you, Zalandra. I am sorry for the pain you are in - for my part in it. If I could endure it for you, I would do so."

"No," she said with a shake of her head, burying her face further into his neck. "I don't need any more apologies, and I don't need pity - especially not from you. What I need is to know you love me, and time. I need to know you will still be here for me when I am ready, I need to know..."

"Hush, my dear," Orsino pressed a kiss to her hair, then rested his cheek against her head. "I am here. I will always be here. If you need time, you have it. If you need space, you may have that as well. Whatever you need, if I can give it to you, it's yours; you need only ask."

Hawke raised her head to look at him. The light had returned to her eyes, he noticed, but it was darker than it should be. A fury burned just beneath the surface that sent a shot of fear through every nerve of his being. If that rage was not dowsed, he worried that it may very well consume her.

"Then I ask you to leave, take my brother with you, and do not try to contact me. I will come to you when I am ready."

* * *

><p>Even sitting at his desk at what was now three months past that harrowing day, he could remember the feeling of a stone dropping in his gut. He'd known then that she intended to withdraw. He'd expected to hear about her sequestering herself within her estate, refusing to leave or to receive company. But he had not expected that she would vacate the city, leaving behind everyone she knew to embark on some soul-searching walk-about, taking nothing with her save for her staff, his cloak, and the most basic of survival supplies.<p>

No one had even discovered that she was gone until nearly a day after she'd left. Orsino had been the last to see her, the last to speak to her, and no one knew where she had gone. She'd simply vanished. Aveline had been the first to come speak to him about Hawke's disappearance. The next day it had been Carver, demanding to know what she had said to him that gloomy afternoon. A week later, Fenris had come to see him. Having returned to Kirkwall earlier that day, and having been filled in on all that had happened since his hiatus - he wanted answers as well. Hawke had not told anyone about their bond, he knew, but Fenris was suspicious, pointing out how she had come to get him that last day Fenris had seen her, and how it had appeared that Orsino had known she was coming, that he'd been waiting for her.

"Fenris, I know that you are concerned for her, and I can tell that you regret that you were not here for her, but there is nothing I can do. I did not know exactly what she was planning when last we spoke, but she made it very clear that she did not want to be contac- oomph," he grunted as he was slammed into the wall behind him - one of Fenris' clawed gauntlets wrapped around his throat, and the other poised scarce inches from his chest.

Orsino's eyes widened, knowing quite well what the lyrium-tattooed elf was capable of doing with that claw. "What did you do to her, _mage_? She loved you. Hawke would have remained here if you had not done something to hurt her. She trusted you, relied on you more than any other." The grip on his neck loosened slightly, and a pained sorrow took over Fenris' features. "She opened her heart to you, and you betrayed her, pushed her away, didn't you? Just like I did..." The hand falls away, and Orsino takes a deep breath, swallowing painfully past the bruise he is sure will appear in a few hours if not treated.

"I hurt her, yes," he confessed quietly. "Unintentionally, but irrevocably. I apologized more than once, but that last time we spoke, the day before she left; she said she didn't need any more apologies, she just needed time. She wanted to know that I would be here when she was ready... I told her I would always be here, offered her the time and space she needed; anything I could give her, she could have." Orsino leaned heavily on his desk with a sigh, his head tilted downward and his eyes closed. "She asked me to leave, and told me not to contact her. I have not seen or heard from her since."

Fenris sank into a chair in front of his desk with a heavy sigh. "My apologies, Orsino. It is unfair of me to take my anger out on you, just as it was when I took it out on her. We both let her down... and now she has no one."

* * *

><p>After that, and for the first time since he had met Fenris, the elf had actually engaged in a full-fledged conversation with Orsino. The elder mage even fancied that the warrior might eventually come to count him as a friend, probably not anytime soon, granted. But perhaps some day in the future.<p>

Weeks had gone by after that, a month, then two. Until Carver entered his office one day, an overwhelming sense of determination in his stance.

"We are going to look for her, and thanks to the Grand Cleric, you have been given leave to join us if you wish. We have been given two weeks, we set out in two hours. If you are coming, be in the courtyard and ready for departure."

Then, without awaiting a response, he had stomped out of his office and closed the door. Orsino had gone, of course - Carver, Aveline, Fenris, Prince Sebastian Vale - he had not met the Starkhaven heir before then, but he had heard Hawke mention him once or twice - and himself had set out at high noon. How could he not go? He loved her, longed to see her, but how he had dreaded the unlikely event that they did find her.

She did not want to be found. He probably could have found her if he'd tried, or at least narrowed down their search. He could still try to do so, if he made the decision to ignore her request. But as much as he loved her, as much as he longed to see her, and hold her, and kiss her - he had to keep his word. He had already hurt her, he could not knowingly, willingly go against her wishes if he was to have any hope of her eventually returning to him.

His eyes refocused on the letter, and he snatched it up, prying it open before he lost his nerve. "Maker help me," he groaned, his eyes closing momentarily as he inhaled deeply. "Why must you torture me so..." The parchment smelled of her, overwhelmingly so. When he reopened his eyes, there were tears blurring his vision, a sight he had not seen outside the privacy of his chambers in over a month. Moments like those were the hardest. When he found himself overcome by sorrow and loneliness. When he was consumed by his longing and desire for her. Moments when he prayed for a single word, a sign of her safety, an acknowledgment that she had not forgotten him, anything to ease the ache in his heart that seemed to grow more painful with every passing day.

Clearing his eyes, Orsino smoothed the parchment flat on his desk, and began to read his lover's neatly penned handwriting.

_My __dearly __beloved__,_

_Firstly__, __I__ want__ to __assure __you __that __I__ am __safe__, __or__ as__ safe__ as __a__ lone__, __roaming__ apostate__ can __be__. __I __owe__ you __an__ apology__. __I__ shouldn__'__t__ have __left __without__ telling __you__ more__ of__ my __plans__. __I__ wanted__ to__, __but__ I __knew __if __I __told __you __that __I __planned __to __leave __you __would __not __have __agreed __to __my __requests__. __You __would __have __stayed__, __and __you __would __have __easily __convinced __me __to __stay__, __because __I __love __you __too __much __to __deny __you __anything __when __you __fix __me __with __those __big__, __beautiful__, __pleading __green __eyes__._

_As__ of __this __moment__, __I __have __been __away __from __Kirkwall __for __seventy__-__four __days__, __I __imagine __by__ the __time __this __reaches __you__ - __and __then__, __once __you __can __bring __yourself __to __read __it__ (__yes__, __I __know __you __love__, __this __letter __has __probably __been __staring __dauntingly __at __you __for__ days __now__) - __it __will __be __closer __to__ ninety __days__ since __my __departure__._

_The__ road __I__'__ve __been __traveling __the__ past __few__ days __has __been __lonely__ and__ exhausting__. __I __haven__'__t __seen__ many __other __travelers__, __and __those __I__ have __seen__, __I__'__ve __avoided__. __Night __time __is __the __worst__. __I __have __no __fire__ most __nights__, __for __fear __of __drawing __unwanted __attention__. __It__'__s __so __dark__, __and __quiet__, __and __cold__. __Your __cloak __has __no __doubt __saved __me __from __freezing __to__ death __on __more __than __one __night__. __I__'__m __sorry__, __I __know __you __don__'__t __want __to __hear __such __things__. __I __really__ am__ alright__._

_More__ than__ anything__, __I __am__ writing __because __I__ miss __you__. __More__ even__, __than__ I __thought __I __might __before __I __left__. __But __this __has __been __good __for __me__. __I__'__ve __had __so __much__ time __to __think__, __time __to __sort __out __my__ hopes __and __wishes __for __the __future__ - __our __future__. __I __could__ not __have __done __this __in __Kirkwall__, __as __you __well __know __I__ rarely __get __a__ moment__'__s __peace __most __days__. __In __fact__, __over __the __past __year __the __only __time __I __truly __relaxed__ was __when __I__ was __with __you __in __your __chambers__. __I __was __able __to __shut __out __the __rest __of __Kirkwall__ - __the __politics__, __the __refugees__, __the __Qunari__, __the __templars__, __the __blood __mages__... __For __a__ little __while __each __night__, __curled __up __in __the __comfort __of __your __arms__, __it __was __just __you __and __me__, __and __nothing __in __all __of __Thedas __seemed__ more __important__._

_I __want __those __moments __back__. __I __want __to __wake __up __in __the __morning __and __feel __your __arms __around __me__. __I __want __to __look __up __and __see __you __smiling __down __at __me__. __I __want __to __hear __you __speak __my __name__, __to __hear __you __say __you __love __me__. __Would __you __sing__ to __me __if __I __asked __you __to__? __I __don__'__t __think __I__'__ve __ever __heard __you __sing__... __I __bet __it __would __sound __lovely__._

_I __am __not __ready __to __come__ back __yet__, __not __for __good__, __but __I __would __like __to __see __you__. __When __you__ retire __for __the __night__, __call __to __me __and __I __will __come __to __you__. __But __if __you __do__, __I__ beg __of __you__ not __to __ask __me__ to__ stay__. __I __will __come __back __when__ I __am __ready__, __I __promise __you __this__._

_My__ heart __is __forever __true__, __forever __longing__, __forever __yours__,_

_ Z__._

Orsino refolded the letter, and pressed the parchment to his lips. She missed him, and still loved him, it seemed that much of his worry had been unnecessary. Maker, why had he not read that letter sooner, he could have seen her yesterday, or the day before. Shaking his head, he placed the letter in his robe, and stood from behind his desk. He still had a few hours before he could return to the privacy of his chambers. He might as well keep himself busy in the mean time.

* * *

><p>Orsino stepped out of the washroom, and hurriedly pulled a pair of black trousers, socks, and his boots, before running to check on the food he had put on before drawing his bath. His chambers had warmed to a comfortable level between the cooking food, and the fire in the hearth, and he nodded to himself as everything seemed in order. He finished dressing, putting on the green silk tunic Hawke had gotten him a few months back, accompanied by the matching gold sash, and then he checked on dinner once more.<p>

"Almost ready," he murmured to himself, and made to set the table. When he was done he leaned against one of the cabinets in his small kitchenette and took a deep breath to steady himself.

"_Zalandra__."_

"_Yes__, __my__ love__," _came her instant reply, and his shoulders dropped slightly, losing the tension that had been with him ever since he'd reached his chambers.

"_Would __you __care __to__ join__ me__ for __dinner__?"_

"_I __take__ it __you __got __my __letter__?"_

"_I__ did__."_

"_I__ will __be __there __shortly__, __I __just __need __a __few __minutes__."_

By the time she arrived, he was placing dinner on the table. When he finished, he turned to face her, and his eyes took in her form. She had lost some weight, he noted, but otherwise looked healthy, and much the same as she had when last he'd seen her.

"I was beginning to think my letter had gotten lost in transit, or that you had... well, that doesn't matter now that I'm here." She closed the distance between them, her arms circling his neck without hesitation. Orsino's arms closed around her just as eagerly, holding her tightly, and burying his face into her neck.

"I have missed you so much," she whispered into his ear, and from the sound of her voice he was certain he would find tears streaming down her face if he looked. He couldn't bring himself to speak just yet; if he did, he knew he'd end up begging her to stay. So instead, he tightened his embrace even more, lifting her until her feet dangled above the floor. One of her hands slid into his hair and she used her fingernails to scratch lightly across his scalp. "Please try to relax, love, your emotions are running rampant."

Orsino took a deep breath and slowly lowered her back to her feet. "You made me dinner," she said in an attempt to focus his thoughts. She knows me too well, he thought to himself. He swallowed and nodded, managing to croak out a quiet, "Yes."

"It smells delicious."

Releasing her from his embrace, Orsino cupped her face in his hands, wiping away the remnants of tears with his thumbs. "Is that a new dress you are wearing?"

"Yes," she answered softly. "A couple of weeks ago I stopped in a tailor shop on my way to the tavern where I had been renting a room. On my way out I spotted this dress, and I stopped to admire it. At the time I couldn't think of any reason to buy it, so I left it. But that night as I lay alone in bed, thinking of you as I did every night, I envisioned this moment - our eventual reunion - and I couldn't imagine arriving wearing anything other than this dress. The next morning I waited outside the shop for nearly an hour before the owner arrived, I didn't want to risk it being bought by someone else."

For the first time in months Orsino felt a small smile tug at his lips. It was becoming more and more clear that while he had missed her, longed for her, worried for her, wondered where she was and what she was doing these last three months; she had thought of him, yearned for him just as much. "It is a beautiful dress, but it's beauty compares not to the woman who wears it."

A blush colored Hawke's cheeks as she smiled up at him. "After all these years - all we've seen, shared, and suffered - you are still quite the charmer, Orsino. And you know," she mused aloud, "even after all these years, after all the traveling I've done, visiting new towns, meeting new people, seeing new faces - I still avow that you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen."

"I love you," Orsino declared with a soft kiss. "I missed you," he kissed her again, "and I am elated that you are here." Backing away slowly, grasping one of her slender feminine hands within his own, he placed a kiss on her knuckles. "Would you care to dine with me before the food chills and loses it's zest, my dear?"

"I'd love to."

During dinner Hawke filled him in on the details of her time away. She'd traveled east along the coast to Ostwick, where she'd bought passage on a ship heading to Amaranthine City. From there, she'd traveled to Vigil's Keep where she'd stayed for a short time with her cousin, Zarina. After her stay with the Wardens she'd headed south along the Imperial Highway until reaching Denerim, Ferelden's capital. That's where she had been the past three weeks, the first two weeks spent staying in a small room at the Gnawed Noble Tavern in Denerim's market district, before she had received a most unexpected summons from King Alistair Theirin, requesting her presence at the royal palace.

After being escorted by four armed guards to the palace district, then being greeted by the King himself as soon as she entered through the front door, she learned that her cousin had written to the King - they had remained quite good friends over the years since the Blight - telling him who she was, and asking him to do what he could to make her stay in Denerim as pleasant as possible. Hawke had politely declined his offer for a room in the palace, but he had insisted, threatening to make it an order of the King if she refused to stay willingly. She'd acquiesced then, as she surely did not wish to offend the King of her beloved homeland.

Orsino had been mildly surprised to hear she had returned to Ferelden, but he supposed he probably should not have been. He knew that she had made a life in Kirkwall, she cared about it's people, she'd made friends, fallen in love with a man who would likely never be able to leave the Maker-forsaken place, but no matter how long she remained here - happily or otherwise - it would never truly be her home.

She went on to tell him about her thoughts of the new monarch, his kindness and charming demeanor, his fairness to all: whether commoner, elf, or mage, and how he had offered her a position at court if she ever chose to return to Ferelden for good. He could tell that is was a prospect she would consider if the option ever showed itself to be available, but he knew that she would not do so without being able to take certain individuals along with her - himself included.

Swallowing her last sip of wine, she reached for the bottle on the table to pour her another glass, and then stood to start clearing the table. Orsino rose to help her, and was reminded of all the previous times they had done this same thing, he smiled at the normalcy of it and the ease to which they worked together - even with such a menial task as washing and putting away the dishes.

When they finished, Hawke returned to the table and picked up her wine glass, taking a small sip before staring down into her cup, lost in thought. Orsino approached quietly, slowly stepping up behind her, he wrapped his arms loosely around her waist and leaned forward to rest his chin on her shoulder. "Finding anything of interest in the depths of your glass, my dear?"

"No," she said with a small shake of her head, and raised the glass to her lips once more. When she brought it down again, she turned to look at him out of the corner of her eye. "I was just making a decision, one I am certain you will be delighted to hear."

"I'm all ears," he replied slyly.

She laughed, and set her glass down on the table. "You're so adorable when your being facetious."

"I do try," he said in return, and stood to his full height so that he could pull her back against his chest. "Now please, tell me of this decision you have made. If I will be delighted, as you say, I am most keen to hear it."

"When I came here tonight I had intended to stay with you until you left for your office in the morning, and then I was going to return to Denerim. That is still my intention, but after seeing you - hearing your voice, feeling your touch - I have realized... I am ready." She tugged at his hands until he loosened his embrace so that she could turn around to face him. Her hands came to rest on his chest and she gazed up into his eyes, her sparkling pools of emerald captivating him all over again. "I want to come home, Orsino. I'm not saying I'm ready to face the whole of Kirkwall just yet, but I don't want to spend another day away from you. If you will have me, I will return to Denerim tomorrow morning, I will gather what few things I have accumulated during my time away, and then I will return here, to your chambers, where I will remain until I am ready to face the demands that undoubtedly await me beyond the serenity of these walls."

"You are certain you are ready, that this is what you want? Maker knows I long to have you back, my dear Zalandra, but I don't think my poor heart could bear it if you decided to leave again."

Hawke raised up on her toes to place the lightest of kisses on his lips, her eyes never leaving his even as tears began to fall from them. "I'm sorry, so, so sorry for the pain I have caused you, my love. I swear to you that I will never ever leave again without telling you where I am bound beforehand, and never will I remain gone as long as I was this time. I discovered many things in my time away, the most important being that people make mistakes, and when you love them so completely, so unchangeably, the only thing you can do is forgive them and hope that they will not make the same mistakes again. We have both made mistakes that we regret, things we would have done differently had we seen the repercussions of our actions beforehand. I love you, and I forgive you for your past mistakes. The only question that remains is can you forgive mine, and trust that I will not make them again?"

Orsino crushed her to him, his lips crashing into hers with a ferocity neither of them expected. He needed her, with every ounce of his being, he needed her - to kiss him, and touch him, and love him. To surround him, consume him, and to fill the aching whole her absence had left in his heart. Of course he could forgive her, he could forgive her anything as long she continued to love him, and it was with that thought that he lifted her and carried her to his bed - their bed - and if he had it his way they would not be leaving it again any time soon.


End file.
